Here she is! And she's judging you.

Fawn's POV

My nerves have been eating away at me ever since I got back to the studio with Alastor. I tried my best to hide it, to hide these swirling emotions behind a bright smile...

But now that it's nearing the evening and I've yet to do what mama Edith asked of me...I'm getting more and more nervous.

Do I have to do it tonight?

My thoughts whispered at me as I chewed on my bottom lip, my brows pulled together in silent worry.

That depends, are you ready to die?

My thoughts mocked me. Belittled me and hissed at me to just keep my mouth shut.

But I can't hide this from him forever. I can't pretend forever, and I most definitely don't want to lie to him forever.

He's going to notice my lack of progress in returning home, and he'll ask about it eventually.

So, I might as well get this over with.

I trained my eyes over towards the bedroom door. Alastor was in the cellar currently, 'handling' something.

I have a feeling I know what he's doing, but with my mental crisis right now I can hardly focus on that. Instead I'm trying to prepare what I'm going to say.

What am I going to say...?

At the sound of footsteps walking towards the room, my eyes shot wide open and my breath hitched.

No! No, wait I'm not ready yet!

The door clicked open and in slipped the man himself. His hair was ruffled and his clothing was just slightly askew. I cocked my head, wondering what on earth happened down there.

Momentarily my curiosity beat out my nerves, "uh, what the fuck happened to you?" I chuckled, gaining his attention.

He looked up at me with a tight smile on his face and slightly unhinged eyes, but the moment he met my gaze his expression seemed to soften.

"Ah..." he cleared his throat, "do you...want the truth, or would you prefer a lie...?" He asked me, slightly sheepishly.

Mulling it over for a second, I grimaced involuntarily at the thought of what might have happened down there.

Especially with the blood spots that I could now clearly see on his dress shirt.

"Lie to me," I said, fixing my legs beneath myself as I leaned forward and rested my chin in my hand.

He sighed roughly, not towards me but towards whatever transpired in the basement. Raking his fingers back through his hair, he broke into a tiny rant.

"Well let's just say, last night I hunted this deer while you were asleep. Now, I wanted to have a bit of fun with the deer, because frankly, it pissed me the fuck off," he nearly growled.

I know I shouldn't be attracted to that, but the way my stomach fluttered betrayed my moral code.

"But the stupid animal had a bit more fight in it than I originally anticipated, so I had to get rid of it prematurely. Not only that, but he—I mean, it hit me!" He continued, exasperated. I did notice, then, the slight red mark on his cheek.

My brows furrowed, "you're not hurt are you?" I asked him worriedly, making him pause before he looked at me. His smile had dropped and his lips were parted.

I was worried I'd said something to offend him even more than he already was, but his smile returned a split second later, much softer now.

"I'm fine, cher...just a bit ruffled is all," he rolled his eyes with a huff, "but, I took care of it in the end," he added with a sigh.

Then he grumbled something about not being able to do all he'd planned as he walked past me towards his dresser.

I shivered slightly.

My nerves that had muted for that little tangent returned with a vengeance as I realized he's already in a bad mood.

That won't help my case at all.

I went back to biting my lip, my knees curling up to my chest as my brain clouded over with a storm of muddled emotions.

Is this going to be my last night alive...?

From what he just told me...he already killed someone tonight. So, maybe he'll be more inclined to hear me out?

Suddenly, I felt fingers under my chin and my face was lifted to meet the brown eyes of the man I can't seem to stop thinking about.

"Cherie..." he said softly, "what's the matter...? You've been awfully quiet ever since we got home, are you sure you're just tired?" He asked me.

My brain short circuited, words trying and failing to leave my mouth. Somewhere between now and when I'd spaced out he had slipped out of his shirt.

"I..." I started, a warm blush slowly crawling across my nose. My lips pursed together as I tried to form a sentence, and finally I just pulled away from him, shaking my head.

"Yea, I just...I'm tired..." I mumbled.

He was silent, the atmosphere suddenly feeling thick. I have a feeling he knows I'm lying to him, and I doubt he likes being lied to.

I couldn't bring myself to meet his eyes, because I'm scared if I do I'll just spill all my worries out into the open...but I'm not ready just yet.

"Ok..." he said, "here's what's going to happen, dear. I am going to go take a shower...you can sit out here and gather your thoughts, and when I come back, I'm fully expecting you to explain to me what's bothering you," he said firmly.

The hair on the back of my neck prickled and my skin felt hot.

My brain was screaming at me 'too soon! Too soon!' But I know there's no getting out of this now.

So, after a moment of silence, I gave a short, quick nod.

He said nothing further, just slipped away to the bathroom and shut the door softly. A moment later I heard the water come to life, and the sound actually made me flinch.

Tik

Tok

Time's running out, Fawn, it's almost up...

