Oh how the turns have tabled

Fawn's POV

I laid snug up against Alastor's side, both of us just enjoying each other's company. My body was spent after three rounds of love making, and I think he felt the same way.

The feeling of his thumb brushing up and down my waist was relaxing, and I moved my body to be further on top of him.

I just couldn't seem to get close enough.

We were, of course, still naked. The skin to skin contact was something I wanted to last for as long as possible.

Never have I felt so close to another human being before...an attachment that seems so strong it's almost a bit scary.

I can't believe I confessed to his face that I loved him...I looked him right in the eyes when I said it, and meant every word.

I love him...that's what those feelings were.

Love.

I don't know if he feels the same, but I know he must feel something close to it...he didn't hide after I'd said it.

He cried.

That's a moment I won't ever forget, a vulnerability that I feel like only I will ever witness from him. I felt honored and warm inside knowing that he trusts me so deeply.

Especially now...laying here against his chest, listening to the calm heartbeat behind his rib cage. Feeling the gentle rise and fall that comes with each breath he takes, and knowing that he is fully relaxed.

"Fawn..."

His voice was soft, gaining my attention. I tilted my head up so I could see him better, and when I could I was partially surprised to find he had no smile on his face.

Not even that small grin he wears when he's not fully smiling.

His expression was just relaxed, eyes trained up at the ceiling. He seemed to be thinking, or pondering something.

"What's up?" I asked him, and watched as a smile quirked the corners of his mouth, realizing my mistake too late.

"The ceiling..." he snickered, making me roll my eyes heavily before I giggled softly.

Then he sighed slightly and his smile faded. He wasn't frowning, his smile wasn't gone because he was upset, I could tell that much.

He's just...letting his face relax.

For once he's not pretending...and I'm the one he's being truly himself around...which, in itself, is a very rewarding sight.

I shifted slightly, pulling myself up so I was partially above him. He looked over into my eyes, the moonlight coming through the window the only source of illumination between us.

"But actually, what's up?" I asked him again, softer.

He pursed his lips slightly, glancing to the side.

Then he closed his eyes.

"Did you mean it...?" He asked quietly, making me tilt my head.

"Mean what?" I returned curiously, watching his eyebrows furrow. His grip around my waist tightened and he pulled me a bit closer.

"What you said..." he continued, "about..." the words trailed off but I think I understand.

I smiled slightly, shaking my head, "when I said I love you?" I asked, feeling him tense beneath me upon hearing those words again.

That was enough of an answer for me, but he nodded his head anyway.

My expression softened and I brought my hand up to his cheek, gently turning him towards me so he'd look me in the eyes again.

"Of course I meant it...I wouldn't have said that if I didn't mean it..." I reassured him with a smile, and the look in his eyes shifted from a mild worry to a soft happiness.

I caressed the side of his face, brushing back the hair in his eyes before I leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the lips.

Sweet and slow, I poured all the emotion I could into the kiss. If I could physically transfer this feeling over to him to let him know how serious I am, I would.

"Mm..." he moaned quietly against my lips, melting into the kiss.

Then I pulled away with that same smile.

His eyes stayed down after he opened them, and I could tell he was just a bit confused by all of this.

If I'm not used to it, I can only image how he feels. Someone like him who's trained themselves...convinced themselves they're nothing more than a monster.

When there's so much more to him than the monster behind the man.

"Alastor, look at me..." I instructed him, guiding his head upwards with my fingers beneath his chin. His eyes met mine, his emotions looking scattered.

Yet, the moment he focused on me his pupils dilated, and the worry seemed to dwindle from his expression.

"I love you." I said firmly, watching his eyes widen just barely at my affirmation, "I know you don't hear those words much...I don't know what this feels like to you, but for me I feel love...and I love you. That doesn't mean I'm forcing you to love me back..." I tried to shield the sadness in my tone when I spoke those words, but it showed through just a smidge.

