***
تیری یادوں میں رہوں
تیرے خوابوں میں جگوں
مجھے ڈھونڈھے جب کوئی
تیری آنکھوں میں ملوں

Teri yadon mein rahun
Tere khwabon mein jagun
Mujhe dhundhe jab koi
Teri ankhon mein milun.

I wanna stay in your memories,
Wakeup in your dreams
And when someone searches for me
I wan to be found in your eyes.

***

I am sorry

Saman read and re-read the three words flashing on her screen for uncountble times, as if trying to make sure that it was not infact a hallucination.

She would also glance few times at the contact name:Armaan Shah. So formal, so distant.

Not understanding what he intended to say through this message, and the similar ones from before,Saman kept her phone away. The messages  and the one that sent it could go to mars for all she cared.

Draping her shawl over herself properly she made her way towards her original destination, the kitchen. Badi ammi had decided to make gajar ka halwa today along with her aunts. And she wanted to help.

"Badi ammi any work for me?" Saman asked cheerfully as she entered the kitchen making everyone of them stop and look at her with widened eyes. She raised her brows in question making them smile, together.

"Come here and grate these carrots Saman." Rameesha chachi called from where she was seated on the mat with one other house help.

"How much are these?" Saman asked with bewilderment, seeing the pile of carrots.

"10 kg."

"This much?" She asked as she washed her hands.

"Ma sha Allah se family bhi to badi hai."[Our family is also huge] Nausheen chachi replied with a hint of smile. Saman too couldn't help but smile, family...what a beautiful blessing.

"Bhabi, I will check the choolha." Rameesha spoke, getting up from her place and giving the grater to Saman.

"Choolhe par banega halwa?" Saman asked, again surprised.

"Yes, it will be better that way."

Saman nodded, even though she didn't quite understand the logic. Pulling her sleeves up she started grating the carrots and somehow it felt so satisfying to her that she felt herself getting lost. It was only when badi ammi called her loudly, she raised her head up.

"Come outside." Munazza spoke making her narrow her eyes and look around. Seems like they were taking everything outside as the sun had finally decided to come out. She too got up and took few things and followed the rest.

The back door of kitchen opened into a small area that had few mud stoves and other traditional cookwares.

A mat was spread on one side of the area where she kept the things in her hand. The sun was shining all over the ivory haveli,creating a soothing glow and spreading warmth the winter had driven out.

Sitting cross legged Saman once again indulged herself in grating the carrots, as a significant amount of it was still not done. 

She could hear various voices mingling with each other, sometimes coherent, sometimes not. Someone would laugh at something and she would too giggle even if not understanding them. She was so concentrated and lost in these blissful things that she did not realise when someone had replaced the house help sitting in front of her.

Only when she heard a cough in a manly voice did she frowned and looked up only to get the shock of the century.

Armaan Shah was sitting infront of her and smiling at her softly.

"Kya kar rahe hain aap?"[What are you doing?] She asked, still frowning.

"Wohi jo aap kar rahi hain." [Whatever you are doing.]  He replied, still smiling.

"Who told you to do that?"

"Bahut sawaal karti ho."[You ask so many questions.l He was teasing her. Her frown deepened. He shook his head and pointed towards the carrot in her hand. She gave him a challenging look and again went back to her work.

Armaan watched her for a few more moments. As if dazed and spelled. The sunlight was doing its work exceptionally, casting a halo around her,making her look even more ethereal. Her golden skin shone everytime she moved while her lashes fanned her cheeks. Armaan was sure something soothed in his heart everytime those eyes looked at him with ablaze fire.

So strange,so weird, her fire soothed him, her chaos brought him calm.

"Ghoor kyu rahe hain?"[why are you staring?] Saman spoke still looking down. Armaan looked away, embarrassed to be caught.

"Haath chalaiye jaldi, kya fayda ane ka jab koi kaam nahi karna?"[work faster, why are you wasting time?] She gave him a side eye. He pressed his lips trying to supress the chuckle.

"Just watch how I do more than you." He spoke making her look up with narrowed eyes.

"You wish!" Scoffing at him she started running her hands faster,while Armaan just shook his head.  It was nice having her as herself. Perhaps the most beautiful sight for him.

The two of them would frequently look up, Saman would check on the portions he had done while Armaan would just admire her zeal. A few times she would giggle thinking about the absurdity of the moment and a few times he would just slow down, to watch her better, to let her win. Unaware of the cold sunlight, unaware of the gleeful breeze, unaware of the curious eyes, Saman and Armaan were catched in a charm.

"Bhabi-" Nausheen whispered as she and Munazza watched the duo sitting in their own world. Munazza looked at her with a knowing smile as if confirming that something really new yet beautiful was happening.

"See I am on my last carrot!" Saman exclaimed waving the carrot excitedly. Armaan faked disappointment, yet his whole self was far from being disappointed.

"Bola tha na, dekha hara diya aapko."  [See you lost!]

"Sachme haar gaya."[ I did] Armaan's voice was breathy, while his eyes stared at her with a glint Saman couldn't fathom the meaning of.

