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~Cookie!~

Sanjana Thappar

I watched Varun's retreating figure as he headed to the boys' dormitory. A knot tightened in my chest. Instead of heading inside and warming myself, I walked to the middle of the garden between the dorm buildings and settled on one of the benches.

The chilled air nipped at my skin as I sat down, the cold wood seeping through the thin material of my leggings. It wasn't too late, and the muffled sounds of laughter, music and chatter echoed from the surrounding buildings.

Pulling the lapels of my jacket around myself, I tilted my head back against the bench. My eyes scanned the beautiful night sky. It was one of the clearer nights and I could see a lot of stars.

Occasionally a lone tear would escape the corner of my eye, tracing a cold path down my cheek. Lost in my

Lost in my thoughts, I barely registered the presence beside me at first. Without looking, I knew who it was. Just like that, the coldness around me began to dissipate.

A small and genuine smile tugged at my lips. I shifted my head from the bench to the slope of my brother's shoulder. I curled my fingers around the soft fabric of his sweater and shifted closer to him.

"She looks extra beautiful tonight, no?" he murmured, as we both gazed up at the star-studded sky.

I nodded, a lump forming in my throat. "So beautiful," I managed to reply, my voice thick with emotion. Suddenly, I was transported back to that fateful day, after we celebrated our eleventh birthday.

The day had begun like any other morning. Saksham and I were arguing about whose presents were better while our parents were chatting over their coffee and breakfast. As we were leaving for school, our mother promised to take us to the mall in the evening.

I remembered the moment with crystal clarity – it was third period, science class. The teacher gave us a sympathetic look as she asked us to pack our bags and leave for the day. My twin and I clasped hands tightly as we walked to our car. Our driver drove us to the hospital without a word. The car ride was completely silent only broken by our muffled sobs.

The wide hospital corridors felt stifling as we walked through them. Dadu and Dad were seated outside the room– Dad bent over, his face in his hands, while Dadu patting him gently on the back. Noticing our presence, Dadu rose and pulled us into an embrace. But Dad... he remained too wrapped in his own grief, his gaze fixed on some distant point, barely acknowledging our presence.

Nothing could have prepared us for the sight that awaited us in that hospital room. The woman on the bed wasn't our mother. Tubes and wires were attached to parts of her body, her chest rising and falling with labored breaths.

Saksham let go of hand and stepped closer to her. "Mom," he croaked.

Mom's eyes fluttered open, clouded with pain and sadness. For a moment, there was no recognition in her gaze. "Mom," Saksham repeated, his voice cracking.

This time, a small smile grazed her lips, and she beckoned us closer with a frail hand. Saksham rushed to her side, but I remained rooted to the spot. I buried my face in Dadu's embrace, my body shaking with my sobs. Dadu physically coaxed me towards Mom's beside.

She slowly removed the oxygen mask, so she could speak. Her lips were pale and chipped. As she held our hands, I shuddered at how frail it felt. Tears flowed down her sunken cheeks as she struggled to speak. "The doctor said..." Her body was wrecked with tears before she took a deep breath and continued, "That it's time for me to go and meet God."

Saksham and I exchanged a panicked glance before bursting into tears. Incoherent stream of pleas and promises tumbled out as we tried to process the news. Our mother has tried to prepare us for this day, but it felt different. Very different. We begged her not to leave us, promised to be good children and never trouble her, telling her not to meet God. Mom cried with us, her tears a mixture of sorrow for the life she was leaving and the motherless future that awaited her children.

With trembling hands, she caressed our tear-stained faces. "Remember," she whispered, her voice barely audible over the steady beep of machines, "Even if you can't see or hear me, I'll always be here, watching over you from the sky."

"Like a star?" Saksham asked, his voice small.

She nodded, her original spark lighting up her eyes.

"But there are so many stars in the sky," I said, wiping away my tears with the back of my hand. "How will we know which one is you?"

A radiant smile, despite her weakness, spread across her face. "I will obviously be the brightest and most beautiful star."

Over the years, Saksham and I have definitely argued a lot about which star is our mother. Our debates were usually childish squabbles over which star was the "brightest" or the "most mom-like." We even tried to name a star after her through an online website, but we could never agree on which star was our mom and also the fact that the website could be a potential online scam. Eventually we gave up on our frivolous fights and took solace in the fact that our mother was really there watching over us just like she promised.

"What are you still doing here?" I asked, raising my head to face him. It was already 8:30. "Aren't your friends waiting for you to feed them?"

Saksham's hand went to the top of his brow, scratching nervously. It was a tell he'd had since childhood. I knew he was about to drop some unpleasent news. "Promise me you won't overreact."

