*Flashback 3 days ago*

A kid with white hair, maybe at the age of 10, stood at the sidewalk and had suspicious looking candies in a seal bag in his hands as I walk down ahead. I don't know why, but the shape and look of those candies...don't seem to appropriate for him. 

"Hey kid!" I shout out, waving my hand to catch his attention, the boy turns his head to my direction. "Good afternoon, sir."  he greets me when I stop in front of him. 

I gave him a little nod and pointed down on the candies he had. "What's that you're holding?"  

The boy looks down in his hands. "I found it in my brother's room...he said they were candies, but I don't think they are..." 

"How so?" 

"..dunno, just a feeling; but if my brother says they're enjoyable, it must mean it's true." 

...well, his brother sure is retarded, giving a child those. 

The little boy opens the seal, grabs one, opened his mouth...before the candy reaches him, I suddenly objected.

"Wait...kid. Why don't you give it to me? I don't think it's safe..."

The boy glowers to me. "Why? I'm a big boy, I can handle anything!" Then a subtle hint of hesitation appeared on him. "...What makes you say that by the way?" 

Ah, he's doubting himself; he knows that it may not be good for him. Gotta convince the little guy to give it to me.

Improvise time. I gazed at his shirt for a moment -- it had Captain America printed. An idea of a story quickly forms in my mind as I pulled a serious face and bend down to whisper 'quietly', "You see...I'm working with some super secret government project. We're inventing candies that could give people superhuman strength!"

"No way!" The little boy exclaimed in awestruck, luckily he seems to believe my half-baked story. Kids are so easy to fool...

"Yeah, but the candies were still incomplete when an evil guy stole them from our lab and is now spreading them everywhere in town. Whoever eats these candies will not get powers, they will explode and die!"

"NO!"

Perfect. He seems to be completely tricked! I smiled to myself.

"What's your name, kid?"

"...I-Isaac." he stutters out as he gives me the candies with his hand shaking.

Taking this perfect opportunity to make Isaac scarce. "Isaac, why don't you...tell your brother to stop eating these? I'll take this back to the lab."

"A-alright sir! I'll go tell him now! Please stop the bad guy as soon as possible!" he backs away and run towards the direction of his house to 'warn' his brother.

...Hehe...good thing that's over... I bowed down on the suspiciously looking candies in the seal bag and took a good look of them.

I'm 99% sure these are drugs...

...

