• Timeline •

A few days after Vinay's departure.
aka, post their breakup.

●○●

I flipped through the pages of Vinay's diary mindlessly as the gears of my mind began to whir. I'd taken a small detour from the restrooms after lunch to our makeshift DantelSoft office to check up on my deadlines, but had ended up pulling out the fat black notebook, it's leather cover all weathered and soft under my fingers. 1999 was embossed in silvery gold letters on the upper right corner. It was the year when he was born.

I'd probably read Vinay's three times by now and although the pages housed his deepest, darkest thoughts and the small things that gave him something to wake up for every day, I absolutely loved it. He wasn't Anne Frank and his hardships definitely weren't anything like hers. They were merely a different kind. And to me his diary was no less than a freaking masterpiece.

I knew now why he couldn't bring himself to so much as even consider not going to Cornell. Being shunned by society, your parents at that, is hard. And desperate times call for desperate measures. Vinay had been borderline depressed for a long time after that, eventually leading him down the path of self loathing and destruction.

Swallowing, I blinked away the wetness that had started to appear in my eyes.

It had been one and a half month.

And like every other hormonal teenager I'd read dozens of cheesy romances filled with temporary breakups and sorrowful fanfare. Too bad I wasn't living inside a story book.

Vinay's absence hurt, both mentally and physically. Although I'd accepted everything for how it was going to be, there would be times when something as trivial and mundane as passing by a motorcycle showroom would trigger my feelings. My mind would shut down momentarily and my heart would clench painfully.

The frequency of those feelings was slowly decreasing though. I suppose time does help to heal as long as you don't force it and go with the flow.

"Akira, are you going to come to the meeting with TYCHE this afternoon?" Harsh's voice slapped reality back into my face.

He walked up to my workstation casually, a couple of assignment binders in one hand.

"Yes, I will." I nodded, exhaling deeply before rubbing my eyes.

Harsh paused, before asking, "Are you sure you want to meet them? I know that they fired you unfairly and all."

I sighed, sucking my lips into my mouth.

"I think it's time for me to put that behind me too. I understand now that they did what they had to, to save face in the corporate world. That small mistake could have cost them millions, maybe even ruined them completely because they're still classified under the startup category." I said thoughtfully.

"All right then," Harsh answered, rummaging through a pile of troubleshoot report files, "Be ready after classes get over. We're taking Neel's car."

I nodded, flashing him a small smile.

He turned to leave, but paused abruptly and looked over his shoulder at the diary in my hands.

"Is that Vinay's diary?" he asked, recognition filtering into his expression.

"Yes." I said, holding it defensively as Harsh walked towards me to take a look, "I'm not letting you read it."

"Chill," something flashed behind his guarded eyes, "I just want to see if there's anything on the first page. I used to have the same dairy before. My parents got identical ones for the two of us when we were eight with our birth year embossed on the top."

I flipped to the first page and truly enough there was a Dr. Seuss quote neatly written in black ink in an unfamiliar cursive handwriting.

You're off to great places! Today is your day!

Your mountain is waiting, so get on your way!

Harsh inched his hand forward slowly and traced the words, a nostalgic smile making his mouth curve upward.

"We used to love that story you know, both Vinay and me. My parents would read it to us at bedtime whenever Vinay came over during the summer holidays. And they used to get annoyed about the fact that we never got tired of it." Harsh said softly, "So one day they got us diaries to write our own stories."

"That's so thoughtful and sweet." I commented, "Your parents sound wonderful."

"They were the best people I've ever known." Harsh nodded, his smile widening as he stepped back.

"Where's yours?" I asked, "I don't think I've ever seen it."

Harsh let out a quiet sigh.

"Yeah, that's because I lost it." Harsh said ruefully, "More like threw it away. It happened after my parents passed away, and I was this little child who was angry at the world, not to mention awfully jealous of Vinay because he had everything that I craved for. So I threw away the diary because I couldn't bear the thought of our time together with my parents."

"Oh." I mumbled, biting back a chuckle.

"Go ahead and laugh," Harsh shook his head, "I know I was a stupid kid."

I snorted loudly.

"But just so you know, I used to draw very vivid stick figure pictures of my favourite cartoons in it, especially Tom and Jerry. No less than a masterpiece, I tell you." He deadpanned.

"If you say so." I giggled.

Suddenly, he had a moment of profound realization and he stilled momentarily.

