POV Nicholas

I close my laptop after finishing my 5000-word descriptive story for my English class tomorrow, Friday, or today, since it's already 1:30 a.m.

It has been a week and four days since the start of the academic term, and Anne has not been able to attend due to a persistent cold. As a result, I have been collecting her schoolwork from her teachers and receiving complaints about how her absence is impacting her progress as a freshman. However, I don't understand how that's my fault. At least her being sick means my parents pay me no mind.

So far, school has been good, well, except for the fact that tomorrow is the monthly performance for Mr. Everton's class, and I have nothing prepared. Although he did say he would let me skip this one since I'm new, I don't think that's a good idea.

Although I have been getting along with the guys now to the point that I think of them as friends, which is a first for me, they also invited me to Evan's birthday party on Sunday, saying it's a surprise and that only close friends and family are going. So it's more of a get-together than a party. I was surprised they asked me to come, especially since Rick was the one who asked.

It did not take me long to realize that they are the guys that everyone wants to hang out with and the guys that girls desire to date, although they prefer to keep to themselves, having been friends since kindergarten and never having had any other close friends. They all state that it is because Rick chases them away, but in my personal opinion, it is not only him who is closed off. For some reason, they seemed comfortable with me, which was a surprise.

Since I have completed my work, I went to the bathroom and opened one of the cabinets. I retrieve my prescribed sleeping pills that I recently had refilled. I take out one pill, momentarily contemplating whether to take a second one as I observe the pill resting on my pale palm, which bears faint, small, semi-circular marks from my nails At that moment, I heard my phone ringing. Given the lateness of the hour, I am curious about the caller's identity. Despite this thought, I swiftly swallow the pill and rush to answer the phone lying on my bed, realizing that the sound might awaken my parents, which is an outcome I wish to avoid.

Our family dynamic may be relatively peaceful, with my parents generally disregarding my presence unless necessary. However, if I were to do anything that cause them annoyance, the consequences would undoubtedly be unpleasant.

Without checking the caller ID, I answered the phone.

"Hey," I hear the cheerful voice on the other end say the minute I pick up.

I instantly know who it is. "Hey, Emmett," I reply dryly. "Is there a reason you're calling me in the middle of the night?"

"I just wanted to hear your voice," I hear his voice say as it slightly gets deeper.

"Yeah, well, I'm hanging up now," I say, pushing away the weird feeling I got.

"I just miss you," he whines.

"Goodbye."

Before I can hang up on him, Emmett shouts, "Wait, please wait!" he begs me. "I just couldn't sleep."

"What do you want me to do about that?" I say, feeling irritated by this man-child.

"Tell me a bedtime story," He says with a sweet voice that sends shivers down my spine.

"Go to sleep,"

"Please, please, please," he kept on begging.

"Fine, one story, then you sleep," I said, caving in.

"Yay! You're the best!" His cheerful voice came from the phone. "Oh, make it a sad story. They always help me sleep best."

Seriously, is he a child? "Don't blame me if it's crap."

"It's okay," he said before quietly adding, "I love hearing you talk about anything."

As I felt my face heating up, I didn't question him but quickly started the story. "Once upon a time, there was a little boy who lived with a not-so-loving family. The parents always ignored him or took their anger out on him, mostly with words, but at times, they would slap him and lock him up in his room without any food. This always broke the boy's heart because he wanted their love, too. This boy had a sister who was very much loved and cared for by his parents. This made the boy resentful toward her and made their relationship awkward. Of course, he didn't hate the girl; in fact, he loved her very much. She is his sister and the only family that loves him. But it was hard for him to show it. This made the boy feel isolated." I paused for a moment, thinking, Why am I telling him this?

"Don't end there. It was getting better," I heard Emmett's voice say as he let out a yawn.

"But even then, he wasn't alone. He had one person, someone who loved him and saw how broken he was inside. This person was his everything until one day, she decided to help this boy live a happy life. But things didn't go so well when she tried telling everyone the truth. The boy's parents revealed her past misdeeds, ruining her reputation and her relationship with everyone in town. This broke the girl and made her leave the boy's side forever. This made the boy truly alone." Before I could add on, I heard Emmett's light breathing, realizing he had fallen asleep.

