September 9th, 1959. 4:43 PM. Backstage Dressing Room

"Yeah, Kerri is pretty okay. But Vi, can I tell you something?" Don asks, leaning in.

"Yeah, go ahead," I reply. People always seen to open up to me out of no where.

"I think I rushed into marriage with Kerri. I like her and all but I'm not too sure if I'm in love with her. Well, as in love with her than I thought,"

"Have you ever been in love before, Don?" I question.

He shrugs. "Sometimes I think I have been and sometimes I don't. It's weird, I know. How does someone not know that they're in love?"

"I didn't know I was in love with Buddy for months. It's not weird at all,"

"Months? Hell! Do you think you're in love with me?!" Don laughs.

I shake my head. "No, no I don't,"

"But you wouldn't know for months,"

"That's before I knew what love felt like. Now I know and I'm throughly in love with Buddy," I say, trying to deflect the weird flirty tone he's trying to use.

"Vi?"

"What?"

He quickly leans in and kisses me.

I yank my entire body away. "DON! What was that?!"

"What?" He smiles.

"Don, don't, no. No. I don't like you like that, I only have eyes for Buddy!"

"How do you know if you don't try?"

"I know because I love him more than anything! I know because I married him and I know because I still get butterflies when I see him and I know because I've never even looked at you in that way,"

"C'mon, Vi. We're good friends, you're gorgeous, why don't we just try?"

"Because I'm married! Because I don't want to!"

"Buddy wouldn't suspect a thing! Hell,  he trusts us enough to be alone together in a locked dressing room,"

I stand up. "He shouldn't have to worry about that! It shouldn't even have to cross his mind! He trusts us for a God damn reason. He should be able to step out for half an hour to go get some dinner without worrying about his wife and his friend hooking up!"

"Vi, you're over reacting. He wouldn't care,"

"Yes he would! Jesus, Don. Have you ever been cheated on? It really fucks you up," I say calmly. "Buddy is the love of my life, and you aren't going to get in the way of that,"

"I-"

"No. I hope you know that Buddy is going to hear about this. I'm sure Kerri will too. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go sit with someone who won't try to get me to cheat on my husband," I walk out of Don's dressing room and into Buddy and I's. The whole reason I even went in there was because Don wanted to ask me more about how women work. I suspect that wasn't his intention at all. I suspect his intention was for him and I to start having a secret little affair.

I close the door and sit down, putting my head on the counter. Buddy trusted Don. I trusted Don. Did I give off some sort of romantic impression? I've never tried to.

I hear the dressing room door open and I sit up. Buddy's back with some dinner.

"Hey doll," he grins. "I didn't know what t'get you so I went safe and got biscuits and gravy,"

I smile at him. "Thank you so much, I love you,"

"Love you too, baby," he says, setting down the bag of food and the two drinks. "Since we're in the south, you know I had t'get sweet tea. I sure miss it,"

I giggle. "You're right about that!"

"Yankees don't know sweet tea," Buddy laughs.

"Yankees? Texas wasn't even really part of the civil war! A minuscule part of it was involved!"

"Yeah, but anyone who ain't from the south is a yankee,"

"Am I a yankee even when I'm not from this country?"

"Yep!" Buddy says, pulling out the styrofoam containers of food.

"Fair enough," I reply. "You know that you're the absolute love of my life, right?"

Buddy pauses and looks at me. "Yeah?"

I nod. "Yeah. Yeah you really are,"

"You're mine too, doll,"

"I know. You wouldn't have put up with me for this long if I wasn't,"

"I mean..."

"A psych ward, emotional instability, shady past,"

"Worth it all, babe. Psych ward didn't bother me a bit. I just missed you a whole lot. Emotional instability? I've heard how to deal with it because I want to be there when you need it,"

"Those new meds have really evened me out,"

"Damn, it's weird not having you laughing then punching me then crying on me all within 10 minutes," Buddy jokes.

I playfully shove him. "Shut up!"

"Ruined one too many of my shirts with mascara,"

"Mascara washes out, meanie,"

"Even if it didn't, I would still let you cry on me whenever you needed,"

I smile and peck his cheek. "You're the best,"

I'm not going to tell him about Don until after the show. Theres no way Buddy could concentrate on the performance if he knew his best friend kissed his wife.

Later after the performance

"That was a real good one, Vi. It went way better than the last couple!" Buddy exclaims as we walk into the dressing room.

