مہینے اپنے هاتھوں سے گوایا ہے توجھے
اشنا کوئی اور اب بھایا یہ توجھے

Maine apne hathon se gawaya hai tujhe
Ashna koi aur ab bhaya ye tujhe

***

Armaan had been ignoring the nagging feeling in his head from a long time, and he was planning to do the same for a little more while. It never felt like the  right time . But, the thing he didn't know was, that delaying would lead him to  nowhere, or maybe at an end where there will be nothing left.

He had done his packing adequately for the upcoming trip. He didn't want to miss this opportunity even though there was few things to worry about.  He had gotten an invitation to join a team of doctors traveling to some African countries  for volunteering work. He had immediately agreed to this but his parents were quite sceptical.

He had to be away for a whole month and travel to few countries continuously. The chances to communicating was scarce.

"Beta I don't have a good feeling about this, are you sure you want to go?" Nausheen asked making him smile at her.

"Ammi, you don't have to worry. I am sure I want to do this, it's a golden opportunity for me." He again tried to assure  her. It wasn't the  first time she had objected to his decision. He could understand their plight but he was not going to change his decision. Unlike his parents,Noor was quite supporting on this matter, she had assured him that she would handle everyone for him. 

"Ammi, In sha Allah everything will be alright." Armaan said and kissed the back of his mother's hand.

_________

The darkest of night had now covered the beautiful day in an enigmatic way,and so not even stars could find light. Fighting for their freedom the stars screamed, yelled yet the darkness muffled its voices...the stars need to calm down. Those feeling that wished for freedom, to break out needed to stay captured. Even if this was cruel, it had to be this way.

Armaan had never thought that he could be cruel to himself and his, heart just like he didn't know, darkness that makes the star shine can also become its captive. Gazing up at the black blanket he was supressing every word that he wanted to say.

The lump in his throat was making it difficult for him to even breathe. He had never felt like this, as if everything he had was going away....so far that even infinity was near.

But, he didn't know of what he was loosing.

He didn't know, if this was all just mayhem created by his mind or a warning that he shouldn't delay. And even if it was any of the two, it shouldn't matter much. His mind would calm down and what could a little delay do?

"I haven't seen anyone see the black sky with so much concentration." A sudden voice snapped him out of his trance. He looked away from the sky and turned towards the person who had just made their presence known.

"Is it really so beautiful?"

"Maybe." He replied making the person to step closer and stand in front of him. The faint lights coming from afar made it possible for him to look at the person who had been the reason for the chaos inside him. And how he wished to make her the calm to his chaos too. Yet it wasn't the right time, he thought.

"Aren't you afraid of the darkness it cast? And how it muffles the screams of stars and moon?" She asked making him smile.

"Isn't that too cruel of a judgement? Maybe it is protecting?" he asked in voice that could be called a mere whisper.

"Protection is too good of a word to describe supression. Stars are meant to shine...the moon too. What is it protecting?" Her own voice  was low.

"Maybe protecting it from rejection." He replied.

"Who can reject light?" Saman asked and looked away, yet he didn't.

"I don't know." Armaan replied.

"Then your judgment that darkness here is protecting is wrong. Light has to come out, before it's too late." Saman said facing him. Passing a small smile to him she again looked away. And how he wished she wouldn't have. If only she didn't look away, if only she could just see what was showing in his eyes. But for that, she had to stay...stop and look at him yet everytime she walked away and looked away. She wasn't meant to stop not right now but when?

It was when a drop of warm tear slipped out of his eyes Armaan looked away from her. Quickly wiping his eyes he composed himself.

"When will you leave tomorrow?" Saman asked.

"After fajr." He replied  making her nod.

"I hope you have a nice time there and help alot of people. You are going for a great cause and I pray to Allah he gives you great rewards for this." She spoke making him smile.

"Ameen."

"I should go inside, it's almost midnight. Shabbakhair." Saman said and after giving him a quick smile walked away. And just like many other times, he watched her walk away...and disappear in the dark. 

_______

The early morning was gloomy today. It was cloudyas if the sun had refused to rise, still upset from the torture of darkness. It had every right to after all.

The shah gharana was up from fajr to see off Armaan. His luggage was already kept in the car, the only thing left now was to  meet the family. They all were smiling at him even though he knew they were somewhere scared. He passed them a reassuring smile.

