Dipper's mind was no longer able to process everything as before. He couldn't understand what was happening, and somehow, hoped it was all a bad joke from his sister. Though, by the tone of voice, and the look in her eyes, it wasn't. He had asked for the truth, but was starting to doubt if he had meant it.

"This is... A little complicated to explain, Dipper," Mabel sighed, looking down to stare the floor.

"Why?"

"It took us all long enough to get over it, and now..."

"Gosh, just say it! What type of freak thing happened to me?"

"Ah, look, it's kind of a long story"

"I have much time. Go on, Mabel"

"Do you know old man McGucket?" She slowly asked.

"What? What the hell? Of course I do!"

"You know what I'm really scared of?" Mabel softly laughed, "I'm scared I'll tell you this, and you'll think I'm making this up. Because... It just doesn't sound like you, and that's why we never saw it coming. I mean... Grunkle Stan believes it was an accident, and I'm with him, but Grunkle Ford... He just, I don't know, he says he saw it happening once, and he shouldn't be surprised in happened again"

"Make yourself clearer," Dipper replied, as he tensed a little. Something about the tone she was using, something about how she was so hesitant to tell him. Something about "it just doesn't sound like you" was making everything a lot worse.

He didn't know who he was anymore. He didn't know who he had been, he didn't know who he was going to be when woke up in the next morning. He didn't know anything.

And the fact that he truly never knew himself wasn't, certainly, helping.

"What did I do?" He asked finally. For once, letting all his fears aside, and hunting for what he came for. The anxiety growing inside him by every moment was making it all worse, not the answer.

The answer couldn't possibly make him "unknown" himself even more. He was already lost, it was impossible to get any farther in the dark sea. Whatever the answer was, it wouldn't cause him to sink even more, it would either have him stuck in the same desperate point, or give him a little flashlight, that would lead to the final rescue.

"I don't believe you did it, I belive it happened by accident. I need to make that clear, do you understand me?" She made a small pause. "Your memory was erased. I believe it was an accident, I don't know how, I don't know why, but I still believe... I don't even know anymore, really. I think I'm making myself believe it was an accident for so many years, because. I can't afford thinking you did it to yourself, and that I should have noticed. I should have seen it coming. But that I was so worried about stupid things, that I forgot to pay attention, and I just..."

"Wait... No. I did what?"

"Grunkle Ford, maybe he's right, you know?" The girl continued her monologue. "Maybe you did it to yourself, maybe it was too much. Maybe it didn't affect us the same, because I was too stupid to realize what had actually happened. Maybe I was so worried about my stuff, and about my life that I never noticed how much of a big deal what we lived was. And you did. You always did, right?"

"I did this to myself? I? That was the key answer this entire time? I?"

"I'm sorry"

"Holy shit, this...," he stopped himself. "Why the nightmares? Why the dreams? Is it really impossible for the human mind to erase anything?"

"I don't know! I know that Grunkle Ford tried to find a way to fix it. We wanted to fix it. We wanted you to remember, and... The way didn't fix it. Not the way we expected. We had to deal with nightmares, with weird dreams, we had to deal with the problems we created. So we just agreed to treat it as, well, disturbing nightmares, and things your head made up, and never talk about what happened"

"That's insane," Dipper interrupted, standing up, and heading to the door, but quickly being stopped by his sister, who was clearly on the verge of tears.

"Where you going?"

"Holy shit, Mabel. I'm going to take a fucking walk, and see if my brain can understand the things you just told me"

"Can I, uh, go with you? Please?"

He sighed. "I really think I need some time alone right now, ok?"

***********************

You guys disappointed? Yes? No? Did you guys like it? What do you guys think about it? Ooh, was it an accident? How's 2018 going, uh? Pretty good? Mine is kind of messed up, I mean, school is back on 22th, and I'm sad. So little time for vacation, so much to do!