Air: *about to explode*

Nightflyer: *listening to the Be More Chill soundtrack*

Nightflyer: So don't freak out and don't resist-

Air: Don't resist? So freak out? OKAY GREAT!

Nightflyer: Wait no-

Air: *screams*

Air: I'M DOING A VIRTUAL SCAVENGER HUNT WITH MISHA COLLINS'S CHARITY TOMORROW AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR IT TO START!! *stares intently at the Gish website, waiting for the list to show up*

Kelp: Hey how are you guys with math homework?

Nightflyer: I'm a super computer. I'm made of math.

Kelp:.... I thought you were a dragon....

Nightflyer: *facetalons*

*players appear*

Sunny: Hi!

Deathbringer: We're still here? Huh. I thought for sure you wouldn't force us to attend these things anymore.

Joy: Just because we'll be moving to Book 3 soon DOESN'T MEAN YOU GET TO ESCAPE.

Rainkeeper: It just means we're thinking of changing the cover to a collage of the memes related to this book. Sound good?

Seashell: Of course it sounds good. Who doesn't like memes?

Kelp: Haters?

Joy: Haters gonna hate hate hate-

Air: AND SAM'S HEART IS GONNA BREAK BREAK BREAK BREAK-

Kelp: The Hillywood show is underrated.

Nightflyer: You know what else is underrated?

Rainkeeper: Oh no.

Nightflyer: STARKID.

Nightflyer: We're going to Oregon-

Air: I wanna go to Wisconsin.

Nightflyer:....WE'RE GOING TO OREGON GRANDPA.

Nightflyer: Nooooooww the show begins.

Hosts: IT'S MORE THAN A GAME, IT'S MORE THAN A GAME, NO TWO SHOWS WILL EVER BE THE SA-AME!

Hosts: YOU COULD GO NEXT DOOR AND SEE SOMETHING PROFESSIONAL, WE WOULDN'T BLAME YOU A BIIIIT! RATHER THAN SITTING THROUGH THIS ORE-SHIT!

Tsunami: What is wrong with all of you?

Joy: There's- There's a musical playlist on right now, and it's hard to think over Broadway's catchy choruses.

Starflight: Well somebody better turn off the music or at the very least GIVE ME SOME COCAINE SO I CAN SIT THROUGH YOUR SINGING WITH HAPPINESS.

Joy: *holds up tiny back of cocaine*

Starflight: *screams*

Joy: Fetch, fido. *throws it*

Starflight: *tramples Riptide while running after it*

Riptide: Ow.

Glory: You are all horrible influences for children.

Rainkeeper: Well you're our parents, so who should we really be blaming here?

Peril: JUST GET TO THE DARE, SOME OF US HAVE A JOB ROASTING LIZARDS TO GET BACK TO.

Air: Alright FINE.

Air: We need Clay to go to the best fast food place ever.

Sunny: Dairy Queen.....?

Tsunami: Subway?

Fatespeaker: You better not say McDonald's.

Glory: Please say Wendy's, they're savages.

Air: No, it's CHICK-FIL-A!!!!

Joy: Just because their sauce is addictive doesn't mean they're the best.

Joy: But... they are the best....

Seashell: *snaps talons*

All: *appears in a chik-fil-a*

Sunny: *sees playscape and gasps*

Sunny: CAN-

Air: *standing at the top of the playscape slide*

Air: Yes. Yes you can. *goes down slide*

Sunny/Fatespeaker: *shriek and run to the playscape*

Rainkeeper: So Clay, your dare is simple. We need you to get all the food they have here, and eat it. 

Clay: My.... My dare is food?

Rainkeeper: Yes.

Clay: *punches through the fourth wall*

Clay: Thank you for this honor, mighty darers.

Random Scavenger Worker: Welcome to Chik-fil-a, what can I get you?

Clay: Everything.

Worker: I-I'm sorry?

Clay: Everything. I want all the food you have.

Worker: Sir, I don't think we can-

Clay: I want everything. All the chicken nuggets, grilled and fried, the chicken sandwiches, the spicy chicken sandwich, deluxe and regular. I want all the fries and whatever other sides you offer. I want your breakfast foods, I want your lunch specials. I want every sauce you can give me, and not just the two little packets you give everyone else. I want the full supply. I also want all the drinks from your soda machine and possibly the grease from your fryers. I want everything in this building that qualifies as food.

Worker: Do you have the money for-

Clay: I'm a dragon. 

Worker:.....Can I have a name for your order?

Clay: Of course. Put it under Gandalf.

Worker: O-okay.

*an hour later*

Clay: *gorging on every edible thing in Chik-fil-a*

All: *watching*

Riptide: This is disgusting to watch.

Deathbringer: This is the dare? Really? Watching him inhale food? Gross.

Fatespeaker: I don't know if I'm more grossed out or just impressed by the fact that no crumb has been dropped. He's eaten it all.

Riptide: How are you all not so grossed out right now?

Sunny: We're used to it.

Starflight: We grew up with him. We've had years to adapt.

Tsunami: You get used to this after awhile.

Glory: It was worse when he ate full cows.

Deathbringer: And, Peril. Somehow.... THIS is attractive?

Clay: *eating  four chicken sandwiches at once with ketchup all over his face*

Peril: *giggles* He's got ketchup on his face, how cute.

Deathbringer:..........

Deathbringer: Never let us get that way.

Glory: Of course, dear Basket.

Clay: *burps*

Clay: Now what?

Joy: You have to eat all the scavengers here too.

Clay: But- but they were nice to me... and they have their own little lives and-

Rainkeeper: Cows could have all that too, Clay, you don't know.

Clay: *looks horrified*

Joy: Food is food, buddy. Eat up.

Kelp: If you don't like it, go vegan.

Air: I could never do that.

Nightflyer: Because you hate vegetables?

Air: No. Because I love bacon....

Clay: *reluctantly eats all the scavengers*

Clay: Now what?

Nightflyer: Now you're gonna live my dream and go to the Harry Potter world for some reason.

Clay: Wait WHAT?

Nightflyer: Gotta get back to Hogwarts....

Seashell: *snaps talons*

Clay: *appears in the Hogwarts Great Hall*

Hogwarts students:.............

Teachers:...........

Ron: DRAGON!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Hogwarts: *screaming and descending into chaos*

Slytherins: EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!

Ravenclaws: *hiding under the tables* NO, DON'T RUN, YOU'LL ONLY MAKE HIM WANT TO CHASE AFTER YOU! HIDE!!!!!

Hufflepuffs: RUN TO SAFETY!!!! EVERYBODY GRAB HANDS SO NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND!!!! THROW FOOD AT THE DRAGON IF HE TRIES TO GRAB YOU!!!

Gryffindors: *brandishing their wands and other weapons* LET'S FIGHT IT!!!!

McGonagall: *facepalms*

McGongall: You're all hopeless.

McGonagall: Hello Clay.

Clay: HI! *sees the abandoned feast tables*

Clay: Oooooo, more food! *sits down, starts eating*

*platters keep refilling*

Clay: *keeps eating*

Hogwarts students: *stares in curiosity, fear, and confusion*

Hosts: *surrounded by boxes of chik-fil-a nuggets*

Joy: *eating the chik-fil-a sauce by the bottle*

Kelp: Don't you think you've had enough?

Joy: I CAN STOP ANYTIME I WANT.