19 ~ Cosimo's Confession


Cosimo and I stood together, alone in the lobby. We were looking up at each other, neither one of us speaking. It was like two strangers were left together, despite our long history together. I felt my heart ache as I looked into his dark, brown eyes. As I stared back at Cosimo, I remembered my time with the Cosimo of old. I didn't realize how much I had missed his company. But I couldn't get too worked up and nostalgic about him yet. I still had no idea what it was that he wanted to talk to me about. I clasped my hands together in front of me, looking at him urgingly. "What did you want to talk to me about?" I asked, treading lightly.  

Cosimo sighed loudly, looking down at the ground in shame. He rubbed one of his temples with his hand, desperately searching for the right words to say to me. "First of all, I wanted to offer a sincere apology for the way I've been acting." He looked right at me, his eyes full of remorse. "I had no right to treat you in the way that I did. I've been treating you like that all the time lately, which I'm sure made you feel uncomfortable. And then that night at the dance." He sighed, covering his eyes and looking down at the floor. "I really lost my head. I look back on what I did and what I said and I'd like to take it all back. Then when you ran out of there crying..." His voice trailed off. He raised a hand to cover his mouth, looking further down. "I knew I really messed up. So, for all that, and more, I am really sorry." 

It was a like a huge weight was lifted off of my chest. I looked up at him, fidgeting nervously. "Thank you for apologizing, Cosimo. It means a lot." I struggled to look him directly in the eyes. Although, he seemed to have no problem looking at me. He stared at me, his eyes hopeful. "But that's not all I wanted to say to you." He quickly put up his hands in defense. "Before you get the wrong idea, just know it won't be like that day at the theatre. I don't expect you to accept my feelings or anything, so please don't worry about that." He exhaled loudly, preparing himself for what it was he was about to say. I was a bit nervous. It sounded like I was going to get another confession, and I didn't know if I could handle rejecting him again. Regardless, I wanted to hear him out. Maybe he had some things he needed to get off his chest too.

Cosimo smiled at me, recalling memories from the past. "From the moment we first met, I knew you were special. Not just because you thought I was funny, which was reason enough to like you, but because of who you were. Your personality was so funny, and you were so kind to me, and to Lucio and Amedeo too. But I really appreciated the way you were specifically with me." He chuckled a little. "I still remember when I showed up to your door that one night and we had that fun night in the city. I'll never forget it. Every time I walk by a cable car, I think of you." I mustered up a small smile, sharing in the sentiment. I thought of him every time I saw a cable car too. His face turned serious, but he still smiled at me. "I was able to share things with you that I felt I couldn't share with anyone else. You really listened to me, and you made me feel a lot better about things too. I guess all this that you did and more just stuck with me." He laughed. "Who can blame me for falling for you?" My eyes widened at the sudden confession. My heart ached. 

He smiled at me, stepping closer to me to close the distance between us. "I loved everything about you. Your personality, your beautiful appearance, your voice." He turned nostalgic. "Your family. I felt like I was back with my mom." He sighed wistfully. "And that's why it made me sick to think of you with someone else. Even if that someone was my best friend." I tensed. Lucio somehow made his way back into the conversation. Cosimo turned back to me, eyebrows upturned. "But it still didn't excuse anything I did. I made you uncomfortable, and I'm sure I even made you feel scared. For that, I don't expect you to forgive me." He sighed. "I just wanted to wish you and Lucio well. From what I saw today, you two belong together. I hope you're really happy together, honestly." He smiled at me. A genuine Cosimo smile. I didn't realize how much I missed it. 

He laughed again, trying to lighten the air. "Boy, I can get pretty sappy with this kind of stuff, huh?" He shrugged. "I just needed you to know that. To know how sorry I was." He paused for a moment, but then continued. "And to know that my feelings are real. I do love you, Daniela." He smiled and took my hands in his, holding them gently. I didn't feel the need to let go. "And I love you enough to let you go. I love you enough to make sure that you'll be happy, even if that means you're happy with someone else." He let my hands go, squeezing them one last time before doing so. He stepped back, signifying that he was done with his speech. "Thanks for hearing me out, I appreciate it." He smiled. 

I just stood there, looking at him in disbelief. Tears threatened to sting my eyes. I felt bad about rejecting him, but I also felt such relief at seeing his old self resurface. He stood in front of me, the same Cosimo that I met that day on the cable car. I stepped closer to him, which, judging by the look on his face, surprised him. I just smiled up at him. Now, it was my turn to let him know how much he meant to me. 

