Chapter 43: C.H.E.R.U.B Part 2

And with that, the Cherubs decide to show Lyle Liption about the goodness of the world so he can continue to live. They begin by taking him still in his bed, to the hill to overlook a forest and a lake.

Cletus happily says, "Look around, Lyle. God's gift of nature is a wonder to behold, regardless of age... or wealth!"

"If you were to end your life, you'd be missing all of this!" Collin adds.

Suddenly, Zak appears wearing a leopard costume, "Mhm, you're gonna buy that load of shit from a baby and the sheep it fucks?" and does a suggestive gesture with his fingers, indicating sex.

Keenie covers her mouth and gasps, "That is so inappropriate! Especially in front of children!"

Collin blinks in a state of disbelief and Cletus gives a disappointed look.

Then Millie and Moxxie appear in cat costumes.

Millie then shows Keenie two middle fingers and says, "Oh, kiss our ass, prude!"

"Well, I do admit, nature is good, but even nature can have hardship," Blitz says, dressed as a lion.

Keenan, dressed as a wolf pup asks, "Dad, why are we wearing these costumes?"

"I'm not sure, but it's Zak's idea," Loona says, and since she's already a canine, she doesn't need a costume for it.

Then Aurora, who is also dressed like a cat, looks towards Tilla, "Besides, Tilla likes it."

It's revealed that Tilla is wearing a bird costume, a robin to be exact.

She flaps her wings and happily says, "Birdy says tweet tweet tweet!"

Keenie happily blushes and says, "Awww, that is so cute!"

"I have to agree. She's adorable," Cletus says.

Millie says, "I have to agree with them there." Then brings out her phone, "I need a picture."

And Millie takes the picture of Tilla in her costume, who has a big smile on her face.

Zak rolls his eyes, "Alright, enough with the cuteness. But Blitz is right about Nature..."

Then leans to Lyle, "Take it from me, a fellow genius. Nature is no picnic up close."

Then Zak presents Lyle with his binoculars. Lyle looks at the binoculars to see for himself. He sees a group of bunnies and squirrels together, and is suddenly eaten alive by a pack of wolves.

"Oh no!" Lyle says, shocked.

Collin then tries to take the binoculars, "S-stop looking!"

But Lyle continues to hold on to the binoculars, "I can't stop! I've never wanted to die more than I do now!"

Lyle continues to watch. A bear swipes a wolf to the ground and raises its paw to attack. Then the bear is crushed by a fallen tree, by a muscular logger with a chainsaw. Then a beehive lands on the man's head and begins to scream and panic. Soon, his arms are chopped off by the chainsaw and his body skewered by a charging stag. Everyone freezes in horror while Zak fakes it and grins smugly.

"It just goes to show that the world has its hardships, which is why we need to work on what we can do," Bliz says.

"Sounds like you know from experience," Moxxie says.

"Yeah. I've lived in another world full of magical creatures, animals, monsters, and disasters, and magic, so it can be a hard world to live in, but there are good things as well," Blitz says.

"Good point," Moxxie replies.

Cletus nervously says, "Let's go check out someplace else!"

Millie and Moxxie do a fist bump in their cat costumes.

The next stop is a shopping mall. And Lyle's bed is pushed through the wall and makes a hole in the wall.

"Oh, Lord. Where are we now? Let me perish!" Lyle says, practically begging.

"We're here to show you another thing life is worth living for: Childhood wonderment!" Keenie says, motion towards the crowd of children.

They are cheering by a sitting Santa Clause. One kid wears a 'Craft Mine' shirt, while another kid eats his booger.

"Why, look at those sweet diseased-ridden vermin. Their joy comes from innocence, unspoiled by the burdens of adulthood, and their middle-class existence. Such simple joy they have. It is inspiring. Thank you for showing me this," Lyle says.

Then Zak shouts, "Hey, dipshit!

