I looked ahead as the trees thinned out. I stopped and took my flask out to drink, trying to dispel the buzzing in my ears. The cliff was just ahead, right where the path ended and the sunlight reflected off the pink and purple flowers, worsening my headache. Drustan pushed past me, his back was slouched, as he panted noticeably. However, his green eyes held the glint of a suppressed smile, indicating that his tiredness was largely mimicked, to jab at my pride. I stuck my tongue out before putting away the half-empty container and going after my brother. After all, we had come here on a mission. We didn’t have time for games.

The view cleared up as I stepped into the sunlight. The ledge looked to a valley separating the foothills from the mountain range. The steep slope was mostly still green with grasses and other plants that could be useful. However, the magical energies collected in the valley were too strong for any human to handle safely. My brother and I were different but even we didn’t have the climbing gear and abilities.

"Imagine falling from here." Drustan looked over the slightly rocky edge.

"Come on. You know we'd be alright." I shifted back towards the trees.

"We may be alright."

"Do you have such little trust in me?"

"I have that little trust in your power." Drustan knelt to carefully cut the stems of several flowers. “I don’t like the odds of you being able to heal me. Or survive.” He added with concern coloring his voice.

I sighed and joined my brother. To my great dismay, he was right. I was already dizzy up here. I didn’t want to imagine the pain I’d go through had I attempted the climb, so I didn’t say anything. We quickly gathered a basket of the Quartz flowers, leaving enough to grow back for later use. This was the only patch in a still bearable environment, and with the war closing in I had a feeling we’d need as much as we can have.

"Come on. Mom needs these." Drustan started walking back the way we came. His face darkened with worry, making him look a lot like our father.

The mountain wasn’t as steep as the rest of its brothers, but it still took about half a day to get up and down. The path we’ve created over the years was the easiest route, but it still involved climbs, and detours. There was no easier way, and the road the Amladan people made went through magical patches we couldn’t handle. I’ve met a few of their merchants once, coming from the other side of the mountain range. They traded with us on occasion, but they didn’t usually leave their borders. They were an open minded people but their country wasn’t too welcoming with the magical conditions. How they’ve survived baffled anyone. But their location in the most magical peninsula known to man made it impossible for anyone to attack them. Our history was proof of that.

I focused my thoughts on the present as I followed my brother through the overgrown path. It has been a while since we’ve had to make the journey, but it was surely not the last time. This time, Fernand needed our help. I turned and put my feet on the rocks my brother had just used as footholds to climb down the last cliff. It wasn’t too long a climb, but I knew from experience it could hurt if you attempted to jump from the top. Fernand wasn’t in good shape when we started our journey, and I didn’t want to imagine how he was now. So even though I had the urge to try and speed my descent I carefully searched out the handholds we have worn down over theWhen I finally got down I kept pushing. I was tired but the buzzing has lessened to an almost unnoticable level so I had more energy to focus on getting back to our home. There were many poisons, especially created by the empire, but Fernand got the worst of all of them. All because he wanted to protect us. Except it wasn’t technically a poison. It was the very magic keeping everything alive, veaponized against his body. And he didn’t have the resistance to counter it. The only way to help was the Quartz flower and a specific use of magic, neither of which were common. The flower grew under magical circumstances that were found only in a few spots around the entire world. On the cliff, we found it there was just enough magic to grow a patch, although, it preferred more. Amounts that a human body couldn’t stand, and even a channeler could only barely stand. And even if someone had the antidote, they’d still need a specific use of magic that allowed the user to remove any trace of the substance from the air completely. Most practices of magic could be done by any channeler. This however was a rare ability, the users of which have almost gone extinct by our time. Luckily, my mother was one of the last ones. I most likely also had the ability, but due to an accident I had to be very careful with how much magic I allowed into needs. So now we were going as fast as we could to get theeexposureo my mother.

Our home, which doubled as the healer hut, was located right by the river, at the foot of the mountain. The only building still technically belonging to the village was the Hunter’s hut and that was further into the forest on the mountain.

“We’re here,” I called out when we arrived. It was almost Sundown, and my mother ushered us in, not wasting any time.

“Elisaria, go make sure he’s okay.” She took the flowers, and I went as I was instructed. “Drustan, come with me.” I didn't see them go into the kitchen, but I knew that's where they were headed.

“No magic!” my mother called after me,,, confirming her location.