...I know I'm not supposed to consume them because they might ruin me in the future...but I'm dying anyway. I ate one or maybe three candies from the bag before stuffing them in my bag and walked away from the scene. 

~~~~2 hours laTERRR~~~~

HEHEHEHEhehehehe everything is SOoooOOo beaUUTiiffull!! I was right to gET THoSe Candy from the kid, WOW! Why is that thingy so beaauutifuulll, it's sooo beautiful! But I think I feel a little hungry, and thirsty...realllyyy thirsty... I wanna eat a cupcake made of water with mustard and blueberries. Yes, I think I should do that...but THE SIDEWALK JUST FEELS SOO HEAVENLY for some reason, maybe 5 minutes....

"Yo, kid. You're blocking my path."

Ooooh, looook, I swirled my head to the sound of a voice of a witch thinking that it might be a witch and its a WITCH! PURPLE DRESS AND DARK BOOTS! Dark boooots...hehehe, why are they sparkling with blue? Oh everythINGS BLUE! Everything is sooo blue and beautiful, it's just BEAutiful hehehee... "Your boots are blue it's funny." HEheeheHeee blue is soo beautiful, it's such a beautiful music...blue sounds soo majestic, angelic, and just oh so pure for my sinful soul... I love blue so much....

OoOOooo O the witch is near my face and is now checking my EYEballs if they were still inTACT. Wait, are they still there?! ARE MY EYEBALLS STILL THERE?! I NEED TO FIND MY EYEBALLS I CAN'T SEE WITHOUT THEM!! Oh no, they're here in my eyes, wheRE theY. Are. Supposed. to. Be. Heeheheeh...

"Kid, are you on drugs or something?" 

"I don't know...but everytHITH's so fanfashic! Hehehehe!"

The WITCH has kaleidoscope eyes, DOES SHE...HAVE DIAMONDS?!!!??!?! I need some diamonds for STRAWBERRIES...YUM YUM! But wait...what if there are no strawberries?! What if the monsters ate the strawberries?! Ah?! AH?!!?! AHHHHH?!?!?!!

"...uh, hey, you don't look so...yourself. Why don't you follow me...Can you walk? Yeah you can, watch your step okay?" Oooh she just lift me up! So strOOOONGG!!! Heheheehe she's as tall as I am! I have a HEIGHT TWIN HEHEHEHE!! I can hear her hieghntess swimming blue too! EHHEHEHE!

"Okay, Mrs Witch! But lessssnot go for strawburrows, the monsters got to them!" I whissssssssspered an' clinged to the WITCH who looked witchly bewitched like a sandwich. Mmm, a ham sandwich sounds delicious. Just no strawberries, okay? I want blueberries, no straw berries. Just blue berries with sandwich...

"My name is Juliette, not Mrs Witch. And okay, we'll go to a diner and not eat strawberries..."

Juliette? What a pretty name for a witch! Where is HER Romeo?~ Where is MY Romeo?!?!?!?! Ohhhh riiighhht...He GOT EATEN BY THE MONSTER!! FIRST MY STRAWBERRIES, NOW MY ROMEO!! MY DEAR ROMEO!! I CaN't feel it, but beautiful blue tears has begun to dance south from my eyes to my nose and to my cheeks and down to the unknown...oh who am I kidding I'M A WALKING WATERFALL! WITH FEET! WAAAHHHHHH!!!

"Hey! Don't crying! Geez, I'm guessing this is your first time being high..."

====

Jack's perspective

One thing I learned about friends, is when you show yourself as a different person to them, sooner or later they'll ditch you for someone 'better'. 

They'll say "they've changed...they're not the person I knew them to be." as an excuse, when in truth, they just can't be bothered to save the bond you had. 

Pathetic...blaming the person who changed as if they themselves are going to stay the same, but no one really cares in the end.

That was the move I did to the Quinn twins, I started acting like the complete opposite from the Jack they knew: Bold, confident, cheery, playful. 

I took them to places the normal me shouldn't be, I bought them things normal me couldn't, and I made them experience a chaotic day they wouldn't have with the normal me.

And it was all because I wanted them to forget me; I wanted them to get unsettled by my new characteristics, find somebody 'better' or 'stable' to hang out with, and completely ditch me in the darkness. Because I didn't want them to mourn above my grave, I didn't wanna see their faces at my funeral -- in fact, I don't wanna see anyone's face when I'm buried. 

I wanted everyone who knew me to forget all about my whole existence because I was a waste of space and a disposable soul, not a single worth to anyone's time and memory.

Ever since the talk with Leslie at Ash's party, I decided that I want to be forgotten, to be completely erased from life's paper. 

I begun pushing everybody one by one; my family, my friends, Kevin...I wanted them to celebrate or feel indifferent when I die then on with their life like every passing day.

Avoiding Kevin had been surprisingly easy, I haven't seen him since and when I do, he'd be just an extra shadow in the background who never noticed me. And he would always be with his...you know.

The garden girlfriends were a little hard, they were almost everywhere I went, but good thing they never realized it was me. Leslie would sometimes stare to me, she probably remembered the mysterious guest so that may be the case. When she did stare, that'd be my signal to run away.

So while writing my signatures on the graffiti wall under an old bridge with my new gothic and temporary friend, Juliette, who was a 24 years old college student and a talented artist who took pity on me last few days ago, at the corner of my eyes arose an all too familiar blonde head from afar with someone wearing a red hat, briskly walking to somewhere I shouldn't supposed to care about. It must be them, no doubt. 

'Shit I hope they won't see me' I thought to myself, slowly shuffling deeper to the darkness. 

But with the twins' keen eyes, they spotted me as soon as they snapped whirled their heads toward the bridge. Ugh, who wouldn't have noticed me? Me and my out of color blue outfit. 