Soon, Zak, dressed as Santa, Millie, Blitz, and Loona appears dressed as elves while being grumpy, Moxxie ends up being the reindeer. Aurora is dressed as a Christmas Angel. Keenan is dressed as a Gingerbread man. Tilla is dressed as a cute penguin. They are standing by the Santa and the child.

"Pengy Pengy! Honk Honk!" Tilla happily says and flaps her wings.

"Aww!" The Cherubs happily gushed toward Tilla.

Millie says, "That's too cute!" And brings out her phone, "Picture time, Tilly," And takes a picture of little Tilla.

"Continuing on from the cuteness zone. Wanna see whose lap you're sittin' on?!" Zak says, and rips off the Santa costume

'Santa' is revealed as an ugly gnome wearing a '#Cuties' shirt, and then the gnome makes a gnome noise. The kids scream and run. Lyle sobs like a baby as Collin and Keenie cover his eyes. A concerned Cletus pushes the bed away.

A boy actually shouts, "Santa's evil!"

Trying Plan C: The Cherubs bring Lyle to the woods next to a wooden sign that reads, 'Lover's Lookout.'

"Eh! This place reeks of teenagers!" Lyle says, disgusted.

Cletus happily flies to Lyle and says, "Lovers' Lookout, sir! We're here to remind you about possibly life's greatest joy of all-"

"Money!" Lyle cuts in.

But Collin says, "No! Love."

"I've never been in love before. I imagine it's quite nice," Lyle says.

"It's not too late, sir! You can still find-" Collin says.

But suddenly, Zak calls out, "Ha! Nice try, ugly."

And it's revealed that the three Imps decide to wear dresses, makeup, and wigs.

Zak turns to Blitz, "Hey Blitz, aren't you going to come out."

"I don't know Zak. This is kind of embarrassing," Blitz calls out.

"Come on Blitz, there's no harm in this. Besides, you look great," Zak says.

"You at least look better than Zak," Moxxie points out.

"Hey," Zak says.

"Well, alright," Blitz says.

Keenan and Tilla are standing near the bushes. Tilla is wearing a lavender purple sundress, blue silhouettes of song birds on branches, and pink musical notes, and pink sandals.

Aurora is dressed in a nice lavender purple dress with pink flowers and white feathers, and wears slip on shoes. Her hair is also in a side braid that has a pink flower hair clip in her hair.

Loona is wearing the burgundy dress with the upside down pentagram on the chest and black lining on the dress.

Soon, Blitz comes out of the tree to reveal himself wearing a lovely red one-shoulder gown with a left slit on the dress, black heels, and black elbow length gloves. Blitz is wearing a long black wig with a bang covering his white eye, along with eyeshadows and black lipsticks.

"Wow. You look so pretty, Blitz," Millie says.

Blitz blushes and says, "Thank you."

"Pretty pretty," Tilla says.

"Yes. You look very elegant," Aurora says.

"You look great, dad," Loona says.

"Thank you, I guess," Blitz replies.

"I have to admit, you look good. But still, I'm not wearing a dress," Keenan says.

"Well it's your loss, Keenan," Zak says, shrugging his shoulders.

He then pulls out a megaphone, "Hey, horny lovers! Which one of you would fuck this old man?!"

In the matter of seconds, the cars speed away in response, leaving Lyle dejected.

Then Collin gets into Zak's face, "You know, you three are so utterly c-c-cruel. We're just trying to give hope to someone in need!"

"Oh, and you three are so superior to us just because we want some selfish, greedy, authoritarian capitalist to keel over dead!" Moxxie says.

Hearing that, Blitz says, "That's kind of harsh."

"Yeah. Moxxie, you're making things too real now," Zak says.

Then Zak looks at Blitz, "But still, I have to admit, you look really nice in this."

He then brings out his camera with a smirk, "I think it's good to get a picture."

And with that, Zak gets a picture of Blitz dressed in the attire. He types on his phone a bit and presses some buttons.

"There you go," Zak says.

"What did you do?" Blitz asks, concerned.

"I sent the photo of you to Stolas," Zak says.

