07 | As If!
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VALOR
vii. AS IF!
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THE END WAS NEAR, and surprisingly, Riley was more okay with it than she wanted to admit.
It was bittersweet for her to think about. S.H.I.E.L.D. was all Riley had for... forever, actually. They had taken her in when she had nothing, raising her and shaping her as a person all of this time. But S.H.I.E.L.D. was never her home.
Riley didn't know much about homes, but she knew that home was somewhere you felt relaxed, comfortable, welcomed. Riley never felt that way when it came to S.H.I.E.L.D. They always made her feel anxious, uneasy, even scared. Now that Riley was finally wrapping her head around the situation at hand, she was also realizing where her true home was. Riley's home wasn't S.H.I.E.L.D., it was her village. It might be small and dysfunctional, but her village made her feel like she was at home. That was all Riley could ask for. Maybe that was why she was so okay with the untimely downfall of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Maria Hill led Riley, Sam Wilson, and Steve Rogers to the Triskelion for the last time. Riley had to keep reminding herself that it was going to be okay, that the Triskelion was HYDRA's home, not her's. It didn't mean anything to Riley anymore.
Riley strode beside Steve, adorned in her dirtied white suit while he wore his World War II uniform that was usually on display in his museum exhibit. Riley found herself smiling at the sight of it, imagining what it was like to see Captain America during his golden years.
"I like the suit," Riley lightly mentioned, which was true, but in her opinion, Riley thought that suit did nothing for his ass.
The corners of Steve's lips twitched subtly. His mind was cloudy with thoughts about Bucky, but he appreciated the fact that Riley was trying to distract him from that. Even on his darkest days, Riley tried to embody the sun.
"Thanks," he replied. "Though I'm still not sure if it's considered stealing if it was mine in the first place."
Riley chuckled and glanced up at the others, seeing that they were further ahead. This was one of the few moments Riley got to be alone with Steve. She and Steve were always with Natasha these past few months, making them a trio; but Natasha was away busily fulfilling another part of the plan with the Council.
"I hope this goes fast," confessed Riley. "I have an essay due tonight." Steve shot her a bewildered glance, causing Riley to realize that he didn't know she was still in school. "What, just 'cause I'm always working doesn't mean I can't be in college!" Riley prided herself on her ability to multitask her way through life. She had graduated at a high school level at 10-years-old, took a gap year, and then resumed her education as a student at Columbia University at 11, just before she turned 12. Riley also prided herself on being a Biochemistry major at such a young age.
It sounded a lot more difficult than it was. In reality, all Riley did every day was train and study. The real surprise was how Riley still managed to procrastinate all of her assignments. Given her unpredictable lifestyle, Riley should've known better by now.
"Huh," breathed Steve, "and to think when I was your age, I could barely take care of myself."
After a little laugh escaped her, Riley hesitated before asking, "So... how are you feeling?"
Steve eyed her, reluctant. "...Didn't realize you were one for motivational speeches."
"As if!" Riley immediately retorted. "You could catch me dead before I ever do something like a man." She shook her head. "No, I'm just asking because... We're friends, aren't we?"
"Well, I'd hope so."
Riley floundered as they continued to trek toward the Triskelion. She wanted to let Steve know she was there for him, just like he was for her. She just had no clue how to convey that.
"I overheard Sam telling you earlier that your friend was beyond saving," Riley began. Great start, idiot. "...I just wanted to tell you that I don't think that's true."
Steve didn't know what to say. No matter how much he told himself that it was possible, even Steve was unsure.
"I don't think anyone's beyond saving," Riley continued. "Just look at Roman or Nat. They were screwed up and looking for a second chance. Now they're heroes." She paused. "I think... I think the world's really screwed up and confusing, but... I think things like this are supposed to happen. I mean, if everything just went the way we wanted it to, life would be really worthless, you know?"
Riley spoke, trying her best to get her point across as smoothly and clearly as possible. She stammered a lot and paused in the middle of her sentence often, but she was trying. Riley forced a small smile, adding, "If it helps, just go in there ready to get all your pent-up anger toward HYDRA and S.H.I.E.L.D. out. That's what I'm doing."
Steve peered down at the short teenager, who was purposely avoiding his gaze with an uncomfortable look on her face. Riley was trying so hard to make him feel better, and it was so obvious that this wasn't something Riley did often. Not for others, at least. Steve knew how much of an optimist she was, but she hardly ever used her positivity to help others feel better. Steve was touched.
