Shame and Guilt
WARNING: This fic starts out relatively light-hearted and cute, but let me warn you now that stuff will get significantly darker, eventually. I promise that none of the dark stuff is ever glorified; this is not a kinky story. This is a story of two boys trying to overcome the dark past, together.
***
*bzzz* *bzzz* *bzzz*
The blue blanket covering Lance shuffled off of him as he gasped awake, eyes wide and breaths coming out in heavy wheezes. He pursed his lips together, ignoring the tangy taste of morning breath in his mouth as he turned to face the ceiling. There was an uncomfortable amount of sweat caking his pillow, but physical comfort was the last thing on his mind right now as he reflected on the dream he had just had.
The ocean-based dreamcatcher that hung from the ceiling right above his bed caught his eye, comforting him and reminding him of where he was right now as his fingers curled into the bedsheet. Gradually, his breathing returned to normal, and his eyes and body went lax as he let the anxiety from his dream drift away.
Only once he had calmed down did he notice the buzzing noise of his phone's alarm, and he reached over to grab it, glad to have something to focus his mind on.
He tapped the dismiss button to get rid of the alarm, panic shooting through his body as soon as the screen cleared up and showed him the time.
Noon? I set the alarm to noon?! He scrambled to sit up, tossing his blanket off completely as he swiped across his phone, praying that his clock was messed up and that he hadn't actually missed his morning shift; something he had never done for as long as he'd worked at the Web.
As soon as he saw texts from Pidge and Hunk, his heart began settling down, and he fell back against the headboard of his bed with a deep sigh of relief. Right - he had the morning shift off today and promised the two of them that he would go see them.
Between waking up from a familiar nightmare and having a brief panic attack from thinking he had missed work, Lance was feeling pretty shitty already this morning, so he took a few extra moments to lay in bed to recollect himself. He opened up his text messages to respond to Pidge and Hunk, but paused in surprise when he saw he had a message from a new number.
'Hey, it's Keith, sorry that I didn't text you as soon as I got home. I collapsed, like, right away. Anyway, I figured I'd do it now right before heading off to school, since, better late than never. Good morning, I guess'
Lance's lips curled up in amusement, and he couldn't help the snicker that overtook him as he read through Keith's text. He was so awkward and dorky that Lance wasn't even sure what to call him anymore. Even a virgin had more seductive flair than Keith did.
Whatever the case, all that mattered was that he had decided to go through with texting Lance, which meant he was interested. Sure, he may have acted suspiciously strange the last time they met, but at the end of the day, he was a customer who would give Lance money, and that was all that mattered.
He quickly typed up replies to Pidge and Hunk's texts, assuring them that he was on his way and that he hadn't cancelled on them, before setting his phone down to get ready for the day. He flicked the bathroom lights on and immediately looked at himself in the mirror, the color of his own eyes bringing up images of the ocean, which in turn caused his mind to drift to the words from Keith's text.
'I figured I'd do it now right before heading off to school'
He sighed, tearing his eyes away from the mirror to turn on the sink water. The only reason he was thinking like this was because of the dream he had had; it wasn't important. He'd already put everything behind him.
Still, as he splashed the cool water against his face, he couldn't help but scoff at that single line from Keith's text in distaste and contempt...and envy.
School.
***
Lance hummed along to the song that was playing in his car, which was the same set of r&b music from his performance from last night, coincidentally enough, as he pulled into the driveway of Hunk's house. This was the regular meeting place for the three of them.
His phone buzzed, informing him of a new text from Hunk as soon as he parked in front of the house.
'You almost here? We need your help :D'
'Oh, sorry! I shouldn't text you while you're driving!'
Lance didn't bother to reply since he was already here, although Hunk's enthusiasm was amusing at the very least. He walked up the limestone steps and knocked against the door. Since Hunk had texted him asking where he was, he had assumed they hadn't seen him pull into the driveway; however, the door opened way too fast for them to have not been waiting by it or something.
"Lance!" Hunk cried out, walking forward to embrace Lance.
He laughed a bit, nodding at Pidge from over Hunk's shoulder as he let the big guy squeeze him. He was used to the physical affection from Hunk by now.
The two of them stayed like that for a while with Hunk not letting go of Lance until Pidge cleared her throat.
"Yes, yes, we're both very happy to see Lance. Don't you think we should get back to the pizza though?" Lance raised an eyebrow at her words as Hunk stepped back with a wide smile.
"Right, right! We're making a pizza! Come on, I said we needed your help, remember? Pidge doesn't know what she's doing." Hunk chuckled. "You would think she'd know since she's Italian."
"I'm right here, Hunk. I could always sabotage the pizza."
Hunk gasped. "You wouldn't! Food itself is a sacred art, and homemade pizza is something even greater than that! Lance knows what I'm talking about!"
Pidge crossed her arms with a huff. "Okay, would you actually let him inside now, then? It's the middle of April, you're gonna let a bunch of bugs inside."
Lance laughed nervously as he watched the two friends squabble, his fingers fiddling together. They finally moved in more so that he could step into the house, closing the door behind him and looking around the familiar living room. The walls were a shade of yellow that wasn't too bright or unappealing to the eyes, instead giving off a welcoming feeling with encouraging quotes encrypted in black. He could smell fresh ingredients, which was normal for Hunk's house, as the man waved him over from behind Pidge, who had already disappeared into the other room.
He followed into the kitchen and observed the cutting boards atop the several counters, knives laying beside several different chopped vegetables. Hunk's cooking area was always a sight to behold, and it was probably the thing Lance enjoyed most about the little meetups he would partake in at his house.
"Alright, Lance!" Hunk clapped him on the shoulder, visibly switching into his head chef mode. "I originally had Pidge chopping vegetables while I worked on the dough and the tomato sauce and the meat, but she proved unable to do that, so-"
"You could try and make me sound like less of a burden," Pidge grumbled.
"What? It's just the truth!" Hunk defended, turning to her.
Lance scratched the side of his head, looking at the cut vegetables on the cutting boards. "Well...it looks to me like she was doing a pretty good job."
Hunk chuckled a bit, turning to Lance. "No, no, Lance; I did those. I took over for Pidge. It'd be awesome to have you helping me out, though! It's rough baking a homemade pizza on your own!"
