Why was she burning? Why didn't the water work its way? Saman felt herself burning, more and more with each passing moment. She had been standing under the ice cold water for too long yet it did not calm the flames.

She had lost the count of time way earlier but she hadn't realized that it had been an hour. She had spent an hour under the icy water. Peeling her eyes away from the wall clock Saman roughly rubbed her wet hair with the towel and threw it away. Without wasting any more time she switched off every light in the room and slipped under the blanket.

Closing her eyes she tried to shut the recklessly running thoughts in her head. She needed an escape, Saman could not take any more pain.

Soon, her heavy eyes closed and her breathing evened out. Saman slept in the darkness with the cold surrounding her like a blanket. Saman slept unconsciously, unaware of the consequences of her escape.

________________

"Ahad." Nadia called slowly, making Ahad look at her and raise his brows. They all were still in the front lawn and the after party discussion was going on.

Nadia gestured him to follow her, making him nod and get up without grabbing any attention. When both of them were at good  enough distance from the rest Nadia faced him with a worried look.

"What's wrong?" Ahad asked, watching her nervously forward her phone towards him. He took the phone which displayed a message from Saman.

Can you ask Mansha to sleep with you tonight.please.

Ahad frowned reading the message. He looked up and Nadia raised her brows in worry.

"What should I do?" Nadia asked. She had sensed that Saman was quite cut off at the end of the party. She didn't want to make her uncomfortable so she didn't ask anything.

"Maybe she is upset about Ihsan chachu. I think we should give her some space. Do as she had asked to. We will see what to do tomorrow." Ahad spoke, returning Nadia's phone.

"But Ahad she was really tensed in the function.." Nadia trailed. She knew Saman needed space but she also knew how badly affected she was from the fiasco. She had seen her cry that night and she could still remember the way Saman looked devastated.

"I'm worried too, but she needs her space too. Don't worry too much, we will handle this together." He spoke softly, making Nadia nod even though she was still worried.

Ahad didn't return back to where others were. He was worried about Saman, and his worry could be easily read. Ahad had so many things in mind as he walked towards his room Ahad. It felt like everything was spiraling down to worse.

He wanted to make things better but he was failing miserably. Saman did look better but he knew how she felt inside. His family was putting up a good facade but he knew better. They all were greatly affected by whatever had happened.

The Shah family had felt this kind of blow for maybe the first time. Ihsan chachu had cut everyone out. And it felt like the pillars of this very strong gharana were getting weaker by each passing day. Dada jaan seemed worried most of the time and he had seen his uncles and father too in the same state. They all tried to sweep it under the rug. But it would take only one small blow and everything would crumble down.

Saman was getting the worst end of all this. He couldn't see her like this anymore. He wanted his troublemaker sister, his crime partner back.

In all this the only thing that was helping him to stand was Nadia's support. She had been beside him whenever he felt he was alone.

Ahad had never thought that amongst all, her being with him, by his side would help him to take the continuous blow he was receiving. Being it related to work or home, Nadia was helping him unknowingly. She was unaware of the way she was keeping him on his feet.

But Ahad was finally aware of the way his whole self felt about Nadia. That perfectionist girl who he couldn't stand once, was the one he wouldn't be able to stand without now.

______________

Armaan had been up all night, not even for a second sleep graced him. Every passing second that turned into minutes and hours, was reminding him of the pathetic  words he had uttered.

How could he lose his patience and how could he shout at her, when he knew that the only one who was innocent was her. The way her eyes had rounded at the words he had thrown at her face, the way those sparkling brown eyes held tears as he continued to insult her. And the way she could hardly speak as her tears fell down her face, Armaan remembered it all.

Regret and remorse filled his entire self.

Whatever hope he had disappeared nlw. He thought that maybe he would be able to heal her, help her and make her feel alive yet all he did was crush her more. Those ladies and their words hadn't done the harm his words had done.

It felt like there was no way this damage could be repaired.

