29 - Syianne

There are hordes of people crowding the plaza, shop windows are smashed and several rail cars are in flames. The central mob is concentrated on something that isn't us, something which I can't see, but then the people closest to us notice us — notice me, in my stupid Zephyr uniform, and like zombies, they begin turning towards me.

A flaming object is thrown at me, hitting my shoulder and then rolls down to the ground at my feet. I have enough time to register that it's only a glass bottle with some yellow-tinted liquid inside and a burning piece of cloth stuck up its neck before Artus pulls me away and pushes me on the ground, throwing himself on top of me. Flames erupt all around us as the bottle explodes, and Artus's screams split my soul. He rolls off of me and onto the ground trying to extinguish his burning shirt. He manages to take it off and stomp off several places where his pants have caught fire.

But then the mob closes in around me and I can't see him anymore. I hear his voice calling my name growing fainter and fainter. I'm surrounded by a circle of people who hate me but are afraid to touch me. A girl, the same girl from before, breaks through the circle and hurtles herself on top of me, her nails digging into my face and neck. I try to kick at her, but my legs are too short. She clutches my hair and drags me up to my knees. "This thing tried to kill my brother!" she screams, giving my head a shake. I kick my foot behind the girl's knee making her leg buckle; she loses balance and falls, her grip growing feeble enough for me to pry my hair away from between her fingers. As I begin to stagger away someone kicks me in the side and my body smashes down onto the ground again.

I roll onto my stomach and everything is blurred by the tears in my eyes and the pain shooting through every nerve in my body, "NO! STOP! PLEASE!"

They close in, thirsty for my blood. I curl into a small ball, cradling my head between my arms and shut my eyes. They don't attack me all at once, they're still afraid to approach. Maybe they're scared I'll do some magic. But I have nothing to protect me, I'm just a girl.

I'm so sorry Artus, for putting you in danger. I'm so sorry mother and father, for not being a child that can be easily loved. I'm sorry Cello, for confusing you, for deserting you. I'm sorry Risa Medrick, for envying you, I'm sorry Minty, Tiger, for running away from you. I'm sorry Fellin, for not having time to get to know you. I'm sorry Sagastus, for ever fearing you. I'm sorry to die. What a waste it is to die this way.

One person kicks my right shoulder, and then the dam that held the violence back is breached and the kicks come from everywhere. Someone grabs me by the hair in a bone-hard clutch and then another hand forcefully pulls my arm away. "Cut off her thumb!" calls the girl from before. I struggle to pull my hand back, but the grip that holds is too strong. My fingers are closed into a first, a big hand pries them apart until my thumb is held separate, I feel the blade of a knife press against my skin.

I scream.

A strange noise makes me open my eyes; something explodes through the crowd, sending people tumbling onto each other.

A big black bubble opens its wide mouth and swallows me.

*

"Syianne."

"Syianne, it's alright."

My eyes open but all I see is a blur. I can't make out anything. A cool hand touches the side of my neck, and I try to squirm away from it. Something happens from the touch of skin on skin and I feel a bright healing clearness flow into my body. My eyes begin to focus. I carefully move my arm away from my face and lift my gaze. I'm still lying on the long paving stones of the plaza. There's someone crouching beside me, a man, and behind him I can't make out the crowd, I can't see anything.

But even before his face comes into focus, I discern the distinct black and white Zephyr uniform that he's wearing. "Can you move?" He asks, and this time I recognise his voice.

"Leolan?" my voice comes out as a windy wail.

"Syianne, do you think you can move?" his voice is soft and patient, very unlike the man I met a few days ago. "Where are you hurt?"

I hurt everywhere, but I don't say this. I bring my hand to my face, it's still whole, my thumb is still there with only a thin, red scratch marking where the knife had touched by flesh. I try to sigh with relief, but there's a strong pain in my side. Slowly I begin to unravel myself, but as I try to sit up, the pain becomes a powerful jab and I grunt, bringing my hand to my ribs.

"It hurts there?" Leolan's touches the back of my hand and a swift cool wave rushes through me, reaching my side. "Anywhere else?" I feel the relief instantly.

"I need a moment," I manage to breathe out. I knew nothing about pain until now.