"Right. On your own." Pidge had taken a seat now at Hunk's kitchen table, arms crossed as she propped one leg on top of the other. Lance gave another nervous laugh, awkwardly amused by their antics.
"Uh, yeah! Sure. No problem, Hunk. I can do that."
Hunk beamed and held up a knife, flipping it in his hands skillfully before holding it out for Lance to take. "Sweet! Cooking with you is always fun! Let's get pizza'ing!"
"That isn't even a word, Hunk," Pidge informed, pushing her glasses up. Hunk laughed and turned to converse with Pidge about it, the two of them getting into an off-topic discussion about the Italian language.
Lance, feeling as out of place as usual, just walked around Hunk to the cutting board, grabbing the half-cut pepper to cut away at it while tuning out their conversation. His job here was to chop peppers, after all, so that was what he was going to do.
Since the first pepper was already mostly cut, he finished it off quickly before turning to grab another pepper from the ones Hunk had set up nearby. As he did so, however, Pidge swung out of her chair to walk over and lean against the other side of the counter directly across from him.
"So, Lance, how've you been?"
"Yeah! How's work?" Hunk added, shifting closer to join them.
Lance set the pepper down in front of him, twirling his wrist a little to loosen it up as he smiled back at them politely. "Oh, work is fine! Thank you for asking." He answered simply before turning his attention back to the pepper, sliding the knife against it.
Hunk and Pidge seemed to share some sort of silent conversation, but Lance was more than happy to just focus on his job of chopping peppers. It gave him something to do other than stand around in their awkward silence, after all.
Pidge eventually cleared her throat, moving more in his line of sight. "You know, Hunk and I decided to make pizza for lunch, but, it's probably breakfast for you, right?"
Lance nodded, not looking up from his cutting so as to not cut himself. "Yeah." Hunk and Pidge both knew what Lance did for a living and both of them had gotten used to his work schedules; they had had to after eight months of knowing him. It was a bit of a relief that they didn't give him a hard time for being a stripper and a borderline prostitute, but that was only natural since Pidge's brother Matt had been a stripper and Lance's co-worker back in the day.
"...I bet that's sorta weird, huh? Pizza for breakfast, I mean?" Pidge spoke up again, chin in her hand as she tilted her head at Lance.
"What? No! It's fine! Pizza for breakfast sounds just fine to me!" Lance assured, looking up to meet her eyes to put her at ease. In reality, he probably would've preferred to avoid pizza since it tended to give him too many calories, but he didn't want to be a burden to them, so he went along with it. For whatever reason, she still looked a bit upset as Hunk leaned forward.
"Lance is right! I mean, it's pizza! Nobody would say no to pizza, no matter what time of day it is! You should know that, Pidge!"
"I swear if this is another Italian joke, I'm not helping you with your project after this."
Hunk gasped and began complaining, and Lance just smiled a little before going back to cutting the pepper, allowing the two friends to talk to each other. He really didn't know all that much about Hunk and Pidge except that they'd known each other for a while and that they were super smart, and while Lance had been hanging around them for months now, he was usually just sort of 'there', in the background. Not that he minded, of course.
He finished chopping the pepper and pushed the pieces to the side, looking up to grab another one. That was when he noticed Pidge and Hunk had gone silent and seemed to be having another wordless conversation, with Pidge gesturing with her eyes over in Lance's direction every now and then. In other words, it was another awkward silence.
Lance's brows furrowed a bit, trying to figure out what they were doing. Why were they completely silent while gesturing towards him at each other? Why wasn't Hunk finishing up the pizza?
He looked around, eyeing the unfinished dough, and suddenly he understood what they were trying to imply.
"You want me to finish up the rest of the pizza?" He set the knife down, figuring that that was enough peppers anyways, before turning to do the rest of the work. Both Hunk and Pidge immediately panicked, and Hunk rushed past him to get to the dough.
"No, no, no! Nothing like that, I would never make you do all the cooking! I was just, uh...deciding whether or not I should put pineapples on the pizza or not!"
Pidge made a disgusted gasping sound. "Pineapple on pizza? Shame on you!" She leaned back against the counter to look at Lance again. "What are your thoughts on pineapple on pizza, Lance?"
Lance blinked in both surprise and confusion, not really understand what was going on anymore. "Uh...I don't know. Never really thought about it," he said simply. That was the only answer he could give since he didn't think about pizza often and thus didn't think about pizza toppings often. Pineapples were healthy enough, but putting them on pizza didn't suddenly make pizza any better for him, so he wasn't sure about the idea.
Hunk and Pidge exchanged a quick glance, and Lance recognized the fleeting look of disappointment that flashed in their eyes from his answer before they smiled at him and went to work on the pizza. Or at least, Hunk did while Pidge watched.
Lance reflected their smile, but on the inside, he was sighing as he grabbed a mushroom and fiddled with it in his hands. Honestly, he didn't completely understand why Pidge and Hunk were still inviting him to hang out with them after all these months. He always figured it was because they wanted something from him, but even after all this time, he couldn't understand what it was they were getting by talking to him.
For him, he had only started talking to them in the first place to use them as a distraction from all the shit that had happened so many months ago, and even to this day, he only hung out with them so that he wouldn't be left to his own thoughts when he wasn't at work. He used them to take his mind off of things and that was all; that was the basis for their relationship. But no matter how much he analyzed it, the question still remained - what did they use him for?
It didn't take too long for Hunk to finish up the rest of the pizza, and once they were done in the kitchen, they moved to his living room to let it sit in the oven.
"Hey, Lance, you wanna see something cool?" Hunk sat down in front of a desk in his large living room and gestured for Lance to look at his laptop with him while typing some things on the keyboard.
Lance couldn't really say no, since, what else was he supposed to do? He stood to the left of Hunk's chair and blinked at the laptop in silence, not understanding a single thing Hunk was doing. Pidge was on the other side of the chair, leaning her elbows on the desk while smiling at the screen.
"There! Look!" Hunk said enthusiastically, turning to Lance to see his expression.
