"I think you're improving," I say as I help Nathan slump down onto a bench.

He gives me a wide-eyed look as he yanks his skates off. "I fell like fifteen times."

I shrug. "It's part of learning how to skate."

He sighs. "Well..." He shoves his shoes back on as he glares at Clara who's still making rounds. "At least you stopped me from falling on my face every time Clara shoved me." He shakes his head, laughing softly. "Thanks for that."

"No problem. I remember how much it hurt hitting the ground every time someone shoved me."

He makes a face. "I still can't believe someone actually did that to you."

I rub my hands together. "You know... siblings..."

Nathan's eyebrows draw together for a second as he considers that. "Yeah. I guess I kind of know."

I don't know if he's thinking about his relationship with Clara, but I definitely am. And right on cue, Clara steps off the ice, frowning at Nathan.

"You're already done?" she asks.

He scowls at her. "Yeah. I don't feel like falling on my face every time you pass me by anymore."

Clara rolls her eyes. "The only reason your mom let me off of work early to skate with you is so you can actually learn how to skate. Not go five rounds max and then sit out."

Nathan tightens his shoelaces. "I went six rounds."

Clara gives me an exasperated look, and I can't help but laugh as I shrug. Her expression softens, and she holds her hand out to me. "At least I get to skate with Mona now. She probably wants to skate with someone who actually knows what they're doing."

I offer Nathan a smile, so he knows I don't mind skating with him as I take Clara's hand. We step on the ice together and I have to say, it really is a lot more fun and a lot less stressful to skate with Clara. She knows how to stay on her feet, so I don't have to constantly worry about catching her in case she falls.

"You should show me some tricks," Clara says.

I glance at her. "Like teach you?"

She shakes her head. "No. I just want to see you show off."

I can't really argue with that. I glance around to make sure there aren't too many people around. There are only a few, but they're on the other side of the rink, so I show Clara a few tricks. She cheers me on whenever I stick a landing or just spin in place.

It reminds me a bit of Morgan and how he would cheer me on. But most of the time, he would tell me I'm showing off. To be fair, I'd do the exact same to him. I think the difference between us doing that is Kassie, Leah, and Jason would join him without fail. They would hardly ever join me when I would make fun of him.

I think that's how it always is with everyone when it comes to me and Morgan. Morgan has always been the more likable one. He could make friends with anyone, and even if we shared friends, sometimes it felt like they were more his friends than mine. I don't blame anyone for that.

Maybe except for myself.

My vision starts to blur, and my breath catches in my throat when I feel the blade of my skate skim the ice. I grit my teeth and shut my eyes, tucking my head in. It feels like time slows down as I fall. Then, just as quickly as I hit the ground, time crashes down all around me.

I start to push myself to my feet, freezing when I hear, "Are you okay?"

For a moment, I think it's Morgan. Even if he would call me a showoff, he would always be there for me no matter what. Maybe that's why he was the more likable twin. But likable or not, this can't be Morgan because laughter doesn't come after the question when it's obvious I am okay. Besides... he's gone. I know that. I've known that for a long time now. But...

I hold my breath as I turn my head. Clara's already kneeling next to me, holding her hand out. Not Morgan. Never Morgan. Never again.

There's a crease between Clara's eyebrows as she pulls me into a sitting position. She looks me up and down, checking for any injuries. She pauses when she meets my eyes. Her eyebrows furrow even more.

"Are you okay?" she repeats.

I nod, letting her pull me to my feet. "I'm fine."

She frowns. "Are you sure? You're crying."

I blink the tears away, running my hands down my jeans. "I'm okay. Really. I've fallen a lot worse than that before."

Clara starts to argue some more, so I do a double axel, sticking the landing this time. I skate backward around Clara to further prove my point. She gives me an exasperated look, but the corners of her mouth tug up.

"Okay, I get it," she laughs. "One fall isn't going to break you." Her smile slips. "But maybe you should stop skating for today. We can do something else. Even listen to Nathan read his terrible poems to us."

I laugh, letting her take my hand and drag me off the ice. Nathan is on his feet, waiting right by the exit. I'm sure he saw me fall, but if he did, that means he also saw me prove to Clara I'm fine. That doesn't stop him from taking my other hand and helping me sit on the bench.

"Never do that again," he says.

A laugh escapes me. "I don't fall on purpose."

"Still." He gives me a meaningful look. "Don't do that again."

