بےنام رشتا وہ ,بیچین کرتا جو
ہو نہ سکے جو بیاں
کچھ تو تھا تیرے میرے درمیان

Benaam rishta woh, bechain karta jo
Ho na sake jo byaan
Kuch to tha tere mere darmiyaan

***

Saman's sleep broke when she felt soft caresses on her head. The familiarity and warmth of the touch made her smile. It felt like a dream and so to confirm the reality she opened eyes.

"Papa?"

"Mera bacha." Saman couldn't believe her eyes, this must be a dream. She knew this was a dream. She tried to sit, making her father get up and help her sit. She stared at him with shock. She knew her mind was conjuring this up again. She did not want to believe that this was real.

Lifting her hand slowly she held his hand, cautiously as if fearing that he might disappear. Ihsan held her shivering hand in his.

"Papa!" Saman cried.

"Papa kyu chale gaye the aap."(papa why did you leave) She spoke like a lost child who finally found home. Ihsan wrapped her arms around his daughter whom he had ruthlessly left.

"Forgive me my child, your father is cruel."

"Why did you leave Papa,  you didn't  even listen to me...I...I called you so many times. Why didn't you listen to me?" She spoke in between her sobs. Ihsan didn't stop her, he listened to her every complaint.

"Please forgive your father Saman. I was a fool." Ihsan whispered kissing her head as she cried more and more.

"I am so ashamed of what I had done that I cannot even look in your eyes. I have wronged you my child, I had promised your mothers that whatever happens I will always keep any harm away from you Saman, yet I couldn't save you from my own foolishness. I am so sorry Saman, I am so sorry I don't know what had taken over me. Please forgive your father." Ihsan spoke lowering his head, his voice trembled as he spoke while Saman herself couldn't stop crying.

"Papa...please." She whispered holding his hand in her trembling ones. "Never leave me again like this,that's all I want."

____________

The night had spread its wings long ago yet sleep or calm did not bestow upon Armaan Shah. It was the same for the last few days. He would try to tame the havoc in his mind, and fail...he would try to think properly and fail. He would build courage to go infront of Saman and fail badly.

Armaan might be detached with every other thing around him but not Saman. Even if his whole self was consumed in regret, guilt and he was on the verge of losing his sanity. He was around her during her stay at the hospital, he was around her when she was brought back. He had watched, observed and taken care of her but from a distance.

He thought he did not deserve to be near her, but he had to. He needed to apologize, he needed to tell her that whatever nonsense he had spewed that night was not true. He had to tell her that he was furious over those people who demeaned her, and not on her. Never her.

Armaan had tried multiple times to face her, yet he couldn't find the right time. This was his problem,from always. Searching for the perfect timing he would always lose what was perfect at the moment. He might be a calm and calculative person but he was yet to learn of the way time worked, how time waits for none.

Finally he had decided to do what had to be done. He had asked  Ahad to talk with Saman and help him. But the problem was that, a week had already passed…yet there was no news from the other side.

"Ahad can you please hurry?" He pleaded. Ahad sighed from the other side of the phone.

"Bhai, not now. She's gone to sleep. Maybe tomorrow."

"But Ahad-" Armaan stopped.

"Can you please ask her to meet me after fajr tomorrow?" He asked hopefully. Ahad was silent for a while, as if contemplating.

"I will try."

Armaan disconnected the phone. Try. He hoped Ahad's another try would be successful.

_________

"Now what?" Ahad asked in a tired voice and watched as Saman played with the tassels in her dress.

"I...I don't know." She whispered. Ahad pinched his eyes close in frustration. He was stuck between these two so badly. Both of them equally stubborn, ignorant and equally stupid.

"Saman, listen to him first okay. Then we can conclude everything."

"What is there to conclude Ahad, I remember his words. He thinks so low of me." Saman was still not meeting his eyes and by the heaviness in her words, Ahad knew she was controlling her tears. He stared at her for a moment or two and sighed.

"Everything is up to you at the end but if you take my suggestion, let the man explain, okay?By whatever you have told me I think, there is some misunderstanding and need of a proper conversation." Ahad spoke calmly.

How could he make these two realise that they were walking towards each other, that they were now just a step away from reaching each other. Just a step, just a stand against their egos and the two would be with each other.

"Let me think." Saman spoke after a pregnant pause.

"Very well, whatever you decide inform me immediately. Okay?" Saman nodded in agreement. Getting up from his seat, Ahad gently patted Saman's head and walked out.

Ahad moved his shoulders trying to release the cramp in them as he walked towards his room. Exhaustion was taking good control on him, long days and restless nights were hindering his functioning. He wanted to remove this feeling yet he did not know how.

Closing the door behind him he threw his coat on the couch and fished his phone out. Dialing a familiar number he pressed his phone in between his ear and shoulder and walked towards his cupboard.