"It's...a key?" Lance questioned. The laptop screen was undoubtedly showing what looked to be the diagram of a key with a bunch of grid lines and the such behind it, but Lance wasn't sure since it didn't really make much sense to him.
"Not just any key! It's a diagram of a master key! Its purpose is to open any lock in the world, and I'm gonna build it!"
Lance's eyes squinted a bit, not believing anything Hunk was saying. He just went along with it, though, as usual. "Oh. Cool. But...why?"
"To break into houses and rob stuff!" Pidge declared, smiling up at Lance with a mischievous glint in her eyes.
"No!" Hunk gasped, looking between them before setting his sights on Pidge scoldingly. "No robbing stuff! We aren't criminals, Pidge!" She rolled her eyes and blew up at her hair as Hunk turned back to Lance. "It's a project for one of my classes. I get to both design and build an authentic master key, but I enlisted Pidge for help because this stuff is really complicated."
"Oh...really?" Lance did his best to sound interested, and it must've worked, because Hunk's eyes lit up as he clasped his hands together in front of his chest.
"Yes, isn't it awesome! I mean, I've always thought the concept of master keys were super cool and awesome, but dangerous, too, you know? But the process has been a major headache because the insides of locks are really just sorta like puzzles, so the key has to be able to fit into every single puzzle, and then it has to be able to push every pin just the right way-"
"Hunk, he gets it. Or rather, he doesn't get it, so you're gonna bore him to death. We don't need to explain the specifics." Pidge interjected, adjusting her glasses just for that extra bit of sass as Hunk simmered down a bit, lowering his hands and smiling sheepishly at Lance.
"Oh. Sorry! I just got really excited, you know?" He laughed before turning back to work on the design on the screen. Pidge leaned forward to point some stuff out to Hunk, and he nodded in response, but to Lance it sounded like they were speaking in a different language.
He watched them work on the key's design for a bit before taking out his phone awkwardly. He wasn't really sure why he was still here since he couldn't contribute to Hunk's school project, and he hadn't even really been needed for cooking the pizza, either.
He tried to tune them out to focus on his phone so that he wouldn't be so uncomfortable when Pidge leaned away from Hunk to speak directly to him.
"So, what do you think of the concept of a master key, Lance? Other than just, 'they're cool'?"
Hunk also turned to give Lance his attention as well, and he suddenly felt put on the spot. He didn't really have any opinion on the subject, just like he didn't have much of an opinion on pizza toppings, because he never had a reason to have an opinion on this stuff. But now they were trying to get him to elaborate, and saying that he didn't know probably wouldn't satisfy them. While he didn't understand why they talked to him still, he didn't want to make them stop talking to him. He didn't really think he could call them or anybody a 'friend', but again, they were his distraction when he wasn't working, and he needed it to stay sane.
"I...I think it sounds impossible," he admitted, watching as Pidge and Hunk exchanged a look. "Or, difficult! Yeah, it sounds difficult!" He corrected himself anxiously, hoping that that answer would meet their expectations.
"It is difficult! But don't you worry, Pidge and I will figure it out and it'll be awesome, you'll see!" Hunk said, grinning with enthusiasm. Pidge nodded in agreement before she went back to talking through the design with Hunk, and Lance sighed, glad that he had managed to diffuse that stressful situation.
The concept still seemed impossible to him. Surely there was no such thing as a key that could open everything? That just sounded silly. After all, there were some things that just couldn't be opened no matter what.
Like me.
Lance blinked at himself in surprise, having not expected to go down that train of thought. It was true, though; he had to admit that.
He switched his phone's camera on so that he could stare at himself, tilting the device to either side to catch every angle of his dull eyes. He knew he was about as locked away as something could get, trapped in a tower of darkness where he could only watch others be happy, make others happy, while he was stuck where he was. It's not like he was complaining, though; he deserved this, after all. But, for just a moment, he wondered if maybe there was a key to his heart somewhere out there.
For just a moment, he hoped there was.
His phone suddenly vibrated twice, snapping him out of his reverie and indicating a new text message. He could see his cheeks turn a light shade of pink in his camera from the dumb, cheesy thoughts he had just been having before he swiped through his phone to his messages. To his surprise, it was a text from Keith.
'Hey, so what's your schedule like? Or, when should I show up tonight to see you?'
Lance took a deep breath, calming himself down from his earlier thoughts before responding. Keeping in contact with a customer was how he assured he made more money, after all.
'I'll take the main stage around 9 pm. Be there or be square, sweetie! ;D'
He didn't have to wait long at all for Keith's reply.
'Squares aren't so bad. I'll be there though!'
Lance couldn't help but giggle when he read Keith's text, hand moving up over his mouth. Normally he giggled all the time just to put on a cute face in public, but right now, he was genuinely laughing from the dorky response. He wondered if he should've expected that from Keith, but then again, he couldn't really know what to expect from him. The only time they spent together was when Keith was super drunk and thus acted very out of character, so there was no telling how things would go if they saw each other tonight. It didn't really matter what happened with Keith, though; as long as Lance got money, he was a happy worker, and as long as Keith got sexual relief, he would be a happy customer. That was how these things went.
He suddenly felt two pairs of eyes on him and looked up to see Hunk and Pidge smiling at him, having seemingly abandoned their work on Hunk's project. Self-consciousness settled into his stomach all at once as he realized he basically just giggled out of the blue and probably looked pretty weird now.
"Um...yes?" He asked, shuffling nervously under their gaze while stuffing his phone back into his pocket and mentally scolding himself.
They looked at each other with a knowing look in their eyes that Lance didn't understand before Hunk pushed his chair back away from the table.
"It's nothing. Say, why don't we check up on the pizza? Gotta make sure it's perfect, otherwise it'll ruin my record." Pidge nodded in agreement and backed up as Hunk stood to leave to the kitchen. "Come on, Lance!"
"Y-yeah," he said, sighing to clear his head before following. Before catching up with Pidge, though, he paused to take one last look at the master key diagram on the laptop screen. He couldn't help but snicker at himself, at how idiotic and delusional he had been earlier, even if it had just been for a moment.
A key to my heart, he thought, rolling his eyes. As if.