"Goodnight, Emmett," I said, hanging up and letting out a sigh.

This made me realize how truly lonely I am, I thought, laying down on the bed and letting sleep engulf me.

***********************

As the penultimate performance drew to a close, I couldn't help but feel a growing sense of trepidation and uncertainty about my impending turn. Earlier during class, for some reason, I had confidently informed Mr. Everton that I would perform something, and now here I was, anxiously awaiting my moment.

As someone not enrolled in the music writing class, I am relieved that I do not have to compose and perform an original song. However, I understand that those in the music writing class who are not enrolled in the song class are not required to perform their songs either. They have the option of requesting a classmate to perform their song on their behalf. In essence, we are only expected to showcase the skills we are acquiring in our respective classes and nothing beyond that.

As the song concludes, the girl stands with a graceful smile, and the class applauds her performance. Knowing it is my turn, I politely hand my flash drive to the person next to the equipment. They insert my flash drive into the laptop, and I show them where my track is for the song I am about to play. I am grateful that I had three free hours today, which allowed me to make my track on time. With that, I head towards the grand piano and sit down before nodding to the person next to the laptop to play my track.

As the track began, I also played the piano, contemplating how this song resonates with my current emotional state.

Yeah, I'd rather be a lover than a fighter
'Cause all my life, I've been fighting
Never felt a feeling of comfort, oh
And all this time, I've been hiding
And I never had someone to call my own,
I'm so used to sharing
Love only left me alone
But I'm at one with the silence

As I sing the first part, I experienced a profound sense of tranquility, as if I were confiding the truth to another person.

I found peace in your violence
Can't show me. There's no point in trying
I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long
I found peace in your violence
Can't show me, there's no point in trying
I'm at one, and I've been silent for too long

I allowed the words to flow freely as I played the song, liberating my emotions in the process.

I've been quiet for too long
I've been quiet for too long
I found peace in your violence
Can't show me, there's no point in trying
I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long

I'm in need of a savior (savior), but I'm not asking for favors
My whole life, I've felt like a burden
I think too much, and I hate it
I'm so used to being in the wrong, I'm tired of caring
Loving never gave me a home, so I'll sit here in the silence

With each word, I reflected on my ideal family and the incredible support my parents have provided to Anne. They welcomed her into their home when she was in need, while I, their own son, never truly felt at home with them.

I found peace in your violence
Can't show me, there's no point in trying
I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long
I found peace in your violence
Can't show me, there's no point in trying
I'm at one, and I've been silent for too long

The only distinction between myself and the song is that they have already demonstrated to me repeatedly that there is no benefit in attempting. I could never be the recipient of their love, and I am at a loss for options. 'They have already shown me there is no point in trying'

I've been quiet for too long
I've been quiet for too long
I found peace in your violence
Can't show me, there's no point in trying
I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long

After I finished, the classroom was quiet before the applause started. "That was incredible, Nicholas. I appreciate the passion you put into your work. I hope others can learn from your example," Mr. Everton said.

"Thank you," I replied, feeling slightly embarrassed.

As he gathered his belongings, the teacher expressed his appreciation to everyone for their performance and wished them a pleasant weekend.

Following his lead, everyone began to gather their things as well. As I was doing so, someone called out to me and held out my flash drive.

"Nicholas, right? Don't forget this," they said.

"Oh, thank you," I replied, taking my flash.

"No problem. By the way, great performance," they said before leaving the classroom.

A few other people also congratulated me on my performance as I was leaving. 'I guess I was good.'

As I exit the building, I notice Emmett and Rick patiently waiting for me.

"Hey, was that you singing?" Emmett inquires.

"Yeah," I respond, slightly surprised that they had heard me.

"We decided to leave basketball practice early," Rick explains. "You sounded great."

"He wasn't just great. He was fantastic. I didn't know you were this good at singing," he said as we started heading out.

"Anyway, are we heading to the shopping mall to find a gift?" I ask, changing the subject.

"Yes. Ray is keeping Evan occupied, so this is our only opportunity," Emmett says, hopping with excitement like a child.

"Can you stop jumping?" Rick snapped.

Ignoring him, Emmett runs to my car, shouting, "Off to the mall!" I just shake my head, walking with a tired-looking Rick.

*******************
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