It was a cold morning even though the sun had moved above the horizon. Shaera had anxiously paced back and forth in her room until the shuffling of feet down the hall and the murmur of voices signalled breakfast. Despite the fact the thought of having to consume anything made her feel bodily ill she went anyways. Rhysand was sat with his arm thrown over Feyre's shoulder, whispering it took Shaera a moment to hear what was being said... it was stuff, dirty, disgusting stuff and from the look on Cassian's face she was pretty sure everyone could hear them. Shaera plonked down into a random seat and poured some orange juice. It got to the point where she'd finally had enough when the High Lord started speaking about licking Feyre all over. The dark-haired woman downed her orange juice (which she now very much wished was whiskey), and let out a loud groan, Rhys turned to look at her. 

"Please....please, I can't listen to your sex talk anymore, it's 9 am! I have unsteady mental health, and you're about to tip me over the edge" She exclaimed throwing her hands up in the air, everyone seemingly sighed in relief. Feyre was bright red. 

"You're so dramatic" the High Lord grumbled moving away from his mate slightly and grabbing a strawberry. 

"I am a martyr" 

"You're not dead" the violet-eyed man mused 

"If it erased everything I just heard, then I wish I was" she exclaimed Rhysand bared his teeth at her. A coldness ran up her spine, her irises darkened as she stared past her brother, a frown adorned her face. 

"What?" He whispered into her mind, he frowned in her direction
"Something is off." She mumbled in reply, 

"- Feyre I'm going to the library with you today I want to read in peace" 

"W-what, how did you know we're going to the library?" 

"I can read your mind" 

"I have a shield" Shaera snorted and poured water from the decanter into her glass. 

"Feyre Darling, your shield is shit" Cassian covered his mouth with his hand. Feyre went redder, if that was possible... they all finished breakfast, The High Lord seemed to sit up straighter after her mumbled words a moment before. Worry shrouded his features.

*****************

Nesta was confused why she'd requested to accompany them to the library. She had a sword strapped to her back, leather boots and braces. Her white shirt was partly tucked into grey leather pants.

"The library is safe, you don't need a sword," Feyre said as they walked into the library 

"You just informed me there is a creature under the library that left Cassian traumatised... how is that safe?"The violet-eyed woman spoke in disbelief, Feyre grinned 

"It hasn't eaten anyone yet" Shaera just stared in disbelief, a mysterious carnivorous monster under the library. What could go wrong? Everything... everything could go wrong. Her anxiety had grown ten folds from earlier in the morning. It was like an itch she couldn't possibly scratch. Shaera left the sisters to converse among themselves as she sat a small way away reading a leather-bound journal about the life of someone called "Anealec Neihtodras" a strange woman. An assassin. As she delve deeper into the book, Shaera started to conclude that this woman was both brilliant and moronic...Gods she missed reading, missed sitting across from Madja and spending hours in complete and utter peace. It felt so long ago...Hybern... the days in the infirmary...The time when Azriel liked her. Fucking hell this mating bond was scrambling her brain. A chill ran up her spine. Violet eyes snapped up, her gaze briefly lingered on the sisters before she scanned the rows of books. Empty. She frowned and placed the book on the desk. Shaera hopped off the surface and slowly moved towards the Archeron's, Nesta and Feyre turned to look at her. She moved a finger to her lips and slowly unsheathed her sword. Then she felt them... the familiar presence of two men.

The world stopped. The air turned stagnant. The fae lights along the ceiling started to burst submerging the library into darkness bit by bit. Shaera snapped her head towards the descending darkness

"I suggest we run" she hummed, the fae women scrambled to their feet. They ran. Feyre and Nesta slower due to the eldest Archeron's dress. The Twin Ravens were here in Velaris. That's why she'd felt uneasy all yesterday and today. 

"Faster" Shaera hissed to the two sisters in front, the dark-haired woman was going to burn Nesta's dresses when she got back... every single one of them. Feyre and Nesta suddenly paused, the darkness that spread behind them stilled. Shaera shoved through them both.