***~Keith~***
He could still remember it. The shape of his body pressed against the pole, the look in his blue eyes as he sat on Keith's lap, and the look of surprise when he had asked for his name, all of it was still fresh in Keith's memory...especially the part where Lance gave Keith his number. Unless he was just delusional, Keith was pretty sure the fact that he remembered last night meant he hadn't been drunk. Well, not completely drunk, since he did drink enough to say some very out of character things last night. It wasn't that he didn't like complimenting Lance, but being so direct wasn't normally his thing.
"Ow! Fuck!" Hearing Matt curse brought Keith's attention back to the world of the living, and he looked down at the strawberry-blonde boy who was kneeling by an outlet and tampering with it. "Keith, what the fuck? You're supposed to be grabbing the broken filaments for me."
Keith quickly remembered he was helping Matt replace an outlet and reached forward. "Oh, right. Sorry. You, uh...you good?"
"Yes, I'm fine, Keith." Matt scowled at him before focusing again, making a noise that fell somewhere in between a groan and a sigh. "It's great and all that you're finally not blowing up at every little thing for the first time all month like you're on your period or something, but now you're just out of it. What's up?"
Keith chewed his bottom lip as he watched Matt work on the outlet, mind drifting back to Lance. While he did remember all of those good things, the thing he remembered most was the guilt he felt and still felt over just using Lance to get off. He couldn't get it out of his head.
Honestly, if he wanted to talk to anybody about Lance, it probably made sense to talk to Matt, since he used to work at the Web of Sins and had been the one to suggest going there in the first place.
"I uh...was just thinking about someone-"
Matt immediately forgot everything he was doing and grabbed Keith's shoulders, eyes wide as he shook him. "What?! Who?! Oh my god, Shiro is gonna freak! Wait, he's at least cute, right? Where did you two meet?"
The flood of questions came spilling from Matt so quickly that Keith didn't even have a chance to comprehend all of it, nonetheless answer all of it, so he just latched onto the last one.
"We met at the Web of Sins, actua-"
"The what?!" Matt shook Keith more until he felt like he was being electrocuted, which was totally possible since they were fumbling with an outlet. "Dude, who? Why? What?"
"Stop it!" Keith wiggled away from Matt's dangerous hands and sighed, letting his knees crumble beneath him so that he was straight up sitting on the floor, trying to decide how to go about this. "...do you know the stripper with the stage name, 'BabyBlue'?"
"WHAT?!" Keith winced at Matt's loud voice, leaning away when he scooted forward to grab Keith again. "You mean Lance?!"
"Stop screaming!" Keith blew up, pushing Matt's hands off of him. It was the engineer's turn to wince and shrink back a bit at Keith's loud voice, gulping apologetically.
"Oops. Aww, and you were doing so well with keeping a check on your temper..."
Keith gave him a glare of 'who's fault do you think this is' before sighing and crossing his arms, only continuing to talk to Matt because he knew Lance. "So then...you do know Lance?"
Matt crossed his legs in a very Shiro-like fashion, rocking back and forth a little. "Hm, yeah, I guess you could say I know him. Or at least, I knew him, sort of, back when I worked at the Web with him. We weren't really close or anything. Although, he did start talking to me more during my last few months working there. He met my sister Katie through me, and they seemed to connect a lot better."
Keith took in this information, not really sure why he was so interested. His mind went back to Lance giving him his number, and he felt his heart pick up in excitement.
"So...Lance, uh...he gave me his number. Do you know why he might do something like that? Do you think he likes me or something? He said he wanted to stay in contact. Why would he want to stay in contact? Does he want to see me again?" Keith rambled off all of his questions before turning to look at Matt expectantly.
"...uh..." Matt rested his hands on his propped out knees, raising an eyebrow at Keith. "Sorry to burst your bubble, man, but, I think he was just exercising stripper etiquette."
Keith's face fell, lips pursing together in confusion. "...'stripper etiquette'? What do you mean?" He was genuinely trying to understand why Lance had given him his number, so it didn't really help when Matt suddenly started laughing at him.
"Oh, man! Wow, you must've been such an easy customer for Lance! Well, even easier than the usual customer. I bet he played you like a fiddle!"
Keith crossed his arms with an extra amount of attitude, eye twitching in annoyance as he watched Matt.
"Most people can't even play fiddles, so I don't know why that expression even exists. And...he didn't play me." Keith spoke slowly, since really, hadn't he been the one to play Lance? Or, at the very least, the one to use him?
Keith's guilt had only grown after sleeping on it, and he just wanted the answers to his questions, but Matt fucking Holt was still just laughing and it was ticking Keith off.
"Would you just answer already?!" He snapped, slamming his fists down onto his knees and cutting off Matt's laughing, leaving the man frozen in a leaning position with his hands around his torso. He blinked in silence for a while before Keith grumbled, reminding him to answer.
"Okay, okay. Hm, I really guess I should be used to you yelling by now..."
"Matt!"
"Oh, right! Okay, what was your question again? Him giving you his number? That's just a strategy used by strippers to keep in contact with their customers, as customers. The idea is that, if someone enjoys you enough, they're sure to come again, and if you text them beforehand, you get them to come specifically to you and get all of their juicy money." Matt closed his eyes with a blissful face for a second, geeking out over the mention of money like the greedy miser he was. "Well, in conclusion, no - you aren't special. You're just a super easy customer."
Keith's brows furrowed in disappointment as he looked to the ground. "Oh." He hadn't meant to sound so neglected, but he couldn't help it as he sighed.
Matt took notice of the change in his voice and leaned his head down, trying to catch Keith's gaze. "Aww, Keith, don't make that face. Shiro will freak out at me if he finds out I made you sad."
"I'm not sad!" Keith shouted, his immediate reaction being to snap. "And Shiro wouldn't freak out at you; you two are dating."
Matt huffed out a puff of air, which ended up blowing onto Keith. He looked back up at him, which was what Matt wanted - only Keith was very annoyed.
"Ah! Sorry, didn't mean to blow air onto you." Matt apologized quickly before clearing his throat. "You know, Keith, I don't think you would want to have anything 'special' with a stripper anyways - especially from the Web. And especially not Lance."
