What they would do.

John: *would go shopping with all the crazies on Black Friday because he wants some good entertainment.*

Paul: *would buy his presents online and avoid all the crowds.*

George: *would go to Subway and buy sandwiches for presents.*

Ringo: *would forget about Christmas until the day before, freak out, and literally throw random things into his cart.*

What they would say.

John: Whoa! That lady just plowed over a seven-year-old to get 50 percent off blankets! I'd better go to the cosmetics department for Paul's gift. *ends up getting smushed in between women who are raiding the makeup shelves.* Back off, lady! This is Paul's favorite brand!!!

Paul: Shopping on the line is so much easier than going out to the stores like John. Let's see here. I'll need ten books for John, which he'll finish in three days, a stuffed animal octopus for Ringo, and the complete first season of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives for George. Add to cart, add to cart, and add to cart. Done.

George: Okay. I need a veggie sandwich on white bread, a mustard sandwich on rye bread, and ham and cheese sandwich on Italian bread. Toast them all. *receives a weird look from the cashier.* Don't look at me like that! These are Christmas gifts for my friends! I'm not going to eat all of them! What do you mean they won't last until Christmas? Hmmm. Looks like we have a dilemma here. I guess I'll have to eat them all.

Ringo: *wakes up groggily and looks at the calendar.* Is it just me, or does it look like it's the day before Christmas? *lays there for a few seconds before tearing out of the bed, tripping all the way to the car still in his pajamas, and driving like a lunatic to Walmart.* Walmart, what would I do without you? *drags his arm across a shelf so all the things on it fall into his cart.*