"Shit! I totally forgot," Harsh slapped his forehead in a comical manner, "Roshni wants my hard drive filled with my favourite anime."

"Roshni and pirated anime?" I surmised aloud.

"Don't you dare judge me Akira!" Harsh narrowed his eyes, before opening the first drawer of his desk, "Our generation grew up on pirated videos. And the word free just makes everything sound so much more appealing."

"I know that!" I exclaimed in an annoyed tone, "What I meant to say is that Roshni doesn't even like anime."

"What?" Harsh paused, giving me a confused look, "Why would she ask me for my hard drive then?"

"Gosh, are you that bad at reading social cues?" I asked, raising my brow.

Harsh scrunched his nose as he stared at me blankly.

"Ugh fine," I shook my head, "I think Roshni might fancy you."

"Me?" Harsh choked, "Why me?"

"Go ask her." I shrugged, "Not directly though!"

Harsh remained silent for a moment before looking down at the hard drive clutched in his hand. A shy smile creeped its way onto his face.

"You really think she likes me." Harsh asked.

"Well, she's never told me so explicitly but if she's asking you to get her anime clips which I know for a fact that she dislikes a lot, she might." I elaborated, "Or maybe I'm just reading it wrong. I'm not sure. Do you want me to find out?"

"No!" Harsh said quickly, "I'll do it myself."

I smiled, nodding my head in response. Maybe this would be his chance to move on.

"But wait," I asked as a thought crossed my mind, "When did you start talking to Roshni? I've never seen you two talk before."

Harsh scratched the back of his neck as his ears turned pink.

"We text. Sometimes." He stated simply, "It's a long story."

"Uhuh?" I raised my eyebrow in a teasing manner.

"Don't look at me like that, ok. I'm not telling you." He muttered.

"Well, Roshni will anyway." I shrugged.

"Whatever." He rolled his eyes, "Don't take too long after classes. We'll be meeting in the parking lot. And talk to Vinay. He keeps complaining that you won't video call him."

"That was just once, ok. I hadn't washed my hair that day." I jumped to my defence.

"Tell him that." He called out over his shoulder as he walked out.

With a quiet sigh I turned my attention back to the diary, remnants of my broken heart resurfacing in the deep ocean of my mind as solitude engulfed me all over again.

I had all these feelings swirling inside me that had no outlet. I didn't know how to express them aloud or get rid of them.

I contemplated putting the diary away for a few days, burying it under my course books.

After all, out of sight was out of mind, right?

I shook my head.

Words began to swirl around my mind and I felt the sudden urge to pen them down. Impulsively, I turned to a fresh page near the end of the diary and rested my pen on the top left corner, and started writing.

I hold my fallen heart,

As you love me from afar,

Under my wishes you leave me,

With a heart that aches to have you back.

Come to me my love,

Be mine, only mine,

For when I tell you to go,

My heart and mind scream for you to be mine,

Just mine.

The light in your eyes,

The eyes that burn holes in mine,

The knot we created with invisible ties,

So when you're gone I'll be fine,

But that's just a lie.

The shattered, the bruised and the broken,

Those secrets you told me, your vulnerabilities,

I wish to make them mine.

For you, every pain seems fine,

Every strand of your scorched past, will be mine,

Every whisper of a secret, I'll make it mine,

I just want you,

The flawed yet complete you.

Be mine,

Only mine.

I shut the diary without going over the string of words I had scrawled without a single pause. The whole thing sounded exceedingly cheesy to me but at least it was finally out. And if Vinay ever found it he'd know that it wasn't as easy for me to let go as I made it out to be. I wanted him to read it. Some day.

Shaking my head I stood up, brushing down my trousers as I collected my stuff. I needed a breath of fresh air before the next class.

●○●

The poem was written by the my sweetest wp friend JariaMirza14 who is awesome btw!

Honestly, when my parents said that life will be a cakewalk after high-school I actually believed them.
Why didn't they tell me about the endless tests and assignments?!

AHHH!

So after three months of online classes  my college decided to take three consecutive weeks of tests with no break, along with online classes happening simultaneously.

Istg it's the perfect recipe to kill a bright eyed, attempting-to-be-optimistic teenager like me!

Anyway, enough of my unwanted complaints. I'm sure no one's interested because you'll are probably going through the same.

So please vote, comment, share and don't forget to spread the love!

Also I want to make a playlist for this book. So please comment some relevant songs here >>

More bonus chapters about Vinay and epilogue will be out next week (hopefully).