What they would do.

John: *makes fun of everyone who calls and plays terrible music for his own amusement.*

Paul: *gives his own opinion on the singers and talks more than playing music.*

George: *always eats while talking so his voice is always muffled and he plays the oldies.*

Ringo: *gets confused and plays the wrong songs.*

What they would be saying.

John: I'm on the horn right now with William from Wisconsin. Bill says he wants to hear "Where Did Our Love Go?" by the Supremes. Well, guess what, Billy, I'm not doing that! Ha! We're going to play some One Direction instead and everybody's going to sing along to . . . "Drag Me Down." What a terrible song title. Well, let's see if the song is as horrid as the name.

Paul: I think that Jim Morrison could have put himself more into "Love Her Madly." I just wasn't feeling it, and I don't think he was either. It just didn't feel that enthusiastic. I mean, I've heard better from Jim and sometimes the lyrics of his songs are horribly graphic. For instance, "Gloria" is cringeworthy. He gives us entirely too much information, leaving the kids that could be in the car gaping and scarred for life while you're looking at the radio in disbelief. It just isn't G rated. Now, where was I?

George: *takes a huge bite out of his sandwich and chews noisily into the microphone* Wow, that is a good sandwich! Have you guys ever been to Subway? Have you ever got a foot long? If you have, you guys are awesome! If you haven't, I don't want to know you. Anyway, I'm going to be playing "Sweet Little Sixteen" and then we're going to do some country-westerns that everyone has to love. Man, this is a good sandwich!

Ringo: I'm going to be playing "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen. *"Popcorn" by Hot Butter begins to play instead* Oops! This is "Bohemian Rhapsody." *Starts playing "Bad Leroy Brown" by Jim Croce instead* This is Queen. *"Another One Bites The Dust" by Queen starts to play* Well, I guess that's close enough.