Hi lovelies, I'm so sorry for the long wait, I was extremely busy. This chapter wasn't supposed to come out like this. It's way darker than what I had planned. But some shit happened and I lost two friends just in the last 6 months, one was a close friend whom I knew irl, it was an accident but it hit me pretty badly and I had to take some time off. But then today actually, another friend passed away, but they committed. I had...well  pretty much a mental break down. And I'm not joking when I say that, I'm only still here and made it through to tomorrow, thanks to my soulmate. So this chapter is in her name, she will know what I mean, everyone else though, just enjoy. Please don't forget to vote and comment.

Love you all lovelies ❤️

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TW// suicide thoughts, panic/anxiety attack, distribution of stabilizing medication!!!!

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It wasn't a while until Chan woke up. He opened his eyes to his dark cold room.  His head was pounding. He let out a sigh but his mind quickly went elsewhere when he heard commotion downstairs. He looked at his phone. 11:45pm. He had slept all day. He knew the others were waiting for him, Changbin probably had already finished with the song and everything. He had to get up, he didn't feel all that refreshed but he felt better than he did earlier, that was as good as it was gonna get, so he got up and went downstairs.

There he saw Changbin carrying out food from Chan's favorite restaurant. Sometimes it worried him just how much the three knew him. Like knowing what time he would wake up after staying awake for so many days. No one even bothered in acknowledging him when he sat down to eat his dinner with them. They just knew.

Changbin placed Chan's food down first and gave him chopsticks. He looked at his Hyung and sighed.

"You didn't get enough rest." Was what was said.

Chan just nodded. He knew. His sleep was disturbed by many memories, as well as dreams and nightmares alike. He shrugged but no one on the table was having it.

"After this go to sleep." They all said sternly.

Chan just nodded again. Unable to search for the will to fight or correct them about respecting him as the oldest. He decided to get up to sit on the couch. Passively looking at the black door next to the TV past the living room, right down the hall. His heart shrunk a bit more. Fatigue building up. Though Chris didn't know what kind of fatigue. He just hoped it was the kind that would help him sleep through the night. But it never was.

"Did y'all stay here all day?" He asked groggily. He turned to Seungmin as his  dongsaeng gave him a nod and continued eating his noodles. "We were busy." Changbin said.

"Well I was busy." He clarified as he smirked, sitting down more comfortably on his chair.

"I was busy too, you know." Seungmin complained. Innie just nodded. Chan, very used to the situation happening around him, just continued watching whatever the fuck was on.

"So, apparently Jisung-ssi and the girls are flying out tomorrow."

Huh?

"What do you mean?" Chan asked, setting his bowl down on the coffee table.

"That Jisung-ssi and the girls are-"

"I fucking heard you."

"Well then why the fuck ask?"

"I'm asking you why the fuck they're flying out!" Chan raised his voice. Angry. He was angry. Not just now. Always. That was why no one even blinked. They understood Chan. To the best of their abilities. But mostly pitied him. For the life he had been forced to live.

"Because, Jisung wanted to speak with the team about what to do going forward." I.N said calmly.

Seungmin silently watched, while drinking his juice. While Changbin set his food down in case his Hyung got too angry. Reaching in the side pocket of his chair. Stabilizer ready.

"W-what?"

"The girls Hyung. Everyone knows who the girls are now, as well as who their parents are." Right. They know.

Everyone knows. Chan faltered. His eyes dropping as he leans back into the couch. Changbin goes up to him and made him sit up to face him. Seungmin took the stabilizer and set it so that it was easier in case he had to use it.

"I-I can't." Chan said.

His voice was low. His pheromones suddenly burst out again. Not enough as last time. But enough for Changbin to use his own to calm him down. It wasn't working though. Chan was soon shaking and twitching as he held his face in his hands and cried. Rocking himself. He felt Binnies warmth. Hugging him. Telling him pretty words. Words he didn't deserve to hear. Because Chan felt like a monster.

I ruined her life.

I ruined her life.

I ruined their lives!

I'm so horrible.

I cant. I cant. I just can't anymore!

Jisung? Jiji? I cant anymore, baby.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm so horrible.

That's why you left.

That's why you did what you did.

That's why you tore yourself apart!

I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry Hannie. I'm sorry.

"Hyung!"

I should've died. They should've let me go!

"Hyung! Open your eyes!"

I don't wanna be here anymore!

They keep leaving me!

Don't leave me!

"Channie Hyung! I'm right here! We're here!"

No. You aren't! Liars!

Where's Jiji? Aurora? Audrey?

I want my family.

I want my family.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Just let me go..

I can't live without my family..

Bang Chan was hyperventilating. The trio surrounded him in seconds. Tears in their eyes as they witnessed their precious Hyung go through another breakdown.

Seungmin pushed the stabilizer in quickly. Soon, Chan fell asleep. Cradled by Changbin and I.N, mumbling about the family he missed so much. They were all crying.

