Air:......*clicks on radio*

*Faithfully by Journey starts playing*

Air: *waves lighter*

Rainkeeper: OH moons. THE FINCHEL- WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?!?!!?

Air: Ssssssssh, just let it happen.

Rainkeeper: *crying* FINCHEL!!!!!

Nightflyer: WoooooooOOOOOOoo0000000ooooooooo

Joy: FAITHFULLY!!!!

Seashell: I'm STILL YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUNG!!!!!

Rainkeeper: I FREAKING HATE YOU ALL RIGHT NOW, HOW DARE YOU.

*players appear*

Nightflyer: Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiev, Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc, Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, Dacron, Dien Bien Phu falls, "Rock Around the Clock"

Seashell: ooooo, Billy Joel!

Nightflyer: Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn's got a winning team, Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis-

Air: You shut your bitch mouth RIGHT NOW.

Nightflyer:.......*stops singing*

Winter: The 80's station is on again, isn't it?

Hosts:.......

Joy: Maybe.

Glory: What's the dare- and don't you dare start singing-

Hosts:..............

Rainkeeper: BRASS MONKEY, 

Joy: THAT FUNKY MONKEY,

Rainkeeper/Joy:  BRASS MONKEY JUNKIE, THAT FUNKY MONKEY!

Deathbringer: I have officially lost faith in our children.

Glory: Agreed.

Nightflyer: ANYWAYS, TODAY WE GET TO GO TO HOGWARTS!!!!!

Sunny: Hog-what now?

Moon: *gasps* REALLY?!?!!?

Nightflyer: AND YOU HAVE TO GET SORTED INTO YOUR HOGWARTS HOUSES!!!!!

Seashell: *snaps talons*

All: *appears in the Hogwarts Great Hall*

Nightflyer: *squeals*

Air: Awww, little Nightflyer and his wizard obsession.

Nightflyer: Did you know there's a theory that Rowena from Supernatural founded Ravenclaw because the house was formed by ROWENA Ravenclaw????

Air: HOLY CRAP NO WAY OH MY MOONS!!!!

Air/Nightflyer: *freaking out*

Seashell: Why are we friends with these people again?

Rainkeeper: Because Air's awesome.

Joy: Because Nightflyer's awesome.

Seashell:.........

Nightflyer:  HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS, HOGGY WARTY HOGWARTS, TEACH US SOMETHING PLEASE!!!!

Seashell:......Totally awesome.

Tsunami: Sooooo, can someone explain what the heck we're actually doing?

Rainkeeper: This is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. In it, you get sorted into one of four houses.

Joy: There's Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and *looks at smudged writing on hand*..... Jigglypuff.

Nightflyer: HUFFLEPUFF.

Peril: What the HELL is a Hufflepuff?

Nightflyer:..........Peril, I now promote you to my favorite player ever.

Moon: Hey!

Starflight: Dude!

Fatespeaker: Should've seen that coming.

Air: The different Hogwarts Houses value different things, so you get sorted based on your personality traits.

Nightflyer: Hufflepuffs are patient, loyal, and just. Ravenclaws are intelligent and creative. Slytherins are ambitious and cunning. Gryffindors are brave and have chivalry.

Joy: Slytherins also have the bad reputation of being evil.

Nightflyer: Which they're NOT. IT's just that most evil people happen to come from Slytherin. But the worst people don't come from there.

Glory: Like who?

Nightflyer: *growls* Wormtail, the bastard.

Seashell: ANYWAYS, to get sorted into your house, you have to wear the Sorting Hat.

Air: *holds up the hat*

Nightflyer: *sings angelic music*

Players:.........

Carnelian: That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard- and I've heard Qibli speak.

Clay: Do we get food?

Nightflyer: After everyone is sorted, there's always a giant feast, sooooo yeah.

Clay: I'm in. Let's go!

Rainkeeper: *puts the Sorting Hat on Clay's head*

Sorting Hat: Hmmmmmm, NOT Ravenclaw.

Clay: Well no duh.

Sorting Hat: You seem to like your food. It's probably best to put your near the kitchens.

Clay: I like the sound of that.

Sorting Hat: HUFFLEPUFF!

Clay: Cool.....What does that mean?

Nightflyer: It means you live near the kitchens, have access to a lot of plants and food, are a total cinnamon roll, everyone loves you and yet you're totally underrated because we all know Hufflepuff secretly throws the best parties and is running a drug cartel in their House.

Clay:....Awesome!

Joy: Who's next?

Rainkeeper: *puts Sorting Hat on Starflight*

Sorting Hat: RAVENCLAW!

Starflight: Ha! Take that!

Glory: *puts on the hat*

Sorting Hat: Oh, you're a tricky one.

Deathbringer: You can say that again.

Sorting Hat: In league with Ms. Granger and Mr. Lupin, you are..... I'd have to say.....

