Y/N's No-Star Apartment

4:30am

Y/N was peacefully sleeping in his bed, happily dreaming. He wore a white long sleeve shirt and his favorite pajama pants.

(Y/N): *drools* mmmmm~ and bacon strips, and bacon strips... What? More bacon!? oh my~

Seconds later, Y/N's door bursted open and Mako rushed through Y/N's home.

Mako: Y/N!!!!!! WAKE UP!

(Y/N): *Screams in shock*

Mako: WE'RE GONNA BE LATE!!!!! LET'S GO!!!!!

(Y/N): *Screams in fear*

Y/N, unable to change out of his pajamas, was pulled out of his apartments at the usual Mako pace. And eventually ran into Ryuko, who was also in her pajamas. The three of them jumped into the mass migration of students and started their trek somewhere. Ryuko got a look at Y/N's pajamas.

Ryuko: *giggles* Rubber ducks? Really?

(Y/N): Rubber ducks are the greatest thing ever created, and you don't have room to talk miss "Bunny-Rabbit".

Ryuko: *blushes* These were the only pajamas that Mako had!

(Y/N): Rubber ducks are better anyway.

Ryuko: You're an idiot. So, what's with this mass migration?

Mako: There is a day when all of Honnouji Academy's No-Stars put their entire youth on the line when they go to school. That day has dawned! Today is that day! This is No-Late Day!

(Y/N): "No-Late Day"? What is that?

As if waiting for that moment, a huge vehicle bursted through the walls, on top was Ira Gamagoori.

Gamagoori: I can see that you are confused, transfer students!

Ryuko: You're that jerk-

Gamagoori: Disciplinary Committee Chair and one of Honnouji Academy's Elite Four Ira Gamagoori!

IRA GAMAGOORI

(Y/N): Those letters are blocking his face.

Gamagoori: Allow me to explain! No-Late Day is a school event that comes once a semester, in which the Academy surprises slacker No-Star to whip them into shape! When the siren goes off in a few moments, No-Star students must evade traps and make it to school by the time first period bell rings at 8:30am! If they are late they are expelled on the spot! so-

Gamagoori: WHAT THE HELL!? What manner of slacker outfits are those!?

(Y/N): I was sleeping not 5 minutes ago. I was having a good dream too...

Ryuko: My Kamui's in the laundry! It'll be dropped off soon!

Gamagoori: Spare me your excuses. Leaving for school in slovenly outfits like that is a mortal insult to both the academy and Lady Satsuki!

Mako: Is it, though?

Mako had magically appeared next to Gamagoori.

Mako: They were asleep until just now! It's perfectly normal for sleeping people to wear pajamas! OR do you mean to say that you dress like that when YOU sleep, Gamagoori?

Gamagoori: No, I sleep in the nude.

(Y/N): Wow. Really?

Mako: You'll catch a cold if you sleep in the buff! If you were sick, could you work to your fullest potential in an emergency?

Gamagoori: Oh.

Mako: Please wear pajamas like everyone else when you sleep!

Gamagoori: What is your name?

Mako: Second Year Class K, Mako Mankanshoku. The pattern on my favorite pajamas is one Mt. Fuji, two hawks, and three eggplants!

Gamagoori: Mankanshoku, you say? I'll remember that. Matoi! (L/N)! I could care less as to what you're wearing. But Matoi, do you think you can reach the school without your Kamui?

Gamagoori pushed a button and a huge obstacle course, filled with traps, sprung up from the ground.

Gamagoori: Behold! Honnouji Academy's great barrier!

Mako: Wow it's like the whole city turned into an amusement park-!

(Y/N): ... I hate this place so much.

Mako: Oh no! We only have three hours to get to class!

Ryuko: The students of this place sure do like to hear themselves talk. I'm gonna bust through all the traps you bozos made, easy!

Gamagoori: So be it! FORWARD MARCH!

Everyone started to run up the stairs at full speed, but halfway up the stairs collapsed into a slide sending everyone back to the bottom, save for Ryuko, Y/N, and Mako. When they hit the first checkpoint Gamagori told them that use of the No-Star tram was prohibited.

Mako: There's another 999 of these to go! That's more than usual

(Y/N): This is normal!?

