I had already found that it was not good to be alone, and so made companionship with what there was around me, sometimes with the universe and sometimes with my own insignificant self; but my books were always my friends, let fail all else.
-Joshua Slocum

Travis was too much of a coward to do anything to Asher, and tried to run away once he realized the knife wasn't doing shit to our mental states.

The police came in -one thing my family hates about is when shit hits the fan I'm either a complete angry train wreck or simply unaffected and continue on with my life, but before either of these responses kick in I go through a period of being simply unresponsive and lack of emotion.

It worries a lot of people.

See, I can tell that as Asher clutches me to his chest like a little kid's favorite teddy bear he's a nervous wreck and for some reason doesn't like the police at all. But I just can't process it or care -I'm gone to the world.

"Ms. Wolf, are you hurt anywhere except the burns?" A medic asks me, as they arrived with the police. I frown at him, opening my mouth only to close it again.

"No, she's not. Those are it." Asher answers for me, confused by my lack of answer but rolling with it anyway. 

"Well, it appears as if you're both okay. But I'd like to get you both to the hospital anyway, to have just a day of observation so no problems arrive unexpected."

"Elle. Elle! Where's my daughter?" A deep voice cuts through the air with a equally as deep angry growl. "Where?"

My head whips up from where I've pressed my whole body into Asher's side, searching for my dad only to find him towering over a terrified officer. My mom pulls on his arm, but quickly realizes that's not going to do anything and forces her way between the two males.

But my dad being my dad he simply grabs her hips and lifts her in the air so he can walk and intimidate as he pleases, blue eyes glaring all around.

"S-she's right over there." The officer says, pointing a shaky hand at me.

Dad's head snaps straight to me, his whole demeanor changing when he rushes to me with Mom still lifted in the air, albeit struggling to get back on the ground. "Baby wolf!" My mom wraps her arms around me, ripping me from the nice guys hold. "W-we were so worried!"

I just stare at her, not able to get any words -any feelings, out.

Her grey eyes analyze me, tears building up in them as she observes my cigarette burnt shirtless form, how I stand almost too straight and the blank look in my eye must give her all the answers she needed.

"I am so sorry Elle, this shouldn't have happened. Not again." Mom says, holding onto my shoulders loosely.

Apparently, for some odd reason, that's exactly how I need to feel as a sob chokes me and I fall into my mom. Dad holds us both up, pulling us into his chest as I break down bawling right along side my Mom. Eventually my dad kneels, so all our heads are around the same height.

A tear slips down his skin, it being only a little darker than mine, it stains it making another sob leaves my mouth.

The last time I remember my dad crying was when...well, when this happened.

"Was Asher hurt?" Mom asks, pulling away from me and my dad -which only makes the giant guy hold me even closer as she quickly makes her way to the golden boy. "Where you hurt? Please don't tell me that horrible man -oh my god! He's still here? Why haven't they taken him down to the station yet?"

I'm pretty sure me and my dad tensed at the same time, but his growl overshot my own by far.

Before I can start crying again or talk, I'm already deposited onto Asher's lap and my dad is storming off like hell just broke open and he has to go fix his throne with my mom gasping and running after him.

She always warned me about Dad's anger, to stop him if something like this happened because when he's this mad, at someone that deserves it, he could honestly kill them with his punches.

With a guy as strong as my dad or Asher or even Lincoln, they need to be careful.

And one thing to know about my dad- -the Devil- -is that he is not careful.

"Liza please talk to me I'm still really freaking out and-" 

I smash my lips onto his, looping my arms around his neck as I get comfortable on his lap. I need to know I'm safe, I need to know he's safe, I need to know that we're alive, we're safe and I always seem to be safe when we're kissing like this.

His hands stay on the outside of my thighs, gripping me like his life depends on it while he kisses me back.

Reality sets in again, as the salty tears from both me and the golden boy crying stains our kiss.

"I'm so sorry...if I had just fought back faster-" Asher murmurs against my lips. "-then none of this would have happened."

"Just shut up." I growl, scolding him, though we keep kissing. "I don't like you upset like this...none of this...is your fault." Pulling away from him I cup his cheeks, noticing the stubble across them as I meet mint green eyes. "It's not your fault."

Looking skeptical Asher almost protests before he shakes his head and pulls me closer so we can kiss again. "Thanks."

This is a absurd time to thank someone, so I find myself giggling -hiding the small flares of pain in my stomach. "What for?"

"Being there for me. For h-helping me. But, but ever t-time I'll look at you now..." I suck in a harsh breath as Asher moves me off his lap, setting me on the ambulance as he moves to stand in front of me. "I'll only think of, think of what happened to you. A-and it's burns. I can't do burns. I can't with the fire, and the violence, and the burns, and the not caring. I can't anymore Eliza. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"S-sorry? I don't understand I-" A sharp gasp comes from me as pain errupts on my waist from moving so much. I ignore it. "Are you breaking up with me?"

