Air: Oh, this is gonna be a gross one, isn't it?

Nightflyer: Yeaaahhhhhh

Seashell: Fair warning, the males in the audience may want to skip this chapter.

Joy: NO. Let them see.

Air: But-

Joy: THEY MUST LEARN.

*players appear*

Clay: Hi! 

Air: HI!

Clay: Do....Do you have any more Chik-fil-a nuggets?

Air: No, sorry.

Clay: Wendy's?

Rainkeeper: Just their savage tweets.

Clay: Burger King?

Kelp: Nope.

Clay: McDo-

Joy: Don't even ask, we never go there.

Clay: BUT I WANT MORE CHICKEN NUGGIES!!!!!

Peril: And APPARENTLY, frying a whole chicken doesn't COUNT as a chicken nugget, so he won't eat it.

Nightflyer: *gasps* Oh no.

Carnelian: What?

Nightflyer: WE'VE TURNED CLAY INTO A JOSH!

Air: *screams in fear*

Kelp: How do you know for sure?

Clay: From now on, I will eat nothing but chicken nuggets, and the occasional cheese pizza. Everything else is gross.

Peril: But you're a grown dragon!

Clay: And thus I can make my own terms, and that's it. Chicken nuggets or starvation.

Rainkeeper: HE IS A JOSH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Air: *crying*

Clay: I WILL EAT CHICKEN NUGGETS OR DIE.

Joy: Then perish.

Qibli: Can we move on?

Seashell: Oh- you don't want to be in a hurry to get to this dare.

All: *cower in fear behind the riot shields*

Tsunami: Alright, break it to us.

Air: Oh, all the girls are spared from this, it's a guy only dare, hosts included.

Glory: YES! HA! 

Glory: NOT SUCH A TOUGH GUY NOW, ARE YOU POTTER? I'M THE CHAMPION THIS TIME!!!

Deathbringer: *slowly raises his middle finger like it was a jack in the box*

Glory: Seriously?

Deathbringer: Wha- oh! Oh I'm so sorry! I didn't know how this machine operated!

Glory: *facetalons*

Sunny: So what are the boys suffering through?

Amber: And am I excused?

Joy: Yes.

Amber: YAAAAYYYY!!!!

Winter: AM I?!?!?!?!

Joy: No.

Winter: WHHYYYYYY?!?!?!?!!

Seashell: All the guys have to experience periods.

Seashell: We apologize for any imagery that might have given you.

Joy: I don't.

All:............

Girls: *cheer, laugh at the boys*

Guys:................

Deathbringer: FUCK.

Rainkeeper: LANGUAGE!

Qibli: This.... This will not be fun.

Clay: Um......Starflight? What's a-

Starflight: NOPE, NOPE, I AM NOT EDUCATING YOU ON THIS, YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW.

Joy: Periods. You know, Shark week?

Clay: what?

Joy: Satan's waterfall.

Clay: Huh?

Joy: The Crimson Tide.

Clay: Isn't that a football team-

Joy: Your 'friend', and I hate that it's called that.

Clay: I'm still confused.

Joy: Auntie Flow? The Red Wedding? Girl Flu? Carrie? 

Clay: I DON'T UNDERSTAND

Kelp: Why did us hosts have to be included in this?

Air: Because.

Seashell: *snaps talons*

*Boys start experiencing periods*

Turtle: *instantly drops to the floor, curls up in a small ball and whines*

Kinkajou: *pats him on the head* It'll be okay.

Winter: *crying*

Moon: Are.....Are you....CRYING?

Winter: NO. NO I AM MOST DEFINITELY NOT. *wipes tears*

Winter: WHY THE FUCK AM I CRYING, I'M NOT UPSET- I'M ANGRY!!!!

Moon: Do you need a hug-

Winter: NO I NEED TO STAB SOMETHING!

Riptide: No need, I'M ALREADY BEING STABBED!!!

Tsunami: Oh quit being such a drama queen.

Riptide: IT'S LIKE MY INSIDES ARE IN A CAR COMPACTOR!!!! WHEN WILL THIS END!?!??!

Joy: A week.

Riptide: A WEEK?!!??!?!?!?!

