Air: *flips table*

Nightflyer: What-

Air: *punches a wall*

Nightflyer: Why-

Air: *grabs Kelp and violently shakes him*

Joy: Let him go please!

Air: *shoves Kelp away*

Air: FUCK. YAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nightflyer:....Everything okay?

Air: FREAKING FLIPPING FUCK YEAH IT IS!!!!!!!! I HAVE A NEW GRAVE TO DANCE ON!!! JACK! IS! THE! FUCKING! BEST!!!!!

Air: *screams*

Rainkeeper:......Sooooo supernatural had a new episode...?

Air: ANDDESTIELWENTTOACOFFEESHOPANDITWASREALLYCUTEOHMYCHUCKIMFREAKINGOUT!!!!

Nightflyer: I would say calm down, but that ain't gonna happen.

Air: HELL NO IT AIN'T!

*players appear*

Air: OH MY MOONS, OH MY MOONS, OH MY MOONS.

Nightflyer: Air, how about you do some laps until you calm down.

Air: OKAY! *starts sprinting around the room*

Players:.........

Moon: Okay, so Air's normal, what about the rest of you?

Joy: We good.

Seashell: We Gucci.

Joy: Get out.

Seashell: *leaves*

Kelp: Sooooooo ship time.

Rainkeeper: Adventure time?

Air: HUNTING TIME, C'MON GRAB YOUR SALT!

Rainkeeper: SIMPSONS TIME! RUN, DON'T WALK. YOU MIGHT EVEN HEAR MAGGIE TALK.

Rainkeeper: With Bart the boy and a dog named Homer, and jokes written on signs, it's Simpsons Time!

Joy: Except that it's not Simpsons Time.

Rainkeeper: Awwww

Joy: It's GAY SHIP TIME!

Umber: I was summoned?

Carnelian: Why do you assume every gay thing has to do with you?

Umber: Because it does.

Carnelian: NO, it doesn't. When Qibli and Winter got married, that had nothing to do with you.

Umber: Yeah, but I'm the one who made them rainbow wedding rings.

Winter: He did.

Qibli: I still have mine. They're beautiful.

Moon: He gave them to me and Kinkajou when we were forced to get married too.

Kinkajou: It blends right in with my scales.

Carnelian:........

Umber: BOOM.

Turtle: What gay ship is it this time?

Seashell: OH! I PREPARED A PARODY SONG FOR IT!

Joy: Oh dear moons.

Kelp: Let's here it.

Seashell: Just start singing Thunder by Imagine Dragons.

Hosts:........

Rainkeeper: DONE.

Joy: Just a young gun with a quick fuse

Rainkeeper: I was uptight, wanna let loose

Kelp: I was dreaming of bigger things, And wanna leave my own life behind

Air: Not a yes sir, not a follower

Nightflyer: Fit the box, fit the mold

Joy: Have a seat in the foyer, take a number

Kelp: I was lightning before the-

Seashell: FLUMBER. 

Seashell: Flumber, Flumber.

Seashell: Flu-flu-Flumber

Seashell: Flumber, feel the flumber.

Seashell: Moonbli and the flumber, Flumber

Umber: Please stop.

Seashell:....Okay....

Joy: We need Flame and Umber to do seven minutes in heaven.

Umber: HELL YEAH!

Kinkajou: What about the rest of us?

Rainkeeper: Oh, I'm so glad you asked.

Nightflyer: *dumps down a huge stack of papers*

Seashell: You'll all be getting divorced.

Players: WHAT?!!!??

Kinkajou: NO!

Qibli: HELL NO, I LIKE BEING MARRIED TO WINTER!

Moon: What about me?

Qibli: Yeah, you're cool too!

Moon:.....Wow.

Turtle: *clings to Kinkajou* NEVER! YOU CAN'T BREAK US APART!

Winter: *grabs a pen* Where do I sign?

Qibli: *smacks the pen away*

Qibli:  NO!

Winter: IT'S MY CHOICE!

Umber: Are you guys gonna summon my lover or what?

Seashell: *snaps talons*

*Flame appears*

Umber: Hey there, sweet thang.

Flame: Umber.

Umber: Wanna go make out?

Flame: Ew, no.

Carnelian: Ugh, YOU KNOW YOU DO, SO JUST GO.

Flame:.....Okay, maybe.

Umber: *waggles eyebrows*

Flame: Okay yes.

Umber: *drags him into the closet*

Joy: Okay, divorce time. 

Nightflyer: Sign here, sign here, kiss me here, initial there.

Air: What?

