"Can you feel it now that spring has come? And it's time to live in the scattered sun."

-The Doors

The siren pierced the frozen air before dawn, shattering the fragile stillness of the room and tugging me from restless thoughts. It was a sound I'd come to hate, unyielding and cold, a reminder of yet another day in hell to begin.

That siren had never been a second off and hadn't skipped a day since we moved into the small home on the outskirts of town. It was a miserable reminder that another gruelling day was yet to begin, that all workers were to be at their assigned stations within the hour.

My eyelids are heavy and it's an effort to twist my body towards the cracked window, the sharp crevices covered with a flaking tape that bugs somehow managed to wriggle their way through. Glistening stars blanketed over the night sky, traces of their light peeking through the canopy of trees that surrounded us. When we first arrived, I'd loathed this place. Oliver's optimism didn't make the peeling walls or eerie woods any more welcoming. Even now, months later, I still hated it—though maybe with a little less venom.

It's nearly spring and the sun will start to peak through the dark sky earlier soon enough. Not that it will become any easier to wake up.

The woods near our home will burst with wildflowers but the start of summer's warmth only means that the rigorous labour many humans endure is about to get worse. For most, sunlight is a curse, equating to harsher days in worsened conditions. Last summer alone we had nearly ninety patients for heatstroke, and many more for worse.

I remember practically screaming at Carter as I rubbed an aloe solution into his scorned skin after he failed to use the little sun salve we'd saved endlessly for during winter.

I take a final deep breath and shift myself towards the bed's edge, bracing myself for the day ahead but a load groan followed the strong arm of my husband around my bare waist stops me. He drags me toward the comfort of his warm chest and I glance behind my shoulder to inspect the slight frown lines that pull at his soft face.

He's damn near half asleep but he clutches onto me like I'm a childhood teddy that protects him from the boogie monster under the bed.

It's difficult not to be entranced by the way the moon illuminates him with an unnatural glow, outlining his sharp defined jaw and soft lips that sit slightly ajar upon his perfect face. If there is such thing as a mate, then I don't doubt that mine is laying behind me, shirtless to reveal his well-defined chest with the expression of a petulant young child.

The corners of my mouth tugs softly as I turn to touch his face lightly, which is admittedly rather difficult given his death grip on my waist.

"Ollie, I gotta get up, you've got a few more minutes rest but unless you want to go to work hungry you need to let me go."

My smile turns into a grin and I can't help but chuckle as the eyebrows on my husbands face furrow and he lets out an even louder groan of annoyance. God, I did not marry a morning person, this man and his inability to function immediately after sleep is one thing that the monsters couldn't change about him with their new regime.

I wriggled free, replacing myself with a pillow, and stretched before pulling on my worn leather boots. My finger snagged in the hold of my mundane grey shirt as I slipped it over my head, followed by the rest of my tattered bleak clothing.

They hadn't provided replacement uniforms since we were initially assigned them and the only item of clothing from that original package was my boots. The rest I'd forked out an unreasonable amount of rations to attain—all colourless of course, as was required of someone in my station.

I trudge through the narrow hallway to the kitchen, barely pulling myself along and meet Carter's curly blonde hair just as he walks in with a large pot full of water. "You're up late," he notes with a smile and I offer him one in return.

"Blame your brother," I say with a grin, making him chuckle. I move to the splintered wooden bench and my fingers robotically detach springs of dried herbs that hang above the window outlooking the woods, mixing and grinding before adding them to a solution over the heat of the wood stove.

The heat that fills the kitchen from the burning wooden stove is a blessing to my rigid hands. Carter silently prepares boiled oats beside me, both of us moving around the kitchen seamlessly, like the practice was a ritual.

I pull my attention towards him for a moment. "Did Oliver get any game yesterday?"

Carter shrugs and answers through a heavy yawn. "A rabbit and there's a few fish trapped in his net downstream."

I shot him a wary glance.

"Isn't that risky?" I asked, my voice sharper than I intended. Traps left evidence—evidence that patrols wouldn't hesitate to follow. Oliver was a skilled hunter, but I preferred when his hunting didn't leave a trail.

"My thoughts exactly," he mumbled, carefully heaving the large pot onto the stove. "He eent past where the patrols run and he assured me it's concealed. Besides, no shifter posted out here cares enough to go digging around for signs of fishing."

My brows knitted and he laughed which only enflamed my annoyance. "I don't like it," I decided, and he walked past me, his sturdy hand finding my shoulder.

