Guilt had been a fickle teacher.

Iliya didn't remember much of her transport from the ballroom to her bed, only Ezre lecturing her about the stunt she pulled that nearly cost Qudja her life. She was barely conscious, dozing in and out through a rant she could barely remember.

She prayed it meant she didn't have to hear it again.

Her whole body felt submerged in cement, leaden and unable to move. Considering the weight of the water glass beside her made her muscles shake. She'd pass for now.

Iliya didn't know why they'd brought her to the bed instead of the infirmary. It seemed odd to her considering it was the safest place in the Estate, located on the other side of the library and even farther beneath. She had no idea how many beds were filled right now.

The couch across the room was empty, as well as the armchair. Silence filled the room in an eerie way that spiked her adrenaline enough to sit up. There were no sprites, no cheering outside.

Any joy Solstice had created was swallowed whole by the killing field downstairs.

Even the dust sprites were gone.

Reaching out, Iliya took the water left on the table and washed away the dryness. The single action sapped the rest of her strength and she slunk back into the sheets.

The sun wasn't yet high, she had time.

Iliya closed her eyes, deciding to try again later.

~ 🔮 ~

Blood still stained the marble floors of her family home.

The sight before her gave more insight into why they'd chosen to treat her in bed. Iliya couldn't drag her attention away from the carnage in front of her. Despite the bodies having already been removed, she was certain there must've been more than she ever dreamed.

Too much blood.

Too much wreckage.

Her stomach flipped and she raced the rest of the way down the stairs, tears filling her eyes. She needed to see them. She needed to help.

Thoughts raced through her head as she attempted to figure out how long she'd been unconscious. How long her family had been struggling to handle the destruction on their own.

She only knew her body moved on its own, her mind reeling.

Iliya found herself in the kitchens next, her vision glazed over as she scavenged the left over refreshments from the Sealing. She found muffins and cakes and treats that might sound appealing and filled a basket with them.

Her sadness stuck to the back of her throat like fire. No matter how useless this felt, no matter how little anyone might care, she needed to help.

The next thing she knew, she was in the Infirmary, so dissociated she couldn't remember walking through every corridor and room. Heilos, Iliya hadn't even looked at herself before dressing in sweats and stumbling through the halls.

No one was around to tell her what happened.

She had no idea what to prepare herself for as she stepped into the entryway.

The first room was a small visiting office with a large glass wall. Built during a massive viral outbreak, they allowed people to speak through the glass that spanned three different rooms on the other side.

She didn't know what she anticipated, but every room had been filled. Each room had about twenty narrow beds on either side, save for the last with ten. It was usually left for members of the Dalaminai line themselves.

Her mother stood watching with a hand over her mouth, silent tears running down her face. Destry watched as a team of Castors attended those within the room. After a moment she turned to leave, startling when she saw Iliya in the doorway.

"Honey... You're awake..."

"What happened?" Iliya asked, tightening her grip on the basket.

"I... Ezre said you might not have a lot of memory..." her mother murmured. "The Aphyre cracked when Sorein began Sealing himself. Levias offered his aid in the investigation, he's in the Library now, but there seems to be an infection within the wards protecting our plane from the Underworld. I... I'm not sure what happened, we weren't prepared and now..."

Iliya cursed her grandfather mentally for knowing she wasn't conscious. No one needed his bitterness with the current state of things.

Still, she frowned at her mother and shook her head. "Okay, okay... So who... Who's here? Whose hurt?"

Destry blinked away her watery eyes and sighed. "Rhydian fractured his femur chasing down the Taqrias who escaped, he went missing during the attack, and... he'll live... Sorein's second, Jeremy is being treated for a multitude of injuries, quite honestly I'm surprised he's breathing..." she paused for a moment in thought, considering each word with care. "The Prince of Cefrias broke his arm, but he seems oddly chipper despite the fact... but it would take an hour to list the casualties."

Iliya fought back her emotions long enough to be confused. "Taqrias?"

"Corrupted souls," she amended. "The demons you saw were evil spirits trapped in the Underworld. I haven't seen one in quite some time..."

She could tell her mother was in shock, locked in her head with sadness and frustration. Iliya hated the sight of it almost as much as the injured. "And the others? The Guards? Where did–"

"Don't worry," Destry hushed her. "We took in everyone we could and transported anyone who didn't fit to the nearest medics."

Iliya nodded, mostly to herself until her chest tightened. "Wait, what about Qudja?"

Destry smiled sadly. "Miss Duskwind received care but refused to stay in the Infirmary. Instead, she volunteered herself to assist the Guard until more have recovered."

The casualties... The injuries.

She swallowed past the awful taste forming in her mouth.

Her mother sighed again and went to step around her. "Give your Cousin a hard time for me," she said by way of parting.

Iliya felt shaky and sick stepping into the room, her legs numb beneath her. Not once had she ever seen so much pain.

She stepped past one of the Castor's examining a man she didn't recognize and found her way to the second room, pausing when she saw Jeremy alone.

Detouring, she stepped up to his bed hesitantly. His eyes were half closed until he saw her, shifting in his bed. Jeremy was truly the portrait of broken, his body wrapped like a mummy and held in place.

"Hi..." she murmured. "You don't have to move, I'm sorry... I just wanted to see how you were doing."