I went ,,into the recovery room, hoping Fernand would still be alive. I was pretty sure my mother wanted to keep me away from using magic, but sending me in here was for another reason and I was thankful she did it. As I stepped into the room, my muscles released tension at the coolness of the air. It made sense; there was no magic in here besides what burned itself into Fernand’s body empty-handedd week. I saw him lying motionless, but I could hear his labored breathing. That made me both relieved and scared. Seeing him like this made me furious, both at the people who abused magic like this but also at myself. I should not have let him go to fight. He had a chance to stay here and I didn’t say a word when he decided to go. Now tears burned my eyes as I stepped closer.

“Hey,” I sat down on a chair beside him. “How are you holding up?” He wasn’t asleep; I saw his head move slightly as I sat down.

“I…” A series of coughs cut his sentence short before it even started. He sat up slightly before falling back on the bed.

“I… don't think… I will… fulfill… that promise.” I had to focus as his voice cut in and out with pain and coughing. He grinned bitterly reaching out with his hand.

Tears streaked down my face as I replied, “My mother is making the antidote right now. You will be okay.” I knew I was wrong but wanted to believe I wasn’t. It didn’t take long for the brew to boil, and my mother had practice using magic. I wished I could say the same. By the time the Sun touched the horizon, she was done and gave the tea to our guest. It was a tedious project to help him sit up and drink, but it had to happen if he were to have any chance at survival.

As we waited, it became clear that it wasn’t working. My mother examined him physically and magically, too, before stating that the poison was gone from his system.

“So why is he getting worse?” I asked.

“It had been almost three weeks since he was hit. The damage is too extensive, and all the flower can do is neutralize the poison.”

“So let me heal him.” my blood boiled with rage, and maybe magic based on the buzzing in my ears.

“You can’t take it. You would need to use more magic than your system can safely handle now.”

“Yes I can! I’ve done it once, I can do it again!”

“Which is exactly why you can’t handle it. Let him go in peace Elisaria. Please”

Every word was just kindling on my already burning anger. I turned around and went back into the room. I had to try, at least. My skin felt warmer as my body created more of the magical substance. The air got colder when I started pulling in magic from around me. I took the hand of Fernand, that at this point was glistening with sweat. His eyes looked at me pleadingly but I kept going. When my mother and Drustan tried to stop me, I released a shockwave on instinct, sacrificing most of the magic I had gathered. I started circulating the rest through my system, into the man laying half-dead on the bed and through him and the air back into my body.

I had to focus hard to remember the exact way I had to adjust the properties of magic. It was as close to raising the dead as I could get. And that required magic to be manipulated into being all the healer it was and none of the killer. That meant I had to take the damage it would cause to the other human, which was exactly why I had a low tolerance to magic at this point.

My anger and frustration held me up for a while, but I couldn’t hold onto it. I managed two full rounds before my mind started feeling foggy. My hands started shaking, and my veins caught fire, this time not from anger, but I persisted and started the third round. Every beat of my heart was more painful than the one before it, and my lungs gave up trying to gather air. The very thing I was using to heal my friend was now hurting, possibly killing me.

Magic slipped through my hands as my mind gave in to pain and exhaustion. I could vaguely hear my mother instructing Drustan to get my room ready before I felt the strength leaving my legs, and I fell. The last sensation before I blacked out was my mother picking me up gently and the fire moving through my body as she removed magic from it.

***

"Don't try to open your eyes yet." I was barely conscious, but my mother had already noticed my movements changing. Her warning was unnecessary, though. I've only made that mistake once. Senses were the first to go with magic, which made me suspect my mother actually spoke quieter than I thought.

"He passed away a while after you passed out. He was asleep when it happened." I wasn't yet capable of speech, so I just lay there, knowing my mother knew I heard her.

“I couldn’t save him.” Tears gathered in the corners of my eyes and rolled down toward my ears.

My mind lingered on that thought as my body became more and more awake. It would still be a while before I could get up, but at least I could move already. My bones felt cold from the lack of magic around me, which was a strange sensation after almost three years.

I finally attempted to open my eyes, and I found myself blinking at the ceiling. I still had to squint somewhat, but it wasn’t too bad. This wasn’t the usual room I’d wake up in after being overexposed to magic, but Fernand occupied that room when I passed out. The thought of that sent another wave of tears and anger through me. We should have stayed out of the war. Maybe then he’d still be alive. He was loyal to us and should have been saved, but I failed. We failed. And now someone was dead because we couldn’t just keep our heads down.

