It's been a week since Remus' danger night. He's doing much better, the fresh scars on his arm are almost invisible thanks to Madam Pomfrey's care and attention to detail. At this point, he thinks of her as almost a second - third? - mother, knowing he can trust her with anything.

However, Sirius has still been avoiding him like the plague all week. James and Sirius are practically glued at the hip, and consequently, Peter follows them around, so Remus is left to spend time with Lily and the girls.

Remus and Lily have gotten quite a bit closer since the beginning of last year, as they began studying together. Now, they have an incredibly close relationship, and Remus being avoided by Sirius has gotten them to spend even more time together.

He discovers that despite Lily's incredibly intense study habits, she's very good at multitasking. She manages to keep at the top of the class and stay on top of all the drama and gossip throughout the school and provide moral support for Mary and Marlene and her other friends. And, on top of all of that, she's incredibly perceptive.

So, Tuesday morning, she catches Remus alone in the library, sitting under his usual window. The sun is still low in the sky, as it's early, so it shines nicely through the window, illuminating the back corner of the library.

"Hello, Remus!" Lily chirps cheerfully, setting her books down on the table and pulling a chair up to sit across from him.

"Good morning Lils!" Remus responds. They have almost a brother-sister type of relationship, so nicknames and saying good morning are not uncommon. Of course, she was first to know that he's gay, right after the Potters and the Marauders, so she knows that anything he says to her is purely platonic. They've taken up the habit of saying 'love you' to each other in conversation, and Remus finds that he quite likes having someone to love.

"You and the Marauders have been avoiding each other." Well, Lily Evans never was one to beat around the bush.

"How incredibly perceptive of you. What gave it away?" Remus responds drily, not glancing up from his book.

Lily gives a little 'hmph'. "What's going on between the four of you? Ordinarily, I would try to be a bit nicer about it, even stay out of your business, but a certain James Potter has confronted me twice now about why you're spending more time with us than them. Both times, he didn't make any attempt to flirt or woo me, so I'm incredibly concerned."

"James? Not flirting or wooing? Oh no, it seems almost like you miss it..." Remus tries to derail the current line of conversation by teasing her. She's not having any of it.

"Remus. Spill."

Remus sighs. "I don't know what there is to talk about. Sirius and I had... I don't know, I feel like our friendship got even stronger the first night of term because I helped him through a tough spot. And the day after, he began avoiding me. That, on top of stress and other things... well..."

He pauses before slowly rolling up his sleeve to show Lily the new silvery scars. He's always been incredibly comfortable talking about his mental health with her, and she's one of the only people that know his history.

"Oh, Remus..."

"I had a danger night. James helped me through it, he always does, but Sirius saw. I honestly don't remember what happened but I'm pretty sure he tried to touch me and I flinched away. Of course, not intentionally, but I was fragile and... I don't know."

"I'm so sorry, love."

"Yeah... so Sirius has been avoiding me, more than he was before since I flinched away from him that night. And James and Peter are obviously sticking with Sirius, not me, so...

"Anyway, I don't want to confront him about it yet, I don't have the energy for that. Easier to be avoided, I suppose. Plus, it means I get to spend time with you and the girls, and I love you all to death."

Remus shrugs and lets Lily speak again.

"Why do you keep saying friendship?"

"Pardon?"

"Every time you describe your relationship with Sirius, you say friendship. Our 'friendship' is strengthening, or our 'friendship' grows, why do you do that?"

Remus blinks. Why does he say he's friends with Sirius? Because he is? Or, was...

"I don't- I don't quite get what you're saying Lils. I mean, sure, at this point, I suppose we're not friends anymore, but I don't know what else you want me to say..."

Lily raises her eyebrows incredulously and then bursts out laughing. "Never mind, love, never mind."

Remus furrows his brown, then shakes his head and begins to pack his bag.