"Cosimo, you are just about the funniest guy I have ever met. You are so charming, you're hilarious, and you're just the right amount of silly. You're someone that people look forward to seeing, because we know it's always going to be a fun time when you're around." I smiled more seriously. "But you're also incredibly sweet. You made me feel special when I was with you, and you were always looking out for me. It meant so much when you opened up to me and shared your past with me. I'm glad I could be there for you." I frowned. "But I'm sorry I couldn't share your feelings. I'm sorry I didn't fall for you, and I'm sorry I don't love you in that way." Cosimo frowned at me when I said this. I reached out and held one of his hands with both of mine, making him look me in the eyes. "But I do love you. You're one of the best friends I have. When we were fighting and then when we stopped talking to each other altogether, it made me so sad. I really missed having you around." I smiled, trying to fight the tears I felt coming on. "I forgive you, Cosimo. I know I can never be with you the way you'd like, but I really want to be your friend, if you're okay with that. I can't imagine my life without you." I put his hand down to avoid making him uncomfortable and stepped back. I sighed. "I guess that's my confession to you." 

Cosimo stood there for the longest time, just staring at me. I couldn't quite read the expression on his face, but I didn't have to wait longer to see what it was that he was feeling. He raised a hand to cover his mouth and nose, and this was when I saw the tears in the corner of his eyes. He bent his head down and shuddered, sobbing. I was so caught off guard by this display of emotion and I felt a pang in my heart. I had never seen Cosimo cry before. I rushed over to him, trying to see if he was alright. He looked back up at me, and I saw that he was smiling despite the tears. "You're amazing, Daniela, you know that?" He said, his voice breaking. Then, he wrapped me up in a big, tight hug. 

I felt all the memories we shared flashing before my eyes as he hugged me. The tears I had tried so hard to hold in started spilling down my cheeks. I felt immense feelings of relief and gratitude to have the old Cosimo back with me, back as my friend. I hugged him back just as tight. "I love you, Daniela." He said, sincerely. I smiled. "I love you too, Cosimo." We still meant those words in different ways, but we were both okay with that. We respected each other's feelings, and we weren't going to force our feelings on each other. I respected his feelings for me, and he respected that Lucio and I were together. Overall, we both were glad to be friends again. 

We pulled out of the hug, looking at each other through teary eyes. Cosimo laughed, wiping his eyes hard. "I didn't know I was such a crybaby! I keep surprising myself lately." I chuckled, wiping a stray tear from my eye. "I am too. I think this whole situation made us a bit teary." Cosimo nodded, still laughing a bit. He stuffed his hands in his coat pockets once he had gotten control of his tears. "I'll let you get back to Lucio. I have to go home and practice for the showcase, but I'll text you daily memes again!" Cosimo walked to the door, opening it. Before he walked out, he smiled back at me. "Ciao, Daniela." I smiled, waving at him. "Ciao, mio amico." He waved back, smiling gratefully at me, and walked out the door. 

On the way out, I noticed Lucio had caught up with him. Lucio looked a bit angry as he talked, but Cosimo remained neutral. The two talked for a while and eventually turned back to look at  me. Lucio no longer looked angry. In fact, he was smiling. They turned back to each other, continuing their conversation. Now, they were both smiling. Cosimo said something that made them both stand together in silence. Then, he raised his arms out towards Lucio. After a minute, Lucio ran into his arms, hugging him tightly, and I swear I could see tears in their eyes. I covered my mouth, the tears returning to my own eyes. They had made up. 

I watched as Cosimo left, patting Lucio on the back, and Lucio turned to watch him leave. I walked out the door, standing next to Lucio. "I take it you two made up?" Lucio turned to me, smiling and wiping a tear from his eye. "Yeah. We're all good." He smiled down at me. "And I take it you two also made up?" I looked in the direction Cosimo went. I could still see him walking away. The cable car travelled in front of him, concealing him from our sight. How ironic. I turned back to Lucio, nodding. "Yeah. We're more than good." Lucio smiled and took my hand. "Should we go to Lorenzo's and get some lunch?" I nodded, squeezing his hand and smiling up at him. "Let's do that." 

Just as we were about to be on our way, someone called for us from behind. "Lucio, Daniela!" We turned around to see Amedeo standing behind us, out of breath and a frown on his face. Lucio and I both tensed. We still weren't on good terms with Amedeo, so we wondered what this could be about. 

Amedeo looked down at the ground, but then looked to me. "Daniela, I know I don't deserve it, but could I talk to you? It's important. Then I promise, I'll leave you alone forever." He seemed so sad, a permanent frown staying put on his face. I frowned back. I turned to look up at Lucio, trying to communicate with my eyes I'll be okay, let me hear him out. Lucio seemed to understand what I was communicating with him. He squeezed my hand once firmly, turning to face Amedeo, then back to me. "I'll be right over there." He pointed to a bench across the street. He walked past Amedeo, giving him a warning look like he had first given Cosimo. Then, he went to sit on the bench. 

Amedeo and I stood on the street corner, the wind blowing in our hair. Amedeo had his hands in the pockets of his coats, as he stared into my eyes, his filled with urgency. He exhaled. 

"Daniela, I have so many things to say to you." 

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