"I suggest you return home, now" Her voice was different now, held the power it did before she left Hybern. It all started to flow back to her like a drug.
They stood before her clad in grey jackets embroidered with bone white thread. The light-haired one grinned at her 

"We don't take orders from you anymore. Commander" The dark-haired one raised his hand and blew out a breath. Blue faebane descended upon them. The two women behind her gasped as they felt their magic die. Shaera stared ahead. Her magic diminished yes, but it did not die completely. Not after the thousands of times, she'd been exposed to the stuff. 

"Who are you?" Feyre breathed 

"Why don't you ask your new friend, she knows us well" the white-haired one hissed 

"The king's Ravens" Shaera whispered,

"The king refers to his people as Ravens?" Feyre whispered 

"Only the best, yes" she knew the sister shared a look, the prophecy seemingly about her made more sense now.

"Why are you here?" Shaera asked staring at them both, 

"The king wants you home, he said he'd asked you nicely in your dreams... but you wouldn't listen.... oh and he wants the eldest Archeron sister..." he stopped 

"You both stole something" the dark-haired one finished. 

"I suspect the High Lady is a bonus" Shaera mused, they both nodded, the ex-commander glanced briefly at the stairs descending. The creature. 

"If he wants what I took, he can come get it himself" Nesta spat, Shaera could feel the woman's glare without even turning around 

"He's too busy to bother" the white-haired one chuckled. Silence

"Feyre...-" she whispered 

"Go Down" The brunette reached forward and squeezed her wrist to show she heard.
Stagnant. Time stood still.

"Now" Feyre and Nesta darted to the stairs and descended, Shaera's grip tightened on her sword. The Ravens drew their own

"Do you wish to fight me, Attan, Ketzin?" The men faltered for a second, they shared a look. She'd pulled them from the rubble, and trained them. Built them up into the warriors they were today... They had matured in the 50 years they'd been parted from her. 

"We have to..." Attan whispered, The violet of her irises died, black crawling across to meet the pupil. Shaera sighed and nodded. Then they struck, as fast as light, Shaera twisted, parried, struck. She had to start her way down the stairs, they'd pushed her back that far...blocking two swords whilst walking backwards down steps... it was a skill in itself. Her sword sliced Attan's cheek. He stopped and touched the blood. Ketzin continued to slash at her. Fucking hell, they had gotten better. She wanted to laugh, tell them how good they'd got, how proud she was. But now they stood on opposite sides.... worlds apart.

************

As they fought descending the stairs it grew darker and darker. Shaera knew they were gaining on Feyre and Nesta, the speed at which they fought in comparison to the speed the eldest Archeron could run was almost parallel, no matter how long she held them back, they were finding every way to push forward. Shit, shit, shit. She wasn't exactly expecting to see the boys today, let alone fight them. Attan slipped past her and continued his pursuit. Shaera growled, she felt the veins crawl across her skin, she heard Attan taunting the Archeron's. Ketzin tackled her down the middle of the stairs. They were falling. He planned to use her to stop his fall. The impact would break bones and do some serious damage. The ex commanders hand shot out and latched onto the dark-haired man's neck. She switched their positions in mid-air. His eyes widened. The ground approached. 

CRACK. The sound of a spine being shattered into pieces.

"There goes the commander" Attan stated, descending upon the Archeron sisters. 

"Run... please" she heard Feyre beg Nesta. Shaera didn't see what happened next but she heard stacks of books falling.

"We'll catch her, don't worry, wouldn't want you and your dear sister to be separated" the white-haired man cooed. Ketzin stirred from the floor, his bones fusing back together. The only reason she'd let him take the full brunt of the fall... was due to the spell the king had placed upon them. Shaera darted to Feyre placing herself between the men and the High Lady 

"I see... that was Ketzin's spine"Attan mused and licked his lips

"he'll rise again soon" Shaera replied adjusting the grip on her sword. Ketzin appeared through the darkness to stand beside his comrade, his brother. 

