The day of the ball I dressed up before going to Clive's room, and I helped him tie his cravat and straighten his inner vest and cuffs. He swirled in it and laughed freely.

"Don't do that, it's going to rip," I said. I had lent him my old one so I feared it was too smaller but suited him fine. Maybe I had grown more than him.

Clive was fine-boned, and his shoulders were smaller than me. Sometimes if I grabbed him roughly on the shoulder I felt him bone and flinched back.

It felt like I could've broke him.

"It's just—I look like an adult!" Clive laughed. "It's so fancy."

"It's also very expensive so be careful."

"I wouldn't break anything, it fits me comfortably," he went on as he followed me. "Don't you need to enter with your brothers?" he asked.

"No, they're already there and greeting them one by one, and we have to go now. Jonathan is strict about things like this," I sighed.

We both went to the ballroom and I was surprised for a while because it seemed much livelier with candles and food. Our cooks had worked hard and I wanted to sit down and have some finger sandwiches but I saw Jonathan catch my eye.

"Let's go," I told Clive.

"Are you sure I should intrude?"

"Yes," I groaned. "Stay by my side today!"

I walked there and Jonathan pretended he was happy and pulled me to the girls, Jonathan following.

"This is Nathaniel Edgar Rottings. He takes just after father and I, and the golden-haired boy is Clive, his partner in Graycotts. Oh yes, I forgot to mention, all three of us are attending Graycotts. It makes our father very proud, of course..."

I recognized Heloise Leon. Her eyes were somewhat wide in shock. The other younger girl, Carmine Wordsworth, was smiling at us and her older sister gave her a gentle push before she wandered to us.

The older women stayed behind to talk to Jonathan and they were all similar yet different. Some dressed in conservative dresses covering their collarbones, others showed their bosom line, and other looked weighed down by their obviously costly accessories.

Carmine was only fourteen so she didn't seem to know what to say.

"Are you Carmine Wordsworth?" Clive broke the silence, pretending he was deep in thought.

"Oh, yes, I am! You are—?"

"Clive," he responded. "It's my first time at a ball outside of academy. You should teach me etiquette."

Carmine chuckled softly.

I was envious of her, petite and black curls around her face and pinned back with a pretty comb. She reminded me of a poodle with her tight curls and thin limbs. Her arm reach out for a dessert and she handed Clive one, too.

"You're watching them a lot." Heloise stood behind me. I turned to her.

"No, I was just surprised."

"At what? Don't you remember me?" she asked.

"Of course I do, we met at the flower ball in Graycotts. You were in mourning," I mumbled.

"Very good memory."

Heloise wore a green dress, one part falling to show her shoulders, on purpose I suppose. It was very pretty and sleek as I remembered her.

"So?" She narrowed her eyes at me. "Do you have a girl you made a promise with?"

"Promise? What?" I was confused. I didn't know any girl, as lame as it sounded, other than Heloise.

"Your ears are pierced," she said, sulkily.

I touched my right ear and laughed at forgetting. Oh, so that's why she was watching me so intently beforehand!

"No, I have no girl," I honestly answered.

"Then was it a dare?" Heloise asked, face brightening up.

"Yes, sort of," I replied.

"I like that shade of green, too. My dress is that shade."

"It looks very pretty on you," I said, absentmindedly. Clive was doing his part so we might as well both perfect our masks.

"Thank you." Heloise had her hair down and held back with an accessory like a silver crown today as Goldenvale's newest trend.

Her lips were colored with a magenta red too, as dark as it was for older women. She had tried really hard for me, and it somehow made me feel like a villain. I had lied to her, hadn't I?

Heloise gestured for me to go to a different place and I followed, feeling embarrassed. I bet Jonathan and Daniel were watching me. We sat down at one of the tables and each took some sandwiches.

"I'm having fun recently," Heloise said in between bites. "I met some other families but my mother really went all out for the Rottings Ball."

"It took some time to decorate but it was winter, but I guess what really mattered is we got it to look decent."

"You don't like the decorations?" Heloise giggled. "I actually like the winter wreaths better than the room of dead flowers. It feels like a cozy event, like how we are catching up."

"We are?" I asked.

"Don't be a tease," she joked, and I no longer felt like I saw Clive in her. Or maybe she was the girl who had my better impression of Clive.

I smiled and suddenly leaned forward. I brushed a crumb off her face and she seemed stunned before averting eye contact.

"Thank you. My mother would be mad at how much I embarrassed myself..."

"But your mother isn't here," I said.

"You don't understand, it's embarrassing for me, too!" She finished the rest of her sandwich before speaking. "So, are there no other girls your age?"

"Father left all of us to choose girls from our Graycotts days but this ball is mainly for Jonathan and Daniel." I pointed secretly. "See? Jonathan is sorting through them all with quick conversations. He rotates back to those he likes."

"Who do you think he likes?" she asked.

"Right now it's definitely the Sargent sister. She seems to be witty as Jonathan smirks so much. The next one is the Wordsworth sister, she's pleasant in looks and seems agreeable with how much she nods, and speaks after it so we know she's listening to him. Maybe also that girl, I forgot her surname but she's a bit too carefree."

"Why?" Heloise asked in confusion. "She doesn't seem carefree in my eyes."

"Well, she's dancing, she must not be taught proper etiquette or ignored it, but Jonathan does seem amused. Maybe she's actually his favorite."

The pianist we hired began changing the music to a waltz. We all stood up on cue and watched as she danced with Jonathan.

I saw the Sargent girl walk close as though waiting in line.

"Oh I know!" Heloise whispered into my ear. "She's the other Sargent sister! They have the same type of dress and matching hair pins!"

I noted she was right, the first Sargent sister folded her hands across her abdomen and had a straight back and titled chin. She was rather beautiful but her hair was gathered back in an older trend. Her dress covered a lot as opposed to her sister's also sapphire blue dress.

The other sister held Jonathan's hand and swayed and skipped as she dressed, her dark brown hair falling loosely around her face as she danced and grinned up at Jonathan, as she was shorter.

"I think this Sargent sister makes him smile more," Heloise whispered again, softly.

I looked towards Clive, but he was whispering to Carmine like Heloise did to me. It felt cruel—like he was cheating on me.

No, I was not devoted to our relationship. It wouldn't make sense, anyway. I was going to marry a girl one day.

I turned back to see Jonathan laughing heartily like in the old days. He reached out for the second Sargent sister and they danced, the sister better was dancing but lacking the passion.

Although it was none of my concern, I wondered which one Jonathan truly liked.

I turned to see Clive turn to me and I reflectively turned to Heloise.

She seemed different from the flower ball and shyly broke eye contact.

"Is there something on my face again?" she asked.

"Come," I said, holding her hand. "Come and dance with me."

Heloise held my hands, soft hands that didn't know of playing and holding swords or rapiers. Her perfume smelled floral and citrusy and I wanted to lean in closer, but everyone was watching us next to Jonathan and the Sargent sister.

We danced, and Heloise laughed out loud, before squealing softly as I pulled her in during a part.

"You are very good at dancing," she said as she returned to waltzing along. The pianist was playing something romantic and I had to force my eyes to not glance at Clive.

I looked at Heloise's eyes, brown and dark, and her light freckles, slim nose, and plumper lips. She smile and her eyes were full of warmth.

She was nothing like Clive.