*Flashback 2 years ago* 

My eyes landed on a small daisy blooming underneath the park bench Kevin and I were sitting. A light bulb light up as I gazed to the athlete next to me, eating away his pizza slice. Those brown eyes never seem to worn out energy and pure satisfactory, and the pizza crumbs on the sides of his mouth were taunting my hands to wipe them off from him and just plunge into those lip and pour my heart out.

"What's your favourite flower?" I asked out of nowhere, to distract my growing desire the thought of kissing my friend. The athlete turned to me when I spoke and then took a moment to respond. 

"Mmm... all flowers are beautiful in my opinion so that's a hard one..." he muttered, lost in thought and settling down his half-eaten pizza down on its container before speaking again. His voice was so smooth and sure with his words, it always sends bundles of different kind of emotions that I didn't know existed.

"I guess the flower I wouldn't mind seeing everyday are...Dandelions."

I give a him a weird look before smirking. Really? Out of all the plants, he had to choose dandelions?  "Kevin, Dandelions are weeds."

He rolled his eyes and nudge me playfully. "I don't care what you or anyone says; it's still a really beautiful plant regardless of its label and I will never get tired looking at them till the day I die." 

His eyes full of joy suddenly twinkled with an idea. 

"...and at least people can eat them unlike you Azaleas, your last name is literally one of the most poisonous flower existed. No one would wanna try to take a bite out of you." the athlete retorted with a proud grin.

Pffft, is that really the best he could do? That was horrible. We both laughed for a whole minute. After we've had our laughs, I wiped the tears on my eyes and replied without thinking clearly, "I don't think I taste good anyway."

His eyes twinkled again, another idea seemed to have popped in his mind when he heard my response. "Oh really?" he raised an eyebrow and then grinned again -- this time, a little more mischievous than before. "I think I'll be the judge of that." 

"Wait what-" 

before I could finish my sentence, I saw Kevin advancing towards me. 

Woah, hey! Huh?!? 

I started moving away, but as I did, he moved even closer to me. My cheeks started heating up when his face were only centimeters away from mine. 

"H-HEY NO- KEV- NOOO!!" And after attempting to scoot away so far, I found myself falling out off the bench and onto the dirt with my arms breaking the fall. I know it was just my arms, but Jesus on a breadstick, that still hurt!

Rubbing my elbows, I gazed upwards to see Kevin laughing at my accident. I looked down to the ground in embarrassment; If I wasn't blushing like a tomato already, then I am now. 

Ugh, I just made a fool of myself. Really Jack, can you not embarrass yourself every second? He must think you're clumsy and now. So mortifying...

"Relax, Jack. You just fell, it's normal." he spoke out of nowhere, as if he read my mind. I glimpse up again to see that he was looking down to me with a soft and comforting smile, the sunlight made him look like an angel from the angle I was in. 

I knew I shouldn't say something back, but my insecurities got ahead of me: "but...falling is embarrassing."

"Yeah they are, but they don't mean anything, it happens to everyone. You can stop self-beating yourself now..." 

He offered me his gentle hand and I...hesitantly took it.

====

It was one of the horrible sensation I had ever felt, it was almost as if I just coughed out hairballs like our late cat Frankenstein, and when I said that it was the most disgusting thing I ever coughed, I meant it. It left my tongue a very disgusting and slight metallic taste that stubbornly won't go away even with the freshest mint gum. 

To those who're wondering what was the taste like -- imagine putting barbecue, ketchup, apricots, candy corns, and chocolate ice cream on plain yogurt, and mixing them with hot sauce as the garnish. And don't ask me how I knew how that tastes like, I'd rather have that memory erased in my brain. Poof.

The girlfriends helped after they saw me choking out the petals and bits of blood. They led me to the nurses' office since I was suddenly heating up and they showed the nurse petals as proof of my well-being. Don't worry they washed them thoroughly!

But the nurse went "oh that's probably just from your gardens," and gave me an ice pack like she'd always do. "Put it on your forehead and get to class" yadda yadda...

That whole day, my head was burning so high the ice melted into a bag of water within a matter of minutes, my throat heating up, and my chest tightening in a suffocating way. And the fact I puked out flower petals even when I didn't recall eating any flowers or herbs, scared the living shit out of me. 