"There's nowhere to go" they chuckled, Shaera latched her hand around Feyre's wrist and they darted off again. 

"Without my sword, I cannot kill them" The ex-commander huffed. Deep down she was glad she couldn't do any real damage to them, She prayed they'd stop, just return to Hybern... alive. 

"Why?" Feyre was breathing heavily beside her 

"There's a spell the king placed upon them, if they break they fix, if they're sliced they weave themselves back together, my sword stops that" Feyre looked afraid now, that small detail tended to unease people. Shaera shoved them into an alcove. 

"Please" the middle Archeron breathed into the darkness 

"Please, help us" a boom shuddered through the floor. Feyre had called the creature.... no... she'd fucking summoned it

"High Lady of the Night Court, what sort of cage shall our king build you?" Ketzin mused, Shaera could hear their footsteps drawing closer. 

"You are the High Lady?" A voice whispered beside them, Shaera stilled. It was both young and old, hideous and beautiful. 

"Y-yes" Feyre whispered, they were too close, merely a metre around the corner. Shaera blinked at the brunette in the darkness and released the hold on her wrist. 

"Shaera..."

"They're too close, I'll hold them off" the ex-commander emerged from the alcove and charged to where she heard the Ravens walking. Attan turned just in time to see her sword slice across his chest, blood splattered everywhere, he stumbled back in surprise, Ketzin swung from the right, she ducked and slammed her foot into his knee. 

"Please... just return to Hybern-" Shaera begged, limply holding the sword between herself and the Ravens. They stood in front of her, their swords falling to their sides 

"-boys... please, go home" 

"We can't... not unless we bring you, he'll kill us Shaera" Ketzin whispered, Shaera's brows furrowed. 

"Run, get on a ship-" she dropped her sword to the ground. 

"-get out of here" the ex-commander was begging now, begging for them to live. She moved forward and placed a hand on their cheeks. Attan shook his head 

"We can't... give us the eldest Archeron... then we'll go, we'll leave you, you're finally happy here." 

"I can't do that Attan" she sighed and backed away from them both. Their grips tightened and their swords again. Sadness pooled in their irises.

"We're sorry"....they lunged. Shaera lurched backwards. Ketzin's sword cut through the air, it sliced past her torso, a thin line cut into her flesh. She hissed A cold breeze hit her back. Shaera snapped her head to the side ....Her eyes met another's... its gaze was cold...she went cold

"Hello there," it whispered, she stared at it... what else could she do? Scream? 

"Don't kill them... please" the dark-haired woman whispered in reply to whatever it was. Time was stilled 

"The High Lady requested otherwise" Then it descended upon Ketzin, the Raven screamed. No. Shaera righted herself as Attan lunged for her, she twisted to the side and secured her hand around his throat. She could feel Ketzin's blood splatter on her face, his screams rippled through her skull. They fell to the ground. The ex-commander pinned the white-haired man. Attan's eyes smoked over and the youth drained from his face. He screamed and choked, the Cauldron's spell putting up a fight...So this is what happens when you use the Cauldron against the Cauldron. Shaera felt the veins crawl across her face, the whites of her eyes no more. He stared up at her, screeching. She faltered slightly. He clawed and withered.

"Please...Shaera, please" Attan whispered through choked breaths. She frowned down and saw the young boy that came to her with his brother, alone, lost. The boy she'd trained, the boy she'd watched grow into a man...Tears slid down his face, Shaera could let go, could let him live. 

"I'll do anything"  Attan wheezed. She let go. Dark eyes blinked. She couldn't kill him, she wouldn't, his eyes continued to mist over his face hollowing, he slumped... Attan's last breathe left his laps

"No, no, no, no-" Shaera whispered over and she cupped his face 

"-I let go, it should've stopped..."The dark-haired woman stared down at the body in horror

"-I let go..." her mouth was dry, tears welled.

"Attan..." she shook the man clutching onto his grey apparel.