Nightflyer: Cookie Kwan! Realtor. Number one on the West side.

Moon: Ugh, fine, I'll divorce the boys and let them be happily married to each other.

Qibli: THANK YOU.

Moon: *signs papers*

Qibli: *shoves Moon out of the way and divorces her*

Joy: And just like that, Moonbli's divorced.

Air: Nooooooooo

Kinkajou: *signs papers*

Kinkajou: Moon, here. I didn't like being a Morrowseer anyways.

Moon: I don't think that's the right word-

Kinkajou: Yes it is, now sign the papers.

Moon: *divorces Kinkajou*

Winter: *reading papers*

Winter: HOLD THE PHONE. This says Moon and Qibli each get 50% of my stuff!

Nightflyer: That's right.

Winter: BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR!

Seashell: Then you shouldn't have sign the marriage papers.

Winter: I DIDN'T WANT TO! THERE WAS A TRIBE OF ICEWINGS FORCING ME TOO!

Kelp: Wait what?

Air: *shrugs* Not our problem.

Winter: But this leaves me with nothing!

Qibli: Not true. You get 50% of my stuff.

Moon: And a third of mine.

Qibli:.......How about we all just keep our own stuff and call it fair?

Winter: Hell no, I'm taking your camel skin blanket, I love it.

Qibli: But-

Moon: I want your earring, Qibli. Now.

Qibli: Why are you both so mean..... *hands over earring*

Kinkajou: So Moon, I'm entitled to a third of your stuff, right?

Moon: Yeah.

Kinkajou: I want Qibli's earring.

Qibli: BUT-

Moon: Dammit! *hands it over*

Kinkajou: Happy hatching day, Qibli *gives him back the earring*

Qibli: THANK YOU.

Winter: *signs divorce papers*

Seashell: Okay, Turtle, your turn. Sign here, and then we'll get Kinkajou to sign, and you'll be divorced.

Turtle:........No.

Kinkajou: Turtle-

Turtle: *sits down, crosses arms*

Turtle: NO.

Joy: Turtle,

Turtle: I MARRIED THE LOVE OF MY LIFE IN A BEAUTIFUL HOLY WATER POOL, AND I LOVE HER, AND I WILL NOT DIVORCE HER, FOR YOUR STUPID GAME OR OTHERWISE.

Kinkajou: Awwwww

Qibli: AGREED! Winter! We're staying married!

Winter: But I signed the papers already....

Qibli: I didn't, so it's not binding.

Winter: *clicks pen*

*pen turns into sword*

Winter: You better sign those freaking papers.

Qibli: I'm a bad bitch, you can't kill me.

Winter: Are you sure about that?

*seven minutes later*

Umber: *struts out of closet*

Umber: Hey guys-

Moon: *rolling in divorce papers*

Air/Seashell/Nightflyer/Rainkeeper: *trying to drag Turtle off the ground and get him to sing the papers*

Turtle: *screaming and refusing to move*

Qibli: *is on fire and running around yelling*

Carnelian: *quietly cackling a corner and sharpening pool cues*

Joy: *forcefully making Kinkajou sign the papers*

Kinkajou: *bawling her eyes out*

Winter: *chasing after Qibli with a sword*

Kelp: *doodling amongst the chaos*

Kelp: Oh hi!

Umber:.....Seven minutes. I left for SEVEN. MINUTES.

Flame: Why the hell is he so calm about this?!?!?!

Kelp: I date Joy. Stuff like this is my usual Friday night.

Kelp: *keeps doodling*

Rainkeeper: *gives up*

Rainkeeper: ALRIGHT. FINE! TURTLEJOU STAYS MARRIED!

Turtle: YES!

Kinkajou: *stops crying*

Joy: You're kidding, right?

Rainkeeper: NO. LET'S GO HOME.

Qibli: *lights divorce papers on fire*

Winter: *puts out the fire*

Winter: I'm not going anywhere until I am no longer married to Qibli.

Qibli: Alright, alright. FINE. *grabs a pen and writes on the papers*

Qibli: There. Done.

Winter: *snatches the papers and looks at Qibli's signature, which reads Screw You, Honey*

Winter: QIBLI! 

Qibli: *has run away*

Winter: QIBLI!!!! *chases after him*

Joy: So, Umber, Carnelian. Ever wanna get married?

Carnelian: Hell no.

Umber: Only if it's an open relationship. I like keeping my options open.

Joy: Got it.

Seashell: Soooooo, the wedding's next week, right?

Joy: Yep.

Umber:.......

Carnelian:........

Carnelian: Crap.