Those days all I had were new blue clothes because my old warm colored clothes were purposely boxed away...they reminded me too much of that athlete as he only wore warm earth outfits.

I tried focusing on my signatures but the sound of the twins' running legs were getting closer...and closer...and...

"Jack!" That all familiar feminine voice spoke out, the running stopped. Tsk, nuisances.  

Why didn't you...forget me already, it has been 5 days?! I've been perfectly happy wasting my life here! Sucking in the needed energy and turned around with bright and board grin despite my medical mask.

"Well, if it isn't my two favourite people!" I said in my exaggerated voice so loud that even the artist whirled her head towards us with curiosity. "Oh? Who're the cuties, Azaleas?" Juliette's sweet sickening voice cooed behind me. 

"These are the twins I hang out at school." the college student didn't know I dropped out, she thought I was still a high schooler and I was perfectly normal and healthy. Didn't bother telling her about my disease, because what's the point? I surely don't want to see her face when I die.

I gazed my attention back to the twins, the usual bright light in their ocean blue eyes were replaced with darkness and apprehension; Hannah, who was crossdressed as a boy, appeared as if she just stopped crying with her red and swollen face while Pax appeared to be...pale, pained, and agitated, like the angel of Death came and just took their heart with bare hands.

'Were they alright?' Seeing them like that had worry hit me like a tidal wave, but I didn't express it...I shouldn't be concerned, I was trying to push them away after all. 

Clearing my throat and tried to keep my act together. "So...what brings you guys here to the great under bridge of Valendale?" The words were said in a sing sang tone, turning back to my masterpiece of signatures and avoided their gazes.

"You're dying, aren't you?"

Pax's low, dead, stoic, tone and the aggravation through their teeth. Oh in just those 4 words made me flinch, there I knew what they were talking about.

They did it...they really did it, goddamnit. Ugh...God...should've known this would happen knowing the twins' detective tendencies to snoop around anything out of the ordinary...this is what someone gets when they got too caught up the idea of them being another basic come-and-go friends.

Everything around me stopped; Juliette's frantic bombs of questions became inaudible muffles and I could only focus on the broken blonde teen even if I didn't have the confidence to face them. 

I let my head bow. "...You investigated a territory you weren't supposed to."

"'Weren't supposed to' my ass! You were coughing out dandelion petals for roughly a week now and you didn't tell us!" Pax yelled as their voice trembled slightly, it made my stomach dropped and my lungs to started to ache. 

Seeing or hearing them being in pain like this and it's because of me made me feel sick... my self-hatred couldn't get any worse than that. 

Why did you care for me...? What made you think I was worth your concern?

"And that I did. Your point?" I tried to remain as stoic as possible, but each second passes,  guilt retched up inside me.

"Why you didn't inform us sooner? Were you even planning to tell?"

"Mmm, not really. No."

"...Why?"

I didn't dare to speak, the atmosphere and tension was getting thicker and unbearable by the moment; the girls went along with the silence in the background. 

My head still down, I heard footsteps dragged closer to me and a shaking hand suddenly pulled my jacket downward, forced me down to face Pax's eyes filled with pure rage and sorrow. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?!" 

They cried again, their voice raised an octave and their breathing were ragged. From the position we were in, our faces were so close, I could count the limbal rings on those two eyes...I would be lying if I said those eyes weren't to envy for.

The next moment was the one of my most painful memories...

"What's the point in telling?!" I shouted back, but there was not much anger compared to Pax's because I could never get angry at them, never at them. I was angry at myself, but it was stupid of me to pass it out like I was upset at them. "Like there's gonna be any significant changes if I did!"

"Hannah and I could've, oh I don't know, HELPED SOONER?! We could've help you find a way to live from this Hanahaki!"

"What can you do?! Who do you think you are, Paxton Quinn? You're only teenagers playing Sherlock Holmes!"

"Something at least! What if we found out you died by something we could've help to-?!"

"What will it matter to both of you if I die!?"

"You're OUR FRIEND, FOR GOD'S SAKE! WE CARE ABOUT YOU!"

"WELL WHAT IF I DON'T WANT YOU TO CARE ABOUT ME?!"

That did it.

That made them silent. Their hand once gripped my outfit as if its life depended on it had slowly loosen and let go. My stare was still focused down on those blue eyes that were now stunned and showed emotions...that were anything but fury; the rage was suddenly washed out, it was replaced with pain, dumbstruck, and confusion. 

It made my chest to contract painfully again. At that point, I felt ashamed to be the one who made one of my dear friends to be this way.

"W-What do you mean...? You mean you want us to forget you? To abandon you?" Pax's voice quickly went from a harsh, deep, almost growl tone to a soft, breathless, shaky, inaudible one. Their breathing hitched between words.

"YES! Because in the end, you shouldn't care if I die or not! I'm not a big part of your life and neither are you in mine, you two are as disposable as my life! We're only friends for the sake of being friends and you're going to forget all about me when you graduate! So why. bother, Pax?!"

Pure tense and thick silence overwhelmed the scene. Our eyes continued to lock as if we were trying to find something within the other...until Pax glanced down to the ground and backed a couple steps away. 