I didn't want to think about what would happen if the patrols found the traps. People had been killed for less.

"Good luck telling him otherwise." He grabbed four bowls, ignoring my glare as he serves himself up a plate. "I wish he'd find some more of that damn honey," he says through a grin.

We were only ever lucky enough to have honey once. I'd spotted a hive on my way home and bounded into the house like a mad woman. Noah had about five solid stings from removing the bees but somehow, someway, we managed to squeeze out jars of sickly sweet honey that lasted the whole summer.

"All I've seen around these parts are wasps," I huff, sliding the herbs into the bubbling pot. "I'll tell Ollie to keep an eye out next time he wanders past patrols."

Carter laughs and squeezes past me, "I'll be late home today by the way," he says as he wanders down the hall towards Noah. "Surely cover me?"

He's gone before I can answer because he knows that I'd need too. Oliver wouldn't allow it otherwise.

It's silent for a beat and I serve myself up a bowl of the pudgy beige breakfast, grinning at the memory of that damn honey.

My body jolts when warm hands snake around my waist underneath the grey shirt. The familiar faint smell of smoke and sandalwood wafts off Oliver's work shirt, instantly relaxing my nerves as he places his head on my shoulder.

"You're so fucking beautiful when you smile." Oliver murmured, his husky morning voice wrapping around me like a warm blanket. He buried his face in the crook of my neck, his lips trailing soft, deliberate kisses that sent a shiver down my spine.

I move my body to face his and am met with mesmerising emerald eyes before I pull his head down to connect his lips with my own. He pulls me closer and groans into my mouth, biting my lip gently before deepening the kiss and sending butterflies straight to my empty stomach.

"Ugh, do you two really have to go at it this early in the morning? I just woke up." Noah rubs his eyes and grimaces as I quickly pull away from Oliver's lips. Unfortunately, in such a small house these intrusions were difficult to avoid—some worse than others.

Oliver laughs deeply at my blatant discomfort, cupping my face to pull me forward and kissed me once more.

The siren wailed again, louder this time, cutting through our fleeting moment of warmth. He pulled away and pecked my forehead before reaching past me to scoop up a bowl of oats. Noah glides up next to me, smirking whilst shaking his head, grabbing his bowl to follow Oliver and tousling my hair on his way past.

He'd shot up like a tree a few years ago, moving from his lanky teenage boy body and into a size that allowed him to pat my head with ease. They all ate their meals and left for the day within a span of five minutes, soaking up every moment of sleep they could and I missed them the moment they left, an unforgiving kernel of fear lodging itself into my chest.

It was impossible to know when your last goodbye was around here.

I was out the door myself just twenty minutes later, my satchel full to the brim of sterilised tools, scraps of fabric and herbal remedies. I had an appointment today in the towns centre, a one hour walk from our small home.

It was never a pretty sight, entering the town to see worn, crumbling buildings – many of which are shelters filled within humans that can't work and instead beg for scraps while they wither into nothingness. This section of the pack is so rural we are a two-hour drive to the nearest pack centre and a further five from any of the main cities. The only sign of development was a small hospital built thirty minutes from here—an outpost that was stationed between the pristine holiday homes of high-ranking wolves.

I'd never stepped into that gated community—the only humans allowed access to those streets were servants that kept the mostly vacant properties pristine. A wealthy human visited once, probably someone that sold their soul to the enemy when there were sides to pick. They came to the shelters and handed out food and money like it would redeem them from what they did.

Oliver wouldn't allow any of us to go there with our hands held out.

There was at least running electricity in the village, enough for the large screens to display pack announcements and news. The pixels currently showcased the Alpha and his young family all stood on a stage in the city centre outside of the pack house.

I drowned out the speech as I drifted past stalls full of someone's trash or treasure and forced myself to ignore the patrolling wolves that were stationed outside of the only nice building in the entire place.

There was never more than four wolves in the town centre and they tended to stick to their cozy little outpost but avoiding them was paramount. It was obvious that this station was boring, inferior and likely a total drag to the wolves but that didn't mean they weren't vigilant.

Wolves were loyal beasts and lethal soldiers, wired to follow the orders of their superiors—at least that's what Oliver told me and I hadn't witnessed anything to prove otherwise. Just last week a young woman was taken to pack holdings and probably killed for tearing down a pack ordained poster.

I stole a glance to the loitering soldiers, relieved somewhat to find them all older, with visible marks on their necks. But there were more of them this time, ten at least—it made my gut wring and my feet push forward with urgency.