My stomach tightened as I thought about all the pessimistic possibilities. "What's going on? Is it Dadu? Dad? You?"

"You're overreacting," he pointed out, running his hand through his hair. "It's nothing that extreme. It's just that Tara and I have been having some troubles with drama practice."

Curiosity replaced my initial panic. "What kind of trouble?"

"We're doing fine in our individual scenes and scenes with other characters," he explained with a heavy sigh, "But we're struggling in the scenes where it's just us."

I scowled, unsure where this was going but already disliking the direction.

"So Medha Ma'am suggested that we spend some time together to build some organic chemistry. She asked us to pick two activities each that we enjoy doing and do them together. I was here to pick her up so she can accompany me for the feeding rounds," he finished in one breath.

"That's stupid," I said, standing to face my twin, hands planted firmly on my waist. "Actors work together all the time and they don't need to spend time together." I emphasized, shaking my head.

Saksham rolled his eyes. "This is exactly why I wasn't going to tell you and I also told Tara not to tell you because you overreact to everything," he said, exasperation dripping in his voice and body language. "And just so you know, this is all your fault."

"My fault?" I repeated, incredulously.

"Yes," he snapped.

I scoffed and shook my head. "How exactly is the lack of chemistry between you two my fault?"

"Because I'm sure you gave her the whole 'stay away from each other' talk just like you did with me," he accused. "And because of that, she acts so odd in my presence. Sure, we weren't friends or anything in the past, but we still hung out. She shouldn't be this weird in my company."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "So what if I did. Is it bad that I want to protect my brother?"

"Protect me from Tara?" Saksham asked, rolling his eyes again. His voice softened slightly, tinged with confusion. "Have you seen her? I don't know what happened between the two of you, but this Tara seems like a shell of the girl we both knew. She has changed so much."

"We all have," I said, shrugging, trying to appear nonchalant even as I felt a twinge of guilt. I had nothing to feel guilty about. The only reason our friendship was in this state was because of her. "It's called growing up. Also, quite frankly, I don't see how it's my problem." A sudden thought crept into my mind, and I narrowed my eyes. "And... wait, is she telling you these things? Trying to instigate you against me?"

Saksham stared at me in disbelief. "No, she doesn't talk to me about anything personal at all," he said, searching my face for something. "And is that what you think of her? Of Tara?" He scoffed. "You almost got yourself expelled from school because you vandalized the lockers of the boys who teased Tara. What did she do that your feelings towards her have changed so much?"

Movement behind us interrupted what I was going to say next.

Tara shuffled closer, her hands tucked into the pockets of her hoodie. Her gaze flickered between us before offering us a small hesitant smile. "Hi," she murmured.

My brother straightened, his demeanor shifting subtly. "Hey, Tara," he said, with a smile. I rolled my eyes at the charming persona he seemingly put on for any female in his vicinity. "You ready to go?"

Her eyes flicked to mine, as if seeking permission.

Before I could react, Saksham let out an exasperated sigh. "Look," he said, addressing both of us now. "I don't care about whatever arguments or issues you two have. It was a long time ago and we were all teenagers, but now we are all adults and we should act like it." He shook his head. "If you can't put your differences aside, then I ask both of you to leave me out of it."

"No one is asking you to get involved," I snapped.

"Good," he said, with a curt. He looked at Tara. "This is an important play for me, if you aren't all in then go to Medha Ma'am and quit so you don't end up ruining mine and all the other casts' performance and experience with this play. It's better you do it yourself before we are all forced to do it on your behalf."

I scowled. He was fighting on her behalf moments ago, but now he was being all rude. Slapping his arm, I glared at him.

"What?" he asked, with a casual lift of his shoulder. "So, Tara, are you in or out?"

She looked in my direction, but I quickly looked away. I wanted no part in her decision process. If she wanted to do the play, then let her.

"I'm in," she finally murmured.

"Then let's go," he said to Tara. "We're already late." Then looked at me, "If you want, you can come too."

"Okay," I said, rolling my shoulders back as the duo looked expectantly at me. I walked ahead of them. "And just so you know, I'm not going to do anything."

—

Folding my arms over my chest, I leaned against the street light and watched Saksham feed some stray dogs. We had stopped on three streets already. He said this was the last stop before we could go back.

The occasional breeze made me shiver. When I complained about it, my brother said it was because I was just standing there instead of helping them.