I have to tell him about Don. It's bothering me way too much to wait. "Buddy, sit down, I have to tell you something,"

Buddy's eyes go wide as he slowly sits down. "Huh? Vi are you okay?"

I sit down across from him. "I'm fine. I just, I feel really guilty for something that isn't even my fault!"

He leans in closer and grabs both of my hands. "Okay..."

I take a deep breath. "Earlier when you were gone, Don and I were talking in his dressing room and he kissed me,"

Buddy raises an eyebrow. "What? No way. Really?"

I slowly nod. "Yeah..."

"Vi, you promise me you're not lying?"

"I'm not! I promise, I promise I'm not lying, I'm so sorry,"

"Babe, what happened?"

"We were just talking then he got all flirty then he just leaned in and kissed me. I wasn't ready and I didn't want it, I promise,"

"I believe you, Vi. I do. I'm sorry that happened. What are we supposed to do?" Buddy frowns. "I trusted that asshole!"

"I don't know, I just- I don't know anymore,"

"We'll pretend it didn't happen for the rest of this tour then we can do somethin'?"

I nod slowly. "Yeah. Yeah that sounds alright,"

"Do you feel okay being near Don?" Buddy sets a hand on my shoulder gently. He knows all too well about how tense I get when men touch me and I'm not ready for it. Especially in some intimate sense.

"Yeah, no, I'm okay, don't worry, I'll be okay,"

"Are you sure, doll?" He furrows his eyebrows. "I know how you are,"

"I'm okay," I state. "I really am,"

"You gotta tell me if you ain't, okay?" He squeezes my shoulder. "I love you,"

I smile. "I love you too. I'm getting better,"

"You really are. I'm so proud of you, doll. You've really made it so far and I know it hasn't been easy,"

I pull him in and hug him tightly. "I love you, I'm so proud of you too,"

To this day, Buddy, Adalyn Ainsley, and Mr. Leafe are the only ones on planet earth to have ever said they were proud of me. I'll never ever forget that.

March 10th 1954. Mr. Leafe's office, Lubbock High School

I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to punch a God damn wall. I want to yell at the top of my lungs. I want to throw things. I want to go home.

Band is going to be the end of me, I swear. I sold my soul to this damn Westerner Pride Marching Band. I have given everything I've got. I've poured hundreds and hundreds of hours into transposing music, teaching the music, teaching how to march, teaching how to play, doing everything I can. I've been at this school at 5am. I've been at this school until midnight. I've organized an entire room filled with sheet music. I've moved thousands of chairs and music stands. I've pushed percussion equipment to and from the football field countless times. Hell, I've even ridden in Mr. Leafe's trunk before. I've done everything I possibly could for this band.

And I still have more to go.

And it just might kill me.

I'm glad Mr. Leafe gave me some time off today during free period. He's just letting me sit in his office and eat soup I warmed up in the office.

I've never needed to eat soup so badly.

I want to drown myself in this damned chicken noodle soup.

I hear the doorknob click and I glare up from my bowl. Its Mr. Leafe, of course.

"Violet, hey, I wanted to talk to you," he says softly.

I feel my heart skip a beat. "Okay..."

He pulls up a chair and sits next to me. "Violet, I'm so proud of you. I have never ever been so proud of a student in my entire career. You've worked so damn hard with little to no recognition, and I want you to know that I see that. I see you when you're in the band room at 7am putting out chairs and stands. I see you helping the underclassmen. I see you organizing music and I see you making folders. I see you and I want you to know that I'm so grateful you're here. You're the glue that silently holds this band together, and I know that,"

I feel a few tears stream down my cheeks. "Thank you..."

"You're a really great percussionist, and I dunno what I'm gonna do when you and Buddy are gone. Even though Buddy isn't IN the band, he still is a big part of it,"

I nod slowly.

"You're a good person inside, Vi. I know you are. You're gonna go far in life, I know you will. I'll always be watching proudly, knowing that I contributed to your greatness,"

"Thanks, it means a lot,"

"You've worked hard and I'm proud," He smiles and pats my shoulder.

I hunch back over my soup. "Yeah,"

"I'll let you eat, God knows you need it. Take a break in class today, I'll have Jerry tame the animals," he stands up. "You can just hang around in here, if you want. You're going great, Violet," he walks out of the office.

Well, I guess someone recognizes me.

A/N: Sorry for the weird chapter yall, I've been sucked into a story with my good pal OneHappyMouse oops, I'll try to get better updates going bebs