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John stood over Kai's bed in the infirmary. It was late and most of the lights had been turned down. The Siege was over and almost everyone had gone to bed. For some, it was the first rest they had in days. But Kai was still unconscious and John couldn't quite bring himself to go to his quarters until he was sure she would be all right.

He glanced up as Beckett walked in. "Major," Beckett greeted with a yawn. Beckett had been attending the injured the last couple days without stop. Kai was the last to come in and she had come out of surgery less than an hour ago. He had sent most of his staff to bed, but he wanted to make sure she was entirely stable before allowing himself to rest.

"Hey doc," John said tiredly. "How's she doing?"

Beckett's face was grim. "The damage was extensive. Given Lieutenant Ford's enhanced strength I'm not surprised, but by the nature of the injuries and their severity it's clear our Kai put up one hell of a fight before she was shot."

John crossed his arms over his chest and he swallowed thickly as he thought about what Ford had done. None of them realized how far gone he was until they saw the damage.

Beckett lifted Kai's chart. "Several broken ribs both anterior and posterior. A, frankly, impressive concussion. Perforated lung, a small hairline fracture along the femoral head, and of course the GSW to her left shoulder."

John sighed and scrubbed at his face with his hands. It never should have come to this. She had been working on a jumper. She should have been safe. "She's a fighter," he finally said. Her eyelashes were thick and dark against her pale cheeks, but she didn't look peaceful. There was a small line of tension still between her eyes and he wondered if she was still in pain. "Ford needs help," he added in a low voice. He had failed them both today.

"This was extreme Major," Beckett said in a low voice.

John turned back to Beckett. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying the injuries suggest he beat her once she was down. And the GSW barely missed her heart. It was either luck or extreme skill. Either way...we almost lost her today." Beckett flipped the clip board closed and hung it on the bed. "If you don't need anything else Major, I think I'm going to turn in."

John nodded but he hadn't moved. "Good night," he called after Carson. Then he dropped down into the chair beside the bed and hung his head. All senior staff were set to return to earth in the morning for a full debriefing with the IOA. He didn't know what would happen once he got there. He could be reassigned and never come back. He looked back up at Kai's face. He wasn't ready. Not yet.

This was his fault. If he had stopped Ford before he got to the transporter he never would have had a shot at Kai. He needed to find Ford and he needed to apologize to Kai. Leaving without saying something felt...well he wasn't sure what exactly it was he felt. He pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. He was exhausted and his thoughts were taking him places he normally refused to allow himself to go.

John leaned back in his chair and yawned. He looked down at his watch. He only had another handful of hours left on Atlantis. This was as good a place as any to spend them. His eyes slowly started to droop and the steady beeping of Kai's heart monitor quickly lulled him to sleep.

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Teyla was up early the next morning. She and Zelenka would be in charge of the city while the senior staff was away and she was eager to get started on the clean up. The sooner they could return life to normal, the better for everyone. Her first stop however was to check on Kai. Kai was a hard woman to get close to, but Teyla considered her one of her dearest friends. She stepped into the infirmary and hesitated when she saw the Major fast asleep in the chair beside her bed.

Beckett stood on the other side of the room where he was prepping Doctor Biro to take over while he was gone. The stern woman had come primarily to perform medical research, although she had taken the occasional shift in the infirmary. Now, she would be the senior medical staff member in Beckett's absence and she did not look happy about it.

"Teyla dear," Carson greeted with a warm smile as he gratefully stepped away from Doctor Biro. "Anything I can do for you?"

"Well," she said, trying not to draw too much attention to where the Major was sleeping. "I came to check on Kai before seeing you off."

"Right," Beckett agreed. "Well, she hasn't regained consciousness yet, but there is no reason to doubt she won't soon. She's stable and her vitals are strong. I have a strict recovery regiment Doctor Biro will monitor. But we'll be able to have regular check-ins."

"Excellent" Teyla said with a smile, some of her concern over her friend was alieveated just knowing Doctor Beckett was comfortable leaving. He wasn't the type who would leave when one of his patients needed him. Teyla's eyes cut to the Major. She flickered them back to Carson who followed her gaze.

Beckett cleared his throat and stepped in Teyla's way, blocking her line of sight. Beckett knew probably better than anyone, possibly even the Major himself, how he felt about Kai. He wasn't willing to have it be put on display or let others judge John for caring. "The Major is fine. I was just going to wake him so he would have time to get ready for the trip home."

"Time?" Teyla asked gently. "Was he here all night?"

Beckett stiffened and crossed his arms over his chest as he suddenly felt protective of his friends. "I believe the Major feels responsible for Lieutenant Ford's actions," Beckett said reasonably.