A hand moved their way up to cover their eyes... soon followed by soft sniffles and hitches...they're crying.

I was shocked, even Hannah was greatly surprised; Pax never...cried before, at least not to me until that day. I had always said to myself, if someone managed to make Pax cry, I would punch them and never forgive that bastard...turned out that bastard was me. And I never did forgive myself, not even in my current state.

"P-Pax?!" Hannah tried comforting her twin, but they only shrugged off her attempts and finally raised their head up to my eyes again; bit their quivering lips, tears swelled and trickled down, blue eyes were so broken and pained -- it was nothing like I've ever seen, to see Pax so emotional and so...frail. 

Their breathings were heavy, they spoke softly and so slowly with deep emotion laced in every word, "...you aren't just a friend I could mess around with, you aren't just another someone I could rely on, you aren't just another high school friend, Jack. You are...so much more...to me, to us..."

...

"But I suppose it doesn't matter to you, right?"

Each word in that one sentence made it harder and harder for me to breathe, like little daggers to my heart.

"Pax..." I could only whisper their name, my attempt to act confident left me as I was vulnerable as they were, and I could only look at them...

Slowly, they walked away, wiping their tears with their long sleeves. I thought of chasing them, to stop in their tracks and say that I still cared, that it still mattered to me...but what was the point? The temptation to do it was real, but...it was for the best...that I stood my ground and left our friendship that way...

Hannah, who was still standing there and watched her twin walk alone, whipped her head towards me, eyes burned with wrath. "Jack Azaleas, you are one big asshole. You know that?"

I glanced away and back to my wall of signature. "Go away, Hannah. Leave me be." 

Hannah huffed and turned to walk away. But before she left she spat,

"Gladly...you know? I hope Pax doesn't bother helping you after this, you're not worth it." -- the amount of venom in each word, especially the last three ones.

...you know what's funny? That moment, I learned that words have different impact depending who says it; if I said those same words to myself, it wouldn't have much difference for me. 

But when Hannah herself said it, it felt like another dagger into the heart. It was supposed to be just a mental slap in the face as neither of the Quinn twins are prone to physical harm, but it felt more than just that.

When they were finally out of sight, Juliet scowled at me like a mother about to scold her child. "Jack, what the hell was all that?! Do you mind filling me in?!" 

Before I could speak, I fell and lurched down the cemented ground with a hand on my chest. 

"Nngh!-" 

My lungs swelled, twisted and jerked like a bitch and burned like fire; it was painful, burning, aching so much, I thought my heart was bleeding and that I was going to die at that very moment because the blood gushing out was of the beating organ felt real...and before I knew it, I felt something big clogged my airway.

I began hacking out blood again and, hoping were just mere balls of petals -- ending up heaving out a big two whole bloody dandelion flowers.

====A couple of hours later====

"Tell us doctor. What is happening to him? You specifically said he will be coughing out flowers midway of his month; it has only been a week!"

My parents called Dr Maria for a house check up when I showed them the two glimmering yellow dandelions stained with stubborn blood I coughed out that were now laying on the kitchen table at that moment. 

She did some procedures with the tools she brought along as we sat on the kitchen chairs before glancing back at my concerned mother and father standing. 

"Unfortunately, the medicine I prescript could only do so much...it was made to slow down the disease but there were many reports that it could be overwhelmed by the Hanahaki if the victim was emotionally hurt by the ones they love."

...MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM-

"'The...the ones they love'?!" My mother sputtered and tensed, as if she couldn't believe it. 

You butter believe it, mama. 

"It's still up to debate," Dr Maria answered. "but many Hanahaki-illed patients were reported to had emotional fights with their beloveds so we believe that might've caused the medicine to inactive itself."

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM....

Now everyone was looking at me as if I had just mistaken grandma's ashes for coffee grounds; panicky, disappointed, and the look of disown in father's face, ouch. 

Dr Maria moved her chair closer to me, hand moved up to stroke my dye hair gently. "Did you have a fight with a specific someone today, Jack?" 

She muttered so caringly and soothingly...my mother never talked to me with so much care; I heard her talk like that  to Lucile, but never towards me...it's always the strict and distant voice...it made me  flushed lightly at the new positive action I received. 

But I swatted her hand away from me.

'I shouldn't want this, I don't deserve it.' I thought to myself, making my chest swelled up again. 

Ughh...I hated living like that.

"So what now, doctor? What's going to happen to him?" my father didn't ask this time, he demanded like the demanding old hag he was; I don't care what kind of circumstances he had, that didn't give him the right to command the doctor like that! 

Dr Maria moved her attention to the man and sighed again. "At this point, we don't know; Hanahaki is a very mysterious disease...we can only hope avoiding that person Jack fought hours ago will help his days...which are now surely reduced at this point..."