"Allah hafiz." He spoke making them reply the same. His eyes went towards the main door and lingered there for a moment and disappointed at the absence of her he decided to just leave now but stopped. The presence his entire self was screaming to see was walking towards him, with haste steps and panicked eyes.

Soon  her eyes found him and she visibly relaxed. Waving her hand slowly she smiled at him and then gave him a thumbs up. Her beautiful smile still intact and as if it had all the light he needed he felt his inside lighten up. Passing her a small smile he nodded his head in acknowledgement and turned towards the car.

And untill his car left the premises of The haveli his eyes didn't leave the side mirror where along with his family she too was standing. Yet amongst all those he loved and all those who loved him he watched only the one who was unaware.

____________

A week and a half later Ahad could say that he was now able to understand the business things a little better. It wasn't still not enough yet he was able to handle it in a better way. Just a day back he had made a deal for raw materials with their dealer and as Fahad said it was  decent deal. He was happy about it. Yet he couldn't bring himself to even smile.

Armaan left today and the conversation they had the previous night was still echoing in his mind.

"What have you decided Armaan bhai?" Ahad asked making Armaan watch him for a long moment. He gulped down the lump in his throat.

"I haven't decided anything yet." He replied making Ahad curse under his breath.

"Bhai why are you delaying this so much? What actually is on your mind?" He asked.

"Ahad I am still not able to name my feelings, what am I suppose to do when I don't even know my intentions?"

"How are you so unaware Armaan bhai. It is all clear, it was from day one yet here you are still acting like a foolish teenage. Bhai I can see what it is and trust me if anyone would pay a little bit attention they too would know what it is!" Ahad was furious now. He so wanted Armaan to atleast take a step ahead because he knew what delaying things could lead to. Destruction.

"Ahad it's not that easy. I am afraid." Armaan said and held hi head in his hands.

"Of what bhai? What?"

"That if I go ahead she would suffer.  What if she doesn't wants what I want and what if what I do hurts her? I can't see her in pain Ahad." Armaan spoke looking at thr black sky. It was uncharacteristically dark today.

"Nor can I bhai. And as her brother I know this will never hurt her or even if it does I will be there for her. But I also know one thing if you don't even take a step ahead everything may turn worst. For you and for her." Ahad spoke again trying to make his point reach Armaan but it seemed like he was immune to everything.

"Bhai please before going atleast make a decision." Ahad whispered.

Armaan remained silent for a long while, contemplating everything. While Ahad sat there looking at his cousin with utmost curiosity. He didn't know what a mistake he was doing by delaying.

"I will tell you my decision after I come back. " Armaam spoke making Ahad raise his brows in confusion

"Why not now ? Bhai I don't think you should even waste a moment more and you are going for a month." Ahad said

"Ahad I don't want to rush things, and if anything happens in this month it would be fate." Armaan said.

"Bhai I am not in favor of this decision, please don't do this." Ahad was agitated to another extent.

"Ahad please let it be." Armaan said making Ahad groan.

"This is so going downhill." Ahad spoke and walked away.

And he could feel something bad was about to happen.  It was an annoying feeling clutching his heart and even if he was trying to get it off, he was failing.

He had a slight headache so he laid down on the couch in his cabin. It wasn't much comfortable but better than the chaie he was sitting on. He had closed his eyes for a moment when he heard a knock on the door and a groan left his mouth. 

"Come in."

"Ahad can you take a look at this, all of this is not making any sen-" Nadia stopped finding Ahad in a weird position sprawled on the sofa. He was hugging the cushion on his chest and was looking at her with a confused and annoyed gaze.

"Are you okay?" She asked keeping the folder away. Ahad relaxed back and closed his eyes.

"Yeah, just tired." He said.

"What happened?"

"Nothing, I said I am just tired. Can you not leave it?" He sounded annoyed. Nadia  was startled at his tone, it had been a long time since he spoke to her so rudely.  Lately they were on good terms and far from taunting and talking rudely but it seemed for a second that the Ahad from a long time back was here again. She watched him for a moment and sighed.

Here goes her mood.

"Fine.  " she replied and turned around to go only to stop by an unexpected entry. She smiled seeing Sara enter along with Alizeh.

"What a surprise" Nadia spoke making Sara look at her finally and smile ear to ear.

"Salam Naddo baji!" She squeaked making Nadia shake her head.

"Assalamualaikum Nadia." It was Alizeh this time. Replying her with a smile Nadia turned around and found Ahad now sitting straight on the couch he was sprawled on a moment ago. She rolled her eyes at this.