Not wanting to give that fact much attention, knowing it would embarrass Riley even more, Steve just nodded. "Thanks," he acknowledged. "When we get in there, you make sure you give 'em hell, Manhattan."
Riley's eyes lit up at the affirmation. She looked up at Steve and, now filled with determination, nodded. "You, too, Brooklyn."
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As it turns out, when you're Captain America, you can essentially get away with anything.
Busting into the Triskelion was easier than Riley thought it would be. Well, she knew it'd be easy for her because of her powers, but it's not exactly easy sneaking in three grown-ass adults.
Riley stood alongside Maria and Sam while Steve paved the way. They were inside the heart of the Project Insight HQ. Dozens of techs busily worked in preparation for D-Day (which was in less than a few hours). Riley was expecting some kind of fight to break out between them and the techs, but when they merely stepped out of the way for Steve, she quickly learned that being Captain America had way more perks than she once thought.
Steve walked over to one of the microphones hooked up to the comms and greeted, "Attention, all S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. This is Steve Rogers. You've heard a lot about me over the last few days, some of you were even ordered to hunt me down. But I think it's time you know the truth. S.H.I.E.L.D. is not what we thought it was. It's been taken over by HYDRA. Alexander Pierce is their leader. The S.T.R.I.K.E. and Insight crew are HYDRA, as well. I don't know how many more, but I know they're in the building. They could be standing right next to you. They almost have what they want: absolute control. They shot Nick Fury, and it won't end there. If you launch those Helicarriers today, HYDRA will be able to kill anyone that stands in their way... unless we stop them. I know, I'm asking a lot, but the price of freedom is high. It always has been, and it's a price I'm willing to pay. And if I'm the only one, then so be it. But I'm willing to bet I'm not."
Riley's eyebrows shot upward once Steve stepped away from the microphone. "You're getting way too good at that."
"Did you write that down, or was it off the top of your head?" gently joked Sam.
They didn't need to be in the warzone to know what was happening. Steve's words wreaked havoc across the HYDRA base. Agents were choosing who to fight and who to join, questioning their alliances and everything they'd ever known. As of now, no one was safe.
Maria Hill busily worked at one of the nearby monitors. As she read the information flashing across the screen, she announced, "They're initiating the launch."
Riley, Sam, and Steve hardly exchanged glances before making a break out the door without another word. They needed to take down those Helicarriers before a lot of innocent people died.
Arriving outside where the bay doors had opened up, Sam called to Steve as they ran forward, "Hey, Cap, how do we know the good guys from the bad guys?"
"If they're shooting at you, they're bad," Steve simply replied. That sounded good enough to Sam. Wordlessly, he extended his wings and took off into the skies just as gunfire opened on the three heroes.
The trio separated to search for the control centers of the three Helicarriers. Each member on the field had a chip to carry that would hack into the system of the Helicarriers. They just needed to get to it without getting shot down first.
Riley observed as a large group of agents headed her way. She quickly turned invisible, but that didn't stop the enemy from shooting at her. She noticed how several of the HYDRA agents seemed to be wearing special goggles—the same ones Riley saw earlier when they were briefly taken captive. Riley could only assume those goggles gave them the ability to sense where she was, even when she was invisible.
"Can't hide now, O'Dair!"
With a shrug, Riley turned herself visible and declared, "Good. I'm done hiding!"
A smirk tugged on her lips as she surrounded herself with a spherical forcefield. Riley studied the group for a few seconds. Their helmets didn't seem to completely cover their faces, thus allowing Riley to recognize several of them. It was strange to her knowing that a lot of these people were agents she once worked alongside.
But then she remembered how 90% of those agents hated her guts growing up, and that feeling vanished instantaneously.
Riley raised her hand and projected herself upward into the skies by creating a shield from underneath her. She pulled out two of her guns that were strapped to her, blasting her enemies remorselessly as she flipped through the air. This took down a few of them, but not enough.
Riley worked her way through the crowd of agents. She used her size to her ability, weaving in between gaps created by her foes and using those small areas to strike them at their weak points. For example, a woman's balance core is located at her lower abdomen and hips, allowing her to kick her enemies down easily. If needed, a woman could kick at the solar plexus or the balls of a male to render them vulnerable to any further hits.
Basically, Riley was pleased to say that she kicked many of her asshole coworkers in the balls that day.
Meanwhile, Natasha was busy at work on the ground level. Her mission was to disable all security protocols and dump all of HYDRA and S.H.I.E.L.D.'s secrets onto the internet. Nothing was being left out. Everything was getting revealed. Including Riley's identity.