"What?!" Blitz exclaims in shock and feels embarrassed, "Wh-why would you do that?! It's going to be so embarrassing!"

"Because I know Stolas will like it," Zak says.

"Yeah. I kind of sent some of Tilla's costume pictures to the others, Stolas and Octavia included. They all agree that Tilla is so adorable in her costumes. I like to ask if I can post her pictures on Social Media," Millie happily says. "Even Stolas loves them."

Zak looks at his phone, "And Stolas just wrote how gorgeous you look in the dress."

"He... he really said that," Blitz says, embarrassed and with a smile.

Collin flies over, "Sounds like you seem to have affection towards this Stolas character."

"Um yeah, but I'm not sure..." Blitz says.

"How come?" Millie asks.

"Well, it's difficult to explain, but I was married for a while, and even had Aurora, Keenan and Tilla, but my wife passed away from an illness she had since her childhood. But Crystal was grateful that she lived a good life," Blitz says, "I met Stolas sometime later, but I'm not sure, even though I also thought otherwise."

"Sounds to me that you're unsure about starting over," Collin says.

"That's about right," Blitz says. "One of the reasons why I'm not sure is because I'm worried about my kids. Especially since it's already been over a year since their mother passed. I'm also not sure if the kids are ready for me to meet with someone else. Plus the one I'm developing feelings for has a daughter as well, so I also need to keep that in mind."

"And that's okay. These things take time. It's never too late to fall in love again, but just remember to take your time with it. I'm sure that one day, your love will come through," Keenie says.

"And of course, if you are looking for a new partner, it's also good to see how well the partner and children get along, along with your partner's kid. All of you are a team, so it's up to all of you if this relationship works out," Collin says.

"And once that's done, you'll know for sure if that partner is the one," Cletus says.

"Thanks. I'll keep that in mind," Blitz says.

"Hey, we're supposed to be fighting against then. Not Cherubs giving our friend some love counseling," Zak says.

"I happen to think they gave him really good advice," Moxxie says.

"I agree. After all, it is true, if this relationship is going to work, the kids also need to get along with the new partners," Millie says.

Zak groans and mutters, "Who side are you all on anyway?"

Sometime later, the next plan that the Cherubs have, they've taken him to an auditorium where a Viking woman is singing opera with a fake unicorn and a well dressed pianist playing the piano. The Cherubs are well-dressed and Lyle is simply wearing a tie.

"Behold, the wonder of art and music! Something always here to comfort, entertain, and live for!" Cletus says.

Up above the stage on the catwalk, Zak and the others are watching from the catwalk.

"So, how do we make this bad?" Millie asks.

"We can't. There's literally nothing bad about opera, and that's a fact," Moxxie says.

"Unless, we ruin it somehow," Zak says with a mischievous grin.

He then grabs one of the spotlights and moves it away from the singer. The singer pauses and follows the light to continue singing. However, Zak continues. to move the light around to ruin the show.

"She's not very good," Lyle says.

Zak continues moving the light faster and faster as Lyle and the Cherubs narrow their eyes in suspicion. And then, with one sudden slip, Zak accidentally lets go of the stag light as the singer sings a final note before the light appears to have 'crushed' her on the stage. The audience, Lyle, and the cherubs scream, while the man nervously tries to keep playing the piano. But suddenly, to everyone's shock, the opera singer reappears on the stage, unharmed. The audience including Lyle and the Cherubs gasp in shock. But then, the audience including Lyle claps and applauds thinking this is part of the performance. The Cherubs are shocked and yet relieved to see the woman is saved, but wonders how.

Back stage, it's revealed that Blitz has used his magic to rescue the singer just in time and make her reappear. The singer bows before leaving the stage.

Blitz says in thought, "That was close."

Back on the catwalk...

"Oh, at least we kind of made it bad," Zak says.

"But how did the lady survive?" Millie asks.

Moxxie answers, "I suspect our Magical Imp friend is able to handle that part."