Tears wield in Asher's eyes, and with a small nod the first one drops.

"...oh. Oh." I look away from the golden boy, down to my lap as a frown over takes my features.

I was wrong.

So wrong.

Rejection, that feeling I got wasn't heartbreak. I felt bad for myself then-

This is heartbreak.

"I-I told you shit like this could happen. I told you that I'd be in and out of the hospital my whole life. I told you I'm fucked up. I told you, you said you'd be okay b-because we'd be together. You said...you said you loved me." My small speech ends with a whisper as I feel my heart beat faster and faster as a pain goes through my chest.

I too hot.

I hate heat.

Okay Eliza, in, out, in, out. Breathe, breathe. Just breathe. That's how you survived. Just breathe. Nothing can be that bad if you just breathe. Just breathe. If you're breathing so calm, nothing bad can be happening. So just breathe, breathe.

"I need to go." I say, body tensing as I try to get down from the ambulance only for a paramedic to stop me, a very male paramedic with a tight hand only my waist.

Instantly fall away from his hands, trying to get past all the people who are suddenly crowding me. It's the police, the paramedics who are trying to get to me.

But I keep shoving them away, rushing over to where I see my dad's tall figure just barely being held back from breaking into a police car by my mom.

"Xavier focus. Focus! Our daughter needs us, she needs us. The police will take care of him, he's barely conscious as it is." Mom please with Dad, and I know exactly who it's about. "Xavier we need to -Elle!"

They both spin to face me, while I'm still staring at the tinted surface of the cop car like a deer caught in a headlight.

"Baby-wolf...you should be in a ambulance. Oh Eliza," Mom sighs sadly, holding my head gently in her hands. "What hurts."

Instead of answering I just pull her into a hug and start crying into her shoulder. "Everything."

"Where's your boy?" Dad asks, his voice still a deep growl.

"I-I want to go home." I say, not able to get the words out. "Take me home. I want to go home. I'm okay, really, I'm okay. Just a few burns. P-please Dad," Pleading is what seems to work. "Take me home."

His stoic features crack and my dad ends up wrapping himself around both me and Mom, growling as a paramedic tries to stop him from leading us to the car.

We get in, driving away with Gold already long gone.

"Am I a good person?"

A day later I ask my dad's little sister, my Aunt Olivia this. We're doing an exercise. I'm asking questions, and I'm not aloud to fight against her answers.

Not being able to go back to school quite yet, not being able to be around a much too over protective Dad and my worrisome Mom, I snuck off to Aunt Ollie's for a week.

I never went to the hospital.

My parents know I'm safe, I told Xander to tell them I was somewhere safe with someone they trust. And to tell them about what happened with me and Asher. They're smart enough to figure out where I am, they just also know not to come searching when I don't want to be found.

Aunt Ollie leaves nearly two hours away from me, near my great-grandparents farm -I plan on paying them a quick visit before heading home. On the way back I'm going to see my Nana and Papa, my grandparents, Macy and Jack.

She's wise for only being in her late thirties, and always manages to help me when I need it.

"Yes. It can be hard to tell sometimes, but in the end it's there -the good in you. You care about so much sometimes I'm afraid you'll just burst with love a fear...which isn't always a good thing." She answers, and it's a good one but my frown stays in place.

"Am I enough?"

"You're more than enough. One Day promise people will see that. And that includes yourself, Elle."

"I'm...I'm always alone. I find people, but they always leave me. Is that my fault?"

"No. It wasn't anything you did, you treat people you love well. Even if your humor is twisted it shows how gentle you are. I think whoever you're worried about left because they couldn't handle you and everything you entail. It's a lot to take on. To the right person, it will be worth it, even if it takes them a while to realize it."

"Did I deserve it? What happened to me I mean, and how he left. Do I deserve this amount of pain?" I pause, eyes cast down. "I feel like I do."

"No." I swear heartbreak lines her bright blue eyes. "You didn't. I promise. How could anyone ever deserve that?"

"People can deserve a lot. This wouldn't happened to a innocent person." I reason. "I'm not a good person." At this my aunt sends me a sharp look, but motions for me to continue. "Am I weak?"

"Sometimes. Don't hold it against yourself, everyone can be weak sometimes. But you're strong Elle, very strong. And capable. And awesome. You don't stay down for long, and even then it's hard to get you down in the first place." Hesitation runs through her. "...I haven't seen you this bad in a while."

"Let me guess," I lean back, no smirk or smug face on, just sad eyes and a clenched jaw. "It's been what, around five years?"

Every breath hurts, my eyes sting from how much I've been crying. I've having a really hard time controlling my outbursts and trying to relax when I feel over stimulated.

Today is one of my last days here.

I've been trying to figure out why Asher thought that was a good time to break up, or if he'd been wanting to and this was just a mind opening moment.

This hurts.

But I'm not bleeding, so nothing can be that bad.

Just breathe Eliza, just breathe. All you need to do is breathe.

And everything will be alright.