Dear Diary,

I just got you today, so I don't have a name for your yet. I think I'll just call you diary for now, or, wait, or friend! Yes! Because your my first friend. You can't hit me or curse me or hate me. You just listen to my problems and deal with them. Yes, I think friend will do finely.

I also think I need to tell you what has happened in the previous 15 years of my life. Its kinda important, and besides, you wouldn't get the full picture if I just started writing about today, so. Here it is.

My mother and father, who were and are farmers, had just had their tenth child and were very happy when they suddenly found out about me. They didn't know my mom was pregnant, and my father REALLY didn't want me. He wanted an even amount of kids, just like every other farmer in our country of Arkando. So, they decided, again just like many other farmer moms, to abort me. Yeah.

Except when they asked the doctors to do 'it', they said that so many other moms had recently aborted their 'extra' child, that there was no more abortion medecine left. My father was beyond furious. He amost did some things to my mom that would result in a miscarridge, but thankfully, (I guess), some of the townsmen took my father from his house and kept him away from mom while she was pregnant with me.

One month after I was born he was allowed back to his house. He never once held me. He completly ignored me and my mother while she was caring for me. He refused to even sleep in the same room as my mom. He hated me so much.

When I was almost four, my mom died. No one told me how she died, I was just told I would never see her again and that was that. Of course I didn't understand. But my father did. He immediatly put me to work, teaching me how to peel potatoes, wash dishes, dry washed dishes, sweep, clean my room, which was actually the attic, since my father only had built enough bedrooms for the ten children he wanted, and other things like that. He never looked me in the eye, never said a single positive thing about me, and told my siblings to do the same.

At first Iris and Cyprus (my father named all his children after his favorite and most beautiful plants) would talk to me. We would throw the ball around while father wasn't looking, but that soon stopped when I was six. They, all my siblings, began trying to win my fathers favor. Oh, before I go on, here's a list of my siblings:

Thyme - 1st child - boy (but we call him Ty)
Rose - 2nd child - girl
Iris - 3rd child - girl
Red - 4th - boy
Axel - 5th child - boy
Cyprus - 6th child - girl
Willow - 7th child - girl
Tulip - 8th child - girl
Cedro - 9th child - boy
Coral - 10th child - girl

And me. I'll say my name later. Let's just say that, for now, my father convienently ran out of exotic plant names when I came along.

I'm so glad you can't talk and tell me I'm believing a lie like so many other people have.

My hand is cramping, and my kerosine is running out, so I'll have to hurry this up. I'll just skim some things about my everyday life and today.

I wake up at 4 am and make breakfast for my family. They come out and eat at 4:45, which by then I'm in the barn, feeding the animals and cleaning the tack. 5:30am rolls around, and I walk five miles to school. My siblings go to a different school.

By the time I get there, I'm a filthy mess from the dust on the road, a fact that has been used against me too many times. Its a one room schoolhouse, the only one in the town, but it was also the cheepest, so while I was learning what I needed to know, my father wasn't paying much for it.

Usually at lunch time I go find a secluded area, a different place every time, and inhale my lunch. If I don't eat it quickly enough, which has occured a few times, the bullies will eat it for me. They're my biggest problem. Butch, Mike, Talia, and Ted. They seem to hate me even more than my dad sometimes. Butch is their leader, and he's been really awful to me the last few years. For the first few months not a day would go by when I wasn't coming home crying. That boy is truly evil (don't tell pa I said that; he would tan my hide)

But my kerosine is almost gone, and I so exhausted I'm about to drop it and light my room on fire, so I'm going to finish this is with what happened today.

I was in class, just sitting where I normaly do, in the fifth row of six, stuyding my math paper, when the teacher leaves the room for just a moment. As soon as she left I knew Butch, who had just moved behind me, was about to do something. I didn't turn around in time before a bucket of dirt was dumped down my dress. My eyes widened, and I was going to scream, when Mrs. Starnton came back in. I froze, and glaced at the clock. There was fifteen minutes until class ended. It was one of the worst fifteen minutes of my life. I could feel the bugs crawling around, on and in my shifts.

As soon as class was over, I hid my books and took off into the woods. The only thing in my favor in my life is that I'm pretty fast. I raced deep into the woods, stopping just in front of a large boulder. I stood still, listening. Thank God they weren't chasing me - yet.

I went on the far side of the boulder and took my dress off shaking it, then did the same to my shifts. By now I heard them coming. I've never been so terrified. With hands shaking horribly, I pulled my clothes on and stood as Butch and Talia came on the right side, and Mike and Ted the left. I stayed still, staring at the rock. They just stared at me, covering every inch of, just, me, staring so hard, it was like they were reading my soul. I knew this game though. If I moved, even a fraction of an inch, they would start bullying me. I still had the scars from the last time they did that. I really didn't want it to happen again.

Thankfully, five minutes leter, they quietly left, and I stood there for five more minutes, making sure they were gone, before I started heading back. I grabbed my books and headed home, a filthy mess, but of more impact, mentally drained. Again. And I still had five hours of chores to do.

So that was my day. Pretty average, sadly. I have to say two more things though.

One is I'm keeping a secret. I stopped at a church a while ago on my home from school. After going there a few times, I became a Christian. I've been a Christian for a month or so right now. My father dosent know though, and he never can. My family are extreme athiests. They dont believe in any god. I think my father would actually behead me if he found out.

Also, my name. You must not laugh. My father hated me when I wasborn. His family is the only one in a state of one and a quarter milion people. My familys' is the only family with more than ten children. Its a cause for much ridicule. Anyway, he named me. He wanted to name me The Unnwanted, The Useless, and The Nightmare. So, since my mother refused to name me any of them, he named me,

Unusedmare. That's my full name, but everyone calls me Mare or Nightmare. My kerosine is gone; I cant see what I'm writing. I have to go. I'm thanking God for giving me this diary. Now I finally have some 'one' to talk to.

Whew, first chapter in an awesome new book I'm writing! I'm really excited about this, but I think there will be really slow updates, so just a warning. Also, this is a special chapter; their not all going to be her writing in her diary.
What did you think? Do you think this is going to be a good book? I hope it will be :D
K, catcha next time friends! Thanks for voting and commenting! Bye!!

~Me