"Same old Blitz, always willing to help those in need," Zak says.

Suddenly, the Three Cherubs fly to the group and are furious.

Cletus is the first to shout at them, "THAT'S IT! I HAVE HAD IT! You three monsters have messed with us enough!"

"D'ooh... we're just trying to do our j-j-job!" Collin says.

"Well, so are we!" Moxxie says.

Cletus angrily shouts, "EEEENOUGH!"

Just then, the Cherubs then summon golden crossbows and aim them at the I.M.P.

"We are saving that shitty old man's life whether he wants it or not!" Cletus says.

"Well sorry to burst your bubble, but someone wants that old fucker dead, okay? So he's gotta go," Zak says.

Then Keenie leans "You all are such disgusting, loathsome beasts! Your kind is nothing but dirt that shitty dead people tread on! And now, you're trying to meddle with the lives of HUMANS?! At least that other Imp with the cute kids has more common sense than you do!"

Millie then pushes Zak out of the way and angrily says, "So are you! So why don't you shut your trap, you judgmental ..."

She pulls her necklace and snaps it back, "Cotton candy, tit-havin' BITCH?!"

This causes Keenie to snap, "...FILTHY DEMON CRAP!" And tackles Millie to the ground.

Soon, opera music begins to play as the fight between the I.M.P and C.H.E.R.U.B begins.

Cletus and Collin shoot golden arrows at Zak, and Moxxie, and the three run across the catwalk. As Zak and Moxxie bring out their weapons. As Millie and Keenie fight, they fall off the catwalk.

Seeing Millie falling, Moxxie runs down the catwalk and jumps down, swinging from a rope. Swinging on the rope, Moxxie holds a pistol in one hand and aims it at Keenie, who fights with Millie in the air. Millie slaps Keenie in the face several times. Moxxie fires at a rope which releases a bag. The bag separates Keenie and Millie, and Moxxie catches Millie. Moxxie and Millie grab each other's faces with lustful grins. They French-kiss and make out as they swing and spin rapidly above the stage and fire from their weapons. Zak spots Moxxie's bow-tie and Millie's bra fall from above.

As Moxxie and Millie spin on the rope, arrows and bullets hit and kill the audience members in the first two rows, but they all miss Lyle. Backstage, Blitz quickly hides the kids away from the massacre and remains out in the open in case the others need help.

Seeing it all, Lyle says, "It's all starting to make sense now. Life is worth living because we only get one. We must cherish it. If creatures far beyond this living world are going through these lengths over my life, then certainly it's worth living. Killing myself is not the answer. Plus, I'm still rich! I can just buy all the things! I no longer crave death!"

Lyle stands up and holds dollar bills in his hands in triumph. The audience members clap.

Meanwhile, Zak runs along the metal scaffolding and jumps to one that is being held by a rope. Zak turns to see Cletus. The two then point their weapons at each other. Zak tries to fire the gun, but he's all out of bullets. He then throws the rifle at Cletus, blinding him.

"Ah! You fuckers!" Cletus shouts in blind fires his arrow.

That causes the scaffolding to fall to the ground with Zak, Moxxie and Millie on it. Soon, the three crash onto the stage. Then bedding aboard holding the piano, and narrowly missing the pianist. The pianist stops playing, puts down his stool, and uses it to step down from the bent floorboard. The piano is then sent flying through the air. Everyone stares as the piano flies in the air and begins and towards Lyle Lipton. Before the piano can crush Lyle, something catches the piano and is now floating in thin air. The Cherubs and the three demons gasp in shock. Lyle looks up and is shocked to see the piano flying.

"The piano is... is floating," Lyle says, shocked.

The pair of groups turn to see Blitz is on stage and uses his magic to keep the piano in air. Blitz then uses his magic and hands to move the piano away from Lyle and places it on the ground. A short distance away. Blitz then cancels his magic and is feeling a little tired from it.

"Oh my goodness," Keenie says, surprised.

