"I COULD BE anywhere in the world right now, and here I am, helping you move in. I think I deserve an ice cream for this, Salome."

"We can negotiate that later, Cami."

My best friend Camille and I stood outside my new apartment, watching as the moving-in guys helped push my boxes of stuff through the door. Camille had come over a few days earlier than me, since she was moving into the school dorms. She'd decided to feel helpful enough to come help out, though all that had amounted to so far was a lot of chatting.

I casted surreptitious glances at Orion's apartment. 2D. Right across mine. It was a Saturday, so I wasn't sure if he was in or not. But surely if he was he might have heard the commotion, glanced out and said hi to me by now? He probably was out with his friends for the weekend.

"I'm going to visit you so much," Camille sighed. "Can't wait until I can move out to an apartment too."

"How are you going to do that when you can't even cook or take care of yourself?"

Camille shot me a glare. "Well, I'll be sure to live near you so I can come and eat your cooking every night, then."

I glanced at her with mock outrage. "Or just learn how to take care of yourself, Camille Tsang!"

"Why would I do that when I have you around?" Camille asked, pulling her fingers through her long curls.

I'd met Camille in fourth grade, when we were still both studying in Hong Kong. We became fast friends, and really got closer in the early years of secondary school. She went to my boarding school two years after I'd already gone, and we attended sixth form together in England. And now here we were together, at university.

She knew Orion. I'd told her that he was my neighbour again. She knew I'd known him since we were kids, but I'd never let her in on my crush either.

Too embarrassing.

"Because I can't be here for you forever?" I retorted, raising a brow. "I really hope you're not expecting me to stay by your side forever and cook and clean for you all the time."

"No," she pouted, "but I thought you could help me long enough until I find someone else who can do it for me."

"Get rich. Then you can hire a nanny."

"A nanny?"

"If you're such a big baby, they'd be the best people for the job."

She punched me on the shoulders. I laughed and stepped back into the apartment. Most of the large furniture was already in place. The movers told me they were going to get back downstairs to grab the boxes of smaller stuff, and I nodded my appreciation.

Camille tilted her head at me. "You want a drink?"

"I don't have anything bought."

She rolled her eyes with a scoff. "Of course you don't. You've just moved in. There's a Co-op right around the corner, I can grab something for the two of us. Apple juice for you?"

"Yeah." I grinned. "Thanks. I'll stay here for the movers."

She nodded and went to grab the elevator, and I stayed in my apartment, the door still open, pacing around.

Then, I heard the sound of a creaking door and glanced up at the source of the noise, which just so happened to be the door right opposite mine. A door whose opening I'd been rather dreading.

"If you'd told me you were moving in today I'd have helped."

And in that moment I realised I'd been lying to myself. How did I ever think I was over him? How did I ever think I'd moved on? Because as I stared into the figure of Orion Ip, a charming smile on his face, leaning against his doorway, stance relaxed, my heart started pounding.

"Hello Orion."

"Hello Salome." He pushed his fingers through his dark mop of hair. He always made it look effortlessly well-groomed. He was always clean, always proper.

I'd braced myself for this of course. Seeing him again. Being face-to-face with him, talking to him, preparing for the small talk and casual conversations without ever getting too close. But at that moment, my mind went totally blank.

We were both silent for a long moment. I found myself studying him, taking him in, as he did the same with me. He was still mostly the same—Auntie Ip had complained last year that he'd dyed his hair grey, but it was back to his usual ink black now. His eyes, dark brown, had seemed to grow more mature as he glanced at me behind his black rimmed glasses. He seemed to be looking right through me as he surveyed me, and I was suddenly self-conscious of my low-waist jeans and white and pink baby tee.

He'd seemed to grow even taller than two years ago, which was impossible. But he had grown bigger—he had always been toned, but now his muscles were easy to see. He was in a white t-shirt with blue shorts—home clothes, the kind I'd have seen him in when we were kids and still living in the same building.

Well, I supposed we were living in the same building again now.

"How's life?" he asked, breaking the silence.

I flashed a smile. "Pretty good. You?"

"Pretty sweet too," he replied. "You've grown up a lot."

"Well," I said with a laugh, "I am eighteen now."

"Jesus," he muttered, shaking his head. "Feels like yesterday you were still eleven."

