Chapter Five
He's like a book cover that grabs your gaze, who says: Read me. I'm fun and smart. And you won't be able to put me down.
-Laini Taylor
"Did you bring us here to kill me?" Gold asks, licking his lips as he scans the path in the woods it takes to get to Heaven.
Dad bought this land a while back, and though we didn't add as much as a fence we just want to be able to claim it.
"Obviously."
"I can't tell whether you're being sarcastic or not." He mutters quietly.
"Guess you'll find out." I reply -which is obviously what he didn't want to hear.
I wince, regretting this since he's obviously still not okay.
Asher's arms are raised in what look like a lazy way behind his head, but in reality I know that he's actually clutching a ice pack to the back of his neck.
I wouldn't be surprised if his hands are numb.
"No I'm not gonna kill you, calm your raging man tits." I snort, pretending to be unaffected only to squeak in surprise as one freezing cold, colder then his normal ice, hand is now cupping my cheek.
With a eye roll I cover his massive hand with my smaller one, grumbling slightly about large he is I shiver as the nice guy sucks the heat right off my burning skin.
"Jeez Gold, I'm on fire compared -compared to..." I know I shock Asher as I flinch with a sudden stammer.
I hate heat.
I hate heat.
I hate heat.
It's the only thing I can hear.
"Blue, are you okay?" He asks softly, mint green eyes flashing.
"Yeah." I scoff. "But maybe you shouldn't touch me until you're okay. You obviously need to stay cold, and as much as I love your touch," This is said with a quick, halfhearted wink. "We both know I'm too hot for you."
Asher nods, looking away from me. I quickly pass him and begin leading the golden boy to Heaven once again.
It takes less then three minutes to walk from where I parked my bike to the water but it's enough time to let Gold get lost in his thoughts.
And purely because of his blank face I know these aren't good thoughts.
"Dude." I scoff, glancing up at him while I pretend to be offended. "I can't believe you're spacing out on me right now."
This makes his head snap to me, and for his eyes to dilate back to his surroundings. I shrug as if I didn't do anything when he opens his mouth to thank me, and just brush past him.
I trudge up the cliff, noticing soon after that Asher is no longer behind me, but paused near the middle. "What's wrong?" I ask, leaning over the edge to look at him.
"Are you sure this is safe?" He asks with a gulp.
"I mean, I've come up here since I was a baby so...I think so?"
"This isn't the type of question you should answer with a question." He replies, looking hesitant.
"Yes it's safe. Get up here." I snap.
So he does.
Three hours later, around midnight, we are in the cave surrounded by blankets and I have a book on my lap. He sits next to me, not close enough to touch but close enough I can feel my heat being sucked away.
Damn his ice.
At least I'm not boiling alive.
"Do you believe in true love?" Asher asks randomly, I force my eyes to stay on the book I haven't been reading for a while now.
He's sitting too close, but I'm still flipping the pages.
"Oh, you mean like the kind you have for me?" I ask, glancing his way to see the soft smile he usually has pulled into a small frown.
"Be real, please."
"Grumpy as per usual," I quip. "I think me having hope for true love is the most elaborate method of self-harm anyone has ever seen."
My answer leaves him stunned, and as much as I know he'll ask I'll never tell him it's because being this close hurts for all the wrong reasons.
That him never loving me, hurts.
"Are you afraid of being in love?" This time my head snaps up, and I bite my lip as I see the intense way he's staring at me.
How long has he been staring -long enough to see my heart break?
"I told you," I say, softly and honestly. "I'm afraid of everything."
But being the only one to fall is the biggest one.
"What specifically, if you had to pick something." Gold asks softly. "I'm claustrophobic, I have pyrophobia and aichmophobia."
"Uh...I know that first one is fear of close spaces, the second one is fear of fire but you lost me at the last." I admit sheepishly, closing my book to look at him.
Like always he's not looking at me, just gazing up at the ceiling -soon I copy him position which inevitably sets me closer to him.
If we both turned our heads a little to fast towards each other, we'd kiss.
"Fear of needles."
"Oh."
We grow silent again, and this time I have unbearable questions weighing my mind down and they're all about what makes him so afraid.
Why did he have a panic attack?
Why can't he stay warm?
Why does he flinch at the sight of flames?
Why is he afraid of needles?
Is there a reason he's claustrophobic?
Is there anything I can do to help?
Is this why he lives alone?
Does he has bad dreams too?