"If you're not comfortable with any of this...I'm not going to hold it over your head, or use it against you. I don't want you to feel tra—"

A sudden pressure against my lips shut up my quickly spiraling monologue, leaving me to stare wide eyed at Alastor's closed lids while he kissed me.

When we parted, he chuckled, shaking his head slightly.

"You're ok, Fawn..." he nearly whispered, "you don't have to worry about me going anywhere...I don't understand these feelings that you've infected me with, but it feels...warm. You feel warm...and, I- I want you close to me...just stay close to me..."

Our noses brushed together and he nuzzled my forehead against his gently.

I was a bit shocked, but welcomed this affection with open arms.

But still I feel inclined to ease his nerves, if only slightly, about this subject of love.

"Ok..." I whispered back softly, placing a gentle kiss to his lips, "but I still don't want you to feel pressured into s-saying it back or anything..." I said, "I understand if you aren't ready yet..."

He looked into my eyes and smiled, pulling me closer so my chest was pressed against the side of his. Giving me no other answer, he ghosted his lips across mine before planting a soft kiss against them.

I don't know what he does to make them so addicting, but I could kiss his lips for the rest of my life.

Tracing small circles and shapes against his chest, I let him kiss me slowly. What he doesn't say in words, he shows in actions, and I'm perfectly ok with that.

When we parted he sighed contently, "thank you, darling...truly...but, I do have one concern..." he whispered against my lips, making me furrow my brows in confusion.

"What might that be about?" I asked him with a small smile, feeling his thumb mindlessly trace over the curve of my waist.

"Well...I'm sure you're well aware...or should I give you a lesson on how children are conceived?" He asked me, and although he was smiling there was a bit of unease behind the implied question.

My eyes widened and I perked up slightly at his concern with the matter. Quickly I shook my head, "oh! We don't have to worry about that, Al," I said with a smile.

He cocked and eyebrow, giving me a look.

"As much as that's good to hear...I'm inclined to ask why?" He said, amusement evident in his voice.

A bit of sadness washed through me, my eyes falling slightly as I settled against his chest.

"I'm infertile...no babies to be had in my foreseeable future..." I said, keeping a smile on my face, although a bit of that sadness seeped through my lighthearted comment.

Alastor's thumb paused and he was quiet for a second. Then he hummed, and I felt him kiss the top of my head, lingering there for a moment.

"You don't sound too happy about that, cher..." he said softly, the gentle movements of his thumb starting up again.

I shrugged, sighing through my nose, "it's not the...easiest news to hear..." my voice grew more somber as I remembered the situation that lead to my infertility, "I don't even know if I wanted to have kids, but having a choice would've been nice, at least."

I know he's probably curious, so I'll save him the trouble of having to ask.

"When I was younger...my mother and I lived pretty comfortably. Then, the stock market crashed...my mother lost nearly everything we had, and times were tough to say the least," I paused to take a breath, my nail tracing lazily across his chest, "with that struggle came a lack of food...lack of medicine...she did her best to keep me fed and happy and...ignorant," I chuckled softly.

"But, in the end there's only so much you can hide from a nine year old with no friends," I joked, earning an amused chuckle from him.

My smile faded and I closed my eyes, "I ended up getting sick...really sick..." I said, barely above a whisper, "my mom couldn't afford the medicine...but don't get me wrong, she tried! She tried and tried, doctor after doctor she tried to get me help, medical attention, anything. No one would help..."

I paused, letting him soak up that information for a second.

"I did get better...but long story short, that one moment in time gifted me with a lifetime supply of birth control," I joked dryly, "which brings us to now...I cannot get pregnant, so don't worry yourself about it," I said, my smile returning as I tilted my head up towards him.

He was quiet, looking down at me with soft eyes. It wasn't pity...he wasn't looking down at me with pity...more like admiration.

"You fascinate me, woman..." he whispered, making me blush. I hid my face in his neck, "oh stop it..." I murmured.