Keith raised an eyebrow at that, observing Matt's face to try and decipher what he meant. "...what do you mean? Why 'especially not Lance'?" He was almost afraid to know the answer as Matt's lips curled in an awkward smile.
"Eh, maybe that was insensitive of me to say, since he's Katie's friend." He laughed a bit at himself. "Well, what I was trying to say was, it'd be difficult to date a stripper from the Web. They're always doing things with other men, usually borderline prostitution, and I just don't think that's a relationship you'd want to deal with."
Keith frowned. "Well what about you? You and Shiro had a relationship while you worked there as a stripper, didn't you?"
"Yeah, you're technically correct, but that was only for a little bit. After we met, Shiro quickly discovered my mechanic skills and found a new job for me, and I didn't have to use my body to make that sweet, sweet money anymore." Matt looked off into the distance with a smile on his face, and Keith could tell he was reminiscing his first days with Shiro. It was sweet and all, but he still had questions, so he interjected. Matt could daydream some other time.
"Hey, rude, don't just drift off on me, man."
"Huh? Oh, sorry!" Matt's face reddened as he bowed his head a bit in apology. "I, uh, where was I? Lance, right? Right! Well, like I said, the men at the Web are gonna be with a ton of men all the time, and that's multiplied even more so when talking about Lance. I don't know if you're aware of this, but Lance is the most popular stripper at the Web. That means he's constantly getting a lot of sexual attention, not to mention all the money..." Matt mumbled that last part, and Keith suddenly began to see why Matt and Lance might've not spoken much. It hadn't even crossed his mind that Lance was someone of that standing, but thinking back, it did make sense. After all, everyone in the club had rushed to see his performance.
A cough from Matt brought Keith's attention back to him. "As I was saying, Lance is a dick magnet, and as a former stripper, I am saying this in the most complimenting way possible, I promise. It isn't like he's a bad person or anything, I'm just giving you this as relationship advice. You shouldn't date a stripper. Like, you specifically."
Keith was actually about to give Matt his thanks for giving him advice, but that last part made him stop and do a double take. "Wait, what do you mean 'me specifically'?!"
Matt shrunk back at his sudden shout. "Well, I'm just saying that you, uh..." He gulped nervously as Keith glared at him. "...I'm just saying that you strike me as the type who...wants a very committed relationship! And seeing your man touch other men would be hard on you - oh my god, not that kind of hard, I'm not saying you would enjoy watching other men touch your boyfriend!"
"That literally didn't even cross my mind, Matt, you fucking pervert-"
"We'll change it to difficult! A committed relationship with a stripper would be difficult for someone like you, who looks for commitment!" Matt completely ignored Keith in order to try and salvage the situation that he had made up in his own head.
Keith narrowed his eyes, wishing Matt would just come out and say that he didn't think Keith could manage a relationship with a stripper because he was a temper-freak and would blow up upon seeing another man touch his man. That...that wasn't true. He could do it...he could be better than that...he could support his boyfriend no matter what, even if he was a stripper...
But really, he shouldn't even have to think about any of this since Lance wasn't his boyfriend or anything close to that. Lance was just a stripper...that he was interested in. That was all, and surely that much was okay.
"Matt, calm down. I'm not looking for anything with Lance, nor did I ever even say I was, you just assumed that after I said I met him and was thinking about him."
Matt crossed his arms sassily. "Oh, well excuse me for assuming you were interested in somebody who you were thinking about enough to forget your own existence."
"I didn't forget my own existence!" Keith argued, face heating up for some reason. "I just...look, I was thinking about him, and I am interested in him, but not in that way. I just...I just feel a little guilty, I guess, about using him to get off. You said he was the Web's most popular stripper?"
Matt eyed him suspiciously before sighing, shoulders slumping backwards dramatically. "Yes, Keith, that's what I said. Thanks for letting me know you were listening. He's the Web's best and most popular stripper, and it's been that way ever since he dropped out of school to work there."
Keith's eyes widened upon hearing that bombshell drop, immediately placing both of his hands on Matt's shoulders and looking him straight in the eyes. "What do you mean he 'dropped out of school to work there'?"
The sudden demand left Matt jumping in surprise, but Keith was determined to know more and held the older boy firmly in place. "I, uh...don't know? I mean, I only ever talked to him a little. I know he dropped out of school because he mentioned it at one point or something, and it was like the only quality I had to remember him by other than him being the most popular stripper...not to mention his crazy psycho ex, and I think Katie once mentioned he had family issues? But I - ah!" Matt shouted mid-sentence as Keith shook him lightly, leaning in closer with intrigued and serious eyes.
"What? Wait, hold on, this is a ton of information to take in at once. You're telling me he had a psycho ex?"
Matt visibly froze up at this, eyes widening as if he had said something he regretted. Keith shook him some more, hoping to probe more answers out of him.
"Ah! Hey! I don't know, okay? Just forget it! I mean, I don't even know Lance, so, I don't know what I'm saying!"
They stared each other down for a bit before Keith sighed and accepted that answer, gripping Matt's shoulders harder. "Okay, that's fair, I guess. But what about his family issues?"
"I said that I just heard that from Katie, remember? For all I know it was just a prank, which is very possible knowing Katie..."
Keith shook him more. "Okay, but what did you hear? What did she say?"
"Oh my god, dude, I don't know!" Matt grabbed Keith's hands and lifted them away from his shoulders, scooting away to focus back on the forgotten outlet. "Look, I may have worked alongside Lance for a while, but I do not know all the nitty gritty details about his personal life and why he ended up working there. If you're that into him, why don't you just go ask him yourself?"
With the way Matt said it, Keith assumed it was supposed to be sarcasm, but the thought of talking to Lance about this stuff was certainly appealing. Keith did already text Lance that morning, after all, and last night, he had told himself he would go again, since he still needed to make it up to him for using him...
Matt's phone suddenly rang, briefly bringing Keith out of his thoughts as he watched. "Hello? Shiro? Oh my god, you couldn't have called me at a better time!" Matt exclaimed, eyes lighting up with joy before side-eyeing Keith. "Yeah, so, Kashi, your 'little bro' won't fucking leave me alone, maybe try to control him? Have you thought about using a leash? Wait, actually, no trying a leash on him until we try out that kink first!" Keith's nose wrinkled in disgust as Matt laughed, probably from some comedic response Shiro had given him. Still, he had to admit it was cute seeing the two of them as a close couple. It sort of made Keith long for something like it. Just sort of. He didn't have time for a relationship, though, since he was focused on studying to become a pediatrician.