"Don't look. Don't look" she heard a voice through the chaos... Cassian? Rhysand landed in the pit, the entirety of the mountain shuddered. Shaera turned and saw the hazel-eyed man leading Feyre away. Rhysand stormed towards his mate and Cassian 

"Get them out"  She could hear Ketzin's bones crunch as his screams engulfed the air. Shaera scrambled to her feet. She had to save him. Her dark eyes squinted into the darkness, looking for the dark-haired man... screams silenced... she choked back a sob. Gods they were both dead, the boys she'd watched grow. She turned towards the darkness. Silence. 

"I am Bryaxis" the voice spoke from behind her. Shaera turned and stared at it. 

"You killed him," she spoke blinking at the creature steadily. It swirled around her 

"I did not. The High Lord finished the job" it hummed,  and descended back into the darkness of the library. Rhysand appeared behind her.

"Are they out?" she whispered blood dripping down the side of her face. Ketzin's blood. Numbness pooled in her chest

"Yes," Rhysand replied, Shaera could feel him looking at the black veins that spiralled across her skin. She blinked down at the body before her. The face was stilled in a permanent state of fear. Shaera turned to where Ketzin's body should be, there was nothing but blood and bones in its place... Her eyes flickered up to Rhysand his hands covered in blood, black faded from the whites of her eyes. No violet still to be seen. 

"Can we get out of this place" she whispered, the Highlord's gaze was fixed on her face he wrapped his arms around his sister and shot up from the ground into the blaring white light above. In their ascent, her eyes lingered a moment on the man she'd killed her chest constricted.

*************************
Shaera and Rhys landed outside the house of wind. Her side stung yet the deep wound wasn't deep, there was more of Ketzin's blood splattered across her than her own. Cassian, Nesta and Feyre, were in the sitting room, the Archerons had a glass of Brady clutched in their hands, they all looked up at the two siblings walking through the door. Their gazes lingered on Shaera more so. 

"Is the king— the city—" Feyre stuttered

"Amren said there was no sign of him" Rhys stated to Feyre, to the whole group. Only then did the ex-commander see the cold stone rage seeping off the High lord they flickered to the slim band of black iron tattoo around Feyre's forearm. He left Shaera's side. 

"What did you give it?" his voice matched the one he'd used in the court of nightmares. 

"It—- it said it wanted company. Someone to tell it about life. I said yes"

"Did you volunteer yourself"

"No-" Feyre set down the glass of brandy

"It just said, someone. And it didn't specify when"  the brunette grimaced at the solid black band, no thicker than a finger width on her arm. She tried to stand but her knees wobbled too much 

"Are the king's Raven's dead?" Rhysand looked to Shaera, who had taken to staring at the ground. 

"Shaera." Her dark eyes snapped up to look at them all 

"Yes, they are dead.-" she paused and clenched her hands 

"The king's not going to be happy, the sooner you have the meeting the better" she finished and started walking into the dining room. The dark-eyed woman said that to deflect from her own sadness her own rage. 

"What was the creature down there?" Feyre asked after her. Shaera grabbed a bottle of whiskey off the side and unscrewed the top

" Why are you asking me? I have no fucking idea" She called back 

"You saw it" 

"Doesn't mean I know it, Feyre" she took a swig from the bottle and sat down on one of the chairs. She felt sweaty, bloody and disgusting. After about 10 minutes of everyone in the living room talking back and forth, Shaera was resting her head against the table.

"Shaera get up, everyone's at the townhouse" Rhysand spoke from the doorway

"Leave me"

"Get up or I'll drag you there" 

"I'm all bloody" 

"It's dried, stop complaining" Shaera grumbled at him under her breath and stood from the table, downing the last bit of whiskey, the burn was a welcomed sensation.

"Are you flying me down there or do I have to winnow?" She sighed watching the violet-eyed man.

"I'll carry you and Feyre to the townhouse-" Shaera smiled softly and walked towards the living room. 

"Stay indoors tonight" the High lord commanded as she passed him. Shaera simply nodded and went to stand with the others. She didn't need to ask questions to know Amren would be prowling through the streets tonight.