You're on your last grain of sand, and it's just waiting to fall through.

The only thing I'm worried about is what's going to happen when I run out of time...

Will my confession be my last breath? Will he pity me and let me live, but throw me out onto the street?

He seems to enjoy my company...is it so far fetched to believe he might feel the same...?

Tik

Tok

The rhythm of my heart was the only comfort I could seem to find as I rocked myself slightly.

It can't be too bad, right? Dying can't be too bad...

Tik

Tok

I buried my head into my knees, the shower sounding like white noise, only way too loud.

Like tv static loud.

Slowly I came to accept what may or may not happen in the next fifteen or twenty minutes.

It's not like I have anything to go home to...and even if he does decide to get rid of me after tonight, I'll be happy to go wherever death leads me.

Maybe it'll take me back to mama...

Tik

Tok

The sound of the shower turning off pulled me out of my thoughts. The minutes he had been in there felt like seconds, the time slipping through my fingers like water.

Only a few moments later the door clicked open, revealing a freshly showered Alastor to me.

He was wearing night pants, still no shirt.

Walking up to me, he pushed his slightly damp hair back and gave me a playful smile.

"Time's up, Fawn," he joked, unaware that my time really was up.

I gave him a weak smile. At least he seems to be in a better mood after that shower...his body still looks a tad bit tense, though.

Tilting my head slightly, I moved over so he could sit next to me. In one smooth motion he sat down, the force of the weight shifting causing me to bounce a little.

I felt conflicted looking at him. A flurry in my stomach, warmth on my face, and a pang of sadness that I couldn't seem to shake.

Patiently he sat and waited, looking at me expectantly.

Taking in a deep breath, I opened my mouth, trying to force the words out. Nothing came, though. No noise, no words, not even a little squeak.

I shut my mouth and bit my lip, unable to look him in the eyes. I must've stayed like that for a moment too long, because next thing I know he breaks the silence.

"Sweetie, I can't help if I don't know what's wrong..." he said softly, his tone holding slight concern.

My eyes closed at those words, and I tried to calm myself down slightly.

Help...he wants to help...

"We're friends...right?" I finally uttered quietly, my voice sounding small.

Alastor shifted beside me, "I'd like to say so, cher," he chuckled, "is that what got you all worked up?"

Quickly I shook my head no, keeping my eyes on my lap.

"No, it's...it's not that it's more of a...personal problem..." I mumbled, then sighed, "I'm just worried about how you'll react when I tell you what it is..." I finally admitted.

He went slightly stiff.

"You didn't tell someone about me...right?" He asked warily, his tone holding a different edge to it. An edge I knew would cut me if I walked it too closely.

I shook my head again, "no, god no," I said with a soft chuckle. My laughter died off after a second and we sat in silence once more.

The air was suffocating, the tension almost unbearable.

That's when I decided to just rip off the Bandaid.

"I don't want to go home..." I said softly, and once I'd finally said it, the room went deathly still. I don't even know if Alastor was breathing.

"What...?" He spoke, as if asking if he heard me correctly.

I raised my eyes to meet his for the first time in this entire conversation. I'm sure my eyes were misty and helpless. I repeated myself, a bit louder.

"I don't want to go home...I-I like it here with you, a-and I didn't...I didn't want to, but I can't help it. I-I know you said you want me out of here as fast as possible, a-and our deal...so I understand if you—"

The sound of laughter cut off my rambling, making my eyes widen as I watched him break into amused giggling. My heart skipped and jumped up to my throat.

Oh, god, he's gonna kill me.

"Mon petite faon, is that really what has you so upset, my darling?" He chuckled, raising an eyebrow.

My lips stayed formed into a soft, worried pout as I remained silent, just staring at him. My expression must have told him all he needed to know, because his smile slowly relaxed.

He pulled his brows together in slight concern.

"Cher, you're trembling..." he said softly, and I realized then that I was. My entire body was tensed and shaking just slightly.

He shook his head, his amusement dwindling by the second, "are you still so terrified of me? You think I'd hurt you?" He asked, his voice actually sounding slightly hurt.

My eyes widened and I opened my mouth to respond. It took me a second to gather my thoughts, confusion flooding my brain, "I-I just...I thought that...you said i-if I couldn't get home you'd..." my voice fell off, the words unable to breach my lips.

He tensed next to me, and the air still felt too thick. Then, slowly he reached towards me. He moved as if he were trying to coax a wild animal into trusting him, as if one wrong move and I'd skitter away into a nearby storm drain.

My body remained tense, my brain still screaming at me to run.

But I don't want to run.

The second his fingers made contact with my face, I melted into his touch and let my eyes fall shut.

That single touch was such a relief, such a welcome response that my body wholeheartedly accepted it. So gentle, and the opposite of what I was expecting.

