I wasn't there the day he died.

I asked if you needed me.

No. I'm fine you said.

Deep down you weren't.

I knew you weren't.

I knew I wouldn't understand.

Not completely, not to your fullest.

I came marching over the next week.

Being met with a memorial

That hung next to the garage door.

He was named after the beer you said.

I replied, I always saw it as a girl's name.

A collar of sun dried earth and the name

Corona written in silver.

He was the first.

I remembered that he was the first

To welcome me into your family.

He was old by the time I met him.

Came running right up to me.

Wagging a tail filled with sunshine.

He was like the beach.

Sandy and refreshing, light and airy.

A boy of gold who gave sloppy kisses

Like it was his job. He loved me.

He loves everyone, you said.

But he loved you the most.

I saw it in his eyes with each

Scratch behind the ears.

I saw it in your smile with each bark.

A boy and his dog.

I never had that before I met you.

I never had the love that crossed

Worlds.

Never had the unspoken words

That crossed species.

Never had a brother who walked

On four legs and a tail that wagged

Every time he saw you and only you. 

A part of heaven I was unable to reach.

A ball I was unable to catch and throw.

A scratch of soft fur has gone missing from our hands.

He was a good boy wasn't he, the best boy.

I miss him.

But I never truly understood how much I missed him

Until she showed me.

She, the dog who was scared of everyone, Jersey.

Corona's partner in crime, sweet Jersey.

The day she put her head on my lap.

A day where she let me pet her for the first time.

That is when I knew.

I knew.

Corona's name tag weighs heavy in my hand.

Cold as my thumb runs over each letter.

I do not dare to take the collar off the wall.

You look at me, a somber smile.

Come on, you said.

I leave the medal of honor on the wall.

I put my bag down.

Met with a jumping Jersey.

Paws on chest, kisses to the chin.

We take our seats, laptops out.

We scoot, she lays next to me.

My hand has found another patch of soft fur.

Good Girl.