"That Imp was able to use magic," Collin says.

"How is that possible," Cletus asks, surprised.

Zak rolls his eyes, "Yep, that's Blitz for you."

"Well, it's better than those Cherubs ending up doing the job for us... maybe," Moxxie says, thinking of it.

Blitz walks over to the others, "Are you guys okay?"

"We're fine," Zak says.

"A bit tied up at the moment," Millie says.

"Let me help with that," Blitz says.

Then helps Zak and the others get out of the mess they're in. As Blitz frees his friends, Loona and the kids rush over in concern.

"Are you all okay?" Aurora asks.

"We're fine," Millie says, standing up.

Soon, the Cherubs fly over and are astonished by Blitz's magic.

"I must admit, I didn't expect an Imp to perform magic," Cletus says.

"Yeah. Imps shouldn't be able to possess that kind of magic," Keenie says.

"It's kind of a long story," Blitz says with a sheepish smile.

"What about Lyle Liptoon? Why saved him?" Collin asks.

"Well, I couldn't just stand there and allow him to get crushed." Blitz says.

"Aww, that's sweet," Keenie says.

"At least Lyle knows that there's still time to live, right, Mr. Lyle..." Cletus says.

But Lyle isn't answering.

"Mr. Lyle," Cletus says.

The group turns to see Lyle Lipton is lying on the bed and he isn't moving.

"Is he okay?" Keenan asks.

Blitz climbs off the stage and walks to Lyle. He is lying on the bed and looks like he's sleeping. Being a medical mage, Blitz knows what to do. He gently takes hold of Lyle's west and places two of his wingers on his wrist. He places his hand over Lyle's mouth and nose.

Blitz turns to the others and shakes his head in response. The Cherubs gasps in shock, but soon nod their heads.

"Uh, I don't get it," Millie says, confused.

"What happened?" Moxxie asks.

Blitz then answers, "I'm afraid Lyle Lipton has passed away."

"How sad," Keenan says.

"But how?" Zak asks.

"If I had to guess, I'm guessing that his body is unable to keep himself going. In the end, he simply passed away," Blitz answers.

"It's better than being murdered," Keenie says.

"So the guy ended up dying anyway," Zak says. Then mutters, "What a waste of time."

Blitz sighs, "Come on guys, let's head back to the office."

"Yeah. Better than sticking around here," Zak says.

Keenan turns to the others, "What will you do now?"

"Well, seeing that the human has passed on, there isn't anything we can do at this point," Collin says.

"It's just the way life works," Cletus says.

"Come on guys, let's head home," Keenie says.

Soon, Keenie creates a portal above and they fly into Heaven. Zak calls Zoey and a portal to the office opens. Then the group walks through and back to the office.

Sometime later, after the crazy fight with the Cherubs, Blitz, the kids, Moxxie, Millie, and Zak return to the I.M.P office. Of course, they have to explain to the others about the involvement and brawl with the Cherubs.

"You guys really got into a fight with Cherubs in the living world?" Topaz asks, surprised.

"No kidding. Those shrimp were getting in our way of our work, but the guy ended up dying from his old age," Zak says.

Then turns to Blitz, "Still, Blitz didn't let the guy get crushed by the piano."

"I just didn't think he deserved to die like that. Not if I have anything to do about it. Besides, I feel that it's best to live his life before his passing. Sadly, it wasn't much longer," Blitz says.

"You're a softy, you know that," Zak says.

"I happen to agree with Blitz. Lyle was bound to pass from his old age, killing him or not," Moxxie says.

"Yeah. Killing the fun out of it," Zak says. Still, I can't believe that Lyle died before we could. He's probably up in Heaven by now."

"I somehow doubt it," Blitz says.

"What made you say that?" Zak asks.

"Well, Loopty mentioned that he and Lyle neglect to use Poor People for his technological advances and illegal experiments. Als Loopty even confessed that they did. Plus, Moxxie points out that Lyle is a selfish, greedy, authoritarian capitalist. And he does show that he is one the way he talks about money and such," Blitz explains.

