"So what brings you this way, Sir Mikael?" Brandon asked as he took a bite of succulent, perfectly cooked meat.

"It just so happens I am in the middle of a noble quest to rescue a fair maiden," the paladin replied.

"We're on our way to rescue a princess, too," Brandon said. "Maybe it's the same girl. We could join forces!"

"Hey, who said anything about rescuing a princess?" Fabian said with a mouthful of hare. "That broad can rot in the wizard's tower for all I care. No, we're getting that cat and then we're getting the hell out of there."

"What is this cat you speak of?" Sir Mikael asked.

"We're trying to find a missing cat," Brandon explained. "It was stolen by a wizard. He said he'd kidnapped a princess, too."

"Was it the wizard known as Delroy?" Sir Mikael asked. "For that is the name of the fiend I am on a mission to defeat."

"You know I didn't catch his name," Fabian said. "It doesn't really matter. Wizards are all jerks."

"Now that isn't true," Sir Mikael said. "I have known many sorcerers and mages over the years whose character is unassailable. Unfortunately some magic users are drawn towards evil. Delroy is such as this. I do believe he was good once upon a time, but years of the allure of powerful magic have tainted his soul. Now he has kidnapped the princess of Wooglebury and keeps her imprisoned in a tower guarded by a monstrous dragon."

"I'm pretty sure that's the guy we're after," Brandon said.

"This is excellent news," Sir Mikael said. "It will be good to have solid allies in my fight. Delroy is a dangerous mage of great power."

"This is good news," Fabian said. "You can totally distract that guy while we sneak in and get the cat. It's a winning situation for everyone. Plus you can be in charge of catching all the food, building all the fires, and preparing all the meals. Also, you can take first watch. Now that my belly's full I'm getting drowsy again. Those naps were nice, but nothing beats a good night's sleep."

"I would be happy to take first watch," Sir Mikael said. "Rothchild can keep me company as I ensure your safety as you sleep."

"I have no need of sleep," Druvidia said. "I can watch all night and all of you can sleep."

"I don't trust you with my life, lady," Fabian said. "The paladin can take first watch. Then Scrote can take the second watch. Then the paladin can watch again until morning."

"Aren't you going to take a watch?" Druvidia asked.

"Pshaw!" Fabian said. "Obviously I need my beauty sleep. Plus, we're all going to want me to be well rested since we will undoubtedly need to rely on my superior wits to get through the trials and tribulations that lie ahead. I like a solid eight hours. Preferably ten. All right, well, I'll see you guys in the morning." He made his way to his patch of grass and was out cold as soon as his head hit the ground.

He was awoken by a frantic shaking in the middle of the night. "Sir, wake up. Somebody's here. I heard twigs snapping."

"So go deal with it, Scrote. I was in the middle of a dream involving a couple of hot redhead twins. I don't have time for this nonsense."

"But what if it's monsters, sir?"

"Then kill them. Get that paladin loser to help you. Just leave me out of it."

Suddenly a figure dropped from the tree overhead and landed on Fabian's chest. It was a bald man of indeterminate age. He opened his mouth revealing a row of long sharp fangs.

"Aw man, it's a vampire," Fabian said. "You got any of that firewood left? Get one with a sharp end and ram it through this thing's heart."

"You threw all the wood on the fire as you laughed at Druvidia, sir. Remember?"

"No, I don't, but that's not really the issue at the moment. Get this thing off of me! It's trying to take a chunk out of my neck."

The vampire was doing its best to bite Fabian but he was so far able to keep it at bay with his arms.

Brandon looked around on the ground and saw a pretty big stick nearby. It wasn't particularly sharp, but it was the best he could find on such short notice. He picked it up and swung it as hard as he could at the vampire that was assaulting Fabian. It snapped in half as it struck the creature's back without doing any harm whatsoever. On the plus side, the piece he still held in his hand now had a bit of a jagged edge to it. He attempted to stab the vampire with it, but it snapped in half again, leaving him holding a tiny little stub. He tossed it aside and next tried to tackle the vampire. It let out a loud hiss and slapped him away. Then it went back to trying to bite Fabian's neck.

Brandon had sailed several feet away after absorbing the powerful blow from the vampire. He was just shaking off the stars spinning around his head when he heard another hissing noise behind him. He turned around just in time to see a gaunt man with slicked back hair charging towards him with fangs bared. "Oh no, not another one," he said as he tried to duck out of the way. The vampire placed its hands around Brandon's neck and began to squeeze. He struggled mightily but he couldn't slip loose from the creature's astonishingly strong grasp. His vision was just starting to go black when he saw movement behind the vampire and the glint of light reflecting off of metal.