"Take your time, there's no rush. Those bastards won't be leaving soon though; it'd be easiest if we could just walk away."

I don't understand what he's saying at first, until I look up, past him, and see. Those people with the masks are still there, but they're standing behind a veil of dark mist and cannot move forward. Leolan and I are inside a circle, a bubble of protective darkness. I see their expressions as they talk with each other. They are agitated and waiting for the mist to evaporate.

"Why is this happening? Who are these people?" I ask.

"They're just people doing what people do."

I am so confused and Leolan nods his head. "You've never heard of the Rockdem riots? It happens whenever there's a financial crisis — the Humane Advocates march against the Zephyr. It's normal here in Rockdem. According to these people, we're not human enough to be considered humanely, we're a blemish on Medanese society. Everything that goes wrongly, every bit of human suffering in the world is somehow our fault. If it were up to them, they would be glad to pass a death sentence for every Jewel that is born. They are the embodiment of hate, distrust and fear that all of Meda feels towards us."

That look in people's eyes whenever they saw me, was it fear all along? Such a small difference between me and them, I never imagined it was possible for it to breed so much hatred. Maybe someone like Leolan who is experienced with these things would tell me that all the signs exist, but there are still people on the outside world whom I love — it's hard to believe people could rage to such an extent.

I slowly begin to move my body, trying to figure out how I'm going to stand up  while causing myself as little pain as possible. Every movement is an experiment."Did I," I pause, afraid to ask, "Was I the trigger of this riot?"

A shadow crosses Leolan's face; he shakes his head, sighing. "Three others were attacked. One of them was killed, but the other two..." his voice trails away for a moment; he shakes his head, "will probably die in the next couple of days."

Leolan offers me a hand to help me to my feet. I lean most of my weight on him before I raise myself, my eyes are filling with tears of pain and dark spots blot my vision. I feel embarrassed to be leaning against him like this. "We'll have to take better care from now on, especially the Undefined. The Humane Advocates know that Undefined are powerless. Minty and Tiger are escorting Cello over to our team's mansion as we speak."

"I still don't understand how this suddenly..." I murmur. As we walk, the bubble moves with us - we are always at its centre. Someone died tonight. A Jewel died tonight. If Leolan wouldn't have come, they would have hit me, cut me and ripped me apart.

I almost died tonight.

A chill creeps up on me from having stood so close to death, I shiver against Leolan and he pauses his walking, his arm snaking round my shoulders, steading me — or trying to comfort me.

"There's nothing to understand." He sounds exasperated. "The people of Meda have never understood the importance of the Zephyr; they see us as a liability on society. A hindrance to the otherwise perfect empire. They also know we have power, enough to lord over them, which is what they're most afraid of."

"Can't anyone stop them or make them understand?" I'm probably being naive for thinking the solution could ever be so simple.

"They will all come to understand very soon," Leolan says. Most of the crowd is scattering, only a few now follow our bubble as if they expect the mist to dissipate at any moment. "The Zephyr itself is preparing to go to war."

"Who is the Zephyr going to have a war against?" In all of the history of the Greater Meda, there had never been a war. The Medanese Empire had been built with financial schemes and technological advances, while the primate countries had slowly, but steadily shrunk back. Meda holds its ground for 800 years without a single Medanese mother weeping for her soldier son gone to war. Leolan leads me forward, but doesn't answer my question. A chill runs up my spine.

"Your boyfriend is fine, by the way." I am shaken at Leolan's words.  "He was taken to a hospital, but his injuries are minor."

I don't reply to this, feeling stiff with shame. I hadn't even considered him. Artus had risked his life to protect me and I had been occupied with myself.

"My advice to you, Locke," Leolan smiles down at me, "let him go, you're in the air and he's deep underwater. There's not a reality in which this could work."

"I know." I will never see him again.

*

We don't talk about the Humane Advocates or Artus as Leolan lets me ease into a rail car that takes us to the Zephyr. One of the domes serves as a hospital for Jewels. A short man leading a wheelchair waits for us next to the main gates and wheels me to the Healing dome. The next thing I remember is lying on a bed as I get scanned and examined not by medical equipment, but by different colours of magical energy. The healers dress me in a hospital gown and wash my bruised body. They're calm and professional, speaking in hushed voices, doing their job with concentration and giving no attention to anything but that.