"In other words, those are sins that are good enough to get him into Hell. And the moment he died, Lyle would be walking around Pentagram City somewhere," Wesley says.

"So Lyle could really be in Hell," Moxxie says, realizing it himself.

"Seems so," Loona says.

"I wonder where Mr. Lyle ended up in Hell now?" Aurora asks.

"I'm not sure. He could be anywhere in Hell by now," Blitz says.

Just then, a metal escalator crashes through the office wall onto the floor of the meeting room. Descending from the escalator is Loopty Goopty.

He calls out, "Zaaaaaaak!"

"Hello Loopty, I do appreciate it that you stop wrecking the office and use the door," Zak says with his arms crossed and with a frown.

Just then, another escalator crashes through the wall and lands in the meeting room.

Coming down is a robotic appearance with a round, spherical body with his head on top and arms on his sides. He wears a light green vest with a dark outline on top and one button on the front, a dark bowler hat with a red stripe, and a pair of light green gloves on his hands. He has mint-green skin with a red triangular patch on his chin, a large bushy light gray mustache, and a pair of red pince-nez goggles with dark red spirals on the lens. With his lower half being a ball and lacking legs, he gets around simply by rolling. His teeth resemble that of piano keys.

Seeing who it is, Zak, Millie, and Moxxie say surprise, "Lyle Lipton?!"

"I guess Blitz is right. You didn't go to Heaven at all," Topaz says.

Lyle scoffs and says, "Heaven?! You don't make millions in technological advances in robotics by NOT experimenting on the poor!" and laughs.

Loopty is pleased to hear it, "Oh, you no good heartless son of a bitch!"

Then turns to Zak and the others, "Thank you for reuniting me with my best friend!"

"Guess all's well that ends well," Wesley says.

"But what will you two do now?" Keenan asks.

"That is a good question, little boy," Lyle says, "What do two old genius robotic inventors do, now that we're in Hell?"

Suddenly, Wally Wackford crashes through the ceiling, making another hole.

Then announces, "Did someone say, I say, inventors?! Name's Wally Wackford, and I am lookin' for creative new people to exploit!"

Then quickly corrects himself, "I mean employ." and twirls his mustache.

Zak places his hand on his face and groans, "Seriously."

"This is going to take a while for us to fix," Wesley says, and grants with frustration.

Zak rolls his eyes and says, "Satan's balls! First we deal with Heaven's table-scraps, now this?"

"I guess, you can say, you say, you have a holey operation here, Zachary!" Wally jokes.

He then slaps his knee and starts laughing. Then doubles down on the floor.

"That was bad," Wesley says.

"Really bad," Topaz adds.

Wally continues to laugh and says, "Oh hoh hoh! I said 'Oh!'"

Zak grits his teeth and tries to remain calm, "As funny as it is, however, at the moment I'm not laughing. Now then, I appreciate it if you all..." then shouts in rage, "GET THE FUCK OUT!"

That catches everyone shocked and surprised.

Zak takes a deep breath and calmly says, "Moxxie, Millie, you may have the rest of the day off after what has happened. And take Blitz and his family out to get something to eat. The rest of us will have to work on this mess."

Then glare at the Wally and the two sinners, "And you three are going to pay for damages."

Moxxie, Millie, and Blitz pick up the kids and take their leave.

"Come on guys, let's go," Blitz says.

"Agree," Moxxie and Millie reply.

The four demons and the kids take their leave and are out of the office.

"So what do we do now?" Millie asks.

"Well, I'm hungry," Keenan says.

"Me too," Keenan says.

"How about we all go out for some dinner," Blitz says.

"Good idea. I know a good restaurant to go to, especially for the kids, and they actually have good ice cream" Moxxie says.

And with that, the kids, "Yay!"

"Sounds nice, but dinner first," Blitz says.

"Okay," The kids reply happily.

And with that, the group takes their leave to get some food in their stomachs.

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