It was when Armaan's phone rang loudly,she looked away making him do the same, as if caught in a flashlight.

"Hello Sofia?" Saman's ears perked up hearing him. The name was familiar, so she couldn't help but listen curiously.

"I'll be there, prepare what has to be and inform doctor Taha too." Armaan spoke in a calm yet, serious voice.

"Some emergency came up, I might get late." He spoke glancing at her briefly. Saman nodded, even if she wanted to ask that why was he informing her. He left, with hurried steps while she could just breath heavily, trying to calm all of her senses.

______________

Winter had started to get stronger day by day as it approached year's end. Bihar had always been among the states where every season came in all its glory. And since Alamnagar was in the northern region, close to Nepal's border the chilly wind of Himalayas would often greet the town.

Schools had declared winter holidays a few days back, so as per the tradition, the twins with Nadia were called in the haveli. Being in the same town was surely a plus point for them.

"So, how was the plan?" Ahad asked, with a proud smile and anticipating eyes. He was standing infront of the whole gang and had just finished presenting his idea for today. It was a holiday even for the ones working, so he wanted to make sure it would be fun. But, the problem was that it was extremely cold and his fellows were certainly  judging him.

"Ahad you and your stupid ideas can go jump in any pond! Have you seen outside ? Do we look like psychos? Playing badminton in this weather?" Fahad was the first person who spoke, clearly not liking the idea.

"But bhai! Playing will help us warm up, and there will be bonfire too." Ahad argued.

"What about the wind that's ready to uproot the haveli itself?" Ahad countered.

"Aeyy...we all are young and strong, it won't affect us!" Ahad shrugged smugly.

"You are idiot and certainly not strong." Fahad was irritated by the  lunacy his brother was suggesting, on the other hand the rest of them were looking back and forth at the two arguing.

"Fahad bhai!" Ahad exclaimed,surprising Fahad and others too."Maana ki aap burhe ho gaye hain par ham to nahi, khelne dena hamein!" [I know you are old now but we aren't! Let us play!]

Pin drop silence.

Fahad couldn't believe what he was listening,the same was the case with the rest. Then, what happened was what had to happen; Ahad had a fuming Fahad hot on his trail.

"Bhai sorryyy!!!" Ahad cried earning loud giggles and laughs from his peers. He felt betrayed.

"Ab ho raha hai na warm-up, just when I catch you Ahad ke bache!" [Now how's the warmup going?]

"Bhai Ahad ko chorenge tab hi to uske bache honge!" Ahad shouted,glancing over his shoulder.

"Ruka tu abhi!"[ Stop right there!] Fahad called, frustrated at the way Ahad was making him go round and round in the living room while the rest had a hard time stopping their laughs.

"Promise you won't kill me?" Ahad asked stopping at a good distance from a very exhausted Fahad.

"I won't! Now come here." Fahad sounded serious. Ahad watched him for a moment. Nevertheless, he walked towards him and as he reached Fahad's reach, his brother swiftly grabbed him by his neck even before he could blink.

"Ab kon bachayega?" [Who's going to save you?]Fahad asked dragging him towards the shocked audience. All of them had their jaws on the ground,such a sight to behold.

"Now tell me what to do with this specimen?" he asked sitting on of the couches and pulled Ahad with him,making the poor lad to fall on the ground.

"Bhai!"

"Chor de bhai, bechara bachega nahi warna." [He will die bhai,leave him]Armaan spoke supressing his smile.

"Armaan bhai bhule mat aap!"[don't forget about yourself!] Ahad warned him making Armaan raise his brows at him. What even could he do?

"No one will play badminton today okay?" Fahad spoke, the twins were the most disappointed ones.

"Ahad," Fahad faced his brooding brother who was still in his hold. Releasing him he spoke,"make arrangements for a movie night and also ask the elders too. I will order takeaways for all of you."

That was it, Ahad's head snapped towards him and he watched Fahad with wide eyes, while the twins hooted in the background.

"Sachi?" Ahad asked getting up on an instant.

"Muchi." Fahad replied getting up too, earning a thousand watt smile from Ahad. Ruffling his hair Fahad walked away.

"Thank you Ahad bhai for being the scapegoat!" Uzair screamed at the top of his voice and jumped on him followed by Umair, the three of them fell on the ground.

Idiots.

"Get up now, do the preparations!" Saman called laughing at the wrestling monkeys on the ground.

"I will go and ask the elders if they wanna join." Sara exclaimed.

"I will come with you." Mansha spoke and both of them walked out of the living room, almost bouncing in excitement.

"Armaan bhai, can you help me with the projector?" Ahad asked only to receive a very nervous look from Armaan, he sucked in electronics.

"Leave it, Nadia follow me and you two monkey get the mattresses  and adjust these couches." Ahad commanded Umair and Uzair who were still on the ground and were looking at him with boba eyes.

"Armaan bhai and Saman, on food duty." Ahad spoke in hurry and left with Nadia, the twins too followed soon. Leaving the two very awkward and nervous beings alone.

Armaan glanced at Saman from his periphery, she was looking elsewhere. He cleared his throat making her look at him, with narrowed eyes.

