Hey-lo.

So, I figured out I didn't do any chapter about that ! The bloody days, shark week, the full moon... Yo know what I mean.

So, I know that some people are feeling bad when they hear the word to refer to this, so, I am just not gonna use it, to avoid my fellow guys to feel bad. 

So basically, this chapter will be composed in two part: 

First, you know how it suck when you search informations/tips about it and it is written "for you ladies, woman cycles, blah blah blah", with little flowers everywhere? Well, here is your "male/non binary version". Even if flowers are super great, I know that sometimes, when you are feeling dysphoric about all of that, shark replacing flowers can be great too.

Secondly, tips about how to erase/ease dysphoria during that time. Also tips to feel better that could be useful only to guys/non binary pals. 

WARNING: In the first part, I will mention pads and all. I don't know if this make some on you feel bad? Well, sorry about that if it do...

I-  SO YOU ARE ACTUALLY LIVING SHARK WEEK ?

No problemo! Here, in this part, I will explain to the one who need it the different protection that exist and how you put them, but also the recipes to ease the pain, and the do and don't. Let's go!

1) Protections:

So. When this started to me, I was completely lost. I just put a lot of tolet paper in my panties and thought it was the thing to do. There is actually other things to do guys. You probably already know pads and tampons. I know these often are dysphoria induceers... But there's actually a lot of other ways to deal with that fucking time ! Still am I going to tell about tampons and pads, if you don't want to hear about it, skip to the C part!

A)Pads

Basically, if you don't want to put anything in that mess, pads are a great solution: You just have to put it in your panties (not in boxers, it is not adapted, but you can put one above your panties.) and change it every time you need it. In fact, it usually take one or two by day. Like, you put one on the morning, and put a new one to go to sleep. It all depends of you and the quantity of blood you loose man.

B)Tampons

Here, things are going to be a little more complicated. To be honest, I don't even know how to put that shit, I tried one day to go to the pool and I myserably failed. So. Still am I here to try to explain!

You have to localise your mangina (yeah, vagina, sorry for liking very bad puns). It is the hole that is the most near of your butt. I precise, because it in not always simple. Basically, this is where all the blood come from.  Put yourself in a comfortable position (as comfortable you can be putting on a tampon), and position the thing near the bloody place. Push it inside then. You have to let the thread outside, to be able to remove it after. You have to relax, it will be easier. It should not hurt. If it hurt you, please stop. To see if this is correctly in place, walk a little, do movements. you should not feel it. If it is uncomfortable/bothering, push it a little more. Don't keep that on for more than eight hour. It could be dangerous. Idealy, you should change it every four hours.

To remove it, put yourself on the toilet, take the thread, pull gently but firmly the thing, it will normally go out. If it is stuck, no panic!(at the disco) (sorry i am so sorry). Relax, it will ease the thing. Slowly try to pull it out. you could always try to catch it with your hand. Please, if you can't put if out yourself, don't stay with that in you. Ask or help, it could be dangerous.

C)menstrual sponge

Yeah, you read well. A sponge. I discovered that not long ago, and I never tried it. But I don't know, maybe saying you are putting a sponge will ease dysphoria. I think it looks like a sci-fi thing, it's pretty cool.

So, I'm pretty bad on that, but you should just put it in. Yeah, I'm pretty bad to explain... It is like a tampon without thread? Actually, you can have sex with that apparently. I guess not a lot of people want to have sex during shark week, especially if they have dysphoria down there, but now you know.

D)Menstrual underwear

I think that is the better thing? I only heard and read about it, I can only afford pads you know. But this is an underwear that absorb the blood. You just have to wash it and you can put it back again. It can be panties for the one who like it, or boxers! Yay!

So, this is what this guy is wearing.  So, I don't really know how you can buy that, and it is not an advertising for menstraution underwear. But if they give me money, I am okay with that, like, c'mon, give me free stuffs.

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2) How to ease the pain

So. Here are some way to ease the pain this shitty time gave you.

Pretty funny thing, I found an old book at my grandma's. It is like a sorcellery book, and there's recipes for when you are in your shark week! Yay! How do witches and magician deal with that?  Sure I will give other tips than that, but I thought it would've been funny. (there's a lot of plant names, I hope it will be the right traduction)

A) Witches tips

-absinthe in infusion (for late times)

-yarrow in infusion (ease the pain)

-alchemilla in decoction (for heavy full moon)

- Shepherd's purse in infusion (for heavy full moon)

-bird secretions in decoction (for painful times) (okay, so here I may not recommend)

B) Hot water bottle

I know, this is well known by everyone, but guys, this is so great. It really help a lot. I don't think I need to explain what it is. Just know that it is very very useful. Well, for me it is, I am not you, I can't assume it would work as well, but there are chances that it will.