Wiping the tears falling down his face, Seungmin got up and opened one of the balcony doors. He heard the nightlife surrounding them. He calmed down. He wasn't good if he wasn't strong for his Hyung at this moment.

His Hyung's sniffles were heard for minutes. Until Binnie got up and went to the black door. Opening it he placed Chan on the black bed with Innies help, right on Audrey's supposed bed. The alpha quickly calmed down. Feeling secure in the current space he was in. The trio watched him as he slept. Holding the pillow. With the picture on it. Seungmin had forgotten to put it back. The picture of their Hyung with a 2 year old black haired little girl.

They stayed there. In silence. Wide awake in case something were to happen. They could sleep whenever, just not right now. Not because Chan needed them at this moment, no. It was because they needed Chan. Not the rapper, idol, superstar Chan, but the Channie who had the biggest dimple smile and was goofy and silly. Channie, who gave Innie fox shaped cookies every year on his birthday. Their precious Hyung who taught them what life should be, as he went on and on about his kids and mate. The trio loved and lived so much more of their life through their Hyung. So all they wanted was for him to be so unconditionally him . Because all their Hyung was right now. Was broken. And that's not the real Chan.

-

5:03am

Seungmin was silently sleeping on I.N's shoulder as he watched Chan sleep peacefully on his daughter's bed. At that time I.N came to a decision. He wouldn't let those people meet Chan. Not anytime soon. Not this Chan.

No, he would only let them see him when he was at his best. They don't have the right to see him like this ever. They can't know the true power that they have over him.

As he looked towards Changbin, he knew he wasn't the only one thinking it, they were in agreement.

-

5:05am

London, UK, Han Residency

Jisung wasn't sleeping. He wasn't sure he could. He was nervous. He would be in the same country, state, and city as him . Channies smile fastily crossed his mind. He frowned. Would we even meet him? Jiji wondered. He quickly erased the thought since he felt like it didn't matter.

'I will forever love all of you Jiji.'

Jisung sighed. This was a really bad idea. All of it.

Getting up finally and looking through his suitcase one last time to make sure he got everything before closing it and moving it into the living room. He checked in the girls and smiled softly.

He packed the rest of their stuff, careful to not wake them. Moving everything and finally sitting down and looking at the sky outside his window. He drifted for many moments until his mind finally landed.

The song.

He forgot all about it. Focusing on the fact that the girl's life was to be different he didn't even realize why . What was the song about? Why did everyone freak about it? Jinnie and Lix didn't seem to have listened to it yet. Jisung was curious.

He quickly got his phone and searched for it.

Search: Bang Christopher Chan new song

All: Worldwide sensation Bang Christopher Chan's new song Mockingbird shocks the industry as new revelations come out of it.

Jisung looked at the article. Suddenly worried. He never listened to Chan's music. Not after everything. He closed his phone. He was scared, too scared. He had always been scared.

'I'm a horrible person.' Jisung thought.

-

7:15am

Breakfast was ready. Jisung listened quietly as he heard the shuffling sounds of his daughters. Good mornings ringing throughout the house.

The two were eating quietly, still waking up from their sleep. Jisung drank another cup of americano. Suddenly security came in. But before he could say anything, notifications came rushing in through his phone, he unlocked it and went to his messages.

Ferret: Open the door, bitch.

Jisung frowned, confused.

Ferret: I know you can hear me knocking. Do you want me to start banging? Or moaning? Mrs. Lee from down the hall wouldn't appreciate that Jiji you know her husband has low blood sugar.

Jisung scrambled. Rushing past security. The girls looked at him weirdly but didn't bother. 

"My god! You take forever!" A loud voice rang through the apartment. Jisung thought he heard low groans coming from the kitchen.

"Hello to you too?" He replied as he walked back into his kitchen. Sitting back down as the girls have low waves to their uncle who bombarded their breakfast.

"You know there's extra? So you can stop stealing from little kids you ferret." Hannie said.

The ferret in question rolled his eyes.

"What are you doing here Jinnie-oppa?" Aurora asked sweetly as she drank her orange juice. Hyunjin seemed to love what she said since he released pleasant scented pheromones. Audrey seemed disgusted though since she downed her banana milk and ran next to Jisung, scenting him.

"Oh my god, you're so dramatic!"

"You smell!"

Jisung laughed. Audrey was always very sensitive to smells. Aurora was too but much less than Audrey.

"Anyway! I'm here to go on a trip!" He said excitedly. Aurora looked at him weird as he took another piece of her bacon.

"Where?" Jisung asked.

"South Korea!" He said sweetly.

"Why are you going to Korea?" Audrey asked suddenly.

The distaste flying out her mouth, not even discreetly.

Jinnie didn't seem to mind since he ignored her.

"South Korea?"

"Yes Sun, you know the nightlife there is amazing! Lixie should be arriving soon."