Armaan had gathered himself up and went to the masjid even before the fajr azaan. He needed to clear his mind but when he returned back he hadn't expected to see what he was seeing.

It was still early morning yet every single person of the haveli seemed to be up and there was chaos everywhere. As if something really bad had happened. Armaan watched as Ahad ran upstairs with a tool in his hand making him more worried. He too followed Ahad and found himself standing outside Saman's room with everyone else.

Badi ammi was constantly banging on the door, shouting continuously for Saman to open the door. What had happened?

"Zeeshan what's happening?" Armaan asked.

"Saman's not opening the door." Zeeshan replied, looking at him with worried eyes. Armaan felt like he was pushed in an ice cold water. Frozen at his place he felt chills running through his entire self.

"Ammi get aside." Ahad spoke hurriedly and using the tool in his hand he broke the lock and kicked open the door. Badi ammi rushed inside followed by Ahad and Noor. The rest too followed soon but Armaan was rooted to his place.

"Saman mere bache!" Badi ammi cried seeing Saman wrapped in the blanket, it seemed like she wasn't even breathing. Her eyes were closed and her face was paler than a blank sheet. Munazza dashed towards her and held her face in her hand and tried to wake her up.

"Ahad she's cold!" She cried again. Noor moved forward and grasped Saman's hand in hers and started rubbing it. Checking her pulse she looked towards Ahad, worry etched all over her face.

"We need to take her to hospital." She spoke. Ahad nodded hazily. He walked out of the room and found Armaan standing and staring down.

"Bhai, hospital." Ahad managed to speak. The heaviness in his voice cut through Armaan's soul. He nodded not even looking up and walked away swiftly. Ahad went inside the room where his mother was crying, so were his aunts. His father looked shaken.

"Get more warm clothes and blankets, we need to keep her warm. It seems like hypothermia." Noor said.

Armaan knew not how he managed to do as Ahad had asked him and how he had driven them to the hospital. It all seemed to go by in daze. Ahad, badi ammi Noor and him had taken Saman to the hospital and even if he wanted to just look at her once, he could not.

The guilt gripping his heart had him filled with shame and remorse.  If only he had not acted like a mad man. If only instead of insulting her and hurting her he would have eased her. He couldn't bring himself to even go near her when they rushed her to the ER. He did not deserve to be near her. The only thing his presence had done to her was harm.

He stepped back more and more until his back touched the icy wall of the hallway. And then it felt like the haze was broken. He looked around as if in a stupor. Most of his family was here and they all looked worried.

"Ammi have sabr, she will be fine." Fahad spoke, trying to calm his crying mother. Ahad was mute all the time. Too shocked to even process, why and how this happened.

"Why only her?" Badi ammi cried again. Noor had gone inside along with the doctor and they were all patiently waiting for her. But only they knew what kind of turmoil each of them were going through.

"It's hypothermia. Her hair was wet so it seemed like she had taken a cold shower at night. But it shouldn't have caused this much problem, only if she had been under cold water for a long time." Noor explained as she came out of the room.

"She is under stress, and also very weak." she concluded.

"Theek ho jayegi na meri bachi?" Munazza asked.

"Ji badi ammi. We have to keep her here for a few days as the doctor has suggested and under observation for some hours. In sha Allah she will be fine. Noor replied gently, holding Munazza's hands.

__________

"Kya hua tha kal?" Anwar asked, grabbing everyone's attention. "Does anybody know what happened yesterday? What drove my child to this extent?" He was furious even if his voice was leveled. The anger, hurt and pain was so evident in his voice that nobody dared to look in his eyes.

"She was upset about...about Ihsan uncle." Ahad managed to whisper.

"He did not do well. His stubbornness had put her in this condition." Mazhar Shah spoke.

"Call him here right now. I do not want my child to be in more pain. Everyday she has been asking her father, calling him yet that person did not even listen to her once." Munazza was livid. Her red rimmed eyes were shedding tears and her voice wavered as she spoke.