*********

They walked through the door of the townhouse. Elain was nestled beside Morrigan, and Lucien were stood by the front window, he turned and looked at us all. His mouth gaped when he saw Shaera. 

"Azriel's coming down from the roof," Rhys said to no one in particular, leaning against the archway into the sitting room crossing his arms. As if summoned Azriel stepped out of a pocket of shadow by the stairs scanning the group head to toe. Shaera was stood behind the Archerons, as the sisters moved into the living room, Illyrian picked her out from the crowd, the blood, the wound...he moved from his position and rushed to her. Whether he was truly worried or it was simply instinct as soon as his hand cupped her bloodied cheek and the other laid tentatively on her arm, she felt at ease. Azriel's eyes scanned her face. Black faded to violet at last. The others had started their discussion already. 

"When I heard you were down there..." he whispered hazel now danced with violet. 

"I am fine Azriel" in reply the Illyrian pulled her to his chest. 

"I will not leave your side again, mated or not" he spoke into her mind a promise. He pulled back and rested his forehead against her own. If she didn't let go she'd fall apart. She sighed and pulled back, her gaze lingered for a moment longer before she turned and moved into the living room.

"The queen might come" Elain spoke from the sofa her soft doe eyes flickering around the room

"What queen?" The eldest Archeron questioned, staring down at her sister.

"Cursed by the Cauldron -" Feyre moved and spoke from the chair where she sat. 

"-When it threw its tantrum after you...left" 

"No, not that one. The other" Elain studied the both of them, Azriel moved and stood beside Shaera, his hand looped around and rested on her lower back. Maybe he truly was sorry for what he said... or he was delusional, it was one or the other. 

"what other?" He asked, Elain frowned 

"The queen— the one with the feathers of flame" the shadow singer angled his head towards Shaera, they had both reached the same conclusion having both spent intervaled time with Elain.

"Should we—does she need?" Lucien murmured to Feyre, eyes still fixed on Elain 

"She doesn't need anything" Shaera spoke up her arms crossed over her chest. The youngest Archeron looked up at her 

"Tha Cauldron made you a seer," the violet-eyed woman said, matching the young girl's gaze. Everyone in the room stilled looking between Shaera and Elain. 

"Is that what this is?" The brown eyes girl asked her frown deepened. Mor's mouth parted,  the last puzzle piece fell into place 

"There is another queen?" The blonde fae spoke suddenly turning to look at Elain 

"Yes" the youngest Archeron nodded her head 

"The sixth queen, the queen who the golden one said wasn't ill..." Mor concluded 

"She said not to trust the other queens because of it" Feyre stated. Realisation was dawning on everyone's faces. Except for Shaera... she didn't know who the golden queen was. She only knew the ones whose guard she killed. 

"You stole from the Cauldron-" Feyre started 

"-But what if the Cauldron gave something to Elain" Nesta's face drained 

"What?" She breathed staring down at her younger sister.

"The Cauldron didn't want Elain to leave-" Shaera spoke up, 

"- But seeing as she didn't drown perhaps it gave her a parting gift" the dark-haired woman concluded.  Elain blinked, like everything she'd seen and heard had become clear for the first time. Shaera and Rhysand shared a look. What had the Cauldron done to her then?

"So the sixth queen is alive?" Azriel spoke up his voice, calm and steady. He started to draw circles on the base of her spine... were they still playing their game? She didn't exactly know, a shuddered breath left her lips. 

"Yes but she's cursed... they sold her — to... to some darkness, to some.... sorcerer- lord" Elain shook her head 

"I can never see him. What he is. There is an onyx box that he possesses, more vital than anything... save for them. The girls. He keeps other girls— others so like her— but she... by day, she is one form, by night, human again" The way the girl spoke with such determination as if no one could tell her that what she spoke wasn't the truth. 

"A bird of burning feathers" Feyre breathed from her seat. 

