"Hey Sweety, how was your day with Maya?" My mother Topanga asked as I entered our apartment. Normally Maya would have walked home with me. But tonight Lucas offered to walk her home since he'd walked me home two days before. She only slightly hesitated before accepting. Jealousy consumed me as I watched the two stroll down the New York sidewalk. They were almost out of eye shot when I saw Lucas reach for Maya's hand. I turned away quickly. I couldn't bare to see her with him. I wanted to be the one locking fingers with her! 

"It was great." I said with a half smile. 

My mother caught on to my tone and looked up from the papers she was skimming over for work. 

"What's wrong?" She inquired. 

"Nothing, I'm just tired. That's all." I tried to smile as I hugged her from behind. 

"You sure?" She said with concern. 

"Yep." 

"You should get some sleep then." She directed, focusing her attention back on her work. 

"You're right." I whispered and trudged to my room. 

I peeled off my clothes until I was left in my underwear. I didn't even bother to put on pajamas before I crawled into my bed and curled up under my blankets. I brought the purple comforter up over my head and in my safe place I began to cry. The funny thing was my safe place didn't feel so safe. I still felt vulnerable and exposed. Maybe it was because I knew my true safe place was walking home with Mr. Perfect. Of course they were probably at her house by now but it didn't matter. She was with him. 

I began to silently cry. I wanted my best friend back. 

I cried until I slipped into a deep sleep. The only kind of sleep you cry yourself into. 

I dreamed of Rileytown. All my friends were there Farkle and Smakle were married and had a million little Minki running around. Zay and Vanessa had built a house of gold on the outskirts of town. Lucas Was a farmer who lived alone with his animals. But best of all was the beautiful castle placed on top of a hill smack in the middle of Rileytown. It could be seen from every direction and many people stopped to admire it. 

The castle stood three flours high and had many, many, spacious rooms. The walls were carved out of the finest marble and the furniture inside was made from Carolina Oak wood. The halls were lined with antiques, fine art, and things of sentimental value to both me and Maya. 

That was the best part of the castle. The only occupants were me and my friend. We spent the days roaming the castle, exploring. I was Maya's muse. She had paintings upon paintings of me. We did everything together. And at the end of the day we retreated to our royal bedroom. Maya laid down on the gigantic bed beside me. My dream self decided that the only thing that would make this dream better would be for me to put my arm around Maya and hold her close to me. I did so but it turned my dream into a nightmare. 

Maya wrenched away from me. She looked down on me with disgust. 

"Riley! I'm not gay, please stop!" She yelled. 

I shrunk back in surprise. Of course, even in my dreams she was straight. I could never have want I wanted, what I needed. 

Even in my dream I cried myself to sleep. 

I woke up in the morning in a panic. A crushing weight was dropped on my chest.

"Help!" I wheezed.

The weight snickered and rolled to the side. Maya pulled the comforter up and joined me under its warm embrace. 

"Maya! That hurt!" I fussed. 

My friend was smiling at me with sparkles in her eyes. 

"I'm sorry." She said with only a hint of sincerity. 

I couldn't stay mad at her. No matter how hard I tried. 

"I forgive you Peaches."

"I know you do Honey." Maya said smugly.