His tone makes me pause, my laces halfway undone. I meet his eyes, and I see an urgency in them. They weren't even that urgent when he was falling himself. It's jarring to see someone care that much about me.

Nathan barely even knows me. But if he cares this much... I wonder what that says about me. I know it says he's a genuine person but after just a few days of hanging out with me? Do I really seem that fragile? I don't even think I have the right to feel fragile. And even if I am, I don't have the right to have someone as sincere as Nathan care like this.

I inhale and turn back to my skates. "I'm okay."

I feel both Nathan's and Clara's eyes on me like they're waiting for me to break down. I focus on taking my skates off and putting my shoes back on. When I go through the entire process without breaking once, Clara finally switches her skates out for her shoes. Even then, I catch her stealing glances at me right up to the moment we return our skates and step outside, the cold winter air cutting into us.

"So what do you wanna do now, Mona?" Clara asks. "Up to you."

"Hopefully, something that doesn't get anyone hurt," Nathan mutters.

I don't think he means for me to hear that, but even if I hadn't, I feel like it'd be easy to assume what he said based on the intense way he's still looking at me. Like I might fall right now and break the moment I hit the ground.

"We can head to the park," I suggest.

Clara straightens. "We could, but we could also go back to Poems and Tales. Less chance of dying from hypothermia that way."

Nathan side-eyes her, taking his keys out of his pocket. "Is that likely to happen?"

I shake my head. "Not unless you fall in the lake or something."

Clara's eyes widen. "Is that likely to happen? Has it happened to you?"

"Oh, no." I tuck my hair behind my ear. "Not to me. A friend."

Jason to be specific. Morgan and I dared him to walk on a frozen lake that had warning signs posted all around the perimeter. He obviously fell through. We got him out before any real damage could be done, but there were still consequences. Jason blamed me more than he blamed Morgan. I guess I joked about the dare first, but even if I hadn't, I have a feeling Jason would've sided with Morgan anyway.

People always side with Morgan.

"You're gonna tell me that story at some point," Clara says.

"I will." I won't. Not if I want to keep her as a friend.

Nathan's eyes are wide as he studies me. "Well... let's not do that and head to Poems and Tales instead."

Clara nods her head vigorously, but where Nathan looks at me, Clara looks at Nathan. Before he can see it, she's turning away. "Yeah. Let's head back to Poems and Tales."

Clara lets me take the passenger seat while she settles in the backseat. We're just shutting the doors when my phone starts ringing. I dig it out of my pocket, staring at Hannah's name on the screen. I let it ring for a few more seconds before answering.

"Hello?"

"Are you coming home soon?" she asks.

I check the time on my phone. It's a little past four. "No. Why? Do you need me home?"

"Not need, but it's getting late, don't you think?" No. I don't think. Not that I would say that, but I don't have to because Hannah keeps talking. "The sun will set in like an hour. Don't you think it'd be... safer... if you got home sooner than later? You promised not to stay out too late, remember?"

"Well, yeah, but—"

"So you're coming home?"

There's a desperation in her voice that makes me shut up. I don't have to see her expression to know she has a worried look on her face. I think that's the only expression I really get from her these days. It's practically ingrained into the back of my eyelids. I can't blame her for it, though.

"Yeah, sure," I say. "I'll be right there."

Hannah lets out a breath. "I'll see you soon."

I nod like she can see me. "Yeah. See you soon."

I hang up and clutch my phone to my chest as I stare at the dashboard. My mind goes blank, and it feels like I'm not even here right now. Yet I can still feel Nathan and Clara watching me while the engine idles.

I take a deep breath, turning to them. "My sister wants me home." I focus on Nathan. "You don't have to drive me. I can walk."

Nathan ignores the last sentence, already driving towards Hannah's house. "I didn't realize you meant you had to go home this early when you said you couldn't stay out as late as you did last night."

Frankly, I didn't either. "Overprotective big sister."

Clara scoffs. "I think this is a lot more than being overprotective."

I shrug. "Hannah cares a lot."

Nathan glances at me. "Sounds like a good older sister."

A better one than me.

When Nathan parks in front of the house, Clara pokes her head between the two front seats and asks, "Is it cool if we hang out with you here? You're home, so it's not like you're breaking any rules."