I brought my hand up to his wrist, holding him there. My lip trembled slightly and I shook my head.

"I'm sorry, I just...I-I didn't want you to be mad at me, and I–I thought—" my voice cracked and he shifted next to me, bringing his other hand up to my cheek to wipe the tears as they fell.

"Fawn, Fawn...sweetheart, please look at me..." he spoke softly, almost desperately.

My eyes opened, my lips quivering as I fought the tears. I had been so terrified to tell him...and now he doesn't even seem to care that I don't want to leave.

I don't know whether to be relieved or embarrassed.

When our eyes met he smiled, shaking his head with a quiet chuckle, "I'm not mad at you, honey, you haven't done a single thing wrong...I should've told you this sooner, but I'm nullifying our deal," he said, "it was a silly, meaningless handshake anyway...if I had known it was effecting you like this, I'd have done this earlier..."

My lips parted in shock, a few more tears slipping down my cheeks. He swiped them away, smiling softer.

"You are the best company I could've ever asked for...it would make me so happy if you choose to stay here with me," he continued.

I couldn't hardly believe what I was hearing. My tears dried and I blinked in surprise at his words.

Edith had been right after all...

Still, I had to make sure. I had to get reassurance that he's not just tricking me.

"Y-you're serious?" I said, "no tricks...?"

The amusement in his eyes returned and he chuckled, shaking his head, "no tricks, cher...although..."

My ears twitched at that and I watched him briefly glance at my lips.

"I'm a bit curious about something..." he said, his eyes softening as he shifted closer to me. My heart skipped a beat, electricity prickling my skin at the feeling of his fingers dragging down my cheek.

He moved his hand to the side of my face by my jaw, partially supporting the back of my neck as well.

"Could you close your eyes for me...?" He asked me quietly, his eyelids lowered as he looked from my eyes to my lips.

I couldn't help but glance at his lips as well before I nodded slightly. Hesitating only for a second, I let my eyes flutter closed.

There was a moment of him not doing anything, just the sound of his soft breathing and my racing heartbeat.

Then the bed shifted as he moved, and I almost gasped when I felt him press his forehead to mine. Our noses brushed together and I could feel the electricity between us.

His lips ghosted over mine, causing my breath to hitch in my throat. I kept my hands in my lap, sitting perfectly still.

"Just tell me you don't want this...just say the words and I'll stop..." he whispered, brushing his thumb over my cheek.

I knew I should've taken that moment in stride and shoved him away from me. I should've pulled back, turned my head, or simply said no.

Instead I stayed completely silent, my breaths trembling as I waited for him to continue.

There was only a moment of hesitation, a second longer that he waited for me to change my mind.

Then he closed the space, connecting our lips.

A feeling of shock and euphoria clouded my brain, my hands immediately raising up to his bare chest.

The kiss was gentle, almost timid. His lips were soft and warm, and he tasted a bit like blood, but I didn't mind.

I kissed him back instantly, allowing my body to give in to this unexpected pleasure. He let out something similar to a sigh, along with a soft groan.

Way too soon he pulled away and my eyes opened up, blinking a few times to get rid of the leftover shock I was feeling.

The look on his face was almost dazed, his breaths coming slightly heavier now.

When our eyes met, the blush that had bloomed across his face deepened.

He stayed silent, seemingly lost in thought. The feeling of his lips lingered against mine, and I found myself missing it.

So, instead of trying to form any words, I slid my hand up behind his neck and pulled him back towards me.

This time, it was me who connected our lips and I kissed him deeply. I wanted to let him know that I was happy he'd done it.

I shifted my body without breaking the kiss, pulling myself over into his lap. My knees now rested on either side of him and his arms were around me supporting my back.

Tilting my head, I ran my tongue across his bottom lip. There was no hesitation before he opened his mouth and let me in. The taste of iron was strong but not overwhelming.

The room was filled with sounds of heavy breathing and panting between kisses. I could clearly feel him getting excited, and that fueled my own excitement as a buzzing heat slowly spread across my lower abdomen.

All the feelings I'd begun to develop for him were spilling into this kiss, and he wasn't slowing me down or stopping me.

We broke apart so we could catch our breath, both of our chests heaving.

"I've never done this before, cher..." he whispered against my lips that were still hovering over his. He shook his head and chuckled breathlessly, "I apologize if I stumble on a few steps, I'm not too familiar with this dance..."

Never done this before...?

"You've never kissed anyone before...?" I asked him, pulling back slightly with my eyebrows furrowed. His hands rested on my waist and he shook his head.

My heart hit my ribs a million miles a minute. My smile widened and I leaned forward to push my nose up against his with a soft giggle.

"Neither have I..." I whispered back.

Then the space closed again.