Tigerstar: Finally, the scariest nigth fo the year has arrived... where queens actually care about their kit's curfews... and my evilest plan yet is about to begin. I will raise the once-forgotten Fluff-O-weenclan!

Darkstripe: I think the reason your plans are never successful is because you talk to invisible people about them.

Tigerstar: That's what you think. There are people out there, Darkstripe, listening. I know something you don't.

Darkstripe: That #Yoloswag is still a thing?

Tigerstar: No. AND YOLOSWAG WILL ALWAYS BE A THING.

~In hopeclan camp~

Frostfire: *Pulls in a giant flatscreen TV* HAPPY HALLOWEEN.

Moonshine: And yet, there is a TV in hopeclan. Physics are lying to me.

Raintail: Cake is also lying to you.

Moonshine: DON'T REMIND ME IF YOU WISH TO LIIIIVVVVEEEE

Frostfire: Oooooo-kay. Anyway, welcome to the "Secret camera we may or may not have set up in the dark forest to watch Tigerstar's ever move" show!

Fernstripe: I hate reality Tv

Featherheart: SHHH IT'S STARTINGGGG

Tv:

Darkstripe: Point taken. Well summon your evil fluffiness masters already.

Tigerstar: I will, thank you. *Hands him instructions on how to make poptarts* Tell me what to do.

Darkstripe: Would this be a bad time to tell you that I can't read?

Tigerstar:  No, you don't read it. You absorb it. With your face.

Darkstripe: Ok. *Puts the instructions of the floor and facepaws into them* Leik dis?

Tigerstar: Perfect. Begin.

Darkstripe: Ok. First, take a... is that a whisk? Err... ok. Step one- Buy a ham slicing factory.

Tigerstar: *Goes on ebay* EEEBBBBAAAAYYYY HAS EVERYTHINGGGG

Darkstripe: Step two- Find the world's crispiest potato chip.

Tigerstar: *Spamming the ebay forums*

Darkstripe:  Step 3- Kidnap 73 smurfs.

Tigerstar: Can I get them pre-kidnapped?

Darkstripe: I'M READING POPTARTS I REALLY DON'T CARE.

Tigerstar: K. got that.

Darkstripe: Step 4- Combine with noodles and mix thoroughly. 

Tigerstripe: You sure?

Darkstripe: Yup.

Tigerstar: *Does it*

*A giant orange portal opens in teh space-time continuum*

To be continued in part 2...