A figure had emerged from behind a tree and stealthily walked up to the vampire before plunging something into its back. The vampire let out a horrific scream as it released Brandon and then burst into flames.

"Gotcha, you bugger," an unfamiliar voice said. "I've been tracking these things for days. I thought they'd given me the slip, but I caught up to them finally."

Brandon blinked his eyes and saw a chubby man in a bright red robe standing in front of him. He held forth a large silver ankh, which was presumably what he had used to kill the vampire. "Thanks for saving me, mister. My name is Brandon."

"I'm Derek," the man said with a nod. "Derek the cleric. Pleased to be of assistance."

"Hello?" Fabian called out. "Could I get a little help over here? This thing's trying to rip my throat out!"

"Oh, yes, of course," Derek said with a cough. "Be right there, old chap." He ran up and plunged his ankh deep into the vampire's back. It let out a deafening shriek before it, too, burst into flames.

Sir Mikael lifted up his head from where he lay a short distance away. "Not to complain, but would you guys mind keeping it down? I'm trying to catch a little sleep before I take watch again. Thanks." He rolled back over and began snoring softly.

Fabian grasped at his neck. "I think he bit me. Aw man, am I going to turn into a vampire?"

"Did he make you drink his blood?" Derek asked.

"Ew. Gross. No. I would have spat it back in his face if he tried. What do you think I am, some kind of weirdo who likes drinking the blood of strange dudes?"

"As long as you didn't ingest any of the abomination's blood, you should be fine."

"Yeah? Well, it hurts like the bloody hell. Hey, tree lady! Get over here and use your healing juju on me!"

Druvidia materialized next to him and studied the puncture marks in his neck. "I am afraid we have traveled too far from my forest and my magic grows weak. I will be unable to heal your wounds. You'll just have to suffer through them. And you'll probably have some ugly scars."

"What? I can't ruin my perfect smooth complexion. That's my 'in' with the ladies. You worthless log. You're lying. You just don't want to heal me."

"Actually, I don't. But even if I did, I can't. My magic is tied to the enchanted forest and we're getting further and further away from it."

"Perhaps I could be of further assistance," Derek said. "I'm a cleric, after all. I have some healing magic. Just allow me a moment to pray to my god."

"You do that," Fabian said as he rubbed his neck. "Gross, it's bleeding everywhere. Hurry up with the prayers, will you?"

Derek closed his eyes and chanted something quietly. After a few minutes his ankh began to glow with a white light. He pointed it towards the bite marks on Fabian's neck and the light flew out of the ankh and into Fabian. He felt a warm tingly feeling and then the pain went away entirely. He felt his neck again and it was perfectly smooth.

"Not bad," Fabian said. "Do you know how to exorcise an evil spirit?" He glared at Druvidia.

"I do have the power to drive away spirits, but this woman does not strike me as evil."

"Stick around for a little while," Fabian said. "She's as evil as they come. You'll see."

"Now that I've completed my mission of destroying these foul creatures, I suppose I do find myself without much to do. What are you guys up to?"

"We are on an epic quest to rescue an innocent creature who has been wrongly captured and imprisoned," Fabian said. "You have proven yourself to be pretty useful. I'll let you stick around and assist me if you'd like. I get a fifty percent cut of any treasure you happen to find along the way, just so we're clear."

"I have taken a vow of poverty," Derek said. "You may have one hundred percent of any treasure I find."

"I knew I liked you, Derek," Fabian said. "You're going to fit in with us just fine. Now, how would you feel about taking watch so the rest of us can get some much needed sleep?"

"Well, I have been up over forty-eight hours tracking these things down, but I suppose I could stay up a bit longer and keep watch."

"Perfect," Fabian said. "Now don't wake me up again until you've built a fire and gotten breakfast ready. Okay? Thanks."

"I apologize, old chap, but I'm not in possession of much in the way of rations. Vow of poverty and all that."

"Just wake up that paladin over there at first light. He can hunt us some food and then the two of you can cook it. You can get Scrote to help you, too, if you need him. Now seriously, go over by that tree and take watch. I'm tired. And I don't want to be woken up until I smell some tasty food cooking or there's going to be hell to pay."

"Right you are, good sir," Derek said as he whistled a little tune to himself and settled in under the tree.