Many times I've asked myself what it is. Many times I thought I knew what it is. I don't. That "it" of mine seems to be so different from that of others which I've seen around me. And I'm scared, confused and lost. Of course there's no need to be "like others" but how can I be calm when it's negatively different? I want to believe in it yet I have no evidence to. And I tell myself that maybe my case is a little special. But as time goes on, I can't convince myself of the idea anymore. My case is not special, it's just hopeless and full of doubts. I feel strongly that something is not going right, not as normally expected and I've been trying to ignore the feelings. I wonder if others possesing this "it" ever experience the same feelings. The answer is no. Those who are having this "it" is experiencing opposite feelings. I wish I could experience this kind of "opposite feelings" some day, when my "it" magically turns into a real "it", the "it" that I have been longing so much to have. So what am I having now? A semblance of "it" only. I've discovered that it's just real from my side only.

Wish me peace and balance in life

Wish me faith and hope

Wish me determination and perseverance

Wish me strength

Wish me luck and

Finally,

Wish me love.

New "Grexpectation" for the New Year!!! (To blend from the novel Great Expectation by Charles Dickens!!!)

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