I hesitate. After this morning, I don't know if I want Nathan and Clara to interact with my family. Maybe it'll make Hannah trust them a little more, but I don't want her scrutinizing them all the time and scaring them away. Not to mention Kate's strange mood this morning when we were talking about whether I'll keep hanging out with them. I think Clara's already weirded out enough.

"Maybe let me head in and ask first," I say.

Nathan takes a second to study me before slowly saying, "If you're tired, we can hang out another time." He frowns. "You did fall pretty hard."

Clara laughs, hitting him in the shoulder. "You mean you fell hard a lot of times, and you need rest. Not Mona."

A laugh escapes me, and I cover my mouth with my hands when Clara shoots me a smile and Nathan gives me an exasperated look. It only makes me laugh harder which makes their expressions soften.

"I'll be quick about asking," I say, getting out of the car.

I feel their eyes on me the entire time I walk up to the front door. The moment I step inside, Hannah appears, a smile on her face. She looks me up and down. When she can't find anything wrong, her smile widens.

"How was your day?" she asks.

"Good. Great." I play with my keys. "Nathan and Clara are actually here. Do you think it'd be okay if we sat outside and hung out?"

Hannah's eyebrows twitch upwards. Her lips part as she nods slowly. "Oh." She blinks, and her eyes focus as my words really register. "Oh." She nods. "Yeah. Sure. Just come inside if you get too cold or something."

I nod, already turning back to the front door and stepping outside. I wave at Nathan and Clara from the porch. Nathan cuts the engine and they get out, joining me on the porch steps. They sit on the middle step, and I sit between them on the top step.

For the most part, I listen to Nathan and Clara talk. I only contribute when they ask me a question, but really, I'm fine with listening, my eyes flickering between them. They're talking about everything but nothing at the same time. Rolling their eyes. Making fun of each other. And yet still smiling and laughing like nothing could ever go wrong between them. It makes me believe it.

And there were times when I believed it could've been true for me and Morgan, too.

"I don't understand how you could be so stupid," Clara scoffs.

Nathan arches an eyebrow. "Me? What about you?"

Clara leans towards him. "What have I done that makes me stupid?"

Nathan tries to list off events, but Clara keeps talking over him to make his words drown out. When Nathan doesn't give up, Clara swipes at the snow, making it shower down on both me and Nathan. Before he can retaliate, she springs to her feet and sprints away, shouting an apology to me over her shoulder.

I blink the snow out of my eyes in time to see Nathan kneel to make snowballs. Before I know what's happening, Nathan and Clara are in the middle of a snowball fight. My head whips back and forth as I watch the snowballs fly across the yard.

Eventually, Nathan remembers I'm here, too. He holds a snowball out to me, nodding towards the yard. "Wanna join?"

The sun is setting behind him, making his hair seem more golden than brown and his eyes more silver than gray. More than anything, though, it makes his smile seem more sincere than it usually is which is saying something.

I tentatively hold my hand out, and one of Clara's snowballs hits me on my arm. Snow explodes everywhere.

"Sorry!" she calls. "I was aiming for Nathan!"

I smile in her direction, taking the snowball from Nathan and throwing it at her. She makes an indignant sound, but a mischievous smile spreads on her face. Soon enough, I'm caught up in the snowball fight. Sometimes I hit Clara. Sometimes I hit Nathan. Sometimes they hit me. We all have wet splotches on our clothes and our cheeks are tinged pink from the cold. Broad smiles are on our faces, and our breaths condense in the air as we pant. Yet we still run around and throw snowballs at each other, our laughter echoing throughout the neighborhood.

I try to aim for Nathan, but he ducks right when the front door opens and Kate steps out. "Hannah says—"

I never get to hear what Hannah says because the snowball hits Kate square in the chest, making her pause. I freeze, my arm still extended out in front of me. Nathan and Clara stare, their mouths agape. Kate blinks, looking down at the snow on her shirt.

"Are you okay?" I ask, making my way to her.

When I'm a few feet away, she looks up with a smile and shouts, "I call Clara on my team!"

She scoops up a handful of snow and throws it at me. I barely duck in time, watching her sprint past me to Clara. Before I can really process anything, the snowball fight continues like nothing happened at all. When I'm not dodging snowballs or trying to hit Clara and Kate (because Nathan and I are on a team now apparently), I can't help but study my sister.

She's all smiles, her laughter ringing louder than any of ours. And the way she just jumped into the snowball fight even though it sounded like she wasn't sure about Nathan and Clara this morning... She definitely takes after Morgan in a lot of ways. It's almost like she is Morgan with that glint in her eyes and the smirk slipping on and off her face whenever she manages to hit someone.

