What occupation each Beatle would have.

John: *would be the lead anchor.*

Paul: *would be the co-anchor.*

George: *would be the weatherman.*

Ringo: *would always be the guy out on assignment and does all the stupid stuff no one else wants to do.*

What they would do.

John: *makes weird faces at the camera while talking and throws weird stuff in every once in a while.*

Paul: *mostly sits there with his head in his hand and shakes his head, embarrassed by John.*

George: *eats a Twinkie while giving the weather and renames the towns after food.*

Ringo: *constantly standing too close to the camera so you have a good close-up shot of his nose.*

What they'd be saying.

John: *crosses his eyes momentarily* So five people died in a horrific plane crash Wednesday, don't you miss stupid bloody Tuesday? *sticks his tongue out* And then there was the murder of a man. The cops are suspecting his boss of killing him because the man wasn't working eight days a week. *thumbs his nose at the camera* Eleanor Rigby died today and Father McKenzie would like to send his condolences to . . . no one? I guess he's sending his condolences to no one because this Eleanor lady was lonely.

Paul: *face-palm* I hate my job. John tell the news right and stop doing that with your eyes!

George: *takes a bite out of the Twinkie* Be careful, folks, there's a tornado going to sweep right through Sammichville. There's also a heavy thunderstorm heading for Burrito City. I think Nachotown is going to have sunny clear skies today, though.

Ringo: *standing too close to the camera* Hello, everyone. Just a moment, the cameraman's gesturing. What does that mean? You're cutting off your head? You're shooing a fly? That's kind of vague, you know. Oh, you want me to get closer to the camera. *steps forward and runs into the camera.*