Ryuko: He's screwing with us, let's go!

As she turned around, Ryuko bumped in a girl who fell down with as much bombast as possible.

???: Ow, that hurts so much!

Mako: You're our classmate, Maiko Ogure!

MAIKO OGURE

(Y/N): That's either a really good thing or a really bad thing.

Ryuko: Are you okay? Your arm is hurt!

Maiko: It's you guys! Yes, I hurt my arm in that trap just now.

Maiko was struggling to stand.

Ryuko: Hey, don't overdo it!

Mako: Since Maiko is hurt, let's take her with us to school!

Maiko: I'd only slow you down! Leave me!

(Y/N): Quit whining, come on.

Y/N picked Maiko up and followed Ryuko and Mako through the traps.

Maiko: My hero~.

(Y/N): -_-

The group slowly made their way through the vicious obstacle course. It was made harder as Maiko would somehow manage to spring every trap they came across.

(Y/N): You're doing this on purpose aren't you?

Maiko: I'm sorry! You should just leave me!

(Y/N): ...Really?

Ryuko: No way! You're gonna make it with us!

(Y/N): But-

Ryuko: ALL OF US!!

(Y/N): I was just joking! Kind of...

Ryuko: Let's go!

The group decided to hijack a One-Star bus in order to speed things up. Maiko luckily new how to drive the bus and eventually they managed to make it all the way to the front entrance.

Mako: We made it! With 15 minutes to spare!

Ryuko: We couldn't have made it without you, Maiko!

(Y/N): Huh, guess it was a really good thing.

Maiko: Nonsense, you guys did all the hard work. Still, I'm happy you think so!

Mako: Yay! We're all friends now!

Moments later, Guts, the Mankanshoku family dog, came running towards them with Senketsu riding on top.

Mako: Look, Ryuko! Guts has brought you your uniform!

Maiko ran and kicked guts away and took Senketsu for herself.

Maiko: You let you guard down, Ryuko... I've been waiting for this moment for ages! This injured No-Star classmate was but a fake identity! My true identity... is Maiko Ogre Disciplinary Committee Head of Trap Development!

HEAD OF TRAP DEVELOPMENT

MAIKO OGURE

(Y/N): Oh. It was a bad thing then.

Ryuko: Trap development, huh?

Maiko: A shadowy figure who remains undercover among the common students, that is the head of the trap development's purpose. But I had grown sick and tired of that life, but then an idea came to my mind. I would steal the Kamui, a Goku Uniform which held power to go toe-to-toe with Lady Satsuki! With it, I could steal the throne from Satsuki herself!

Ryuko: Maiko, it sounds like you had everyone fooled-

(Y/N): Thinking back, she DID spring every trap we came across.

Maiko put on Senketsu and instantly transformed.

(Y/N): Wow. That looks terrible.

Ryuko: Oh come on! I had so much trouble putting it on. How can she do this, Senketsu!?

Senketsu: Forgive me, Ryuko. This woman has no shame.

Maiko: Now, let's try out this power, shall we?

Maiko clenched her fist and swung her fist, but she couldn't move anymore.

Maiko: What the!? I-I can't move!?

Ryuko: Senketsu... is it you?

Ryuko cracked her knuckles and glared at Maiko, and proceeded to literally beat Maiko out of her clothes.

Senketsu: *barf* Making me drink that grimy blood of hers! I'm sorry I was late, Ryuko!

Ryuko: Yeah, but since you didn't cheat on me, I'll forgive you.

(Y/N): ...Are... are you talking to your clothes?

Mako: Yeah! Ryuko named him Senketsu!

(Y/N): I didn't think you were THAT lonely.

Ryuko: I'm not! Only I can hear him!

(Y/N): Lonely AND crazy, Wow. I can already see the cats coming. 

Ryuko: Why you-

Mako: There's only five minutes to go until the first period bell rings! We have to go! I don't want to be late and get expelled!

The group began running for the Academy until Mako smashed head first into an invisible forcefield. It was then revealed that it was just a painting of Honnouji Academy.

Ryuko: What the hell's going on?

Maiko: Fools! This is my ultimate weapon! My fake school! And now!