My small satchel clattered against my thigh as I walked through the winding alleyways, fingers clutching the fabric closed to avoid the many thrifters that rove around here. I pass by beggars and merchants, each offering a different service that I have no choice but to refuse, I too have a mission, one that needs to be accomplished as soon as possible.

I make three more right turns and eventually the sound of children squealing and playing pulls my attention towards the left and I smile as I turn down into an alcove, spotting the young kids playing at its end.

They bounce around, some kicking a worn old ball between their feet as others mix together mud and sand in old pots. They all ignore me, engrossed in their game and I gracefully avoid their game, meeting the large wooden door and knocking four times in short intervals. The door opens to reveal the worn face of Eva, soft wrinkle lines forming as she recognises me. Eva is in her early fourties and one of the few people I trust in this place. She manages a home for people in need, helping set them up with jobs through her many connections and looking over their children during the day. Her shoulders slump as she lets out a heavy sigh before embracing me warmly.

"Mae, thank you so much for making it here on such short notice, please come in."

I gave her a curt nod before following her into the house. Multiple rooms filled with the empty bed of workers sat on either side of the corridor, the size of the room nowhere near large enough for the occupants.

"She is right this way, it's only gotten worse since you last visited I'm afraid. I have done everything you told me to, but with her limited funds and our shortage of food... Well, I don't know how much longer we will be able to support her."

The pain was evident in her voice, some of the people she rescued from a life of severe poverty were just kids who quickly became like her children. My eyebrows furrowed tightly, this one was only twelve, and such a beautiful soul. She became riddled with a fever two weeks ago that she since hasn't recovered from, despite my remedies.

I had another doctor working alongside me for the last year, a fully trained professional who specialised in gynaecology. I wasn't a full professional, I hadn't finished my degree fully when the takeover took full swing. But like my education, he was taken by the wolves.

His whole family was promoted to live a sector higher and they put him to work within a hospital, mainly for the human mates if gossip is to be believed. I was happy for him, but I felt the loss of his extra hands, everyone did.

We rounded a corner and turned into a small room that held a single bed with a small, frail figure laying on top. She had lost weight since I last saw her, I knew Eva's situation for food was bad but this, this painful to see. The wide, sunken eyes of Mary lit up as I entered the room, and I did my best to transform my facial expression and give her some semblance of comfort in my smile.

"Hey sleepyhead, I brought you some new medicine to help ease up that pain. How have you been holding up?" I bent down next to her and rested my knees over the harsh concrete floor.

Staying positive was a struggle as her slim figure, too damn small for her age, withered away on an old bed.

A wince pinched her brows together as Eva helped position her with pillows to sit facing me. Her eyelids blinked slowly, and her head rolled back before she caught it. She looked warm during my last visit, but now all her face gave away was an endless battle.

"Not too great Mae, I have been drinking the herbs every day, just like you said, but I don't think it's working."

Pressure built in my chest at the squeak of her words and I hummed in response to her rapid, breathy answer. I checked her temperature and blood pressure, writing my findings into my small notebook as if the results would help at all.

I knew what she had, I knew the last time I visited but I'd foolishly hoped that a herbal tonic might help. Fucking herbs, that's all I had to work with. Fight with. My remedies were becoming more and more useless to each patient as the living conditions only worsened in the sector.

She has hyperpyrexia, her body was like a damn furnace and her temperature had only increasing. It's at a stage where if left untreated, it's lethal. With the diseases that float around, especially in the cramped centre of the district's town, it's no shock. I couldn't crush plants together to fix this, she needed real medicine, stuff that couldn't be found in the trading markets.

I continued with a routine examination but midway though, she slipped out of consciousness and her answers to the most basic questions became slurred. My body turned to Eva, who sat with a quiet tentativeness in the corner, and she merely motioned to the door with her head before exiting.

"How bad is it? Be honest Maeve, please just tell me how it is?" I gulped, her loved one's life was a ticking time bomb ready to explode. Relaying that kind of information never got any easier.

"She needs proper medication. I can help to ease the pain somewhat with what I have but it won't be enough to save her."

Her shoulders shake. "How long?"

"Two weeks. Tops."

A defeated sigh leaves her body as she runs her hands down her face. My ribcage tightens around my heart, crushing it at the sight of her utter exhaustion. I'd given her a tonic during my last visit, to help alleviate some of the stress weighing down on her but it wouldn't ever be enough.