"Firebird by day... woman by night...so she'd held captive by this sorcerer-lord?" Rhysand finished, Elain shook her head 

"I don't know. I hear her— her screaming. With rage. Utter rage" she shuddered. Mor leant forward 

"Do you know why the other queens cursed her— sold her to him?" Elain flickered her gaze down to study the table in front of the sofa 

"No— that is all mist and shadow" Shaera hummed and tilted her head 

"Can you sense where she is?", her violet eyes watched Elain. 

"There is... a lake. Deep in the continent. I think it's hidden amongst mountains and ancient forests, he keeps them all at the lake" Elain's  throat bobbed 

"Do the other women have burning feathers like her?" Rhysand asked placing a comforting hand on his mate's shoulder.  

"No, their feathers are white as snow. They glide across the water— while she rages through the skies above it" Silence resonated around the room whilst the occupants took a moment to think. 

"What information do you have on the sixth queen,"  Shaera asked the Illyrian beside her. Azriel turned and looked down slightly to meet her gaze. 

"Little, she's young, somewhere in her mid-twenties. Scythia lies along the wall to the east. It's the smallest amongst the human queen's realms, but rich in trade and arms. She goes by Vassa, but I never got a report with her full name" Azriel finished, the dark-haired woman nodded. 

"She must have posed a considerable threat to the queens if they turned on her" Rhys considered 

"If we can find Vassa-" Feyre cut in 

"-she could be vital in convincing the human forces to fight. And giving us an ally on the continent" the middle Archeron finished gazing around the room. Shaera frowned 

"If we can find her-" Cassian took the words from her mouth, 

"- it could take months. Not to mention, facing the male who holds her captive could be harder than expected. We can't afford those potential risks. Or the time it'd take. We should focus on this meeting with the other High lords first" the Illyrian concluded his wings flaring slightly.

"But we could stand to gain much! Perhaps she has an army—" Morrigan stated looking up at Cassian 

"Perhaps she does,-" he cut her off 

"- But she's cursed, who will lead it? And if her kingdom is so far away... they will have to travel the mortal way too. You remember how slowly they moved, and how quickly they died" he finished eyes ablaze 

"It's worth a try" Mor snipped 

"You're needed here," Cassian said. Azriel too look inclined to agree from the way he shifted slightly beside her.

"You don't give me orders-" The blonde fae started sitting up in the chair.

"- No, but I do," Rhysand said, Morrigan frowned and sunk into the chair again, glaring.
"Don't give me that look. He's right — we need you here, Mor" 

"Scythia, I remember them, they're horse people, a mounted cavalry would travel far faster—"

"No" Rhysands eyes flared. The order was final, yet Morrigan tried again 

" there's a reason why Elain is seeing these things, she was right about the other queen turning old, about the raven's attack— why is she being sent this image? Why is she hearing this queen? It must be vital. If we ignore it, perhaps we'll deserve to fail" ah exactly the point Shaera made to Feyre a few days ago... the ex-commander sent a raised eyebrow in the High Lady's direction. Mor's words resonated around the room. 

"I'll go-" Shaera snapped her head towards Lucien. Her mouth agape slightly. He stood from the chair in the corner of the room, stepping forward slightly 

"-I'll go and find this sixth queen" Mor opened and shut her mouth 

"What makes you think you can find her," Rhys asked. Not with the intent to be rude, but from a strategist's perspective. Sizing up the skills Lucien offered against the risks. The potential benefits. 

"This eye, it can see things others... can't. Spells, glamours... perhaps it can help me find her. And break her curse-" he glanced at Elain who was studying her lap. 

"-I'm not needed here. I'll fight if you need me to. but..." he paused and sent Feyre a grim smile 

"I do not belong in the Autumn Court. And I'm willing to bet I'm no longer welcome at ho— the Spring Court... I cannot sit here and do nothing" He faced Rhysand again 

"Those queens with their armies— there is a threat in that regard, too. So use me. Send me. I will find Vassa, see if she can... bring help." Rhysand sighed 

"You will be going into human territory... I can't spare a force to guard you"

"I don't need one. I travel faster on my own-" Lucien's chin lifted 

"-I will find her. And if there's an army to bring back or at least some way for her own story to sway the human forces... I'll find a way to do that, too" Shaera frowned and looked at Lucien 

"It'll be dangerous" she stated amber mixed with Violet 

"Good, it'll be boring otherwise" a half-smile curved onto the red-haired man's mouth as he watched her. 