Yeah, no, thanks. Animals weren't my thing. Sure, they were cute to look at, and I liked having pictures of them as my wallpapers, but I didn't want to be in their vicinity. However, my twin seemed to love them. Far too much. If he had his way, he would bring any animal he found home. My Dad and I didn't have too much in common, but this was one of the things we agreed upon which was why our house hadn't turned into an animal shelter.

Thankfully, the animals were too focused on their food to be interested in me. Tara, on the other hand, stood by Saksham looking lost and nervous. Anytime a dog brushed against her leg, she would move toward Saksham out of fear, but then, realizing my presence, she would move away.

I watched as Saksham leaned in close to Tara, speaking softly. She nodded, then turned and walked towards me. I straightened my back as she approached.

"Saksham asked me to bring the sweaters," Tara mumbled, reaching for the boxes we had brought with us.

"Okay," I said curtly, rubbing my hands together, trying to ward off the chill. The only thing thicker than the fog that surrounded us was the awkwardness between us.

As Tara helped Saksham put sweaters on a few dogs, I found myself thinking back to Saksham's words from earlier. Maybe I was being too harsh. Maybe-

Suddenly, a dog ran in my direction. Panic coursed through my veins, and before I knew it, I was screaming at the top of my lungs and running.

"Stop running, you idiot!" Saksham yelled, his voice a mix of concern and amusement. Glad he was having fun at my expense.

If I wasn't busy trying to save my life, I would have kicked him and pulled his hair for good measure. I continued to run around, screaming and shouting. Other dogs joined the party, thinking it was a game. My foot caught on an uneven part of the pavement, and I fell hard on the ground, scurrying away on all fours.

It wasn't until Saksham managed to move all the dogs away from me that I stopped screaming. Tara rushed to my side and helped me up. She seemed hesitant at first, but then just decided to help me.

"Are you okay?" she asked, rubbing my arm, gently.

I nodded, still shaken up by the whole incident.

"You're the biggest idiot I know," he declared, chuckling. "Why would you run?"

"Saksham," Tara said, shaking her head.

"I... just..." I stammered, my cheeks burning with embarrassment. "It just ran at me so suddenly that it startled me. And it also looked so menacing."

"Menacing?" Saksham gasped, his eyes widening in disbelief. "You take that back right now!"

"Yeah, right," I scoffed. "That thing is freaking menacing. For a little thing, it sure runs fast."

Saksham's eyes narrowed, an evil grin appearing on his face. "Cookie, come here," he said, clicking his tongue to beckon the dog who had chased me first.

Tara and I instinctively latched onto each other's hands as the dog ran towards us. The warmth of her palm against mine was oddly comforting.

"Just look at this face," Saksham said, crouching to the ground and holding the dog's face for us to see. The dog 'smiled', showing its teeth, which to me looked more like fangs. "You're too cute. So so cute. Don't listen to her, Cookie. Just because she's ugly, she thinks everyone's ugly. You're totally adorable."

I rolled my eyes. Wasn't he the one telling me behave like an adult an hour ago?

"Whatever, can we go now?" I asked, hopping from one foot to the other.

Saksham stood, brushing off the sleeves of his jacket. "Yeah... let's go." He had barely finished the sentence when the 'adorable' Cookie, who had been circling him, lifted its leg. Before any of us could react, a stream of urine hit Saksham's precious sneakers.

"Cookie, no!" Saksham shouted. He tried to move away, but it was already too late.

Tara and I exchanged a glance before we faced Saksham. Then, as if on cue, we both burst out laughing.

"Seriously?" Saksham asked, shaking his head as we bent over in laughter.

"I'm sorry," Tara gasped between laughs, her eyes tearing up. "It's just... your face... Oh god, I can't breathe..."

I struggled to catch my breath, clutching my stomach. "Well," I managed to say. "Looks like you've been marked as his territory."

Tara wiped tears from her eyes, her laugh now short giggles. "He has the same expressions as he did when that monkey slapped him during our trek."

"Oh my God! My stomach hurts," I said as the memory of the incident flooded my mind. Dadu had arranged a trekking trip to Uttarakhand for our summer vacation and I had dragged Tara along. "How could I forget? He tried to show off by saying he could get the monkey to follow his orders. He said..."

"Animals just talk to me," Tara and I finished in unison, mimicking Saksham.

"So what? To gang up on me, you both are friends again?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Tara's smile turned hopeful, her eyes seeking mine, but I felt my own smile fade. The brief moment was gone.

"Let's go," I said, fully aware how cold my voice sounded. "I'm tired, and I have to wake up early tomorrow."

I started walking ahead, wrapping my arms around myself. As we made our way back to the campus, I couldn't help but notice that the night didn't seem as cold or lonely anymore.