What they would do.

John: *flips a horror movie on tv and leaves the kids in the dark, cackling the entire time.*

Paul: *gossips all night on the phone and ignores the kids.*

George: *helps "clean out the fridge."*

Ringo: *plays hide and seek with the kids until he loses one and has to call the police.*

What they would say.

John: Here, pip-squeaks, watch Halloween. It's about a not-scary-at-all guy named Michael Meyers. It's perfectly kid-appropriate. I swear it's rated PG, and I am giving you the parental guidance by letting you watch it by yourselves. MWAHAHAHA!!!

Paul: And I was like, "No, you didn't!" And she was like, "Yes, I did." And I was like, "Oh, My God!" Can you believe that? I mean, can you believe that? Hang on, I've got a kid trying to tell me something. What do you mean I've been talking on the phone all night. I swear, Kevin, it's only been twenty minutes! Anyway, as I was saying . . .

George: Ah, yes, this cheese is way expired. We better throw it out. *shoves the whole block into his mouth* And this pizza! *takes a huge whiff of it* Definitely bad. Trashcan! *basically inhales the slice.*

Ringo: I don't know what happened to her, officer. We were playing hide and seek and then she was gone and I couldn't find her and it's way passed my bedtime! *starts sobbing.*