Riley was trying not to think about it too much. It made her nervous knowing that at any second, the world could discover her identity. She wondered how they would react. Riley was an optimist, but in this case, her childhood trauma overshadowed any positive thought she had about the situation.
"Satellites are in range at 3,000 feet. Falcon, status?" called Maria Hill through their comms.
"Engaging!" There was a pause. "Alright, Cap, I'm in." Another pause. Gunfire was heard from Sam's end, followed by a "Shit!"
"Eight minutes, Cap," continued Maria. "Valor, are you in?"
By now, Riley had already approached her targeted control center. "Uh-huh!" she confirmed. She reached for the chip in one of her pockets and stuck it into the console of Helicarrier Alpha. "Alpha locked. Let's pick up the pace, boys!"
"Confirming, Alpha is secure," Maria authenticated. "Falcon, where are you now?"
Rather breathlessly, Sam shouted, presumingly from the console of Helicarrier Bravo, "I'm in. Bravo locked."
Meanwhile, Riley was catching her breath. Running through endless barrage wasn't easy. She'd never been in a fight where they could see her while she was invisible, but Riley did it. She was proud of herself. It took a lot of guts to be able to do what she did at 13-years-old. Maybe Valor would end up just as good as Captain America one day.
But the fight wasn't over, yet. There was still one more Helicarrier that needed to be locked down, and until Steve got there, Riley and Sam needed to stay sharp.
Riley exited the Alpha control center and made her way toward the main level. She was about to return to the center of the warzone, only to be distracted by someone striking her from behind. She went tumbling onto the ground, just barely stopping herself before Riley fell over the edge of the Insight HQ, thousands of feet toward the Earth. Considering Riley didn't have any way back up if she fell, she didn't exactly feel like getting thrown off the Helicarrier right now.
Riley pulled herself onto her feet, her muscles acting before her brain could process any thoughts. She immediately turned and kneed her attacker in the stomach, causing him to tip forward. Then, Riley hurled a punch right to his jaw. This caused the agent to grab her and throw her onto the ground, this time with her head dangling off of the edge.
"Face it, brat," the agent hissed. "There's no way you can save yourself now. It's a long way down!"
Riley arched an eyebrow as a terrible idea popped into her head. There was only one way she could get out of this sticky position. "I dunno about that," Riley admitted, her inner Roman shining through. "Wanna find out?"
With that, Riley used her enhanced strength to grab the agent by his shoulders and fling both of them off the side of the carrier. The air whistled in Riley's ears as they sailed through the skies. Riley quickly caught herself with a forcefield. She glanced back at her attacker, seeing him continue to fall until his body smacked against the pavement.
"Asshole," Riley grumbled under her breath. She peered back up at the Helicarrier in the sky. It was a good few hundred feet above her. "How the hell am I supposed to get back up there?"
She was just about to call for Sam when a thought popped into the inventive girl's mind. "My powers are made up of UV rays," she muttered herself, walking herself through her thoughts. "UV rays are around us at all times, so... that means UV rays can move, right?"
Riley squeezed her eyes shut, focusing on the flattened forcefield she stood upon. A loud "YES!" rippled through the atmosphere as Riley went flying upward at insurmountable speeds. Though she couldn't control herself or stay completely balanced, Riley found herself cheering nonetheless.
Riley soared throughout the skies until she was close enough to land onto the Helicarrier. Flying by herself was a little too much for Riley to handle, but with enough training, she had a feeling she could master flying by using her forcefields in no time.
Riley stumbled forward, having to stabilize herself since she wasn't used to flying on her own like that. Her eyebrows shot upward when she realized Sam and Steve were by her side, watching in surprise.
"What the hell are you guys doing?" queried Riley, almost completely out of breath after what she'd just done. Riley had essentially taken her own breath away. God, she really was starting to sound like Tony.
"I could ask you the same thing," ricocheted Steve. Riley had to quickly recall that Steve had asked Sam to give him a lift just a few moments ago. She hadn't given it a second thought until then.
"You got a death wish or something?" inquired Sam.
Riley waved her hand dismissively. "Hell, no! I just figured out I can fly! There's no way I'm dying, yet!"
Almost as if on cue, the Winter Soldier went sprinting toward them. He delivered a swift kick to Steve, sending him flying off of the carrier. Sam flew to catch him, but the Winter Soldier merely broke off one of his wings and sent him over the edge next.
Riley's eyes widened. How could all of that happen in the time span of a few seconds? "...О, блядь" mumbled Riley. Oh, fuck.