Maiko pushed a button and the huge platform began rolling back down the hill of Honno City. Maiko took the sudden chaos to jump away to safety, leaving the group to roll down the hill. Ryuko quickly put Senketsu back on and looked at where they ended up.

Ryuko: This is the sea! This is way past square one!

(Y/N): Well, at least YOU got your regular clothes on, I still have my pajamas on.

Ryuko: We need to think of something!

Mako: OMG! This station is the nonstop rope express-way to school!

Ryuko: Nonstop!?

Ryuko threatened the One-Star conductor and got him to send the group on the car at full speed.

Ryuko: How much time is left?

Mako: One minute! In one minute, we'll be late! And expelled!

Ryuko jumped on top of the car and slashed the rope holding the car and sent the car flying toward the school. The sudden shaking sent Y/N out of the car.

Ryuko: Y/N!!!!

Mako: Y/N!!! OH NO!!!!

Ryuko and Mako watched in horror as Y/N fell to the city below. As he fell, Y/N closed his eyes.

(Y/N): Whelp, I can't say I didn't try. Oh well~ I'll never get to class on time now. I'll get expelled. and I won't have to deal with the craziness of this place anymore~

A smile crawled onto Y/N as he slowly fell, bliss taking him. Then, suddenly a voice spoke to him.

Inner (Y/N): Y/N... Y/N...

(Y/N): Huh, who's there?

Inner (Y/N): It's me, your inner self.

(Y/N): Oh, Hi inner me!

Inner (Y/N): We're going to be late and thus expelled right?

(Y/N): Yup! Isn't that great?

Inner (Y/N): "Expelled," expelled, right?

(Y/N): *Absolute Bliss* Yeah~.

Inner (Y/N): Doesn't that go on our permanent record?

(Y/N): ...Wut.

Inner (Y/N): And if it's from this school, won't it be harder to get into other schools or even universities?

(Y/N): .... (Buffering)

(Y/N): FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

______

______

Aikuro: Let's see, next up is... Matoi. Ryuko Matoi.

Instantly the cable car came crashing through the window and Ryuko and Mako came out and sat at their desk.

Aikuro: Ryuko Matoi?

Ryuko: Present.

As Aikuro began going down the list, Ryuko looked down in shame that she couldn't get all of them here, like she had said.

Ryuko: I'm sorry, Y/N. I thought I could... Damnit!

Aikuro: Um... (F/N) (L/N)?

Ryuko: I'm Sorry... *grits teeth*

(Y/N): Here.

Ryuko and Mako: EH!?!?!?!

Y/N was sitting at his desk with his uniform on, like nothing had happened.

Ryuko: Y/N!?!?! How did you-

(Y/N): I ran.

Ryuko: But, how did-

(Y/N): I ran REALLY fucking fast! >:P

Ryuko stared in shock that her friend was in class, despite falling from the cable car on the way in. Mako was hugging him, happy that she still had her two friends.

_____

_____

Meanwhile

Student Council Room

The Elite Four were busy monitoring the progress of No-Late Day and filing the paperwork of all the students that would be expelled. Satsuki sat calmly in her chair sipping tea.

Inumuta: Impossible!

Sanagayama: What is it?

Inumuta brought up the data he was looking at. The rest of the Student Council looked up at the monitor.

Inumuta: As per your order, Lady Satsuki, I kept an eye on Ryuko Matoi and her group. During the last few minutes before first period they boarded a cable car and rocketed toward the Academy.

Nonon: So what, four eyes!?

Inumuta: Well, (F/N) (L/N) fell out of the cable car and began to plummet to the ground. From where he was headed there was no chance of him making it on time.

Gamagoori: So he is expelled, then!

Inumuta: Wrong, he's on time.

Gamagoori: What!?

Satsuki stopped drinking her tea and looked at the screen.

Inumuta: Using the camera's around Honno City, Y/N landed in the slums, and at a speed I've never seen before, ran to his home and then ALL the way back up to his class room in under 25 seconds!

Satsuki: That should be impossible.

Inumuta: I can only tell you what the data shows my lady.

Satsuki narrowed her eyes at the picture of Y/N.

Satsuki: Who or what are you?