Over this month of his punishment, Wei Ying noted that not once did Lan Zhan complain about being made to eat with him, sit with him, to see only him during the daytime. Sure since the second day they had at least seen each other morning and night for meditation, but to spend all day every day with Lan Zhan was wonderful ... and not just a little bit of torture. He would often feel his heart warm up but at the same time it constricted as he was not able to reach out to Lan Zhan. He woke every morning expecting that man to be holding him tightly in his arm, to kiss him awake ... instead he woke up alone and lonely.

On the last day of writing the rules, Master Lan arrived with a deep frown. 'WangJi, come with me for a moment, I want a private word with you.'

'Hmm.' He looked to Wei Ying. 'Continue.'

'Yes Lan Zhan.' He grinned happily up at the man who gave him a tiny smile in return, then set to work. It was rather odd that Master Lan had even come to the library during his punishment as he was sure the man didn't do this the last time. He only spent a little while wondering what they were talking about before setting to work. He had been writing for about twenty minutes before Lan Zhan returned looking rather odd, pale and his eyes were filled with an emotion he had never seen in his eyes.

'Lan Zhan? Is something wrong?'

'Work, no talk.'

Wei Ying almost cringed at the icy tone of his voice. Something had happened and it had affected Lan Zhan really badly. 'Lan Zhan something happhmmn ...' he stopped when he was silenced without any notice.

No look or words of warning ... nothing, just the silence placed on him. In all the years they had known each other in the last life, Lan Zhan had never done anything like this. If his mouth could open it would have hit the floor.

He had never known Lan Zhan to act without warning.

'Work and from now on, only call me ... HanGuang-Jun.'

He felt his eyes grow in shock as his whole body shivered at the ice that filled Lan Zhan's voice.

What is this, why is he so cold to me?

Why is he revoking his permission to call him Lan Zhan?

What happened? He felt his heart tremble even as his hands did.

Something has changed for the worse.

I don't like that look of distance in his eyes when he looks at me.

It's like there is no recognition of him in those eyes.

For the remaining part of the day, he didn't say a single word until he picked up his work and walked over to Lan Zhan. He didn't even bother going for lunch ... and Lan Zhan had not indicated for him to go for lunch either.

'I have finished Lan Zmmmm, mhmm.' He froze in horror.

He was for real.

I am only to call him HanGuang-Jun from now on?

I hate this?

Does he hate me?

Did I do something so bad that he hates me enough to cut me off totally?

Lan Zhan, just tell me .... Talk to me?

Lan Zhan.

He placed the pages on the table with a trembling hand even as his eyes burnt from the tears that threatened. He felt the Silence lifted. 'Han ... Guang ... Jun ... I have finished ... I will not ... be back ... tomorrow.' He watched as without looking at him at all, Lan Zhan flipped through the pages ... then ... used his hand in a flip motion to tell him to leave.

He didn't even look up at me.

I am nothing to Lan Zhan any more ...

Just another student he does not care about .....

I've lost him.

I .... Lost him.

Wei Ying all but staggered from the library with his heart pounding in agony only to come face to face with Lan XiChen. The trembling of his whole body would not stop and the tears that threatened burnt his eyes.

'Wei WuXian, are you alright? What has happened?'

'...' He opened his mouth but nothing would come out other than a small pained noise, so he ran to his room and locked the door. He didn't care about breaking the no running rule, if he didn't he would fall to the ground weeping out there.

Less then five minutes later a knock came and Wei Ying jumped.

'Young Master Wei, can you tell me what is wrong?' Lan XiChen called softly.

Inside the room, Wei Ying plastered his hands over his mouth so the sounds of his sobs could not be heard but the tears were making rivers down his cheeks. He moved back on the bed until his back was against the wall.

When Lan XiChen received no response, he hurried to the library only to find his brother already gone but Jiang Cheng was walking towards him. 'Jiang Cheng, can I ask you if you know what is wrong with Wei WuXian?'

'Is something wrong with him ... did he do something to ....'

'No, I don't think it's something to do with WangJi punishing him as he thinks nothing of those silencing charms WangJi places on him. Almost like it is a game for him to play. But just a few minutes ago, when he was leaving the library for the last day of his punishment ... he looked so ... pained, almost like he was about to burst into tears and now he will not even answer his door.'

'Really?'

'Yes. I thought I would ask WangJi about it, but he is gone now.'

'I will go and talk to Wei WuXian.'

'I will go with you brother.'

'YanLi.'

'I'm sorry for over hearing ....'

'It's alright sister. Let's go.' He turned to the obviously worried Lan XiChen. 'If I find out what is wrong with him, I will come and tell you?'

'I would appreciate that. I know my brother could not possibly do anything to Wei WuXian but ... the look in his eyes worries me.' The truth was, he had seen that look before, years ago. He had stumbled across a woman who had just had her heart shattered by the man she loved.

Jiang Cheng knocked on Wei Ying's door only to have no response at all. This time he banged hard. 'Open this door now.'

'I'm fine ... I just need ... time.'

YanLi heard his voice and quickly knocked. 'A-Xian, please open the door.'

'YanLi ... do not worry about me .... I'm .... Fine .... Just not .... Feeling well ... Need time.'

YanLi knew from the sound of his voice, he was fighting tears. 'Okay, but when you are feeling better, talk to us about it.'

'Nothing wrong.' Wei Ying wiped the tears from his eyes and cheeks as he lay on the bed curled into a tight ball.

He hates me ...

I've lost him ....

What did I do? ...

Lan Zhan ....

Why?

Lan Zhan at that moment was sitting in their place of meditation and looked around only to not see Wei Ying coming at all. It's for the best. Now he will stay away and not talk to me or muck around with me ... he will finally behave properly. Even to his own words, Lan Zhan felt his heart ache with loneliness.

As the next three days were to be free days, Wei Ying refused to leave his room for anything other than to take some food to this room. He didn't look at anyone, didn't talk to anyone, didn't do anything other than lift his food and return to his room.

Wei Ying refused to answer anyone who knocked, even when his sect brother and sister returned for answers, or Lan XiChen and others who asked if he was alright. Apparently he had made so many friends with all the different sects he had almost everyone come and ask if he was alright. He sat on his bed trying to stop his heart from tearing in half but the tears would not stop quite that easy.

Lan Zhan has turned his back on me ...

He will not allow himself to love me ...

I have lost him totally ...

I may save everyone in this cultivation world but ...

I have lost the one thing that I need to think it is even worth doing.

He fell asleep fully clothed yet again and didn't even wake when someone knocked on his door in the morning. He finally woke at about noon and that was the moment his eyes landed on the desk over flowing with paper. 'The only thing I have left.' He dragged himself from his bed and sat at the table to write every detail he could think about everything ... but nothing about him and Lan Zhan as that would just make him cry again.

I will forget all of that and just work through this.

That way I will not think of him ...

Or our lost lives together ....

Wen Ning ...

You were right ....

We will never be together ...

And never be with anyone else ...... as if I could ever accept anyone else.

The first day back in class, Wei Ying sat at his desk and just looked at the scroll on the desk, reading it word for word ... not once lifting his head, not once looking around, not once seeking those golden eyes.

************

Thank you for reading this story, commenting and voting.

This is just a one off picture that I think tells you about their character.

Wei Ying: Will you come here please?

Lan Zhan: COME HERE NOW!