All the posts I see pointing out immature internet behaviors (usually fandumb stuff, like how you shouldn't be hating on a character or actor, or generalized callouts, like how you shouldn't hating on fellow Wattpadders) pretty much only have comments like "I AGREE 1000%" or "THANK YOU" or "PREACH"

so either a) these posts aren't being read by the people who actually need to know this stuff (or maybe they are but those people aren't commenting, which isn't very helpful because then you have no idea if anyone who needs to hear this has actually heard it)

or b) the people who comment don't realize that they're actually part of the problem because it's easier to condemn others than to examine and fix your own problems.

For example, I think gossip is awful. And yet I still find myself doing it sometimes. Sometimes even gossiping about other people who gossip! I've been trying to recognize and circumvent those moments lately, but I still slip up. If someone said, "Don't talk bad about people, y'all," I would totally agree with them. And then I might, just minutes later, slip up and mock some immature Wattpadder to my friends. Then my agreement would be worthless, because I've just added to the problem.

You can agree to whatever you want in your mind, but until you truly examine your behaviors and make a change for the better, you're not actually changing anything.

>>Self-Improvement<<

Even if, after true introspection, you don't think you're a part of the problem, there's always something you can do to improve yourself. In anything.

Let's do a little object lesson. I learned this from Lisa Mangum, head editor at Shadow Mountain, and I love it. It's short, and I think it's really cool so I would 100% recommend following along.

Everybody reach up your hand as high as you can.

Good.

Now reach higher.

Did you feel that? You just stretched higher. Even though I originally said to reach as high as you can.

That? That is your self-improvement. For anything. Writing, drawing, social skills, introspection, math, spiritual strength, anything you try to improve.

Because, and I truly believe this with my whole soul, the purpose of this life is to improve. To become better. To, eventually, through the grace of Christ, become perfect (which is a lifelong effort - no shortcuts!). But even if you're not comfortable looking at things through a spiritual lens like that, the idea that you can always improve (and should take an active effort in your own improvement) is a psychologically healthy way to view life.

Well, that's all well and good, but what if you're trying to improve but just keep messing up? I get into that a lot. Where I'll condemn myself for my mistakes. Why did I just do that? I've been trying not to do that! How can I improve if I keep messing up?

That's where forgiveness comes in.

I believe in spiritual forgiveness and peace from Jesus Christ. However, even if you don't believe in Him, everyone can forgive themselves. You can receive all the forgiveness, spiritual or otherwise, and stay in the exact same place emotionally if you don't forgive you. You need to let yourself make mistakes.

*sigh*

And when I figure out how to do that for myself, I'll let y'all know.

For now, I just have to keep praying for the Savior to make up the difference and help me forgive myself. He can always make up the difference, even if you can't. You simply have to let Him.

It doesn't mean you don't have to work for it, though - nothing in this life is free, or else what's the point in being here to become better? Christ's grace is available to all: "for we know that it is by the grace of Christ that we are saved, after all we can do" (2 Nephi 25: 23). That last part, "after all we can do," is easy to forget and sometimes daunting. But if we're trying to improve (or trying a little harder to be a little better, as Gordon B Hinckley used to say), we can draw on His strength to make that improvement possible.

In non-spiritual terms, you can always improve. And self-forgiveness is an essential tool to psychological health. Life is meant for you to grow, so why limit yourself? Try. Try to improve. Let yourself make mistakes, even as you attempt to improve. Actively wanting to improve is better than stagnating. Let yourself fail.

I promise it's allowed.