C) Chocolate

This time guys, you can actually eat as much chocolate as you want without feeling guilty. I read a thing (Don't know if it is true btw) that say eating chocolate could ease/attenuate some of the pain. 

D) Walk

It is not possible for everyone. I know people wich feel better when walking a little, in the nature, that can ease their pain, but for me, it is impossible because I can't walk during those days!  But for the lucky guys/people outside that can walk, it could help! Of course, in your walk, don't forget water to stay hydrated, your phone to call (if you can't walk anymore (yeah I had some shitty experiences and i prefer precise that to avoid some other people the same problems)).

E)Don't forget to stay hydrated and to eat

It is really important, you shouldn't forget to drink water and eating, even if you are in pain.

F) Medication

Well, when this really hurt, I guess medication is a pretty good option. I personnaly can't go throught that without medication. I know this is not funny, but it may be the only way to ease the pain for some people.

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II- ERASING DYSPHORIA DURING THAT HELL

Here is the part to ERASE your dysphoria during that! Some things I tried, that worked, some others that come straight from my mind, other that I read... Bref, lets go!

Design

Are we okay to say that it suck to have on your anti-blood box a lot of flowers, unicorns and all that? Like... I LOVE flowers okay, but, and maybe this is dumb, it can be very not cool to see that, because society tell us flowers are for girls and that MENstruations are for girls, putting the two things together can not be pleasant... SO, here is my solutions! Try to redisgn/redecorate your box of hygienicals things! Here are some thing I did (yeah, with my computer because I just rob pads to my mom in secret).

I am sorry this is terrible.

For real, having a shark on it make me feel a little better. Maybe because it make me smill and kind of forget it, I don't know... Well, that was the tip 1. You can put anthing tou want on it, you can also draw it of course, Dinosaurus, werewolf, I don't know, anything you want!

Name it differently 

The name of that time can also be really painful to hear, if it is you it concern. Personnaly, hearing it, having my parents asking if "that's because you are on your p****d?" is a painful reminder that yes, I am on it, and that society shouts that this is for "women only".

Try to put a different name on it, it can help! Here are some (shitty) examples:

* Shark week (so famous)

* full moon (an horrible transformation, pain... yeah, you see)

* "the shining elevator is open". If you don't have the reference, here it is:

* an totally other name that don't even have to have a logical relation with that! I read that on the experience of a trans guy that he named it "penguin". I think it is cute. (But you may start hating penguins).

 Think of it differently

Don't think to yourself you are on your menstruations and that is " a girl thing". It is NOT.

* Think that, I don't know, you just caught a tropical disease that hurt you and make you bleed? OKAY MAYBE I DAYDREAM TOO MUCH, but, it is always a solution.

* Don't think of it like what people could have tell you like "a natural cycle for every growing up women", but think of it like a natural thing that can happen to anyone.

* Just take it like if you were sick. 

Just do all the things you do when you are dysphoric

It's time to play that dysphoria playlist you made or to make one! To draw in this notebook that is full of white pages! Of course, some things, like go for a run/walk are going to be more complicated in function of the level of pain... But there sure is a lot of thing to do while staying comfy! If you start watching the lord of the rings and the hobbit when you start bleeding, you'll finish these movie in the same time as the bleeding! Yay!

Be easy on yourself and treat yourself super well

Put yourself in a comfortable position and in a comfortable place, for example, on a couch or a bed full of pillows and blankets, with a hot water bottle on you and a hot cocoa. Listen to your needs, be indulgents on yourself. You feel like you can't do that thing now? Then, don't. It is not because you are a guy that you should be expect to be stronger:  don't let any toxic masculinity tell you that you should be stronger, or feel less pain than any other persons. Being in pain, mentally or physically is a thing that everyone can experience, and that no one like ! (i guess)

And finally ....

Sentences/actions to avoid telling you are on your shark week if you are uncomfortable saying it!

*My favorite is, when people ask if you are fine :" Of course I am not! I am an artist!" Work super well.

* "Why are you hurt?" --> I don't know, why are you ugly?! (yeah, I am mean on these times).

*"Hey, why are you so mean, are you on your p**i**ds?" --> "You should know I am mean all the times/ I'm mean with people who deserve my wickedness."

Basically, this is the type of things I say, but  yeah... Nothing really serious, in fact, I only have 4options, remember the four S :  Sarcasm, Silence, Self mockery, Security-escape. This do the job with everything.

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So, this is the end of this very looooooong chapter. Well, not so long but it took me time! Hope it is good?

Well, bye bye guys, good luck if you are on your shark week right now, i send you hugs!

Take care or you