"I'm only two years younger than you," I protested. "I'm not a baby, Orion."

Something flickered in his eyes and I felt him surveying me once more before he tilted his head. "No. I suppose you're not. How's adulthood, Salome?"

"I've been an adult for about six months. I'm over the novelty by now."

"Sorry I haven't really kept in contact."

I blinked, looking away. He'd never kept in contact. Not even when we had been in the same school, the same apartment in Hong Kong. I was always invisible. There, but invisible.

I didn't say that, of course. I shook my head. "To be fair, I didn't either. We were always friends more because of proximity than anything anyways."

To my surprise, when I turned back to look at him, he looked... hurt, almost. The expression left his face as quickly as he appeared, and he creased his brows. "Is that what you think?"

"Is it not true?" I asked, one brow raised. "Two years might not be a lot of difference to us now, but it sure as hell was back then. No way I'd have befriended you if not for our parents." No, I'd have noticed him either way. I knew I would. I'd seen him once at five years old and fell, fell, fell. I'd find him everywhere, I knew I would.

But he didn't need to know that at all.

"I don't think so." The simple earnestness in his voice took me aback. I blinked, straightening.

"I've been moving in all morning," I told him, "why you'd only come out to say hi now?" That was genuine curiosity. I hadn't seen him go in, so he must have been in his apartment all morning. It was nearing twelve now.

"Well, I only woke up around an hour ago, and when I glanced out of the door viewer there were so many people I didn't want to disturb you guys."

"What, so you waited until everyone left?"

"Yeah, basically," he laughed. "The girl with you, I recognise her. She was from Arrington, wasn't she?" Arrington was our British boarding school.

"Camille Tsang, yeah. She was in my year. You've definitely seen her around before.'

He nodded. "Thought so. You're still friends?"

"Yeah. I'd known her even before we went to the UK. She studied at our primary and secondary school."

"I didn't know that."

I wanted to tell him that he didn't know a lot of things about me, but I kept silent. I was trying to not pique his interest in me. Trying to make him see me as invisible, so that I could see him as invisible too. So that I could forget about him.

He just had to stop being so nice.

"You remember Dean Hui?"

"He was in your year, right? I've spoken to him a couple times." Dean had been one of the people always around Orion, one of his closest friends. That had attracted my attention back then, especially since Dean and I had both been involved in the school Drama department. I thought I could use him to attract Orion's attention, get closer to him, but I'd ended up feeling bad for using him. We had been friends, but never close.

"He's here too. Lives a few streets away, and he visits quite a bit. Next time he does, we'll knock on your door and you can say hi."

"Oh. That'll be nice."

I wasn't sure what else to say.

After a moment, I murmured, "I wonder when Camille is coming back."

His gaze flickered to the lift and then back to me. "Want to escape me so badly?"

I blinked, nonplussed, glancing at him. "What? No." Yes. Yes. I want to stop talking to you. I want to stop myself before those butterflies in my stomach revive again, before I fall fall fall and am unable to get back out. But instead of all those things, I just laughed. "She's getting me drinks. I'm thirsty. And sweating like a pig"

"Ah." He nodded understandingly. "It's late August. Of course it's boiling hot. It'll be better in a few days."

I pretended to shiver. "British weather."

"At least it's less hot than Hong Kong."

"The lack of pouring rain, though, greatly makes up for the flaws of Hong Kong climate."

Silence again, as both of us ran out of words to say. Finally, he shook his head and straightened himself. "We should go out for dinner sometimes. Maybe bring Camille along, if you want to. I can bring Dean with me too."

He was trying to make it less awkward. He had to sense how strange I felt talking to him, how I just wanted to escape. But at the same time he felt the weight of the duties his parents and mine must have imposed upon him. I almost felt bad.

"Maybe. Wouldn't want to bother you."

"I'm not that busy," he promised. "We can text. Or I can just knock on your door, neighbour."

I shook my head. "Somehow, all these years, and we're still neighbours."

He gave a charming, lopsided grin. "It's fate, Salome. You can't escape it. We were just meant to be neighbours, it seems."

The lift gave a loud ding then, and both of us turned our heads to face it. Orion pushed his hair out of his eyes. "Right. I'll stop bothering you now. Good luck with the move, Salome."