Huh?

-

Well he wasn't joking. About half an hour later they were greeted by an ecstatic Felix and an uncomfortable Lino who seemed relieved he could rest without Felix rambling on about his new found trip to Seoul.

Jisung knew Lino would be coming with them - not like he had a say in the matter. The other two though, that was a surprise, but it definitely brought him relief. The pair always brought life and excitement into the group. Which they will probably be in much need of.

"So, what hotel are we staying in?!" Hyunjin asked excitedly.

"We're not." Lee know panned out. Jiji looked at him confused.

He sighed. "It turns out he had bought a condo for the girls to stay in. Well, more like he owns the whole building and made sure that a specific apartment is reserved for the girls. His manager said we could stay there."

A beat of silence passed. Shortly after Felix asked the question that was in everyone's mind.

"Wouldn't we be right next to him?"

Lino shook his head.

"He lives on the top floor. We're staying a couple floors down. His manager reassured me we wouldn't see him." He said turning to smile at Jisung. But for some reason that wasn't reassuring at all.

"Damn, money~" Felix said as his mate grabbed the kitchen chair and for some ungodly reason, started to dance on top of it. The poor chair.

-

12:30pm KST
London Airport, London.

The trip to the airport was fast. Dividing into two separate cars and meeting there. Hyunjin seemed to be clinging onto Aurora which was kind of new but the pair seemed to hit it off so Jisung wasn't worried. Not that they weren't close but Aurora wasn't someone who played around as often as Audrey did.

"What area are we?" Audrey asked. "We're first class." Her Uncle Lino answered. She nodded dazed. It's been years since she had flown anywhere.

Everyone was sitting. Jisung and Audrey together since she was quite protective of him. Lino and Lix. Jinnie and Aurora. The first class pods were divided into pairs. Since everyone was comfortable with each other they decided to share a pod together. Jisung and Audrey watched movies. Lino and Lix fought and bickered with hints of laughter, but Jisung couldn't hear as far as Hyunjin and Aurora. So he got up and went to check on her, he always was the worried-wart-mom. The pair were silent on their phones. When he got up he saw them showing their phones to each other and laughing. Must be TikTok again.

Jisung went to hug Aurora and wished her a safe trip, as well as Jinnie - and to go to him if she needed anything. Kissing her and senting her, he later on walked back to his cabin with Audrey.

"You really love your mom." Hyunjin said.

Aurora looked at him confused. Of course she did.

"Hmm?"

"You really love Jisung. It's a fact not a question, princess." He chuckled.

The young omega smiled softly.

"Do you ever wonder?" He whispered. "Wonder what?"

"Your father?" Hyunjin answered. Aurora paused. Looking down she pressed her hands together. Hyunjin held them as a way to calm her down. "It's okay, sweetheart. It wasn't a serious question. I was just curious. We all know how Audrey feels, but what about you?"

Aurora nodded. Suddenly feeling relieved after hearing the intent behind her uncle's question.

"He's not my dad. He's my uncle." She said. Hyunjin nodded.

"You don't consider him your dad?" Aurora shook her head.

"But you call Jisung your mom?" The girl shrugged.

"I never talked with Uncle Chan about it.." She whispered.

She wished she could call him her father. She loved her uncle. More than anything, but after losing everything Aurora stayed where she knew that she would never have to lose anything ever again.

"Do you want him to be? Your father I mean." Hyunjin asked. Aurora nodded looking at him, she liked like that's all she ever wanted. Her uncle looked at her sorrowfully. His questions were answered. He sighed and pulled her close. "I'm sure he loved you baby." He whispered as the young girl nodded her head.

'Maybe' she thought, 'but I left him.'

Aurora loved her uncle. Uncle Chan was her source of happiness. Her biological parents' faces were no longer salvageable in her mind, but Uncle Chan's face was as clear as day. The happy memories she had of him and her. She held them dearly.

"You know.. have you heard any of his music?" He asked.

They let each other go.

"No."

"Hmm." He said. Piquing his niece's interest.

"C-can I?" She asked unsure.

Of course Aurora wanted to. She remembered the days and nights she would play with Uncle Chan in a studio. Mess up his papers as he gave her a sweet smile and told her it was all going to be okay.

"Aurora, no one is stopping you." Hyunjin said. He gave her an iPod and saw songs on it. Bang Chan was all typed in under the artist's name. She felt like she was betraying her sister, but Uncle Chan was her family. Of course she never doubted Audrey but...that was her uncle Channie.

"W-what song should I play?" She asked.

Hyunjin looked away from his movie and smiled.

"He just released a new song actually."

"Can I listen?" The beta nodded his head.

"Yes, it's called Mockingbird. Listen."

And she pressed play.

There it is! Hope you all liked it 😊 Short and not sweet at all 😩👏🏻

Please don't forget to vote and share this book!

Love you all ❤️❤️

Bye bye 👋🏻