I felt a slight tickle on my muscles indicating my mother started letting a low amount of magic in. What we called could be a nasty thing. While it kept us alive, it needed to be in a very delicate balance. And the human body needed recovery time away from any of it if it had too much exposior. It also helped if the body could slowly get used to magic again after the recovery happened. Which was hard, considering it was all around us. It gave life to everything. No one truly understood how it worked but we knew it was impossible to survive without any magic in the air.

When I could sit up, my mother was already bringing a bowl of stew toward my bed. I took it and started eating. I was as hungry as if I hadn’t eaten in a year, but I forced myself to eat slowly. That was a mistake I had to make a couple of times, but eventually, I learned my lesson. My stomach didn’t like too fast provisions and for a while after my accident my food kept ending up on the floor.

"How long was I out?" I asked partially to test my ability to speak. My voice was a bit hoarse, almost as if I used it too much, but I could speak without pain. Further indicating I didn’t do too much damage.

"Almost a day. The sun is already over the hills."

"What was his message?" Fernand came home in hopes of healing, but he didn’t come empty handed.

"We haven't opened it yet." Drustan came in with a cup of water. "We wanted to wait until you recovered. Whatever it is, he died to get it here. Mom thought our minds could be distracted from helping you."

"Thank you." I turned my head away. No matter how often I didn’t listen to her, my mother still ensured I would be as okay as possible. And that made me feel guilty for wanting to try again already. Not guilty enough to stop, though. I had to be stronger than the Empire. If I couldn’t stop my loved ones from being a part of the war, I had to make sure I can protect them.

"Look, Elisaria, I know you want to help, but you have to be careful. Your body is getting used to magic like an infant’s. You could kill yourself trying to force more in than you can handle."

“You know I hate that he had to go. I need to at least try to keep people alive.”

“Elisaria, that’s not your choice to make. Not like that. The only decision in your hand is how you deal with the loss. Not wether it happens or not.”

Silence fell on us. I didn’t have a good answer, and my mother wasn’t someone who was going to give up her beliefs just because I had valid points. They both stayed there until I recovered enough to stand up and move on my own. The moon was already approaching the pass by then, so we went to sleep. Even though the message was definitely urgent, we couldn't face it as tired as we were. My mother knew that and put the paper away so we couldn't find it. It took at least a week if not more, to get to us anyway. One more night wasn't going to make a difference.

Or at least we thought it wasn’t until we woke up to the town chief knocking on our door the next day. I couldn’t hear the conversation since I was instructed to stay in the room with the controlled magic. Some of it was now inside, but the rest was still shielded off. I was in awe of my mother’s ability to control environmental magic like that. All I could do was redirect and use environmental magic but never completely get rid of it.

I listened to the quick, quiet words of the chief before the door closed, and my mother came in. Drustan was with her, and from the look on their faces, I had a pretty good idea what the message we received last night was about. My mother already had the letter and was reading it while Drustan sat on my bed.

“How bad is it?” I asked quietly.

“We hold a meeting at noon. Adalgis seemed really stressed.” Drustan answered just as quietly.

A town meeting was a really serious issue. This meant our letter had information about the Empire and how much it had advanced. I watched my mother’s face fall as she kept reading the lines that never seemed to end. We knew it was bad news when Fernand showed up, but from the events of the morning, I started to realize things were worse than we originally thought.

"When did he write it?" I asked as my mother looked up.

"Two weeks ago. They are getting closer."

"We can't give in. This is our territory. They can't take our lives!"

"Save it for the meeting, Drustan. The whole village is going to decide what to do together. This isn't something we can take lightly. Several other communities decided to surrender around us."

My senses went numb as I read the letter. I didn't need to, but I wanted to know how my father was. He was okay when he wrote the letter, but that was over two weeks ago. And it was severely bad news. Fernand knew he was poisoned, and so he decided to deliver the messages in hopes of getting healed or seeing home one last time. I was enraged, and I wanted to murder someone. It wasn't fair that they killed him. I have known him since I was just a little girl. I lost my sense of time and the outside world as all the thoughts circled in my head. It wasn’t right. We should have never joined the war. We weren’t even close to it.

As much as I knew logically that all this was the fault of an invading force, I was mad at my village. My father. And through my grief also Fernand. They all decided to fight, knowing full well how it would end. How could they do this to us? To me?