Jeremy laughed, wincing at the movement. "You'd be the first."

Iliya's brows furrowed. "What are you talking about? Where's Sorein? Or Noah?"

He shrugged as much as he could and rolled his eyes. "Sulking, both of them," he answered. "Noah helped me get to the Infirmary after taking a chunk out of Sorein."

She blinked, head tilting slightly. "A chunk?"

Smirking, Jeremy glanced over at the door and then met her gaze intently. "No one told you?" he asked, his voice raspy. "I'm not surprised, no one is saying much of anything right now... People are either in shock or nursing the injured."

"Told me what?"

"When you blasted through Duskwind's shield and fried those things attacking us, her barrier broke. It nearly killed both of you."

Iliya thought her heart stopped for a moment, tears burning in her eyes once more. One even slipped from her hold, falling down her cheek as her teeth gnashed together.

Jeremy sighed, leaning back into the pillows. "Sorein risked his life to save you, both of you, but unfortunately that meant leaving me defenseless," he explained, speech slowing as the exhaustion crept in again. "It's bad conduct and he knows it, but I've never seen Noah tear into someone like that, least of all Sorein."

Another tear fell and Iliya bit her lip, trying not to lose composure. This was his pain, his life and Sorein abandoned him... for her.

"Don't worry so much," he coughed another labored laugh. "I survived. Just... Make sure those two don't kill each other while I'm here, okay?"

She nodded, unable to think of the right words. Her lips were wobbling with tension as she reached into the basket and pulled out one of the pastries she'd stolen from the kitchen. Gently, she set it down on the tiny stand beside him.

He smiled in response, nodding back.

"Get some rest," she whispered, praying they'd given him something strong to combat the pain. "I'll be back tomorrow."

He huffed one last chuckle. "You worry too much."

"Rest," she said again, firmer this time. "I'll check on you tomorrow."

"Yes, your highness," he sighed, fading into sleep.

Iliya grumbled under her breath, but accepted the formality as she turned and made her way to the final room in the back.

Standing in front of the doorway, the muscles in her back tightening and almost pulling her away, Iliya attempted to soothe herself. He was alive. She knew he was alive. The tears pooling beneath her eyelids knew he'd survived, despite their burning.

Still, those whispers of fear lapped at her consciousness like a weak current, nudging her gently over the edge.

Iliya forced herself into the room, eyes locking onto her cousin and a standing Nerydian male fidgeting with one of the plants in the corner of the room. He laughed at some remark Rhydian had made before his attention flashed to her.

She noticed the sling wrapped around his arm, her frown deepening. Sorein had mentioned Nixian to her a few times in passing, but her chest hurt with the circumstances of their first encounter.

Nixian appeared to understand, his playful demeanor shifting into a soft, reassuring smile. "Your highness," he said by way of greeting, dipping his head slightly.

Iliya bristled but chose to ignore it, certain she was going to have to get used to the formalities at some point anyway. Everyone in her life was so quick to use them. She tipped her head back in response before clearing her throat. "Prince," she replied, her voice catching.

Rhydian's gaze had shot between the two of them a few times before honing in on her. "Iliya, you're safe..." he breathed, his head dropping back against the pillows. "Gods, this cursed attack has made anyone with information useless, they wouldn't tell me where you were."

Her brows furrowed. "No one? They brought me to my rooms because of my minor injuries."

"That makes sense," Nixian mused. "You've been left alone since, I take it?"

She nodded. "I had to come find you on my own."

Rhydian grumbled under his breath and cast a glance to Nixian, nodding towards the door. The Prince of Cefrias obliged him, smiling once more before disappearing with a lasting flick of his tail.

Iliya drew close with her basket, setting it down on the floor beside him before sitting on his bed and staring vacantly at the floor.

Her cousin sighed beside her as she pressed her lips into a tight line, attempting to manage herself. "They said they couldn't find you during the attack..." she murmured, her voice shaking. "I thought..."

Rhydian watched her carefully, considering if she might crack as the Aphyre did. Instead of joking, his face remained solemn as he rested his bandaged hand on her thigh. "Few knew where I was and I apologize for that," he said softly. The warmth of his hand radiated through her leg. "There was little time for communication, several of the Taqrias had already slipped out onto Estate grounds, but that is no excuse for not managing a better line of contact. I've been told that my second didn't bother relaying the message to anyone and I plan to address that... As soon as I can stand."

"Okay," she answered, trembling. "I understand, I do, it's just..."

One tear ran down her cheek, then another.

"Hey," he spoke more quietly. "Come here."

Iliya forced herself to look at him, the way he slid over on the already small bed and reached out. She leaned into him and buried her face in his chest, crying. Her fingers curled into his shirt, gripping tightly.

"Everything is alright now," Rhydian whispered into her ear. "I'm not going anywhere."

Her sobbing only worsened, fear gripping her stomach. Chaotic, horrible thoughts ravaged her mind, influencing the current of terror hiding in her chest. This was not the end, she thought. No, this was the beginning.

Still, Rhydian held her, continuing to shoo away the creatures haunting her mind. He rubbed her back, holding space for her panic as no one else had ever done.

But one thought plagued her most.

Iliya knew if she looked deep enough, her family's secrets would pour out.

And for the first time, she knew without question she was one of them.