Where did they come from? What just happened to me? One minute I was shock about Kevin's love life status, and now I was worried about what the hell did I ate during breakfast.

The gardening girlfriends kept their eyes on me all day, they even interrogated me at the back of the building after school ended. Leslie went from a chill British transfer Freshman to a concerned mother in seconds.

I didn't get half of what she said to me but some of her questions could be easily translated as "did you eat something?", "didn't you chew your flowers correctly?", "when did this happen?" while Bianca was panicking behind her...she said she has never seen petals so unforgivingly perfect and dazzling with stubborn blood stains that wouldn't wash out? I also didn't get most of what she said, I was too focus on the burning heat and my mind started to fog...

...I passed out at the very spot, landing on Leslie's back. That poor kid, strained to lift a Junior with her skinny Freshman body.

====

I woke up in my bedroom, already tucked in. My room's air conditioner was on and I had an ice bag on my head with two comforters stacked onto me. Was I burning up that much? What time was it? How long was I out?

My annoying little 12 year old sister, Lucile, came inside my room along with our mother. Mother fed me chicken soup she brought and explained that I was having a high fever, and a boy named Kevin saw my unconscious body so he took action and carried me home, and that I should be taken to the hospital tomorrow for check ups- wait speaking of Kevin, HE BROUGHT ME HOME?!

Ohhh I could just imagine how awkward the introduction was. My family didn't know my friends...or didn't care if I had any, I've talked about them countless times but I don't think they cared enough to listen. 

This one time I've commented something about Pax's favourite outfit, and mother replied with, "Is Pax your science teacher?" despite the fact I've been telling her about the twin for MONTHS!?! Christ...

...I wondered how the athlete carried me back, did he picked me up bridal style? If only I could remember how his biceps felt like around my- no, no, stop thinking. He's taken! My body started shrinking back in my bed with embarrassment.

What did he think of me after that?  He probably thought I was a weak, worthless and waste of space who couldn't even handle a mild fever...which was entirely accurate. 

I could no longer face the guy- actually, even if I could, my feelings wouldn't let me because...it just hurt. I could feel my chest swelling up again at the thought of seeing him all mushed up with another person.

Mother and Lucile showered me with hugs and kisses before letting me rest the whole day; it was...weird, really weird to say at best. 

They never do that to me, no memory was recalled the last time Mother hugged me or Lucile being affectionate without any strings attached...

It was nice, but weird. Weirdly nice. But I knew they just did that because I was sick, if I weren't then they'd just ignore my existence like they do everyday. I could feel my chest tightening up again...

====The next day====

Tomorrow came fast, I hadn't had much sleep...too busy tossing in my bed, and all what was in my hazy mind was the memories I shared with Kevin, and his infectious smile under the sun, his corny jokes that never fails to make me grin, his genuine concerns whenever I beat myself up, and the way he makes me feel safe and warm...

The more I thought of him, the more I felt something my respiratory system growing and clogging inside. 

You should've seen my parent's concern and confused reaction when they saw small piles of bloody yet dazzling petals around my bed. It was utterly priceless.

After a couple of restroom breaks for me to cough out the annoying petals that were seemingly increasing over the hours, we got to the doctor's clinic.

 A doctor in her 30's with the tag name 'Dr Maria' had me lay down on the clinic bed, she examined my burning fever and the petals we brought as evidence of my sickness. 

After several medical procedures, she finally concluded my illness and declared in a very hesitant voice: 

"Jack...you have a bad case of HanaHaki Disease."

Father, mother, and Lucile seemed just as confused as I was. Hana-what? What does she meant? The doctor caught our confused expressions and explained in details. 

"HanaHaki is a disease where someone begins coughing up flower petals because they have unrequited feelings for someone; it is a painful, slow disease that begins with coughing up a few petals, and grows in intensity and pain until the victim is coughing up entire flowers, then flowers growing on their face, at which point the disease has reached its final stages, death by suffocation."

...

...dead thick silence filled the atmosphere, only the dusts floating around the room appeared to be having a good time. 

My family had their faces as if a tank just ran over our car. Everyone in the room stared at me with pitiful and sad faces, our parents appeared as if they were about to cry, cupping their hands to their face and leaning against the wall. 

Wow, That's the first time I've seen them concerned for me in a long time, I was starting to think they didn't care about me anymore... 