"I'll load you up with some Illyrian steel" Cassian exclaimed. She was sad... the one person she finally got along with decently was leaving. Rhysand crossed his arms across his chest

"I'll winnow you as close as we can get—- to wherever you need to begin your hunt" Lucien nodded 

"Thank you" 

"Are you sure?" Feyre spoke up looking to the man, he only glanced at Elain, whose face was again calm and void, she traced a finger over the embroidery of the couch cushion

"Yes, let me help in whatever way I can" Even Nesta seemed relatively concerned. Not for him, no doubt but for the fact that if he were hurt, or killed.. what would it do to Elain? The severing of the mating bond. 

"When do you want to leave?" The middle Archeron asked, Lucien, turned to her 

"Tomorrow— I'll prepare for the rest of today and leave for breakfast tomorrow morning" he then flickered his gaze to Rhys 

"If that works for you" Rhysand waved an idle hand.

"For what you're about to do, Lucien, we'll make it work" Silence fell once more Shaera was sure if he found this supposed firebird queen and she had a way to sway the humans or even an army at her disposal, then perhaps... they would win... but that's only if the High Lords agreed to fight. Rhysand jerked his chin to Azriel, the Shadowsinger glanced at her briefly and she nodded. Then he was gone, no doubt to check in on Amren. She felt cold without his touch. Rhysand then turned to Mor and Cassian 

"Find out if Keir and his Darkbringers had any attacks" they left soon after that command... right now she was alone with the three Archeron's, Rhysand and Lucien. Nesta then stood from her chair and gestured for everyone to leave. Leave Lucien and Elain alone. Shaera blinked and turned away and walked from the room. For once in her godforsaken life, she hated war.

***********

Shaera bathed and cleaned her wound, then simply spent the rest of the day by herself. She wasn't usually one to sit and stare into the nothingness in her room. But as darkness plagued the edges of her mind, past screams echoed in her ears. Nothingness was welcomed. Night had fallen and she was sat on her bed, flashes of Attan's face filled her mind, Ketzin's screams flooded her ears. They were dead. More names to fade away into the past.

"Shaera-" Azriel called and opened the door, she hummed in reply. 

"Are you okay?" the Illyrian moved further into the room and approached her bed. 

"Never better" she replied dully and kicked off her boots. 

"No you're not" Azriel whispered, Shaera froze, her shoulders slumped ever so slightly. Then he was there, he pulled her up from the bed and encased her in his arms. The ex-commander's breath shuddered, eyes watering. Her head rested in the crook of his neck, arms wrapped around his waist. Azriel rubbed small circles on her back. 

"I can feel your despair through the bond-" he whispered into her ear. 

"-you didn't want them to die" Azriel breathed. On that last sentence, Shaera fell apart. Tears ran down her face, knees buckled. The spymaster held her up. And she sobbed, she sobbed for Attan and Ketzin, Dagdan, Brannagh, Raiden, Jorah, Kyra. The innocent people she had slaughtered. Old and new sorrows flooded through the gates. Azriel lifted her, Shaera's legs wrapped around his torso as he sat down on the edge of the bed. One hand rested on her back the other on the back of her head. They just stayed there. Azriel held her as she fell apart. He stayed with her even after Shaera's sobs stopped and she found sleep in his arms. The shadow singer stayed until the sun rose above the horizon and the bird song signalled a new day.

———————————
5295
Yes, 5000+ words... I could split it into 2 chapters... but simply I can't... because I've written the next chapter already....4000 words of it.
5.2.21. Date written
12.2.21 Date published

Edit update: this chapter was too long jeeesus 😂 I only altered some wording and corrected spellings

Edited May 14th 2022: Ummm, this chapter was exceedingly long...

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