When there's hardly any sunlight left, the four of us are sitting back on the front steps, smiles on our faces. I don't know about everyone else, but I can't stop looking at Kate. Her hair and clothes are sopping wet, but her eyes are brighter than I've seen them in a long time. Not to mention her smile is lighting up her entire face.

It feels like she's stealing glances at me, too. And maybe even having the same thoughts about me.

"That was fun," Kate shouts, her voice echoing.

Clara holds a fist out to Kate. "Only because of you. We make a great team."

Kate hits her fist against Clara's, laughing. "We really do." She turns to me. "We totally beat you and Nathan."

Nathan makes a face. "I wouldn't say that."

Clara waves him off. "You're only saying that because you don't want to admit you were dead weight."

Kate shakes her head, pointing at me. "No. That was Mona."

I roll my eyes, propping my head up with one hand, threading my fingers through my hair. "You're sopping wet, Kate."

She makes a face. "So are you."

"Not as much as you are."

She scoops up some snow and tosses it in my face. When I blink it away, I see Kate's smiling face. "Now we're about the same."

I narrow my eyes. Before she can run, I pull her towards me into a hug, making her screech. Nathan and Clara laugh as I hold Kate tight with one arm. I scoop up some snow and smash it on her head, rubbing it in. Kate squirms, but if she really wanted to escape, she would have. But she doesn't, turning her head to smile at me even when I rub more snow into her hair.

I'm dropping another handful of snow onto Kate when the front door opens. Hannah pauses when she sees us wet from head to toe. Her lips part as her eyes zero in on the snow in my hand and my arm caging Kate against me.

"What are you doing?" Hannah asks.

"Nothing," I say, letting Kate go right as she says, "Having fun."

Hannah frowns. "You're gonna catch a cold."

Kate rolls her eyes, turning away. "You're such a mom."

Hannah's eyes dart to me. "I might as well be."

I stare at my hands in my lap, shifting. All of a sudden, I feel just how wet my clothes and hair are. They cling to my skin, seeping down to my bones and chilling the blood in my veins. Hannah's gaze warms me up in all the wrong ways, so I'm still cold. Like the sun is beating down on me while I'm standing in the middle of a blizzard.

Clara puts a hand on my knee, turning to face Hannah. "It's not a big deal. Mona and Kate are literally at home. They can just go take a hot shower."

I risk a glance at Hannah. Her expression is blank, but her eyebrows twitch together ever so slightly. Overprotective big sister mode. Except she doesn't need to be an overprotective big sister right now.

I pat Clara's hand before I stand, dusting excess snow off my clothes. "I guess we should head inside."

Hannah shoots Kate a pointed look. "Yeah. I sent Kate out to get you." Kate huffs, muttering to herself as she stomps inside. When she's gone, Hannah turns to me. "You ready to come in?"

She phrases it like a question, but I have a feeling it's more of a demand than a request. I nod, turning to Nathan and Clara. Clara's eyes are narrowed ever so slightly, her eyes flickering between me and my sister. Nathan's expression is more unreadable, but his eyes are intense, piercing into me like he's trying to read my thoughts and feelings.

"Thanks for today," I say, offering a polite smile. "It was really fun."

Clara drops her frown to beam at me. "It was more fun with me, though, right?"

I laugh, glancing at Nathan. He shakes his head, pointing at himself. "It was definitely more fun with me."

Clara tosses a handful of snow at him. It cascades around him, dusting his hair in sparkles. It reminds me a little bit of stars, especially when he opens his eyes and laughs. The moment he brushes the snow off his hair, the stars blink out.

I let out a soft laugh. "It was a fun day with both of you." I feel Hannah's eyes on me, and it makes my chest tighten. My voice comes out a little quieter when I add, "Thank you for a fun day."

Nathan and Clara pause, sitting up to look at me. They exchange glances like they're looking for a reassurance in one another. I don't think they find it. Looking at each other and then at me only makes the crease between their eyebrows deepen. Before they can say anything, Hannah puts a hand on my shoulder and nods towards the house. She turns me around and ushers me inside. I glance over my shoulder. Nathan and Clara are standing now, but they don't move towards the car. They watch me, and for some reason, I think of stars again. Trailing stars. Then, Hannah shuts the door and the thought blinks out.