"I'm sorry, you want me to do what?" Izuku asked in utter bafflement. There was zero chance he'd heard Chisaki correctly. 

The other villain raised his brows. Izuku got the feeling that if Shigaraki had been present, the two would have exchanged a knowing look, but the blue-haired psychopath was absent from their little meeting. "I said we want you to infiltrate the heroes-"

"Gonna have to stop you right there," Izuku said, waving a hand in front of his face as he used the other to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Do you know who I am? There'll be guns drawn the second I step foot in a hero agency." 

"You've stayed completely off the radar for years, no one has any idea what you look like," Chisaki said with a shrug. "I'm aware of your prison break seven years ago, but you've... changed since then. Surely, no one will recognize you." 

"I look exactly the same!" Izuku said, throwing his hands in the air. He knew the two villains he was working with were idiots, but this was just a new low. 

"Then find a shapeshifting quirk. Doesn't your lap dog have a particularly strong one? Can't you just use that?" 

Idiots, utter morons, complete nitwits, useless, stupid, jackasses. Most of Izuku's stream of consciousness was now reserved for trying to recall every synonym for idiot he'd ever learned. 

"I'm not doing this, but why do you want me to in the first place?" Trying to infiltrate a hero agency was a suicide mission (for anyone who wasn't him, but that was beside the point). There had to be a damn good reason Chisaki and Shigaraki were even considering it. 

"The heroes are getting too close," Chisaki explained, leaning back against the couch he was lounging on. "We thought having a guard dog would keep them off our backs, but they're getting sneaky. We need someone on the inside who can relay information to us." 

"Find a lacky without a record," Izuku said with a wave of his hand, uninterested in the undercover job. 

"We have one shot at this. The second the heroes figure out we planted a mole, their defenses will snap up, and it'll be impossible to get anyone else in. I need someone who won't get caught," Chisaki said with a lazy shrug. 

Izuku didn't miss the 'I' at the end of his speech. He always knew Chisaki would tire of Shigaraki eventually, and this was just the first slip on the steady downhill slide he knew was coming. If he stuck it out a few more weeks, the two villains would tear each other apart for him. 

Fuck, Izuku thought to himself as he came to two conclusions. He could walk out now and give the two of them a common enemy to unite against once again, or he could do what they asked and watch as they rip into each other over the smallest disagreements. Powerful people with powerful personalities could only play nice for so long. 

"A pro hero?" Izuku asked out loud without meaning to. "I just- A hero? Really? That's what you need from me?" 

Chisaki nodded his head once, his eyes giving away his annoyance. "Precisely. We have ways to get you a license and hired, all you need to do is show up and not kill anyone." 

Izuku groaned unreasonably loud as he dropped his head into his hands. "Don't bother; I have a few favors I can cash in. God, you owe me, Chisaki." 

"The favor will be repaid in spades once we have our supply chains set up." 

My payment is your head, Izuku thought as he turned for the door. The meeting was over and he had plenty of work to do. "I'll keep you updated." 

"Good luck, Midoriya." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Delightful!" Nezu exclaimed, clapping his paws together a few times. 

Izuku stood in the rat's office in the middle of a Monday, leaning back against a wall as he explained his current predicament. The UA principal was entirely too excited to hear that Izuku needed to pretend to be a hero for a few weeks, but he'd expected it. 

"It's just a job to take down Chisaki and Shigaraki," Izuku emphasized, even though he knew it was pointless. Nezu would sink his claws into this opportunity for all it was worth. 

A small, white paw waved off his concerns. "Of course, of course. Please, take a seat. I'll make a few calls, and we'll get this all straightened out today!" 

Izuku made no move for the chairs in the room, staying right where he was. "You're one freaky little bastard." 

"Why, thank you, Midoriya." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How long have you had this thing?" Izuku asked, pinching at the fabric of his new 'hero costume' that Nezu had gotten him in a matter of thirty minutes. There was no way the rodent hadn't already had it made. It really made Izuku wonder how he had his measurements. 

The costume in question was a baggy jumpsuit in a dark green color, almost black. It had a utility belt with way too many pouches and a big hood that could almost entirely cover his face if he wanted. The only good part about it was the black, fingerless compression gloves that took some of the strain off his wrists. After years of using One For All alongside All For One, his body was starting to ache. 

"About a year," Nezu said with a small smile, looking over the other man with approval in his gaze. "I was just waiting for you to ask for a suit." 

"Why the hell would I ever ask you for a suit?" Izuku asked, one hand resting on the metal mask that hung uselessly around his neck at the moment. 

Nezu raised one brow as he took a sip from his teacup. "Don't you get tired of burning your hoodies?" 

"It's fire resistant?" Izuku asked, looking over his shoulder to the floor-length mirror he stood in front of. If the costume couldn't be burned off him, maybe it wasn't so bad. 

"Obviously, who do you think I am?" 

"Fair point," Izuku said with a shrug. "You're putting me at Aizawa's agency, aren't you? I need to be underground for this and he's the only one that would willingly take me on." 

"Obviously. Keep up, young Midoriya," Nezu said as he turned tail and started out of the support course room they'd taken over. 

"Where're you taking me now?" Izuku whined. He wasn't given an answer, but as he started to recognize the halls they were walking down, a sense of dread filled him. 

Sure enough, Nezu came to a halt in front of classroom 1-A and shoved the door open. Aizawa was at the front of the room, clearly in the middle of a lecture that came to a screeching halt as the teacher and students took in the sight of Izuku and the principal. 