"You're a godsend. I'll be right there. Love you!" Matt hung up and stared at his phone screen adoringly for a second or two before standing up and walking past Keith. "Shiro gave me an excuse to leave you so you could stop pestering me, so I'm off."
Keith scowled, arms crossing as he also stood up. "You could at least use the excuse instead of saying you were given one."
Matt shrugged in indifference, head turning to look over his left shoulder with a grin. "Whatevs, your break would've been up in five minutes anyways, I guess. Still, that's five minutes too much for me. You know, you can be a lot to handle, yeesh. I'm gonna go warm up in my Takashi's arms now. Bye bye, weirdo!" He waved and turned to leave, but stopped himself for a second time.
"Oh...and, Keith? Don't feel guilty. Lance was literally just doing his job, so, yeah."
Keith looked down with uncertainty as Matt disappeared out the door, leaving him to his thoughts.
He knew it might've been foolish to feel guilty, but he couldn't help it. Even if it was Lance's job to do stuff with other men, that didn't mean Keith could use that as an excuse to use him. It wasn't okay for him to do it just because other men did it.
That said, he did want to see Lance again - that much was certain. He couldn't get his mind off of him, whether it be due to Lance's body or Keith's guilt.
He made up his mind, taking out his phone and texting Lance.
'Hey, so what's your schedule like? Or, when should I show up tonight to see you?'
He took a deep breath, leaning against the wall for support. No going back now. He was all in.
His phone buzzed rather quickly, alerting him of a text.
'I'll take the main stage around 9 pm. Be there or be square, sweetie! ;D'
Well, he hadn't had to wait long at all for Lance's reply. That was a good sign - although Lance was most likely just acting on stripper etiquette or whatever. That didn't stop him from being cute, though.
Wanting to make sure he matched Lance's texting speed, Keith replied back with whatever came to his head first.
'Squares aren't so bad. I'll be there though!'
Like any sane person, Keith immediately regretted his entire life after sending that. Like...what the actual fuck? 'Squares aren't so bad'? He was cringing at himself so badly that he actually sunk down to the floor against the wall, wanting to beat himself with a baseball bat when Lance didn't reply. Why was he so bad with people?
...he just hoped Lance didn't run away from him when he went to see him tonight, now. Because he was going to go see him. And honestly...he was a little excited for it.
***
Keith arrived at the Web at 9 pm sharp, for some reason feeling the need to be as punctual as possible. The bouncer checked him in quickly, only asking for the night entrance fee since he recognized Keith from the night before.
It made him slightly uncomfortable that the bouncer remembered him, since he didn't exactly want to be remembered as a regular customer to a strip club, but that probably wasn't something he would have to worry about. After all, he wasn't planning on making this a regular thing. He just wanted to see Lance again, not for sexual reasons, but just to talk to him and make it up to him for last time.
Speaking of Lance, he could already see the slender man trekking across the stage as the lights in the club went blue. Keith quickly realized he hadn't been nearly punctual enough as he stared at the massive crowd hugging the stage, cheering for the most popular stripper.
Shit. Of course he should've arrived at least a few minutes beforehand if he wanted a decent view, but he just really disliked the idea of hanging around a strip club for no reason, so he had waited until the exact time.
The music was already starting, this time a poppier, more upbeat song, and while Keith could still see Lance moving his body up against the pole, he could barely make out his smile from where he was standing. That was a problem. Keith wanted to see Lance's smile and maybe even get his attention, so he started pushing his way through the crowd just like he had the night before.
For whatever reason, it seemed much harder to convince the men to move aside for him than it had been last time, so he settled on a somewhat nearby spot where he could make out Lance's same sweet smile that he always wore and watched as he held onto the pole while dancing around it several feet from the ground.
Lance's body movements were as mesmerizing as ever as he did a splits in midair while rolling his body forward. He was the perfect mix of athleticism and sexiness, and even though Keith didn't plan to come here to ogle at him, that was exactly what he was doing right now as Lance twirled around the pole with his legs constantly moving and showing off their slender muscle.
He wasn't sure what it was about the way Lance moved, but for some reason, it felt like he was dancing just for Keith...again. He wondered if every man in the crowd felt like that - if Lance's dancing just had that effect on everybody who laid eyes on him. He wouldn't be surprised if that were the case - Lance was incredible, and there were few other words Keith could think of to describe his dancing.
He was so wrapped up in watching Lance twist and pull himself around the pole that it took him a while to realize that he wasn't wearing his blue attire, but rather, a set of lacier black lingerie pieces. Keith thought he was beautiful no matter what he was wearing, though; appreciating the dance while trying to calm the exciting thought of getting to talk to him afterwards.
Since the song was more upbeat than the one from yesterday, Lance was able to show off his ability to move around quickly, his legs spreading apart and then twisting him around the pole before holding him upside down all within the span of several seconds. Saying Keith was impressed would be an understatement, and he practically just stared with his mouth parted slightly throughout the entire performance.
The dance seemed to come to an end as quickly as it had begun, and the loud cheering from all around Keith drowned out his senses as he winced and ducked through the crowd. He still wasn't ready to say pole dancing was something he was a big fan of, since he was only watching to support Lance, but he couldn't deny that it was definitely more of a talent than he had thought.
"Thank you so much! You're so sweet!" Keith perked up at the sound of Lance's voice, not even sure how he managed to hear it as he watched Lance accepting money from the men at the front of the stage.
Since the dance was over, Keith figured he would find a seat at the bar counter while waiting for Lance. He knew that he would eventually start roaming the club looking for customers, so Keith would call him over when he saw him.
"Hey," Keith greeted the mustached bartender, somehow remembering that Lance had called him by 'Coran'.
Coran gave Keith an optimistic smile, always incredibly cheery for a man working in a strip club. "What's this? Back again? Might I interest you in a drink? The same as yesterday, perhaps?"