Sorting Hat: RAVENCLAW!

Glory: Eh, you're the hat.

Stargflight: WHAT? But I'm WAY smarter then Glory!

Glory: You just keep thinking that, buddy.

Starflight: BUT-

Glory: *pats him on the head*

Tsunami: *puts the hat on*

Sorting Hat: Brave, yet ambitious. Loyal, yet cunning. Hmmmmm.....

Sorting Hat: GRYFFINDOR!

Tsunami: Ha! I got the best house, suckers!

Ritpide: *puts the hat on*

Sorting Hat: GRYFFINDOR!

Riptide: Hello again, Tsu tsu.

Tsunami:......Nightflyer, I respect the hat.

Nightflyer: I have more respect for the Sorting Hat then I do for most of the characters in Harry Potter.

Joy: Seriously?

Nightflyer: THE HAT KNOWS ALL, JOY.

Deathbringer: *puts the hat on*

Sorting Hat: Interesting..... Loyal, cunning, chivalry, intelligence....

Deathbringer: Go on.

Glory: Really?

Sorting Hat: But a heaping pile of self loathing mixed with narcissism. Oh, that makes it easy.

Sorting Hat: SLYTHERIN!

Deathbringer:.....Wow.

Joy: So my parents are Ravenclaws and Slytherins. Good to know.

Nightflyer: Okay, so we're just gonna hover this over your head, because if the Sorting Hat burns, I'll murder you all.

Peril: Got it.

Sorting Hat:.........GRYFFINDOR!

Peril: Cool!

Tsunami: NOOOOOOOOO

Clay: Hey! Be nice, Tsunami!

Riptide: Sweet, we've got Peril!

Tsunami: EXCUSE ME?!?!?!

Riptide: Hey, you've got your friends, I've got mine.

Tsunami: *scowls*

Fatespeaker: *puts the hat on*

Sorting Hat: HUFFLEPUFF!

Clay: Yay, I have a friend!

Fatespeaker: Hufflepuff power! 

Clay: *fist bumps Fatespeaker*

Winter: *puts on hat*

Sorting Hat: SLYTHIERIN! SLYTHERIN!

Winter: Well duh.

Deathbringer:.....I'm gonna kill you.

Winter: Let's go.

Moon: *puts the hat on*

Sorting Hat: RAVENCLAW!

Glory: Yes!

Starflight: Join us, little apprentice!

Moon: Hell yes!

Qibli: *puts hat on*

Sorting Hat: GRYFFINDOR!

Qibli: Cool.

Peril: Yes! We get the best member of Qinterwatcher!

Qibli: I would so high five you if I could.

Peril: I know.

Turtle: *puts on hat*

Sorting Hat:......RAVENCLAW!

Turtle: Wait really?

Glory: Join us, Turtle!

Turtle: Okay.....

Kinkajou: *throws on hat*

Sorting Hat: Oh, you're difficult....Brave and ambitious, yet........Sunshiny.

Kinkajou: I get that a lot.

Sorting Hat: HUFFLEPUFF!

Kinkajou: YES!

Clay: Join us in the kitchens, Kinkajou!

Umber: *puts on hat*

Sorting Hat: Oh, hello Rainbow.

Umber: Greetings and Salutations.

Sorting Hat: GRYFFINDOR!

Qibli: Oh, hello.

Nightflyer: *gasps* 

Nightflyer: UMBLI IS THE NEW DEAMUS!!!!

Air: What? NOTHING CAN REPLACE DEAMUS!!!! DEAN AND SEAMUS!!!

Nightflyer: True, true..... But they're DRAGON DEAMUS!

Air: OMM YES.

Carnelian: *puts hat on*

Sorting Hat: SLYTHERIN!

Deathbringer: Join me.

Carnelian: Sup.

Sunny: *puts Hat on*

Tsunami: Oh this one is SO obvious.

Glory: No duh.

Clay: Hufflepuff, here you come!

Sorting Hat:......SLYTHERIN!

All: WHAT?!?!?!

Sunny: Eh, I can see it. 

Deathbringer: But- wait-

Winter: HOW-

Carnelian: Nice one.

Starflight: There must be a mistake!

Nightflyer: How dare you? The Sorting Hat has made like, TWO mistakes in his entire life!

Starflight: But-

Sunny: Guys, I'm a Slytherin. DEAL.

Deathbringer:....Oh, we're gonna have fun.

Sunny: Hell yeah we are. *high fives Deathbringer*

Glory: Sunny, he's still MINE.

Sunny: Your boyfriend, yes. Bodyguard with benefits? YES. Future husband? Definitely. But he's my bestie.

Deathbringer: We should have a cop show.

Sunny: WE SHOULD TOTALLY HAVE A COP SHOW.

Nightflyer: Oh, I love Hogwarts.

Seashell: Pigfarts is better.

Nightflyer: HOW DARE YOU.