Well. I was still their son regardless, they had every right to feel that way; their son, who they had been raising for 17 years through hardships of life, was going to die for a mere highschool crush. I was and still utterly pathetic, aren't I? 

"Oh..." That was the only thing I said before staring blankly in space with my mind processing the information; it held no emotion or meaning, it was just something to disrupt the buttery thick atmosphere. 

'Dying from HanaHaki...I'm gonna die from this unrequited love disease huh?' I thought...

...then mentally chuckled. 'At least it's not cancer!' And then, out of everyone's expectations, a wide grin was shown on my face, "Does this mean I get an excuse to skip school?"

Everyone went quiet once again before Lucile had let a nervous laugh, father face-palmed at my question, and mother visibly fumed with anger, veins grew on her forehead. 

"Be serious right now, this is your life on the line! You're going to die from flowers growing inside you and all you're thinking about is school?!" she shrieked.

Yes. Yes I am.

I lazily shrugged at my mom, and turned at Dr Maria. "Does this mean I won't have to go to school anymore, ma'am?" I queried with a raised eyebrow. 

The doctor sighed at me disapprovingly and walked towards her desk. Hey, it was a valid question, who wouldn't be curious?

"Given with your burning fever and the amount of petals you've choked out the past hour, I'd say you have a considerable excuse to drop out." Dr Maria mumbled out.

YESSSS!! I fist pumped the air happily! Finally, no school for...wait, when's the deadline?

Before I could ask the doctor, my father had beat me to it. "How long does Jack have left to live?" 

She continued writing while she spoke again, not glancing up. "His current wellbeing states only a couple of weeks, however I will make a prescription to reduce his fever and extend his days to a month." 

Dr Maria finished and gave him a paper of unreadable handwriting. Doctors and their handwritings, really. 

"I...is that all you could give our son? A month? Is there any permanent cure for HanaHaki?" Mother pleaded, begged at the doctor. 

Dr Maria took out some notes from her drawers.  "There is known to have 2 cures; one is having the other to love the patient back, and the other is to forcefully remove the flower with surgery, but this cure procedure often means that the patient will lose their feelings for the person they love, and possibly all the memories of them and the ability to love again."

Color visibly drained from mother and father. 

Surgery? Oh, that's bad for my parents, my family believed that surgery is to be the root of evil and vowed to never left them or their children to have one. 

But since they didn't know the the guy I was dying for literally came to the house, I wondered how they had solve that problem. 

Me, on the other hand, knew that there is no chance of me having Kevin to feel the same, accepted the fact I was meeting death in a month and acknowledged that I better start living my life. 

I had been wanting to die for as long as I can remember and just didn't have the guts to end my life, at least this way it's not from suicide, but a disease.

From that day forward, I was going to live my life like never before; I promised myself I will be going out late, try new activities, and many more before the clock ends. 

I smiled to myself and bounced in seat with exhilaration.

I was going to do what I had always wanted to do. And no one was going to stop me!

====The next day====

Date: 2012 April 20 - 27 days remaining

Woke up late in my comfy pajamas feeling like I had won the lottery ticket, mother and father already bought the pills in Dr Maria's prescription so my fever faded away within a matter of hours and my days have extended to over a month despite my objections. 

I sat on the edge of my bed, looking around my room while talking it all in...had that MCR poster beside my drawers always been that way? 

Anyway, my mind couldn't believe I was about to die soon; my burden to my parents would finally be over, Lucile will be the princess of the household without some jester pestering her around like she always wanted, my friends would be able to find a cooler and smarter person to spend their time with, Kevin would be free to date anyone he likes without my feelings getting in the way, everyone would be happy.

As I visualized everyone's happy faces with me finally in my death grave, my chest began to ache again, the feeling to cough out more petals is threatening to leave my lips. 

Maybe drinking something high with acid to drown the sensation would be effective because adults do that when they're not feeling good. Or maybe some alcohol? 

I considered asking dad for permission- but you know what? Screw that old man. He never bothered throwing a single glance growing up; he only cared when I mess things up, so why should I care about what he was going to think in my final days? 

He could continue ignoring my ghost all he wants when I die!

So I went downstairs to steal his Jack Daniel's. And then, shall I seize the dayyyy!