so I know we talked about this awhile ago

But I was thinking about it, and this isnt gonna be the last one I write about this, but honestly this came to me just randomly.

Also its 1 am as Im writing this. So it may get a little weird and cringey.

It was a cold, rainy day in New York, the city that never sleeps. And that had always been true of the now very rich and accomplished redhead. An insomniac who always had trouble falling asleep and staying asleep.

But that month in particular had been hard on the aging former Avenger and mother of five.

First, her sister had died younger than she should have, leaving three biological children and two [?] adoptive ones and an absolutely heartbroken and emotionally shattered husband in her wake. She died a slow and painful death that had shaken everyone she had known to the core.

But that wasn't the worst of it. No, as if she hadn't suffered enough, the loss of his wife and her sister had broken her husband and her brother in law so badly that he worked himself, quiet literally, to death.

So carve another notch onto the headboard, this not really frail but definitely aging woman had lost another friend. Another family member. And not to old age, no. Occupational hazard. 

Oh how she loathed that word. Phrase. Whatever. Occupational hazard. She knew what it meant, she herself had used it over and over when referring to her dead friends in their eulogies. She wrote a lot of those evivdently, mostly due to her eloquent use of words and way of saying the right thing.

But this time, she decided the night prior to the funeral, she wouldn't make it sound like this was something that was always a possibility. No. No more will she say that they knew the risks of their job, and always made choice when they left their homes.

Because enough was enough. 

It was the morning of the funeral for the late great Peter Parker. His children had already announced that he was, or had, been Spider-Man. A decision Regina whole heartedly supported.

But, with large, groundbreaking announcements comes great consequences. [I'm sorry I had to].

The turnout for the funeral, held at a historic church in the city Peter had loved so much, was massive and unexpected. Or at least, if you talked to the immideate family and most other people. If you talked to Regina she would say she one hundred percent expected it, but thats besides the point.

There was virtually no parking anywhere for at least a mile, and the crowds, oh my word were they huge.

People came from all over the city to pay respects to the webslinger.

And the Stark-Rogers family was no different. They had parking, thank god, and were walking from the parking lot to the church, past protesters bc there are some sick people out there, past adoring fans, in this god awful procession to the inside of the church.

Words cannot describe the feeling of dread Regina felt. She had done this too many times, but in a way this was different.

They took their seats in the front few pews, either next to [bc at this point im thinking most people who would be immediate family are dead] or behind the Parker kids.

And then, once everyone was seated, the service [eh it sounds religious but whatever] began.

Regina wasn't the first speaker. No, she never really liked being the first speaker at funerals, it showed too much sentiment. However, at some point during the likely long funeral service, she was asked to speak.

She stood up slowly, no help necasarry or wanted this is Regina she probs uses her powers to help herself up who are we kidding, and smoothed out her dress before walking up to the podium thing. She took a deep breath, and wiped away the tears that had already fallen.

"Today is a day that I hoped would never come in my lifetime." Regina said this was a small, sad smile. "Peter Parker was a man I knew since he fifteen and I was like, twenty six. He dated my sister, and at the time, I didn't really let on that I deep down, and he always gave me shit about this,  really truly liked him. Now, if I was a religious person, which I'm not, I would say Peter was looking down at me and smirking. Because that bastard always had a comeback, always had some witty remark. But I say this with such reluctance, but zero doubt, he was a better person than I was." She sighs, fidgeting with her silver bracelet, that was so worn now you could see the fingerprints in the silver. "I, a girl who had been hurt so badly over and over again that killing a human being was rationalized to an extent in my brain, and it still is. But him? No. He refused adamantly that he would never kill a person unless he absolutely had to." She shook her head, wiping away more tears as she looked out at the sea of people.

"Peter was an amazingly flawed human being, but everyone has flaws. I have flaws, more than most if we're being honest and I do try to be honest nowadays but Peter, oh he was one of the good ones. Flaws and all, he tried to make this city better everyday, and saved so many lives doing it. Unlike us Avengers who did our jobs on such broad and violent scale, he protected a neighboorhood, a city, that had people that he tried to protect. And for that, many people here today will forever be grateful. I knew him and Spidey, but also as a father who wasn't always there but did his best. And as a husband who could come across as abusive but I learned firsthand these last few months how much he try cared for my sister. How much he loved her, cherished her and truly couldn't live without her. But enough of the sad stuff, lets talk about some slightly happier things." She did her best to smile through the tears, an attempt she made mostly in vain.

"Peter and I always had this love hate relationship that I tried to calm when they got married and had kids but it never really went away. I was always trying to help, always trying to make up for past mistakes, and he was always calling me out. On several things. But he was never without a point. Albeit sometimes a convoluted point but he usually had a point. He had a knack for making you laugh in the worst and weirdest situations, and I personally never had really great stories to share, but we had some good family outings. Family occasions. His kids got along with my kids so here we are, right? That's how it is you know? You always have to interact with other people because of your children." She sighs. "Oh shit, I'm sorry. I'm trying to be less depressing and its really not working, this is what you get for putting an old woman up here." She kinda grumbles this, mainly to herself. "Anyways, in closing, Peter and I didn't always get along but in the end we were family and he didnt deserve to go out like that. Nobody does; I won't stand up here like I have in the past at these things and say things like we know what we're getting into when we go into the field." She scoffs. "This man was grieving, and not in the right state of mind and screw occupational hazards to hell. He didn't deserve to go out the way he did but I think in some ways he went out the way he wanted to. Doing what he loved." And then, before she really started to ramble, she stepped down. She walked back to her seat and sat down next to her super soldier husband who took her hand silently, and they watched the rest of the service in silence.

I apologize for this in a way.

But really I'm not sorry you should be sobbing bc I'm sobbing.