And I know, I know if I keep questioning things eventually I'd ask them out loud and he's not about to tell me and I don't want to be that person.
Curiosity.
Tsk.
So I break the silence with a smirk, turning to him in hopes that maybe he'd turn towards me...just a little too fast. "What's with all the love questions Gold, something you wanna say?"
"No." He shakes his head, not even fazed by my flirting anymore. Shame. "It's just -you've mentioned before how you don't have any friends before me and Link."
"I never said Weasley was my friend." I say, rolling my eyes.
He, of course, ignores this.
"So I was wondering if you've ever had someone who wasn't a friend before. I can't imagine being alone like that for eighteen years, not having anyone outside your family you can talk to. It would drive me insane." Asher says, turning to me. He catches his breath, realizing how close we are, while I simply grin and wink.
"Well obviously, I am insane." I point out, and as expected he chuckles but brushes the comment off with the small shake of a head. "But that's in a good way." This time he agrees with me, taking a deep breath before stilling slightly.
"Is that smell you?" Asher breathes.
I jerk to the side, sitting up by the force of a hand as I look back down to him. "What?" Sniffing my hair gives me nothing but the smell of rain -which is what Heaven smells like. "What smell?"
His large hand clamps around my wrist, making me look back up to him. "Come here."
But Gold doesn't let me 'come here' he physically pulls me into his side like I weight nothing.
Strength.
Tsk.
My entire body is frozen as Asher cups the back of my neck with his other hand and slots his face into the crook of my neck. He takes a deep breath, pulls away slightly, shakes his head, then takes another.
The golden boy, my fucking crush, hums as if now satisfied in some sort of weird sniffing way.
"Lemons." He whispers. "You smell like lemons. I love lemons."
"I smell, smell like lemons?" I stammer, leaning into him.
He chuckles slightly, stealing all my heat due to his ice. "Yeah."
I find this all very, oh so very weird, because the only time I really interact with lemons is when I'm baking lemon cake, or cookies- -and I don't know how I missed him liking lemons so much- -and my soap and all that jazz isn't supposed to be scented.
Maybe my mom used a different detergent...then again I am in a previously soaked swimsuit.
"Got any more questions?" I ask.
"Do you think everyone should marry who they fall in love with for the first time, because people say all the time that first love's never leave...just sort of fade." He blurts.
"Based on statistics alone I'd say no, added to the fact that people fall out of love all of the time is a thing too. Plus I believe that people shouldn't love only one person for their entire life, they need to fall in and out of love, explore and discover what they want and need, make sure they know how to treat someone and be treated right before they settle down with any one person."
I squint at the ceiling, trying to really put my thoughts into words, and am surprised at how well I could articulate them.
"And I have known people who have been together since high school, like my parents, and are still together in their late thirties. But I don't know the chances of that happening with me, and if it does awesome but if it doesn't I can move on and be happy again. I guess, anyway...love doesn't end the rest of love forever it just makes it a little hard for people to heal after it's gone."
"That's very...insightful." He winces, and I feel like maybe I said the wrong thing.
"Well, it's just an opinion." I smirk, knocking slightly on the crown of his skull. "Don't let it go to your head."
"I won't."
It's silent for a good minute, but it's nothing uncomfortable.
"What was, what was a happy moment for you?" He asks, I don't think- -because of how tired he is- -that Asher realizes that he's pressing himself over half of my body, which I definitely don't mind. "Like a moment you didn't know you were happy, but that was still really happy."
"What a odd question." I giggle, ruffling his hair like a little kid.
Why is this shit so soft?
"Gotta odd answer?" I let out a soft 'mhm' even though I don't have one yet. "A odd answer it is then."
"I was depressed for a while, nothing too big so don't get your panties in a twist about it, but I think I realized I was happy for the first time one day when I got up and decided to make cookies. And I was in the kitchen, singing along to one of my playlists that really only I think is amazing -it was dope. My mom and Dad were in the living room. Then my song fades out and all I hear is, 'She's singing again.' and sniffing. Mom was crying but I started smiling."
I shrug, now playing with the tawny golden hair at the nape of his neck.
"That's, that's actually a pretty nice story." He murmurs.
I'm about to respond when I realize one thing -he's asleep.
What a douche, falling asleep on me.
Sleeping.
Tsk.
I was never good at that.
And because this was for Asher, I don't care that I don't have my medicine with me.
Even if I will be a wreck tomorrow.
Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: AzTruyen.Top