Part of Riley wanted to just turn invisible and run away. It sounded so easy. He didn't have those goggles on like the others. His only mission was to kill what he could see. Riley could run escape with her life right now.
But that wasn't what being a hero was about. Riley didn't know much about being a hero, but she knew that if she ran away from that fight, everything she'd been working toward would be for nothing. Riley couldn't run away now.
So, as the Winter Soldier started to shoot at her, Riley just remained visible and sprinted toward him without hesitation. She used her forcefield to protect herself from his bullets. There was only so much she could do with her powers now that she had grown exhausted from the fight thus far. All Riley had to save her now was her punches, her wits, and her courage.
Riley had fought the Winter Soldier twice now, and both times, he had won. Maybe Riley couldn't defeat him, but she could fend him off until Steve got to the third control console. For now, that would have to be enough.
Riley kicked the Winter Soldier in the chest, just for him to grab her leg and attempt to throw her off to the side. However, Riley had anticipated this. She extended her arms and flipped herself over using as much strength as she could muster. This caused him to somersault over her. Riley had to bite her tongue when she saw the bastard stick the landing.
The Winter Soldier raised his gun again as Riley quickly realized that she was exhausted. She wasn't sure how much longer she could stand before her legs gave out. Her head ached with pain from how hard she'd been focusing on her powers. Riley was at her limit. She needed to think fast. Thankfully, Riley still had her wits.
"Bucky, right?"
Riley remembered how the Winter Soldier reacted the first time he heard his name. He was emotionless, but Riley was the Queen of repressing her feelings. Whenever she heard something particularly triggering, it always distracted her just for a little bit, even if she didn't let it show. This was Riley's chance.
He didn't react, just as Riley expected. She wondered what HYDRA had done to him to make him this way, to make him forget every ounce of his past life, but Riley figured she could ponder that later.
Riley ducked as he approached her, swinging his metal arm at her face. "That's your name, genius!" Riley continued. "You're Bucky!"
He just glared at her. The Winter Soldier didn't like how the sound of that name made him feel. He delivered a kick to Riley's chest, causing her to fly backward. She stopped herself from going too far by raising a forcefield behind her.
Riley continued to dodge his hits as she shouted, "Я знаю, что ты пытаешься убить меня, но помни, кто ты! Ты друг Стива!" I know you're trying to kill me, but remember who you are! You're Steve's friend!
"Молчи." Shut up.
With that, the Winter Soldier grabbed her and threw her over the side of the Helicarrier. Her yells were stolen from her lungs as she flew through the skies again toward the Earth. She was just barely able to catch herself again, but Riley knew there was no way she could work her way back up like she did the first time. So, Riley just allowed herself to return to the ground and catch her breath.
"Well, that went great," Riley bitterly grumbled to herself. "Guys? I'm on the ground."
"You alright?" Maria queried.
"I'm fine," assured Riley. "I'm safe. Just... at my limit. I'm sorry." Her chest heaved up and down, her throat begging for a drop of water. "I'm just gonna... catch my breath. What's everyone's... everyone's status?"
"Uh, Falcon's headed for Rumlow and Steve's headed for the last control center," announced Maria. "Stay where you are, Valor. We'll regroup soon."
"You don't have to tell me twice," mumbled Riley. "I'll see you on the ground." She laid her head on a pillow of grass, staring up at the Helicarrier in the sky. She could see the war occurring from where she was on the Earth. It seemed so small from her corner of the world.
Riley was relieved now that she was out of the action. She'd done her part, and it looked like things were going to work out, assuming the Winter Soldier didn't strike down Steve. Riley was worried about Steve. She wondered if he'd be able to fight his childhood best friend. Maybe—?
"Is this thing on? Hello? Hey, Tink, can you hear me?"
Riley immediately shot upward, eyes widening as the sound of Tony Stark's voice entered her ears. "Oh, my God," whispered Riley. "Oh, fuck. I'm dead. I'm dead and I'm in Hell, aren't I?"
She could only imagine how Tony Stark had rolled his eyes. "Hilarious. Hey, what's this about HYDRA and S.H.I.E.L.D.? It's all over the news. All of their secrets are leaked. You really gotta catch me up to speed—"
"It happened, like, five seconds ago," Riley interrupted, laying back down again. Her head was spinning. "Give me a break."
"Riiight. Well, I just wanted to let you know your name's been erased from every file I could get my hands on, which was all of them. That was a joke, you're supposed to laugh—"
Riley furrowed her eyebrows together. "You... You did what?"