"Well, sorry that James is bothering you about it. Just tell him off next time he asks, that if he wants to know he should come directly to me. I've got to get to class, but it's always lovely talking with you, you strange woman," he teases before wandering out of the library.

Lily shakes her head, mumbling, "He's so incredibly blind," before packing her things and leaving as well.

✴︎✴︎✴︎

Remus manages to go three more days with Sirius avoiding him before it gets to be too much. So on Friday morning, he leaves a note on Sirius' pillow to meet him out on the grounds after their last class of the day.

Friday goes by without too much incident. He gets through his classes and isn't nervous at all for the impending meeting this afternoon, despite the fact that Sirius obviously is. They share almost every class, and Remus can tell that the nerves are getting to him.

Charms is their last class of the day, and it ends earlier than normal, so Remus takes his time strolling out to the grounds. He spots Sirius easily, his mop of wavy black hair flowing easily in the gentle afternoon wind.

Remus takes a deep breath and approaches him.

"Sirius. No, me first. Listen. I don't know what's up with you. I thought you were finally starting to trust me almost as much as you trust James, which is something I would love. And we had a great night, fun in the kitchens and... and I don't know what was up with us sharing a bed. It was nice, but not something I'm gonna repeat if you're gonna bloody act this." Remus takes a breath, his heart pounding. Where the bloody hell had that bit about the cuddling come from? He needs to get his head in the game.

"You don't get to shut me out as soon as we start to get close, especially after seeing me weak like you did. I don't appreciate that. I've only recently gotten more confident in myself and you treating me like this certainly isn't helping that.

"I'm really glad our friendship started to strengthen that night, so if you're willing to apologize and sort out a good enough excuse for whatever you've been doing recently, then we can work back to that. But you're really messing me up, Sirius. I thought we were better than this." There it is again. "We". Remus blinks himself back into reality.

Sirius' previously anxious expression fell at some point during Remus' little rant. He just looks at him for a few moments, seeming so hurt and wrecked.

"Friendship?"

"...pardon?" Remus furrows his brows. All that and all he can say is 'friendship'?

"You said... you said our friendship was strengthening. Is that really what that was to you?"

Again with this emphasis on 'friendship'. What could Sirius and Lily see that Remus was blind to?

"Sirius, bloody get to the point. I don't know what you lot mean by friendship, what else do you want me to call it?"

Sirius sighs sadly. "You don't see it, do you? You haven't seen it at all. And here I thought you were trying to tell me..." He sakes his head before continuing. "That night that we passed on the stairs, when you were crying and... well, James told me afterward that you had another danger night. If I had just been a few minutes faster, maybe it wouldn't have happened...

"I had been walking up to the dorms to find you and talk to you. I wanted to apologize for avoiding you all that week and explain why. I wanted to... to tell you...

"But no, I suppose that would make me look silly now. You're an absolutely blind dumbass, my Moony, but nothing I can do about that now." He stayed standing there, in front of Remus, looking for all the world like there were a billion more things he wanted to say. But instead, when his lips parted again, there was only one thing that came out.

"We can't be friends anymore Moony." And his world crashed down on him like the sky had fallen. But Sirius continues. "It's too... It's too hard for me. If you knew why... well, I supposed I'm glad you don't. But seeing you, being around you, hearing your laugh, and seeing your smile and... and being in your arms... I can't do that. I can't."

Remus was terribly confused and it all wasn't adding up, and all he could think about was that he was losing a friend and he didn't know why, or how to get him back. Sure, he had sort of known that Sirius was pulling away, but everything was happening so fast and he couldn't imagine life without Sirius and...

"Wait, what?"

"Remus, please don't make this harder than this already is..."

"Padfoot, I don't understand, I don't- why are you- why-"

"Just stop. Please? Don't drag this out. Goodbye Remus."

And Sirius walked away.

Remus made his way back up to the castle, not quite understanding what just happened. But before he even realized it, tears were sliding softly down his scarred cheeks, and the only thought in his mind was 'get to Lily before another Danger Night happens.'