You know, that day didn't make any sense to me, I didn't like Pax or Hannah that way, but whatever. They didn't need to know that.

As soon as Dr Maria finally left, my parents came back to the kitchen, eyes bright with anger as ever. When were they not angry at me? I bet they were even angry at my funeral, Jesus...

"Okay, who the hell is she?- You know what? We don't care who she is! You're not seeing your crush ever again, you hear me?" Mother yelled, pointed her index finger at my direction. 'She?' I crossed my arms and an eyebrow raised before chuckling. 

And you'd think we were at least close enough as mother and child for her to know that I was anything but straight, it doesn't even take an idiot long to realize I liked guys. Maybe their denial was so strong that they missed the signs. 

When the small laughter escaped me, their eyebrows crossed further. "Something funny or are you just rebelling on your own parents?"

"No, no...just...nothing." I simply waved my hand dismissively with an amused smile. Mother scoffed and moved her glare to her husband. 

"Look at this; ever since this whole Hanahaki chaos, our son thinks he's better than us, like he knows himself better than we do, so he goes and pick fights with girls and gets his disease to worsen. I thought we raised a disciplined and wonderful son." 

Oh my God, do what mentality old people possessed? Does everything that not go like the way they planned they consider as 'prideful' or 'selfish'? And why were they always so quick to judge and make up stories? Had the wondrous creative imagination they had as kids molded into a tool for making assumptions and allegations?

For some reason, I could feel my lungs starting to burn and contract again, and I wasn't thinking of Kevin that time.

"He's off outside making girls cry and losing his virginity with that slut he met, Juliette, while we're here trying to find a way to save him and-"

"Then why don't you do the goddamn surgery?" I finally bit back after keeping my tongue on hold, mother had the audacity to call Juliette a slut. 

Was it because she showed too much skin than her traditional mentality could handle? Was it because she wore black lip better? No one will ever know, but what I do know was she had no rights to say that about Juliette.

Father and mother were taken aback when they heard me swore. "How DARE you swore at us, you ungrateful fucker!" Mother screeched like a damn banshee. Oooh yeah, and what? Swearing at your own kid is okay? 

"You know damn why we couldn't do the surgery! It's our vow to never-"

"And you chose to follow it, and now you're forbidding me from seeing the 'love of my life'...I think anyone with a logical brain can see that you're trying to kill me as Dr Maria said they are the only options we have to save me, myself and I." 

I hummed without a care on my tone; I didn't care if I ended up sound like a jerk. Oh did the two look offended when I finished.

And there we go, my mother stuttered and was desperate to think back of a retort. Mother, don't try, your retorts are mini reflections of you.

"I-It's because you don't know how to talk to girls! You screwed up and now your disease has lessen your days to live! You're a failure, you can't do anything right! Why can't you be like your sister, Lucile? She already won us three medal and a trophy and she's still 12! And what can you do for us aside being a burdening victim of Hanahaki?"

Typical. Bringing Lucile into the conversation even if it didn't concern the kid. "Don't worry, mom. Just wait a few more weeks and you'll have her as your only child. Actually, she always have been your only child so it doesn't make any difference." 

Once those words left me, I immediately regretted it. I heard mother gasped, offended from what I said, and stomped her foot as loud as she could. "What?! What is that supposed to mean?!" she screamed at the top of her lungs.

...it was night time, I'm pretty sure our neighbour were already asleep...if they didn't wake up from her outburst, then good for them.

That was the moment where I should've apologized...but where was I wrong in my statement? "Nothing..." that was my only reply.

Suddenly two hands slammed themselves down the table, and mom was directly yelling at my face. "No! If you got something to say, say it!"

"Honey, please calm down-" oh? Dad had been silent was now speaking out, stepped forward and gently pulled Mom away. "Why?! Why should I?! Are you taking his side over me?!" 

"No, I'd never-!" 

"Then why are you holding me back?!"

Ughh, the argument with my parent was just really ridiculous. Mother continued acting like a mental patient; she really did seem to snap when I said all those words...

I kinda felt bad about it. The more I thought about it, the more I should've apologized. What on earth was I thinking? They were still my parents, why didn't I held my tongue and let mother win? 

Pushing the people you loved away is difficult because sometimes you just have to be there to witness their broken reactions...  

...

I noticed I was half inexpressive and distracted during that time, I guess my mind was too occupied about what happened with a specific blonde...I didn't want to end it like that, but I thought if it meant for the twins to forget me, to finally move on, then I would take it as that. 

That night, I didn't sleep a wink; usually those nights with Hanahaki would've been about Kevin; thoughts and pining feelings about him...but all was I on my mind of how I hurt my own mother by talking back...and how fucking broken Pax was. 

The pain in their eyes, the betrayal, the messed up fact that I was the one who triggered them to be like that...It was more than I could handle, that memory will never not haunt me. And the fact I coughed out more dandelion flowers that night said a lot.

That had been one hell of a day.