"Yes," Teyla agreed though she didn't sound convinced. Sensing Beckett's concern she flashed him a warm, reassuring smile. "That must be it."

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Forty-eight days. John had been away from Atlantis for Forty-eight days and he had been surly every one of them. His first week back on earth had been spent debriefing the military and the IOA. Once that was done he had fully expected to be shown the door, or at least reassigned back to flying a chopper in Antarctica. Things on Atlantis hadn't exactly been done by the book and he had made more than a few mistakes. All of which seemed to have been meticulously cataloged by Sergeant Bates and Doctor Kavanagh. But they didn't fire him. Instead they handed down a surprising promotion.

The IOA loved their games and their hoops. John hated bureaucrats and, much to his fathers eternal chagrin, was piss poor at playing politics. That combined with his mouth and panache for finding trouble had led most people in the military to believe he would never rise above the rank of Captain, despite his skill, ingenuity and intelligence, let alone make Major. Now here he was a freshly minted Lieutenant Colonel with the full backing of the IOA as the Military Commander of Atlantis.  General O'Neill had patted him on the back, told him he had done a bang up job and to get to work hiring his new staff.

John had gone out and celebrated, but his heart hadn't been in it. He wanted to get back to Atlantis as quickly as possible and there was work to be done. With the ZPM Atlantis was now able to handle a greater number of personnel. Weir was nearly doubling the number of scientists which in turn needed to be supported by medical and military staff. All the senior staff members spent the next two weeks conducting interviews and expanding their teams.

Bates wouldn't be returning and it took John almost the full two weeks to find himself a suitable second in command from the list the IOA provided. Most of them were uptight rule followers who would be useless in the field. He finally settled on a Major Lorne. He was an experienced member of the SGC and had logged a lot of time off-world. Once John met him in person it had sealed the deal. The Major had a good sense of humor and asked all the right questions.

The others had spent their last week on earth on personal leave, but John didn't really have anywhere or anyone he wanted to visit. Instead he spent the time picking up some items he wanted to take back with him and hanging around the base. He helped out on a couple SG-1 missions, but his heart wasn't in it.

This wasn't home any more. 

Without a ZPM they were forced to take the Daedalus to get back to Atlantis. On earth they had received daily status reports from Teyla or Doctor Zelenka. The eighteen grueling days on the Daedalus however cut them off from even those. The first part of their journey was easy with no complications and John was going stir crazy. 

It wasn't until they arrived in the Pegasus Galaxy that they finally had something to do. A computer virus took over the ship and they lost several good people. He and Rodney had a close call with a star but they managed to destroy it, saving the Daedalus just in time.

When they finally arrived on Atlantis John was among the first group to be beamed back into the city. They were using the gate room as a landing pad. Weir had already coordinated people in the city to meet the new arrivals and get them settled.

John, Weir, Beckett and McKay all headed up the stairs to the control room together. Teyla stood ready to welcome them home. "Doctor Weir, Doctor McKay, Doctor Beckett, welcome back," she said warmly. Then she turned to John. "And, Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard, congratulations," she said with a genuine smile.

John nodded. "Thank you. Anything happen while we were gone?" he asked.

"There has been no sign of the Wraith. It would appear that they continue to believe that Atlantis has been destroyed. But I understand that your trip was not so happily uneventful."

"No," Weir agreed. "Not exactly."

"Any word from your off world contacts?" John asked, resting his hands on his hips. He had nothing to do on the Daedalus but think about Lieutenant Ford. Locating him was a number one priority as far as he was concerned.

Teyla nodded. "We have received several intelligence reports. However as of yet there is no news of Lieutenant Ford."

"I'd like to read those reports if you don't mind," John replied.

"I thought you might," Teyla said and handed over the extra tablet she had been carrying. "I prepared you this copy."

"Thank you."

Weir stepped away as Chuck approached her with reports that needed her attention.

"I also feel it prudent to tell you that Kai believes she may have some off world contacts who might be of help," Teyla reported. "However, she has not yet been cleared for duty by Doctor Biro."

John's eyes flickered to where Elizabeth was walking away. He didn't want to be overheard. "How's-?" he started to ask.

Teyla seemed to understand immediately. "She is...recovering," Teyla said soothingly. Though her eyes flickered in a way that John knew there was more to it.

Teyla stepped tactfully off to the side and John followed, tipping his head down so she could speak quietly without being overheard. "I believe Doctor Biro will be relieved Doctor Beckett has returned so she may return to her research and not..." Teyla dragged off as though she couldn't think of a nice way to say.

"Have to deal with Zian?" John asked snorting.