Finally, I'm left alone and doze off. I wake when a middle-aged man in a blue surgeon's outfit, with a brown Jewel and a grim expression walks in. He pulls up a stool and sits by the bed. He silently reads through something in the tablet he is holding before looking up at me.

"Miss Locke," he speaks slowly in a drawling voice as if he's bored and his tongue is numb, "my name is Rebrut Gridemok, I'm the Head Healer round here. I'm just going to perform the final examination." He shines a white light into my eyes as a wave of brown energy passes over my body. "Good, they did an excellent job with you. You'll be fine. I wish I could say the same thing about the other two, were they acquaintances of yours? Seran Mettlrick and Jika Briggness?"

I can't help but notice the past-tense, "I don't know them," I answer.

The Head Healer shrugs his shoulders, "I guess not many do, they worked at the Zribble Factory. Poor boys. Anyway, let's see, your three fractured ribs have been healed to 73%, you will still feel pain so I'll subscribe some pain medication; they did a spectacular job on the bruise on your kidney, 89.03% healed. Scratches on your skin have been healed with no scarring, what else? Hematoma on your lower back has been reduced by 56.61%. They'll try to treat it again tomorrow -- you'll suffer pain for about a week though. Be careful not to exert yourself during this time. Any questions?"

"Will I be able to Plunge?"

"When is it scheduled?"

"This Friday."

The healer smiles a mirthless smile, "That should be fine." He rises to his feet, hanging the tablet on the wall by my bed. "I will allow visitation now. You're allowed to drink water and eat Zribble soaked in hot water for today. We'll review your diet again tomorrow."

The Head Healer opens the door to leave and I see a pale-faced Cello standing in the doorway. Gridemok nods at him as he charges into the room. "Syianne!" He nearly stumbles into my bed and I'm already reaching out for him before I can stop myself from doing it.

He holds me in a gentle embrace, probably afraid that I'll break. I really want to cry, but I simply can't. No matter how much I squeeze my eyes, there's a lump of sadness in my throat but no tears or sobs.  As I bury my face against his shoulder, I vaguely notice that there are more people peeking behind him, but I let myself forget about everyone else as I let his warmth drift into my body, and his familiar smell assail my senses. As long as he's next to me, I can stop feeling troubled.

"Cello, move over and let me see Annie!" Minty cries, Cello moves aside and I notice that she's actually weeping. She slides her arms around me the moment Cello lets me go, "Annie, how could something so dreadful happen? You must have been terrified. I was so worried about you! I set up your stuff in our room, you'll love it. The bed is really comfy and we have the best view. I'm so excited about you coming to live with us."

"You're choking her, Minty," Cello says, and although he tries to laugh, there's a nervous tremor in his voice.  "Give her some air."

Minty releases me slightly and looks into my face. Her blue eyes are magnified by her tears. She lets out a sob that sounds like a strangled kitten and hugs me tightly again, "Annie is so adorable and innocent. It's just heartbreaking, what happened."

"She's okay," Cello retorts, "or was, until you've nearly strangled her."

"I'm fine," I manage to say over the sound of Minty's dramatic sobbing. Even though she's holding me tightly, she's not much bigger than I am and she feels rather light. My eyes move to the third person standing in the little room. When he notices me looking at him, he steps forward, his bottom lip trembling.

"Fellin, not you too," Cello groans, "both of you are such babies."

Fellin wipes his eyes, his tears are somehow adorable, yet softly dignified at the same time. Crying doesn't make him less of a man. "I just... when I heard... I...I... And then..." he hiccups, "just now... I was really frightened.... And I thought... Anyway, I'm so relieved."

I can't help it; Fellin surprises a smile out of me. I feel strange. On the one hand I'm stretched out thinner than I have ever been, my fears and anxieties overwhelming me.

And on the other hand, a strange balloon of comfort swells inside my stomach. I'm not completely certain, but I think that these three people may actually be my friends.

Even though I have a lot of love to give, I've always held back. And though I wanted to have many friends, I never gave myself permission. I have lost many things coming here, but in a few short days I finally have real friends.