She held no responsibility to these people, yet she cared for them all the same. Anyone else stood where she is right now would have jumped ship a long time ago. I divert my eyes to the ground solemnly as she quickly darts her attention to me, some strength returning to her stance.

"What if I could get you into the wolves outpost? To the new hospital. If I could get you in and out undetected, could you get what she needs?"

I still in fear, venturing outside of our assigned district was a risk I had taken all of five times in five years, the chances of running into a potential mate was enough to ward me off, but entering their compound? To even enter into a higher division you need a pass, held only by human employees that work there, and to enter without one...

I swallow the knot that has formed in my throat and take in her hopeful expression.

"Please, I know it's risky, but I can get us in and out without any trouble. I have my contacts and you know you can count on me."

The reality of the situation started to eat at me. Because there was no hospital here, no medical outpost, no school or any system set up to accommodate to the growth of the future children. There was no infrastructure to provide us anything beyond basic needs. We had what we needed to survive and work and that was the entirety of our purpose now.

I stare at the door to a room holding a dying child. I trust Eva, I know I can, but to go head first into the lions den? My head starts to shake, and I grip the leather straps of my bag tightly.

Oliver's mantra rings in my brain. "I can't, there are barely enough humans with medical training left in our division. If I'm caught, what does that mean for everyone else? Besides, there's no telling whether there'd even be human medication there."

A deathly cough fills the silence of the hallway and I shut my eyes. I can't go. "I can get you into the main hospital's supply room, there's a human who works a cleaning shift there and they can provide us a window. They've had human mates visit, Mae, they're stocked enough that we can get what she needs and more."

"I'd need to talk with my husband," I say, a pang of guilt immediately hitting my chest as I do so. I know what that discussion will go like.

"Please, Maeve you are all that is standing between that little girl and her life—I promise you I'll get us passes and no one will know we are there."

I nod my head slowly, gulping as I do so. "In and Out?"

"In and out." I nod solidly and her face falls with relief. "We will leave in a week, Mae I cannot thank you enough,"

Her body envelops mine as she squeezes me tightly. "It's fine, but I better get going—there are more patrols on today, I don't want to stick around." Because my job was frowned upon by wolves, not my medical abilities—they were meaningless but my job status—an undesirable. They weren't kind to any human but one labelled a burden to their pack never met a fair encounter.

"Be careful," she warned. "They sent some Gamma's down this way last night," she tells me, her voice a hush. Eva's first words to me when I arrived in the shelter two years back was that kids were no better than parrots. Around here, you should only say what you know will be repeated.

So, any mention of pack politics was a slight shock. "Here? At night?" I ask and she nods solemnly, following my gaze to the sick girl. Gamma's held a position in the pack, not the highest ranking but many of them served on committees and would visit our town only when absolutely necessary.

"The kids know," she says. "They came looking through the shelters, almost like a headcount and wanted to know the age groups of our residents. When I told them we were strictly below sixteen they left pretty quickly—whatever they were looking for, we weren't it."

"Was it just the shelters?" I ask, securing my tools in my satchel. "They didn't come out our way."

She nods, "I think so, word on the street is they were after a younger crowd. People think they are searching for something—or someone. Just... be careful, avoid talk with anyone you don't know and if I were you, I'd cut down home visits this close to the centre for a little while."

My lips purse in thought as my mind instantly turns to my family. "Thank you, I'll be careful."

I made sure to leave her enough tonics to last the week, knowing full well they'd do below the bare minimum in managing that girls pain. It wasn't until the door thudded shut behind me as I entered the alley once more that the reality hit me with full force. I was going to a wolf outpost, I was entering a higher division without clearance, I was set to commit a crime against the pack.

That force should've made fear settle in my stomach, any rational person would recognise the warning signs and run. But for some reason, the thoughts, accompanied by the knowledge of what was at stake, set spark off in my heart. 

authors note:

UMMMMm can you actually BELIEVE that this chapter was first published in like 2020?? Wha waaaa? 

I'm still kicking guys (barely) and I've been reading each motivational message that comes through about this story--genuinely SHOCKED that to this day ppl still remember this series. 

I've been rewriting it, painfully slowly, between full time work and university (ya girls nearly graduateddd). And just dealing with crazy life. 

But if you're still here! UM thank you!!! And please please comment and engage, this series will stay close to its original but I'm tweaking it here and there, adding some cool elements and hopefully creating something you all love. 

Much, much love,

Khalesi

PS: please know I will wake up at the CRACK of dawn to read comments over my morning cuppa coffee so pretty please leave me someeeeeeee <3