"Why are you here?" Ahad asked.

"We don't have a driver." Sara said making Ahad raise his brows.

"So?"

"So you are driving us back." Sara said placing her hands on her waist making Ahad scoff.

"And why would I do that? Why don't you take Asim bhai with you?" He said. Asmi was Ahad and Sara's cousin from their mom's side who also worked in the factory.

"No I won't trouble him."

"And you can trouble me? " he asked making Sara smile proudly.

"Bhai chalein na please Asim bhai ko hazar kaam hote hain." Sara said exasperated. [Bhai please, Asim bhai has thousands of work. ]

"Han aur mujhe koi kaam nahi hai?" At this both Sara and Nadia shook their heads. [And I don't have any work?]

"You were literally sleeping when I came here! " sara said making Nadia chuckle. Serves him right.

"You are blind and I am not going!" Ahad said.

"Bhai!"

"Yaar Alizeh do something! " Sara turned towards Alizeh making her raise her brows.

"What can I do?" She whispered.

"Ask him, he won't say no to you." Sara whispered back making Alizeh watch her with confusion. Nadia too heard what Sara was saying and she too looked perplexed. While on the other hand Sara had a small mysterious smile on her face. 
Sara gestured Alizeh to speak making Alizeh nod and face Ahad. Nadia too turned towards him and found him looking in Alizeh and Sara's way

"Ahad, please. " Alizeh spoke and immediately looked at Sara who nodded her head in satisfaction. Nadia though was still watching Ahad as his eyes were still on Alizeh, and they were shining.  Softness in his gaze and a small smile on his face. A look so familiar to Nadia yet the softness it held was cutting her heart in slices. She was well aware of the way he was looking at Alizeh, for this was the same way she had grown habitual of seeing him with. 

"Fine, let's go." He said and got up. While  Nadia stood there, watching him as he picked his car's  keys, phone and wallet and as he passed his fingers in his hair trying to fix those ruffled mess and as he walked behind Sara and Alizeh with a small smile.

Nadia stood there watching the wretched twist of fate. She stood there watching the now empty room for so long that her eyes got tired and tears slipped out of them.

________________

Dropping Sara at the haveli was quite a task for Ahad. She wasn't leaving Alizeh, as if she had been glued to her sides and even though they talked whole way to haveli they took another ten minutes for the same even when they reached haveli's gate. Ahad was sure he had rolled his eyes to the point he forgot the count.

So after so many bye and see you again,  finally Alizeh and Ahad were leaving for Alizeh's place.

Ahad took a glance at the rearview and saw her looking outside, lost in herself. Not to make her uncomfortable he hadn't insisted on her sitting at the passenger seat and so here he was sneaking glances. Even though he knew he shouldn't. 

"Are you liking Alamnagar Alizeh?"

"Umm...isn't it too late to ask that?" Alizeh spoke with a hint of smile making Ahad grin.

"Maybe it is, but we have to have a topic to converse?" Ahad watched Alizeh again and found her looking at him with an amused smile.

"Full marks for the efforts here," Alizeh giggled softly "and yes I am liking Alamnagar, more than I had expected."

"That's nice to hear, mostly people from big city's don't like our small town that much." Ahad teased.

"Well that's their preference but Alamnagar feels like home to me." Looking outside, Alizeh spoke as if in a trance.

Ahad couldn't stop himself for looking at her for a longer moment, as if captivated. Her smile and the softness she carried had mesmerized him, yet again.

______________

"Nausheen, Rameesha Ihsan is coming today. " Munazza informed her sister-in- laws as they were having their evening tea.

"Today? So suddenly, is everything fine?" Nausheen placed her cup down.

"I hope so, he just said that there is something he wanted to discuss about Saman." Munazza replied. She had an idea of what was coming. Before leaving,Ihsan had hinted about it but she didn't know why she was feeling a little worried.

"About Saman? Is he taking her with him?" Rameesha sounded scared as if the mere thought of Saman's departure had made her restless.

"I don't think so and even if he wants to I won't let him take Saman with him." Everyone in the haveli knew the kind of relation Munazza had with Saman and they knew Ihsan won't do any such thing as taking Saman back. But it could be anything.

"I can say Saman herself won't go." Nausheen added smiling softly.

"I hope so too bhabi." Rameesha added.

But Munazza was silent.

____________

Assalamualaikum everyone.

How are you all?

Thank you for reading.