"Thanks," I said, offering him my first genuine grin since our conversation began. "Have a nice day."

His door slammed shut right as Camille came over. She frowned. "Was that...?"

"Orion just wanted to say hi." And then I took the bottle of juice from her hand and took a long sip, and the conversation remained forgotten.

—

"I LOVE THIS place," Camille sighed, flopping onto my new sofa, regarding my open kitchen and shelves we'd propped up. My bedroom remained a mess, but I was saving that for tonight, which was probably an idea I'd regret. "Can I move in with you?"

"No," I snorted. "If you wanted to live with me you should have told me ages before."

"Fine." She pouted. "I'm sure a dorm will suffice for a few months."

"So, Miss Tsang, are there any good restaurants nearby? There's no way in hell I'm cooking tonight."

"There's plenty, actually. You know, Redchester has a mini Chinatown? It's not really a Chinatown, but it's like a street that's fifty percent Chinese restaurants and Chinese supermarkets. It's awesome. Fifteen minute walk from here."

"I don't feel like eating Chinese," I mused. "I've just gotten here from home."

"Fair enough," she shrugged. "There's a nice American style diner like, two streets away. I saw it when I came. Want to try that?"

"Sounds good." I glanced at the clock. It was four now, and we'd fully moved in.

"Why don't we invite Orion?"

I frowned. "Do you even know him?"

"Uh, yeah? We were both in the orchestra back at school. Like we weren't close or anything, but I'd consider me and him friends."

"I mean..."

She got up from the sofa, springing to her feet. "I'll go ask him. Love you, Salome, but honestly, I would not mind having dinner with him. He is hot, you know that right?"

A bit too well. I rolled my eyes. "What, are you just going to stare at him the entire dinner?" I didn't feel any jealousy, because I knew she was kidding. Camille definitely found him attractive, but I could tell she didn't have any actual interest in him. But the idea of having dinner with him...

Though, this did ensure there was at least Camille to act as buffer. I might as well get this over with now, before our parents start pressuring us, after which we might not have anyone to act as the third person.

"Ask him, then."

"Come with me."

"You're the one who wants to invite him!"

"It'll be weird if you don't come with me! Come on!"

And thus I was half-dragged over to Orion's apartment, where Camille slammed her knuckles onto the door so loudly it made me wince. A moment later the door swung open and Orion glanced out, amused.

"Oh, hello Camille. Salome. What's up?"

Camille offered a cheerful grin. "Salome and I were talking about getting dinner out tonight. We're thinking that diner down the road? Is that any good? Have you tried it before?"

"I know which one you're talking about. Their burgers are delicious."

"Want to come with us later?" Camille asked, tilting her head. Camille was small, far smaller than I was, and in front of Orion she looked absolutely tiny. It was almost comedic, if it wasn't for the fact it was Orion and she was inviting him to have dinner with us.

He blinked, gaze flickering over to me for a second. I nodded, and he turned back to Camille. "I don't mind. I can probably ask Dean to come if that's alright with you two."

"Dean? Oh! Dean Hui! Does he study at Redchester? I completely forgot, of course he does! He has it on his Instagram bio!" Camille smacked her forehead with her hand, letting out a laugh. "Yeah, of course! I remember him."

"I don't mind," I added so I wouldn't seem like I was being impolite.

"Sounds good, then." He grabbed his phone from the table next to the door. "I'll text him now."

"Text us when and if he's coming," I said, yanking at Camille's hand. "Let's head back, Cami. I still feel like we should unpack some of the stuff in my room or I'll be up until two this evening."

Camille pulled a face. "But it'll take so long." But she followed me back to the other side of the corridor, giving Orion a quick wave.

"That's exactly why we have to deal with it now," I sighed, as if it wasn't just an excuse to stop standing there and talking to him, or watching Camille talk to him.

Fuck. How many times in the past fifteen years had I spent my time watching him talk to someone, too scared to approach him myself? Wishing I was that person but knowing I could never be? Too many to count.

Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic. Cowardly Salome.

But also realistic.

I knew what weight I held in his head. And I dared not overstep. There was a fragile line between me and him, one that I could never cross.

I couldn't lose him.

But now it seems like it's the only choice I have.

so much fucking pining salome like damn girl
(also stan cami!!!!!!!)