Dread settled into Keith's stomach, and he gave a curt nod so that he could wallow in his own regret and despair. Why did all of these people have to remember him so well? Seriously, he did not want to be known as a regular customer here.
"Hey there, cutie." Keith snapped out of his thoughts and quickly turned to look at Lance. To his surprise, however, the man standing before him was a different stripper - one who lacked the honey-sweet smile that Lance usually wore. "So, how has your night been?"
Keith gulped, having not expected this turn of events as the man sat down next to him and made an effort to show off his ass in his striped panties.
"It's, uh...it's been going pretty alright," Keith said awkwardly, watching as the man shifted again in his seat to show off his crotch. Man, he was really trying to sell his junk, wasn't he? It was so different from Lance, who, upon first meeting Keith, had approached him with his fun-loving personality as opposed to showing off his body.
"That's good! I'll admit, personally, the night's been pretty boring for me." The stripper leaned against the counter, smiling at Keith in a totally suggestive way and just staring, like he was waiting for Keith to say something.
"...I see." Keith was only replying for the sake of not wanting to come across as rude, unsure of what was acceptable to say to a stripper and what wasn't. He seriously needed to look into strip club etiquette more...but, not really, because it wasn't like he was planning on coming back here or anything.
When it became clear Keith wasn't going to say anything more, the stripper tried leaning towards him. "Maybe you can make it more entertaining for me?"
If Keith had been awkward before, now he was just uncomfortable. This man was literally trying to get Keith to let him touch him for money, and while Keith understood that strippers needed money, too, he wasn't the type of guy who fancied that type of thing. That was why he came back here in the first place, to make it up to Lance for using him.
"Um..."
"Here you are!" To his relief, Coran broke the tension as he set a drink down in front of Keith with a wink. "Now pay up!"
Keith attempted to take the distraction, but the stripper was determined to stay relevant and pulled out some money from his panties.
"Here, why don't I pay for your drink, mister?"
"What?" Keith looked up in shock, wondering if this man was seriously that desperate to get Keith's attention. Why on Earth would he let him pay for his drink? "No, I..." He didn't even decide to finish his sentence as he took out his own money and quickly passed it forward to Coran before taking his drink. Honestly, this was too much for him. Strip clubs really just weren't his type of thing.
He hoped that the stripper would at least leave him alone after that rejection, but they seemed incredibly persistent to the point where it was sort of creepy.
"I'll take a drink, too, then! After all, drinks are always more fun together, and I wouldn't want to leave you here all by yourself."
"He isn't by himself." Keith turned to see Lance smirking at the two of them, hand resting on his hip with attitude. "He's with me." A heavy wave of relief rushed through Keith as the other man looked between them.
"Yeah. I was waiting for him." Keith confirmed.
The stripper's face wrinkled a bit as he cast Lance a disdainful look that stood out to Keith. Then, without even a word of departure, he got up and left, leaving just the two of them.
Lance took his place next to Keith, smile as wide as ever as he acted like none of that had just happened. "So, did you watch my performance? How was I?"
They weren't even particularly close or anything, but for whatever reason, Keith's heart was bursting with joy at getting to talk to Lance again as he reflected his smile.
"Is that even a question? You were amazing!"
Lance giggled at his response, and Keith couldn't help but blush in self-conscious embarrassment. He wasn't even mildly drunk this time, yet he was still just complimenting Lance.
"Aw, thanks! I guess it helps to have a body like mine, don't you think?" Lance shifted in his seat, putting his elbows on the counter so that he could display his lean body for Keith.
A wave of red crept up Keith's face, and he quickly brought his drink to his lips to hide his blush. The problem wasn't that Lance was pretty much naked, since everybody in this strip club was pretty much naked - the problem was that Lance's body was super sexy and his face was super pretty, and Keith had already received a blowjob from him before so now he couldn't help but notice all of Lance's attractive features.
"Yeah...I guess." Keith laughed nervously, averting his eyes away from Lance's body and clearing his throat to change the subject. "So...about that other stripper. What was that about?"
Lance chuckled, amused by his reaction. "What do you mean 'what was that about'? What were you expecting? Of course others are going to come talk to you if you sit at the bar looking all lonely like that! Especially since you're very good looking." He leaned closer, making Keith's heart rate increase rapidly. "But you're my customer."
Those words sent fireworks off inside of Keith, for some reason enjoying the thought of being 'Lance's customer' much more than he probably should have. However, that hadn't been what he meant when he asked about the other stripper.
"No, I meant...they gave sort of a weird look before they left?" He explained, taking another sip of his drink.
Lance's face dropped for a brief second, but as usual, he immediately recovered with his classic smile. "Oh, that. He was probably just mad that I was 'stealing' his customer. Little did he know that you were always mine." He winked at Keith, succeeding in getting his face to flush even more, before peeking at his empty cup. "Looks like you're all done. Want me to buy you another drink?" Lance reached into his thong, but Keith immediately threw his hands up in front of him in alarm.
"W-what? No! You don't need to do that!"
Lance raised an eyebrow at his reaction before giggling and gently shoving Keith's arm - a gesture that basically fried Keith's systems. "You're...so cute!" He laughed, hand in front of his mouth, and god, Keith was sure his face must've looked like one giant tomato. Good thing the lights overhead would help cancel out his blushing that just kept growing as he listened to Lance laugh. "It's pretty normal to buy drinks for our customers, you don't have to think anything of it! Honestly, always such a newbie."
Keith just blushed more upon being called a newbie, getting embarrassed rather than offended. Were they comfortable enough with each other to be making sarcastic insults like that now?
...were they comfortable enough with each other for Keith to ask Lance the questions he'd been asking Matt?
Sure, his main reason for coming here had been to see Lance again and to just spend time with him as a way to make up for using him last night, but at the same time, he really did want to know more about him. It was just as he had told Matt - he was interested in Lance.
"So...I was wondering a couple of things," Keith started slowly, not wanting to scare Lance off. He didn't need all the small personal details that he had been asking Matt; he was just interested in why Lance had chosen to work here.
Lance raised an eyebrow, resting his chin in his hands. "Oh? Like what? Wondering if I'd like to go further than I did last night?" He scooted forward flirtatiously, making Keith's face heat up.