"Hello Ahad? Everything fine?" He heard a panicked yet groggy voice  from the other side and a small smile appeared on his face.  

"Hmm, what are you doing?" He asked taking out his wrist watch.

"You scared me." She sighed in relief."It's almost midnight so I am playing tennis with jinns." He heard her sarcastic reply and grinned. Keeping his watch on the dresser he held his phone correctly.

"Who's winning?" He asked playing along.

"Who do you think will win?" She asked, he could sense a hint of smile.

"Jinns ofcourse." He spoke leaning against the dresser.

"Do you think I will let anyone win against me, be it human or jinns?" She asked. He shook his head as if she was infront of him.

"Nope, Ms Nadia can never lose." He spoke. She did not lose, he knew that. She would make sure that her efforts paid and even if by any chance it didn't, she would make sure to turn it in her favor. This time too...she wasn't losing. Him? He was losing badly. And he had never thought losing felt this beautiful.

"Good you know the universal fact. Now if you allow me to, can I sleep?"

"What if I say I don't allow it?"

"When have I heard you?" She giggled, making a small laugh escape his lips too.

"Go, sleep." He spoke in a whisper. He couldn't even believe his ears, the way he had spoken these words felt so alien and so tender. Maybe Nadia had sensed this too as ahe went mute for a brief moment.

"Okay Allah hafiz." With that she disconnected the call making him look at the blank screen. Rotating in his spot he kept his phone on the dresser and raised his gaze only to get  stunned. There was a different kind of smile on his face, a different glint in his orbs and his heart too followed a very strange yet familiar rhythm.

It felt comfortable, safe and peaceful.

__________

"Are you sure?" Ahad asked again. He was skeptical, and the serene look on Saman's face was scaring him to say the least. She looked too calm, in contrast to the other days. She was furious on Armaan yet now she looked as calm as the wind on a beautiful day.

"I'll call him." He said giving her a moment to consider it again. She just nodded. God help Armaan.

"It's colder today."

Saman watched him without giving any expression. She was amused and irritated at the same time. She hadn't called him for a weather report.

"I think-"

"I think you should speak whatever you had to say." Saman deadpanned.

Armaan blinked twice trying to gather her words.

"I am sorry Saman. I know only sorry is of no use but I feel deeply apologetic for the stupidity I had done." Armaan spoke looking at her. She watched him, not uttering anything. Armaan took it as a cue to continue.

"I was furious after hearing those people say such vile things to you, knowing that it wasn't your fault and also they had no right to prode into our family matter. But I couldn't react as calmly as I should have." He spoke looking down.

"I wouldn't say I took out their anger on you. I was angry at you too, that you did not stand up for yourself. I could see the way you were blaming yourself in your mind. But then even if I was angry I shouldn't have shouted on you. You too were right on your place that it was not worth to fight them. I had no right-"

"Yes you don't." Saman's intersection made his head snap up towards her. Her eyes were burning, the intensity so strong that it could burn everything around. Leaving it in ashes.

"You don't have any right to say anything to me let alone shout and yell and blame me. You remember what you had said? That I like getting sympathy and acting like a damsel in distress. Listen very carefully Armaan Shah. I hate sympathy and all of you had been giving me exactly that."

Saman had a bite to her tone. She scoffed and folded her arms.

"Looking at me with pity and remorse, a girl whose own father disregarded her like a trash. It did not matter to me what the outsiders said. But you, you made sure I know that even my own people think the same." She said pointing her finger at him.

"Saman that's not true." He reasoned.

"Oh really?"

"Yes. Saman ask yourself that we, your own family, will ever think that way? The same family that dotes on you cherishes you so much. Do you think any of them will think such things?" Armaan asked trying to level his voice. Saman looked away.

"But you did!" She spoke in a hushed tone.

"And I am sorry for that! I never thought that way but I do not know why that night I spoke such things." Armaan spoke with exasperation. Saman still did not look at him.

"I have hurt you badly.I shouldn't have crossed the line, as you said that I have no right to do so. But since I did, I am really apologetic. I highly respected you before and will do so. And I will try not to cross any more limits. Just know that I am sorry and I hope you forgive me." Armaan completed and after glancing at her for a brief moment he walked away.

He deserved this, he deserved her harsh side after what he had done, yet it did not hurt any less. It still felt like a boulder was kept on his chest, constricting him.

Armaan adored her, cherished everything about her. The way she used to smile at smallest things, the way she would bring her light everywhere she went and seeing her going in darkness had pained him. He did not want her to lose herself and he hated that instead of lessening her pain, he increased it.

He had always seen her walk away and wished to stop her, hold her close even it felt forbidden. But for the first time he wished to walk away from her, to not hurt her anymore.

_____

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