Seashell: 5-7 days typically, unless you're one of those rare lucky ones who only have it last for 3 days.

Seashell: Seriously, whoever those women are, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but FUCK. YOU.

Joy: Also the people who don't get cramps. FUCK. YOU.

Air: There are probably many confused middle schoolers reading this right now.

Nightflyer: Well that's because the U.S.A.'s sex education program sucks and teaches you nothing!

Air: Wait, why aren't you in pain?

Nightflyer: Ibuprofen. *holds up a bottle of Advil*

Air: How many did you take...?

Nightflyer: It doesn't matter how many I took. What matters is I'M NOT IN PAIN.

Air: Nightflyer, don't be like your dad and become a drug addict-

Nightflyer: IF I DIE OF AN IBUPROFEN OVERDOSE THIS WEEK, I WILL. NOT. CARE.

Starflight: Wait there are drugs to make this easier? GIMME!!!!

All: NO.

Clay: I want chocolate. And Oreos. And chips. AND ALL THE SNACKS.

*two hours of food bingeing later*

Peril: Better?

Clay: No, now I hate myself, I'm fat. *cries and eats cookie*

Qibli: THE COMMERCIALS MADE THIS LOOK SO SIMPLE!!

Joy: Yeah, well I guarantee you no girl in any of those commercials playing basketball or on a waterslide at a water park were on their period.

Glory: How you holding up, DEathy?

Deathbringer: It's-It's like-

Deathbringer: It's like the most powerful soccer kicker in history put on a pair of cleats with spikes on the top, and he got a running head start to come up and kick me between the legs, and he's been doing that on repeat for hours.

Riptide: It's like I was stabbed, and the knife exploded into a thousand little tiny knifes that are now shredding my insides apart as we speak.

Turtle: I want to die. I want to DIE.

Joy: Oh, you can't die! Now's the time to go to school and sit through classes and go to gym class and climb up stairs and go to work and-

Clay: PLEASE STOP LISTING THINGS.

Winter: Aren't there supplies you need for this too?

Air: There most certainly are.

Deathbringer: Great! I'm broke. Where's the nearest place I can get them for free?

Girls:............

Girls: *burst out laughing*

Seashell: Newflash, boys, feminine hygiene products aren't like condoms. There's no place you can go to get them for free. You have to PAY for them, and they ain't cheap.

Clay: But what if it's an emergency and you're in a public bathroom?

Joy: You need a dime or a quarter then to feed the machine and get a shitty one. IF they even have one.

Guys: *staring in pained horror*

Air: I feel like we're just ranting now.

Joy: No, we're just releasing our inner Tara.

Rainkeeper: I.....I want to sleep forever, but that's true.

Starflight: I would go to sleep but I'M IN EXTREME PAIN *eyes water*

Fatespeaker: Want some tea?

Starflight: Yes please *cries*

Turtle: IS EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK LIKE THIS?

Seashell: Sometimes.

Joy: Sometimes the pain fades in and out.

Air: It differs for everyone.

Joy: Oh, and shameless promotion of content we love- if anyone, particularly our U.S. peeps who are gonna need it, wants to get a better sex ed than they have, get Webtoon, and read Boo! It's Sex. GREAT comic, and not about periods.

Nightflyer: *pops another Ibuprofen*

Air: YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TAKE MORE THAN 6 IN A DAY!

Nightflyer: I'm on 12.

Air: OH MY MOONS.

Winter: THIS. THIS IS WHY I WANT TO BE A BOY AGAIN.

Amber: You know, I got all the downsides to being a girl too, and I still regret nothing.

Deathbringer: CAN THIS HORRIBLE, DISGUSTING DARE BE OVER WITH YET????

Joy: Nope, you all have to suffer another week of this.

Riptide: WHY WOULD NATURE DO THIS????

Seashell: We'll put it in simple terms.

Joy: Uterus wants baby. You don't have baby. Uterus wants REVENGE.

Seashell: Every. Single. Month. For about 20-30 years.

Boys: *scream in horror*

Clay: IT GETS BETTER WHEN IT ENDS FINALLY, RIGHT???

Girls:..............

Air: Uh......YEAH, SUUUUUUUREEEEEE

Joy: Have some more Ibuprofen.