Tony paused. "I erased your name out of all of your files. It didn't take long. Figured I owed you one, so—"
"You...?" interrupted Riley. A smile spread across her face, a laugh escaping her. She couldn't tell if she was happy or delirious. Maybe both. "You motherfucker!"
"Uh-huh. Yeah. You're welcome," insisted Tony. "Anyways, you sound busy. I'm guessing I caught you at a bad time, yeah?"
Riley's body was sprawled out on the grass, watching in astonishment as the Helicarrier in the sky exploded. "Uh, kind of," replied Riley. "Hey, when I'm done with this mess, we're doing yoga together. I seriously need something normal in my life. And before you say no, I just wanna gently remind you that I'm an orphan."
Riley partially ignored what the others were saying in her comms, but that was only because she was afraid she was going to pass out if she pushed herself to move anymore. If she overheard that they needed help, Riley would force herself to join them again. Tony's timing couldn't have been any more perfect.
Although S.H.I.E.L.D. was abolished, Riley was glad she still had her village. Not being alone anymore was the best thing to ever happen to her.
In the next few days, the country overflowed with concerns of their own. They were worried about how the U.S. was expected to maintain its national security now that S.H.I.E.L.D. was compromised. They wanted to know why Captain America hadn't spoken to the public. Stress had built up so much in those next days that the government even wanted the heroes that took down HYDRA imprisoned.
Luckily, Natasha Romanoff was able to be sworn into a committee hearing to clear the air and ensure that none of the Avengers would be arrested. Why? Because the world was a vulnerable place, and while she and her colleagues were the ones who made it that way, they were also the most qualified to defend it.
On the other hand, Captain America had been out of the limelight in the past week because he'd been hospitalized. This came to be after Steve nearly died while saving the Winter Soldier on the Helicarrier as it exploded. Don't worry, Steve had a speedy recovery, which Riley and Sam witnessed first-hand. They were at his bedside the whole time.
Steve was convinced that Bucky was the one who rescued him after the explosion, so he decided that his next mission was to find his childhood friend. Sam decided to join him while Fury headed to Europe. He planned on remaining "dead" and was looking into taking down a few stray HYDRA agents from another facility. Meanwhile, Natasha was on her way to find a new cover and lay low for a while, whereas Maria Hill was recently employed by Stark Industries's H.R. department as a new cover for herself. Things were looking up for everyone. All who remained was Riley.
Riley didn't know what she was going to do now. S.H.I.E.L.D. was officially abolished and everyone seemed to have plans of their own. She thought about joining the others in their new journeys, but something in her gut told her that wasn't her place. Riley wasn't meant to follow others, she was meant to lead her own life.
Riley wasn't concerned about her future, even when she felt like maybe she should be. Because there would come a time where the world would need her again, and for now, Riley wasn't going to go chasing after it. Riley would take her time, preparing and training instead of looking for trouble.
With or without her powers, Riley O'Dair was shaping up to become of the greatest heroes of her time. Now that she didn't have S.H.I.E.L.D. or HYDRA breathing down her neck, Riley was a free woman. She was going to use her freedom to finally learn for herself what it takes to be a true hero.
Until then, Riley would take it one day at a time. She would train, maybe even find a proper cover for herself until the world needed the Avengers again. That was her only option, really, but she wasn't complaining. She knew she would be ready the next time the world needed saving. Yes, as much as she hated to admit it, Riley knew that the world would need to be saved again with every fiber of her being.
After all, the wicked never rests, and Riley never slept much anyway.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE:
WOW, why do i feel kinda nostalgic ending the winter soldier?
the events of movie was really important for riley's growth. she's learned that she's not just an agent or a follower of shield/hydra anymore. she's her own person, she's a hero (or at least, she's trying to be one), and she has the potential to be an incredible leader. riley's learned that she isn't alone and that shield wasn't what defined her.
riley's become so much stronger from this, and she knows that she's going to be okay now that shield isn't around anymore. she knows she is because she doesn't have another choice. riley's an optimist and a goal-setter. riley's going to keep rolling with the tides until she corporally can't anymore.
i know she's not real, but i'm SO proud of her and how far she's come thus far. she still has a lot to learn, though! riley wants to be a hero and she wants to be her own person, but she doesn't even know where to start. she has her friends to guide her, but there's only so much they can teach her before she has to figure it out herself. the real question is: will she be able to figure it out? or will she fail trying to do what she's been working toward her whole life, which is become a hero?
up next is avengers: age of ultron! i'm so excited to have the gang all together now that we've really seen riley bond with everyone.
don't forget to let me know what yall think! i'll see yall on the flip side! <3
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