"I..I will..go see what...what Fahad bhai's ordering." Armaan stuttered, half of his words incoherent, half too low to be audible. Saman nodded nevertheless.

Flashback

11:23

Saman sighed after looking at the time.

What was taking him so long? He had left around two in the noon and till now, there was no sign of his return.

Nausheen chachi hadn't reacted much to her telling that Armaan had left for emergency, being used to it. And in the evening too when everyone was enjoying the gajar ka halwa nobody even questioned about him. But even then Saman had thought about him, maybe for a small moment or maybe for the whole time.

The way he had left with a frown was worrying her. What kind of emergency was it, was it related to hospital work or something else? She was,for the very first time, having a look into Armaan Shah's life. His life, his days and nights and not the sideline of her own.

"If he doesn't come in 15 minutes I am leaving." She spoke to herself, the same thing she has been repeating for every fifteen minutes. Who was she fooling, she would sit through the whole night, even if it was freezing.

"Wait!" She jumped out of her seat.

"What am I even doing? Jaye kahi bhi, mujhe kya?" As if finally snapped out of a trance she spoke. Looking around briefly she picked her phone up and was just about to walk out when he walked in.

Tired was an understatement to convey what he was feeling at the moment, and this combined with hunger was a deadly combination. Even if he wanted to just pass out, he had made his way to eat. Yet what he wasn't expecting was finding Saman there.

"You're here." He heard her, even though she was murmuring.

"You were waiting?" He asked, his voice low and bewildered.

"Why would I...I wait...I was just...just here for-" she fumbled  at her words, while her eyes looked everywhere but at him." water, yes water. I was thirsty." She looked up, her fake confidence made him smile, he had already seen the bowls and pots of food on the island behind her.

"Oh, I was just hungry, you can leave if you're done." He spoke, yet what he wished was exactly opposite of what he spoke. Her flushed face contoured into various emotions.

"As I..I am here, I can heat up your food." Saman spoke hurriedly turning around. Armaan couldn't help but grin.

"Sit." Armaan nodded at her back and obliged. Pressing his lips to stop his smile he scratched his neck. Where did the tiredness from before go?

"What emergency was it?" she asked, still not facing him.

"Work related, some gangster's men had broken inside the hospital to threaten one of my patients, who happens to be another gang's person. Staff had called police as well but they were late, as usual,too much drama followed but all of them were arrested."

Saman turned towards him with widened eyes.

"Are you crazy? You had gone to handle gangsters on your own, without any police protection! Are you a superhero or something that your staff called you first and even if they did, how can you be so stupid to go there? What if they had attacked you or worse?" her voice grew louder as she completed her rant.

"It was related to my patient Saman, I had to go." he reasoned.

"Not when your patient was a freaking criminal!" She yelled putting her hand on her waist. She was pissed at him, and at his stupid audacity.

"These things aren't a problem, they happen quite often." Armaan got up.

"Not a problem? Are you hearing yourself? Does Nausheen Chahi and chachu know that their son thinks of himself as some superhero?" Saman stalked towards him as she spoke.

"They don't,but I can't just ignore my duty. This profession has some rights on me." Armaan explained calmly.

"What about your parent's right on you? They dont deserve to find one day that their son is harmed or worse, because he couldn't differentiate harmful situations." Saman glared at him.

"Someday you go to a place and nobody can contact you for weeks and sometimes you are gone for hours without any news. Why can't  you understand, your life is not your own we-" Saman stopped, her eyes wavering from him." Your family worries about you." She took a few steps back.

Armaan carefully watched her reading  the lines of her face. He stepped forward, inchining towards her slowly,"And what about you Saman?" He asked.

"We all do." She whispered looking at him from her lowered lashes.

"I am asking about you Saman, do you worry about me? Am I answerable to you too?"  They now stood just a step away from each other. Just a small step away.

"You are not." Saman replied.

"But what if I want to be?" He asked, his voice breathy and low. Saman's eyes snapped towards him.

"What if I want to be answerable to you, what if I want you to have all the rights to worry about me, think about me, scold me." Armaan's hand reached towards her face but stopped just at a hairline from it.

"Kafi koshish ki hai maine, tumse door rehne ki, apne feelings se bhagne ki, par ab nahi. I don't know what you feel, what you have in your mind but, I know about myself. I don't want to run anymore, when all I want is to be here.” He stopped for a brief moment, watching her, as her glittery eyes stared at him. ‘“Will you give me the rights to be here, with you?"

"Yeh haq dogi mujhe Saman?"

Saman's eyes searched his, just to find any kind of deceit or any sign of this being a facade, but the only thing she found was unfeigned truth.

"I will wait for your answer, whatever it will be, mujhe manzoor hoga." Armaan whispered calmly,stepping back.

Saman didn't wait for another second, and left. The whole universe knew that if she had stayed longer, even for a moment, nothing would remain but the two and their hearts. The same hearts that had finally won the battle with egos, that had already given every right, every haq to each other without even asking.

______________

Assalamualaikum everyone.

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