"N-no! I just, uh...wanted to ask you something?"
Lance paused, observing Keith's flustered face for a good while before giving him some space. "Ask away!"
Keith took a moment to calm himself, silently cursing Lance for being able to get him so flustered so easily. "I was just wondering what it was like working here? For you, I mean."
He wasn't sure how far it was okay to push, but Lance didn't seem to have a problem with his question as he just smiled and shrugged. "I'd say it's different for everyone who works here. Personally, I like what I do. I get to show my stuff off and do things I'm good at for money. And, you know, I don't mean to brag, but being as popular as I am really has its perks."
Keith nodded along to what Lance said, although on the inside he was a bit doubtful. He just couldn't relate to wanting to show off his body for money, nonetheless let others touch him for it.
"I guess...I mean, you are a good dancer, that's for sure." Keith grinned, awkwardly complimenting Lance again without even realizing it.
Lance batted his eyelashes appreciatively. "Aw, thanks! I enjoy dancing and being able to provide relief to others. I'm an entertainer, you know? It's what I do. And this place, the Web of Sins I mean, it's the perfect club for me. It lacks morals, just like me." He winked at Keith, clearly intending to be seductive, but Keith just found his last statement repulsive, a small frown carving its way onto his face.
Hearing Lance talk about providing relief to others made Keith think back to the other night when Lance had said he was used to people using him, and he felt the same feeling of pity and sorrow in his chest from then, like he was watching an animal that had lost its ability to walk.
He wanted to say something, to maybe ask Lance what he enjoyed about working here, but any semblance of a meaningful conversation was cut short as a pair of giggling drunk men stumbled to the counter just left of him and Lance, making far too much noise as they called Coran over. And as if that wasn't bad enough for the mood Keith was trying to set, the song broadcasting in the club changed suddenly from pop music to rock.
The Web of Sins was generally a much nicer looking place than Keith would expect from a strip club, but that didn't change the fact that it was still occupied by men looking to have sex for money. The place could've been lined in fancy red linen with draping ribbons adorning the walls and Keith still would've felt uncomfortable being here.
He sighed, looking down at his empty cup. "It would be a lot easier if we could just talk outside of this place..." Keith muttered to himself, trying not to look over at the borderline naked men sitting next to them.
He hadn't expect Lance to hear him, and definitely hadn't expected him to lean forward with a twinkle in his eyes. "Outside of this place, did you say? Is that an invitation?"
Keith felt his heart leap into his throat as he turned to look at Lance's grinning face in surprise, not quite sure how to answer. It hadn't exactly been an invitation on his end, but...it sounded like Lance was inviting him now. Was he just imagining it? Was he misinterpreting his words?
"Well? Were you inviting me out of here? Because that sounds real fun to me." Lance giggled, looking at Keith expectantly.
Okay, so he was asking Keith out.
Keith's face was heating up in disbelief and embarrassment, still processing the situation. He couldn't believe that Lance was the one offering for him to take him out, since his impression of the dancer had been that he wasn't all that interested in the more vanilla stuff. But alas, here he was, offering to go out with Keith somewhere.
Lance was still just watching him patiently, and Keith realized he was taking too long to answer. "Oh! Uh...I mean, yeah! That sounds awesome!" He said clumsily, a wide smile spreading on his face. The other uncomfortably drunk men next to them didn't even matter to Keith now as he accepted, confirming their 'date'.
"Alright, then," Lance said seductively. "But since you're new to all this stuff, I might as well warn you, it isn't cheap to take me out. It'll be about worth the same as the champagne room visit, only we'll be having more fun."
Keith rose an eyebrow at that. Worth the same as the champagne room visit? Lance must've been expecting Keith to take him somewhere good. He made a mental note to ask Shiro for advice on good restaurants when he got home.
Speaking of home, now that he had confirmed a 'date' with Lance and had a better way to make it up to him now, Keith figured it was time he left. He'd rather not stay in a strip club and allow more people to remember him. "I'm glad we could talk like this. Uh...what time? And should I come get you, or..."
Lance giggled lightly. "I don't think I'm supposed to be the one scheduling this stuff. I don't do this type of thing regularly, but I can get off work around 11 if you'd like that."
Keith's heart was beating faster at hearing Lance say this wasn't a regular thing. So then...he was giving Keith special treatment or something? The thought made him happy, for some reason, and even though 11 was a little late for a date, he would take it.
"Sure! Yes, that works. Awesome." He agreed, smiling. His smile faltered when the men next to them began to make out loudly, making their presence known to him once again. The sight made him want to leave even faster. "It's been a pleasure talking to you, Lance. I'll see you tomorrow?"
Lance blinked in surprise at him. "Leaving so soon? But we haven't even gotten to do anything yet." He smiled seductively and began moving forward.
Keith gulped and took a deep breath before standing up. Even though he hated the thought of just using someone, Lance was so cute and hot and tempting that it drove Keith crazy. "I really should get going. We'll see each other tomorrow, after all, right?" He grinned, not wanting to be rude, especially not to Lance.
Lance looked him over for a second before returning his grin and winking at him. "Alright. See you tomorrow for some fun, cutie."
A blush crept up Keith's face - something that seemed to happen often when he was with Lance. "Right. Tomorrow."
He turned to leave the Web, still in disbelief over what just happened. He definitely hadn't come here thinking he'd be going on a date with Lance, and definitely hadn't expected for Lance to be the one to ask.
Matt's warnings of being with a stripper briefly echoed in his head, but he ignored it. After all, it wasn't like this was anything official. He was just going to go out somewhere with Lance. This was just him making up for using Lance last night - that was why he accepted the invitation to take him out.
This didn't mean anything. This wouldn't lead to anything.
Surely, there was no harm in just getting to know Lance a little.
***
DID YOU KNOW THE WEB OF SINS ACTUALLY EXISTS?
That's right! Go to my profile, and there, you'll find the url link! You can ask me questions regarding this fanfic or about anything in general, and I would love to interact with all of you! Furthermore, if you follow me, you'll get regular teasers for the next chapter of this fic! Be like Keith and check it out!
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