"Oh, what the hell?" Aizawa sighed, letting his forehead hit the whiteboard with a thunk. 

"I do believe this one is yours, Mr. Aizawa," Nezu said with a happy smile as he ushered Izuku through the door. 

"You're making me go back to high school?" Izuku asked, looking down at the rat that had single-handedly ruined his life. "What kind of hell is this?" 

"You're Aizawa's sidekick now, so you'll be sticking with him." 

"He's my what now?" 

"I'm what?" 

"We'll talk more after school!" Nezu called as he exited the room and shut the door behind him. 

The class was left in silence as Aizawa and Izuku stared each other down. All the students remembered what happened the last time Izuku came to class and were waiting with bated breath. 

"You know I'm going to ruin your life, right?" Izuku asked in a conversational tone. 

"Well aware, problem child." 

"Great," Izuku said with a clap of his hands before abruptly pushing everything off the teacher's desk and taking a seat on top of it with his legs crossed under him. "Continue." 

Aizawa activated his quirk without thinking about it, his raw anger overpowering his rational thought. "I'm going to kill you." 

Izuku's eyes lit up at the threat. "Want to turn this boring lesson into a practical sparring match?" 

"Um, Izuku?" 

The villain's eyes snapped to Emiko, who was sitting next to the window, two rows back. "Yes, dear?" 

The girl was bright red in seconds, which confused Izuku to no end. Back at the apartments, he called the three youngest Seros 'dear' all the time. At that point, he saw them as his own annoying younger sisters, the same as Himiko. 

"Does Hanta know you're here?" 

Izuku held his wrist up to look at a watch he wasn't wearing. "No, but I suppose he will in the next few seconds. However long it takes Nezu to call him screaming." 

"Why is he screaming?" Emiko asked shyly, sinking further in her seat as she realized all eyes were on her and the mysterious new hero. 

Izuku shrugged his shoulders before leaning back on his hands. "He's been trying to get me to join up for years. Those two will probably be fangirling on the phone for... about five minutes before he swings his ass over here to see for himself." 

"Please refrain from swearing in the classroom," Aizawa said through clenched teeth. No one was less happy about this arrangement than him. 

"Wait, so you weren't a hero before? But I thought you were," the girl seated behind Emiko spoke up, a small frown on her face. 

"I knew he wasn't a hero!" a boy exclaimed. Izuku faintly remembered him being the Takashi who apparently knew every hero. 

"Vigilante?" Izuku said, tested the word out on his tongue. "Yeah, let's go with vigilante." 

"But aren't those illegal?" 

"I don't know, I just got here," Izuku sighed, pointing to Aizawa. "Ask him." 

"Vigilantes are extremely illegal," Aizawa hissed, wanting nothing more than to smack the man sitting on his desk. 

"Moving on then." Izuku hopped off the desk and cracked his neck, just for effect. "Can we get to that sparring match before Hanta shows up? He's gonna blow a fuse when he sees this get up Nezu shoved me in." 

"We're not sparring." 

"Can I leave then?" Izuku asked, pointing toward the window rather than the door. 

Aizawa pressed his thumbs into the bridge of his nose, right where it met his brow bone, no doubt trying to fight off a migraine. "Just- sit down, shut up, and let me teach my class. Can you manage that?" 

A breath was forced from Izuku's lips as he fell into the teacher's desk chair. "I don't see the point. Hanta's gonna burst in any second and disrupt it all over again." 

"I'll fire him." 

The classroom door was thrown open with a crack as a panting Hanta Sero appeared in the doorway. "What the fuck?" 

"Stop swearing in my classroom!" Aizawa shouted, about to pop a blood vessel in his forehead. His scarf shot out and wrapped around Izuku, throwing him straight into Hanta. "Babysit, don't let him leave campus," he instructed the other hero before slamming the door in their faces. 

Hanta's arms were wrapped around Izuku's waist as the villain looked up at him with a sheepish smile. "It's not what it looks like." 

"You're a hero." 

"I'm not," Izuku corrected, pushing Hanta off him. "It's an undercover mission for the yakuza, just about as far from a real hero as you can get." 

Hanta blinked down at him, grabbing his wrist and pulling him right back to his chest. "A mission you went to Nezu about, who got you a real license and a real job." 

"Yeah, well, don't get used to it," Izuku mumbled, letting his forehead rest against the hero's chest. The whole day had been a whirlwind, from the meeting with Chisaki to now. He was tired, but it seemed he was always tired lately. 

"I won't, but I'm gonna enjoy the hell out of it while it lasts," Hanta said with a small smirk. It succeeded in earning an eye roll from Izuku. "What's your hero name?" 

"Haven't thought of one. I only found out about it this morning." 

"So, that's why you took off." 

"Yeah, it was kind of important." Izuku sighed, ready to go home and sleep, but apparently detained at the UA campus until further notice. "You can pick if you want." 

"Pick what?" 

"My hero name. It doesn't matter to me and you're probably better at this type of thing anyway." 

"I've got the perfect one." 

"I'm not going by lightning bug." 

"Wouldn't dream of it, Firefly." 

"That's... fine, I guess." 

"You love it, just admit it." 

"I don't, but it's better than anything I could come up with." 

"Sure, Firefly, sure." 

"You're really gonna milk this, huh?" 

"Oh, for the rest of my life." 

"Great." 

Surprise shawty.