He chuckled, his chest rising and falling heavily as he sighed, "ah...it's for the best, anyway. Not that you cannot bear my children, but simply that I never become a father...I am not fit for such a thing," he said, making me furrow my brows and pull away from his neck to look at him.

"How so?" I asked, making him tilt an eyebrow at me as if the answer were obvious.

"I am a killer...have you forgotten?"

I rolled my eyes at him, shaking my head, "that doesn't take away from one's ability to parent...but I won't fight you on this. It's not like I have the option to give you a child anyway, so the subject is irrelevant..." I said, ending that conversation.

I feel like I probably would've only opened up a can of worms had I pressed that subject, so let's leave it for now.

Instead, I changed the topic casually, "but you know what is relevant?" I said, my smile widening.

His expression immediately shifted upon my new, happier tone. This new topic was one I had been thinking about since he offered it...

"What would that be, dear?" He replied, eager to hear what has gotten me to perk up.

I pulled myself up over his hips, straddling him. His eyes widened and so did that smile on his face, making me roll my eyes.

Nonetheless, I laid my hands against his chest and trailed my fingers down to his stomach, watching the muscles reflexively tense beneath my gentle touch.

"Were you serious about what you offered me?" I asked him, "about broadcasting with you?"

His eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, a smile that nearly split his features appearing on his face as he sat up quickly.

I squeaked, almost falling out of his lap with how fast he moved but a quick arm around my waist kept me from toppling over.

"Yes! Of course I was, I would love to have you sitting next to me to give a report...are you saying that you truly want to?" He asked me giddily, looking into my eyes expectantly.

I was surprised, my eyes wide and blinking every now and then. Really, I was expecting him to tell me no, he hadn't been serious. It's Alastor, for gods sake, the man is made from arrogance...for him to share his show with me...?

Slowly my shock turned into a big smile and I pulled myself closer to him, nodding as I draped my arms over his shoulders.

"Yea! Sounds fun...although, I don't know what I'd report about," I giggled with a shrug. He seemed unbothered, simply ecstatic over my words of confirmation.

"Don't you worry your gorgeous little head over that part, dear! That's why we have reporters and writers! In fact, my best reporter already whipped you up a little segment earlier today," he said quickly, almost as if him speaking fast would draw us closer to the inevitable event.

I couldn't help but giggle at his excitement, bringing my hands up to his face to brush back his messy hair and run my fingers down his cheeks. I cupped his face, down by his jaw and closer to his neck.

Drawing closer to him, I fluttered my eyes halfway closed, brushing our noses together just barely. Successfully, this calmed his excitement...but stirred up a different kind of excitement that I could now feel steadily growing between my legs.

"Is that right?" I purred, "you did all that for me?" I asked him sweetly, noticing the way his hands tightened on my hips.

He nodded, "yes, of course...I'd give you the entire world, Fawn...just say the words and it's yours..." he said back, his tone turning breathy as our hips began grinding together.

I held onto him, panting softly now over the friction of our bodies together. His lips were only a whisper away, so I took it upon myself to close that space.

His hips were grinding upwards into me now, each time brushing across my very sensitive little bundle of nerves. They screamed at me to give it a rest, but the entire rest of my body told them to shut up.

Between kisses, I got out a breathless, "round four?" To which he chuckled deeply, nipping at my bottom lip with his teeth slightly before he answered.

"And five...and six..." he added, smirking at the way my face flushed at his readiness. Then I suddenly was flush against him, his lips by my ear as he lined himself up with me for the fourth time tonight.

"I could worship your body for the rest of my life..." he whispered by my ear, followed by a suppressed groan as he slid into me. I didn't even try to quiet myself, my nails once again making their home the skin on his back as I moaned.

His lips locked onto my neck as he lifted me and started ramming his hips upward into mine. I quickly lost my breath, holding onto him for support.

This man's stamina is just about the same as a fully grown horse.

I really hope I'll be able to walk tomorrow.