"Ammi." Ahad moved towards his mother and held her by her shoulder, trying to calm her down.

"Ahad he did not do right. Have you seen her? Everyday I saw her breaking more and more. What wrong has she done?" She looked at him. Ahad did not have the strength to say anything more.

"Munazza have sabr." Anwar spoke in a low voice.

_______

It was happening again. Once again she was feeling the same suffocation...as if someone had tied her in ropes and each passing second it was getting tighter. Her breathing was getting harsh, as she tried to make her body move and break this mirage.

Her mind could decipher the various noises around her, someone was talking, something was beeping and someone just opened the door, yet she couldn't wake up. She tried one more time to move but failed. And when she felt that now she would not be able to breath her eyes shot open and she gasped loudly.

Taking rapid, deep breaths, Saman tried to calm herself. She glanced around and found someone sitting at a distance. She tried to get up but her limbs felt heavy and she was feeling cold...too cold.

"Badi ammi." She croaked in a hoarse voice and that someone, Munazza, instantly got up. She rushed towards her and Saman could finally see clearly. Her badi ammi was crying.

"Badi ammi..."

"Meri bachi!" Munazza cried, holding her face in her palm. She kissed her head and then held her hand tightly.  Saman couldn't comprehend anything.

"What happened ?" She asked in a bare whisper. Her throat hurt.

"Why did you do this, Saman! Look what you have made of yourself."

Realization crashed on Saman just like lightning. Her hazy memory could only remember those harsh words, burning sensations and then her standing under the cold water to calm herself. What had happened?

Soon badi ammi had called almost every person of her family and they all had worried etched all over their faces. Guilt gripped her heart. Noor explained to her about what had happened and Saman only wanted to curse herself for being so reckless. She had once again caused them hurt.

"I am sorry badi ammi I...I....did...didn't know this-" Saman spoke trying to control her heavy voice.

"It's our fault Saman, we couldn't help you." Munazza whispered, caressing her head.

"Take rest. We all are here."

Saman nodded slowly and closed her eyes, but not before scanning the whole room. He wasn't here, why would he? Her father might not even know what her condition was. She wanted to laugh at her  misery.

_____________

"Here, have it." Ahad saw a brown packet forward towards him and looked up. Nadia gave him a small smile and gestured towards the bag. He took it and looked inside, it was sandwiches.

"Have this and I will get you coffee then." She said sitting  beside him. He had asked everyone to return back and only him and Nadia were here and Armaan was around too. It was hard to convince his mother but after the doctor informed that Saman will be under sedatives all day and unconscious,Munazza agreed to go back.

"Did you eat?" He asked, making her nod.

"I had one in the canteen."

"I should have listened to you last night." He spoke. His voice was a mere whisper.

"You couldn't have known what would happen. It's not your fault.  You were right at your place. Saman did need space but maybe not yesterday." She replied, looking at him while he looked down.

"I...I feel so guilty." He whispered and faced her, tears escaping  his eyes.

"You shouldn't." She replied without breaking eye contact.

"Nadia...why am I such a failure? I failed Saman, I failed everyone. I...I did not want to be like this. I feel so helpless....they are in so much pain and what am I doing? Nothing!"

"Ahad no! You are nowhere near a failure. And no you aren't doing nothing. I am witness to the efforts you are making to mend things. You haven't failed anyone. Trust yourself Ahad."

Nadia knew not how to ease his turmoil. The way he was questioning and demeaning himself was paining her.

"Don't overthink Ahad. Let's pray that Saman gets well soon." She spoke  in a soft voice.  He watched her for a moment or two and then looked away.

"You should eat that, I will go get coffee for you."

"Don't, I am fine." He replied, taking a bite.

"No you are not. I will be back." She said and walked away. Ahad could just watch her go. Even if he was standing in the middle of a storm, she was standing along him with armor. Nadia was brave enough to fight her own battles as well as others. And Ahad Shah was lucky he had her with him.

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Assalamualaikum everyone.

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