Teyla nodded. "Kai has been most impatient to return to work. Doctor Zelenka has insisted on a clean bill of health and Doctor Biro is refusing to give it until Doctor Beckett returns."

"And Zian?" John asked raising an eyebrow.

"She is...well she spends much of her time in the gym."

"Training?" John asked frowning. Teyla nodded. "She should be recovering. It's only been what, a month and a half?"

"She would tell you almost two," Teyla replied and John could tell there had been some tension between the two friends over this.

Another group appeared behind them and John turned towards it. "I will help get the new personnel settled," Teyla offered, lifting her tablet. "Why don't you...get some rest." She suggested although they both knew that wasn't likely to happen.

John shook his head. "I should give Major Lorne a tour myself. Help him get familiar with the city. Show where things are..."

"Like the gym," Teyla said helpfully.

"Right," John dragged out the word.

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John saved the gym for the last stop on their tour. Lorne seemed awe struck by the city and he had followed behind the Colonel asking only the occasional intelligent question. The gym doors hissed open and he could hear the contact of someone striking one of the dummies. They had brought a lot of new equipment but it looked like they hadn't gotten around to unpacking any of it yet. He stood just inside the doorway and waited, knowing she had heard him.

"And this is the sparring room," John said unnecessarily. "Down the hall there's some stairs that lead up to the catwalks. It's a mile and half loop."

Lorne nodded but he was watching Kai. John followed his gaze and gave himself permission to watch her. She wore tight black exercise clothes with her scarf around her head, leaving only her face and hands exposed. She moved through a complicated series of strikes. She had short fighting rods in her hands that would simulate knives. She sliced and spun, arcing away from an imaginary enemy.

Lorne looked impressed but John had seen her fight enough to know she wasn't at full speed.  When she tried to bring her knee up for a cross the body strike she flinched. She jerked back, her face pinched with frustration and she threw both rods at the dummy's heart with more force than was strictly necessary. The rods bounced off the dummy and clattered loudly against the floor.

Kai turned to face the two people standing in the door. She had reconized the first as Sheppard even before he had spoken, the second man standing beside him however was a soldier she had never met before. He was younger than Sheppard and shorter, with a thicker build.

"Kai Zian," Sheppard said taking a step forward between them. "This is Major Lorne."

The Major stepped forward and offered his hand, flashing a pleasant smile. "Please call me Evan."

Kai took his hand and shook it. "Kai," she replied.

John looked back and forth between them grinding his teeth. He didn't appreciate Lorne's easy smile. He cleared his throat and Lorne let go of Kai's hand, turning back to his commanding officer. "Well, that about covers it," John said. "It'll probably take a few days to get orientated, but Elizabeth is organizing more tours and I'll be briefing all military personnel at 0800 tomorrow."

Lorne nodded briskly. "Understood Colonel," he said snapping off a salute. He turned back to Kai. "It was a pleasure to meet you Kai," he said with a warm smile and he left the two of them alone.

Kai turned back to the dummy and picked up her training rods. She moved to put them away. "I hear congratulations are appropriate," Kai said without looking at him.

John snorted. "Typically yes."

Kai nodded, sliding the rods away where they went. She wasn't exactly done, but she was strangely uncomfortable around Sheppard now and she didn't exactly know why. They hadn't spoken since the Siege. Their last conversation had been out on the balcony under the shield when he had impulsively kissed her on the forehead and then proceeded to save the day.

"So far I've been unimpressed by the Colonel's I've met from your planet," she said finally turning back to face him.

Sheppard was watching her with a strange intensity to his gaze. Kai shifted uncomfortably and cleared her throat.

John noticed immediately that Kai was uncomfortable and felt bad about it. He pressed his lips together, wishing he knew what to say to put her at ease. He needed to apologize to her, he owed her that much, he just didn't know how to get there without just blurting it out. He had practiced this conversation a thousand times in his head back on earth, but standing in front of her was a completely different thing. "I hear you've been taking a run at my title for worst patient ever," he said as casually as possible.

Kai didn't respond, instead she turned to him and lifted a brow. He had something to say, she could practically feel it.

He drew in a breath and what came out of his mouth wasn't what needed to be said. "Teyla said you have some off-world contacts that might be able to help us find Ford."

Kai nodded. "I do, but I have to be able to go off-world to find out," she exhaled tightly and John could tell this had been a major issue while they were gone.

"Tell you what, as soon as Beckett clears you for duty you can tell us all about it," Sheppard replied flashing an infuriating smile.

"As ranking Military Commander couldn't you-" Kai started to say.

"Go see Beckett." John ordered sternly and he left Kai seething behind him in the gym.

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Hope you enjoyed the update!